The Last day of the Year

For those drivers who have made it to this day we have been lucky and responsible in our driving experience. Now we come down to the very last day of the year, having survived until now, but we are facing the most insane period of the year: New Year's celebrations. We will go out to join in some form of activity that will almost certainly involve alcohol.

For most people the celebrations will be about welcoming in 2017, with hope for improvement and a better life, but the toast will be with cava and other booze. I have always been a little confused by this because no-one can know what the new year will actually bring, so what are we celebrating? We can hope, we can guess, and we can personally be positive, but what actually will take place during the year is anybody's guess.

I always prefer to confine my toast to what I know. In spite of 2016 having been the year of staggering stupidity and a mess, for me and my family the year was good to us. It allowed me to write and publish two books; and for our son he has made great progress in his chosen career in the mountains of the Spanish Pyrenees. All three of us have enjoyed good health, which really was on the top of our wish list, and remains there for 2017.

So, although the year has not yet ended I can wish for you and us that we take care to drive carefully so that we live to see in the new year. At least we can do our part to make 2017 the safest for travel. We always have a choice: we can overtake, or not; we can cruise at too much speed for that stretch of road, or not: and, perhaps most importantly we can choose to intake something that will impair our judgement and drive, or not: Only you and I can drive for ourselves. It's solely up to us.

Happy Motoring 2017!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael  

FOUL Weather Driving

At this time the weather along the Eastern coast of Spain, normally referred to as The Costa del Sol, is anything but Sol. For almost two weeks the rain has been coming down in response to our prayers. We've got rain, more than we can use, but it's still better to have to wish for the rain to stop than for it to start. Wishing for it to start could mean years before our wish is fulfilled.

Many of the Eastern communities are experiencing flooding, and in one tragic case a man was trying to save his beloved car but was swept out to sea. All those of us who love our machines as though they were a part of our hearts will understand his bravery.

On the roads we are finding we have to be careful as we go from dry patch to road rivers. There are the warnings that suggest that only if we have to go on the roads should we do so. If that something we think we need that will take us out of the house can really wait until tomorrow, then let it wait.

I was out of the house today and found most people to be driving with caution and commonsense, but there always has to be at least one absolute shit for brains. I just wish he would come to grief on his own without involving anyone else, but do it quickly.

On a past occasion I was driving cautiously when I saw coming up from behind me a van that started to overtake me along a short but straight bit of road. What is wrong with this imbecile? I thought. Just after he passed me, in returning to the proper side of the road he slammed into a massive pool of water and aquaplaned right off the road into a ditch. However, he couldn't quite turn completely on his side because of restraining earth, thus leaving the driver's side very high and dry.

I slowed to a crawl and as I passed him he looked down on me. I looked up at him with great concern etched on my forehead, although I didn't stop to help him. Why the hell should I have got involved with all that would have been necessary to sort out that situation.

It was only when I got around the next bend did I allow myself to laugh my ass off.

Please lower your speed and exercise due care and attention in these circumstances. I appeal to all to do this in both your own interest as well as mine.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

'Tis Christmas time again

Although I would not say that I am a practising Christian I will say to all who care, Have a Merry Christmas, full of good cheer and goodwill to all men. This is the way it has always been in Christian countries, but due to some very ignorant people it seems to be under threat. They say we should not show outright examples of celebrations for the Christmas spirit. Instead of Merry Christmas we should say, "Happy Holidays!" That would only be appropriate in the case of a mixed group of people who celebrate different religious groupings.

Seemingly, the reason for down playing Christmas is because we might offend some people, such as the Moslems. Even the Moslems are saying, "Eh?" Why would we be offended, we know this is a Christian country, and while we would like to see it convert to Islam, which is highly unlikely, we take no offense with your customs. If we can't accept what goes on here we can simply pull up stakes and return to our own country.

So, there is really no reason why we need to down play customs and traditions. I personally will look on from the sidelines and encourage anyone else who wants to get stuck into the fiestas. I must say that I prefer the Spanish way of Christmas celebrations. Rather than an orgy of shopping, which has nothing to do with the Christian meaning of this time of year, it is all about being with family and friends on the 24th and 25th December. Gift giving is done on the 6th January, Reyes, the day of the Three Kings.

I mention this because the Christmas fiestas do generate a lot of wining and dining among friends and colleagues. Inevitably it also involves a lot of driving home after the party when it is very difficult not to partake in the flow of wine and cava as we toast one another. I will have to remind myself, as I do every year at this time, that I have been good all year long by refraining from driving after drinking. This is not the time to change, because a fatal crash from intoxication will have ever lasting consequences for my family and yours.

So, Merry Christmas to each and everyone, or if you prefer Happy Holidays! Just so that we drivers all do our parts towards making the fiestas safe.


Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Distractions

Driving is so common place in today's world that we just take so many things for granted. Unfortunately, so many people fail to realise the difference between being in their living room and their car. The difference can be summed up in one word: concentration.

From the moment we start up the engine we are in another world that requires our full focus from the off. So many people pull out into traffic and immediately crash into a passing car. If we avoid doing that there is the normal distractions of traffic. While paying attention to what's happening in our lane we must also be aware of what going on around us. What will the drivers to our right and to our left do next. Here in Spain there is no recognition of lane discipline, so the person to our extreme left may want to go to the right, and will do so crossing all traffic. Stay alert!

Knowing full well that drivers need to concentrate the department for roads allow billboards to be placed in strategic locations to distract us with stupid messages selling us stuff. If we read all that crap we would kill ourselves and others as well. This is pure and simple greed for money and is totally irresponsible.

In the car, if we turn our head to the right without consciously holding the wheel steady, our hand will follow our eyes and we find ourselves driving off the road, or worse, into oncoming traffic if we look left. Even glancing down to check my speed just for a split second disorients me. If I want to select a radio station to listen to I have to do it all by touch without taking my eyes off the road. If you are my passenger and you are talking to me don't expect me to look at you.

So, why on earth are manufacturers making dashboard screens for drivers to watch which are called infotainment centres? We have long had Tom-Tom type GPS systems, but at least there is a voice telling us when to turn left and right. These new systems provide a wide choice of information and entertainment. Some of the more sensible systems don't operate while the car is underway, but others make no such distinction. Surely, this is not right.

I suppose the manufacturers will say that they depend on the common sense of drivers. Well, don't take that to the bank. If common sense was always at work on the roadways we would have no collisions at all. I think it goes the other way round. We are depending on the common sense of your designers to produce products that don't put dangerous temptation in our way.

The most amazing thing about all of this is that one of the offenders is Volvo, the leading name in car safety. When asked to comment the company failed to do so. Come on Volvo, I have always believed in you. I know you can do better.

Bring on self-driving cars!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

 

Underground parking Hell!

It is just as well that we think of Hell as a place that is underground. It can also be above ground in high rise parking lots because with the size of today's cars it is becoming ever more difficult to park and leave without scraping the sides of your car. To make matters worse every exit it seems has to be on a bend. I have only once scraped my car and I still have the proof.

To begin with, many parking buildings were not purpose built, so we are expected to drive our cars up and down stairs where before people walked. For small cars there is usually not too much of a problem, except some bloody genius has seen fit to place pavement-like concrete high enough so that as you try to get close enough to reach the reader you scrape the side of your car just where it is the most difficult to repair. Bloody idiots!

My Volvo is a sedan. I have come back to it after having parked and found a car that has come in and is now my neighbour that is so large and high I feel as though I am in a toy car. Who needs such massive machines? Just taking the kids to school, these surely are not necessary? I suppose it could be argued that they serve well for defense as I think should I encounter one head-on, send my ashes home.

Then there is always the problem of the people who park so badly that they take up two spaces. Man, the urge to kill when only strangulation will do becomes so strong. How can we be so selfish. When I come into contact with such stupidity I get dizzy.

I have a GJX Jaguar Sovereign that is a long car that I avoid parking in underground or multi-floor car parks. I park only in open air ground level parking areas which provide me enough problems. The next challenge will be those elite cars that drive and park themselves, I'm hopeful that they will solve a lot of the problems that presently exist due to our own stupidity, but as long as we will have a mix of people and robot drivers I can only see a brand new lot of difficulties over the transition period.

Good luck to us all as we will need it!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Car Keys lost!

A dear friend has related to me this week her tale of woe following the disappearance of the key to the car. This reminded me of my own experience that happened many years ago that taught me to never allow it to happen again.

At that time I had rented a car from Boston airport and I drove it north into New Hampshire to go skiing. I rented a place to live and off we went to the ski slopes. After a day out it was time to return to the hotel. I was frozen to the bone. I got the key out of my pocket, but because my hands were so cold I fumbled the key and dropped it. I had not noticed that I had parked directly over a grate into a drain. Even if it were possible to normally remove the covering, with the car standing over it that was out of the question.

None of the options that were possibly open to me were going to be inexpensive, convenient, quick, or warm. In the end getting a second key cost much more than the original rental. I said then that I would never ever again  lose the key to the car. Considering that was more than fifty years ago and it has never happened again, I can say so far, so good.

However, I owned a Chrysler people carrier for which I had about six keys and still managed to lock all six in the car. More trouble, but at least it was during the Summer.

I notice how other people treat their keys because it's something that is very much on my mind. There is often no plan at all to protect the safety and security of such an important item. These days cars come with such high tech security keys that to try and replace them involves so much. Now, if thieves want to steal your car they have to break into your house to get the key, and while they are there they also take your other stuff and drive off in your Porsche.

My routine goes like this. I carry a man bag on which I clip my house keys and my car keys. That way, if I have my bag I also have my keys. Once I reach my destination and I lock the car I immediately attach my car key to my bag in the same location. Once or twice I have been lazy and simply put the key in my pocket. You should see the panic when I reach to where the key should be and it's not there.

I also carry a spare key. This key is completely worthless if it's at home or inside the car. It has to be with me wherever I go. In fact it forms a part of duplicates to all my keys, which makes my bag so heavy. A good object lesson from this is the following incident:  I was far from home at an Ikea store when I was loading the goods purchased in the boot of my car. Someone passing in his car stopped to ask me directions, and during those moments when I was dealing with him his partner stole the keys to my car. Now my car was a sitting duck, just waiting for him to come back when I had moved away from it to report the incident.

What foiled him was that I had a spare set on my belt and I simply drove to the police station to make my report.

The only other thing that can so completely change your plans for the day is the flat tyre. That we cannot avoid if it's going to happen, but at least we carry a spare with us. However, it seems to me that flat tyres are reserved for nights or rainy weather.

So, care and protection of the car key deserves a very high priority, because to lose your key is going to be expensive and a real pain in the arse. Take my word for it, I've done that and it is not something I ever want to repeat.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Driving with the Opposition

I am a person who has made my share of mistakes while driving, and I hope I have learned from them. I am much older and I think I am a lot wiser than when I was a boy racer. Now I place the emphasis on driving safely while anticipating what the other fellow is going to do. I have built up guidelines that keep me safe and out of trouble, and perhaps I have become a little smug.

Once in a while I find myself the passenger in a car that is being driven by the mad opposition. I think this happens for my sins, but there I am at the mercy of  a hooligan on wheels. Someone who flouts not only all my careful guidelines and rules but also the rules of the road. We are driven at great speed when we were not really in any hurry to get to our destination. Why is that necessary?

I wonder what goes through the heads of some people while they are driving? My driver charged through small spaces and cut off others while swerving and changing lanes as though he were a mad man. I found that while looking ahead I was driving for him by pressing down hard on the floor with my toes curled. So, I stopped looking. I simply took in the scenery out the side window as best I could as it flashed on by.

Most people would have been totally stressed, calling out look out for this or that. Not me, I simply told myself that if today is the day when this life ends I will simply go with the flow. I said absolutely nothing. I didn't need to because there was another person in the car with whom the driver was having a conversation.

It's a strange thing about Spain in that drivers are generally in a hurry, as especially those people in the cities usually are, even if they really aren't going anywhere important. I think it's the coffee. We speak quickly and do things in a hurry when we really could take things in less of a panic. This ultimately leads to car crashes on the highway and people die. For this reason I can't wait for the day when all cars will drive themselves. Also, when that happens I won't have to be so selective about who I ride in a car with.

Now, I almost need to give the driver a test before I get in his car as I place my life in his careless hands.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Driverless cars speed ahead

I am a great fan of the concept of driverless cars. I am looking at driver behaviour every day that I'm sure autonomous cars would never be guilty of. Simple stuff like driving while drunk or under the influence of other substances. The one thing that really annoys me is those drivers who overtake me only to immediately slow down or turn off the road, thereby causing me to apply brakes.

There are so many problems that would be solved. but it seems that some control will remain for the human, even if it's elective. We will still have to be licensed and insured, and we will still have some degree of responsibility.

The list of capabilities being in-built into these models of the future is really fabulous. However,  the car is left with any number of moral decisions that affect humans as well, but the difference is that the car will be able to react much faster. For one thing inattention will not be one of its faults.

Inattention is perhaps the human's greatest downfall, leading in far too many cases to death on the highway. Take for instance simply driving for far too long a period of time to the point where your eyelids begin to close. This can happen day or night. The problem with this is there is no hard and fast rule to avoid it. Yes, we should stop and take a break every two hours, or less to recharge our personal batteries. However, in reality it depends on whether you slept well last night; or did you have a lunch that was too heavy, rendering you a prime subject for a siesta?

Perhaps you are fully alert but your attention is diverted by children fighting in the back, or something happening outside the car that takes not only your attention but everybody's else as well.

It's a sad commentary that science is on this track because we recognize that we humans are not to be trusted to be in charge of  these potentially lethal machines. Twenty-seven years ago I made the prediction that within the coming 50 years we would have self-driving vehicles, because it was so evident then that something had to be done.

Providing insurance cover is going to be a massive problem. So far, under very controlled circumstances there have been very few crashes, and that is to say we are in the development stage. I suppose that the car would be insured, as they do here in Spain, rather than the driver. The problem will arise in those cars that allow the human to take back control. That may take us back to Square One.

The most keen market should be us old fogies who have been driving for many years. I would love to be driven, especially on the long runs. Young people will be the least likely to take that choice, as long as there is a choice. I think I remember the days when I enjoyed driving. Those were good times and I was as happy as a clam. Now it's a chore, even in the Jag.

I really shouldn't just come right out and say this, but truth is that if I can't have a staff of beautiful women to drive me I'll just have to settle for a driverless Jag or Maserati.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

When two great Sins collide

For some time I have noticed that people have been committing two sins against common sense. They are equal in their gravity and they are done without thinking by adults who should know better.

The first of these are those persons who take their very small children for a walk by pushing the child in a push chair. When they come to cross the street, instead of swinging the child around so that it is the adult who crosses first after making certain that it is safe, the child is simply pushed out into the street and is exposed to crossing traffic. It is something of an everyday miracle that we have not had to read of somebody's baby having been killed by being run over. However, parents if you continue this practise it will happen.

You will cry and you will have to suffer the indescribable pain of  having to bury your child who died because of your own  thoughtlessness. I'm sorry to be the one to bring you this reality, but at least you can consider this as an alert. You can also be the first one to set the example by pulling your child across the street. Others will get the point and the trend will develop.

I have written about this before, but of course no-one takes unsolicited advice from me. What is needed is a big push from Trafico ( the Dgt) to heighten people's awareness, but evidently they don't see this as the clear and  present danger that it is.

The other sin that most people have committed at least once is that of talking on the mobile while driving. I have done this by using the hands-free system, but even that is a distraction. That would be the best way of talking to someone by phone while driving if you really must, but it is not the same thing as speaking to a passenger in the car sitting beside you. Anything at all that distracts the driver is a bad thing.

We have now read a report that in downtown Valencia a driver was speaking on her mobile phone, presumably while holding it to her ear, when she came face-to-face with two children in the same push chair crossing the street. She was driving a 4x4 as she plowed right into them, fortunately at a very slow speed.

It appears that for those who saw what happened this was a scene of utter horror. However, she did stop promptly and determined that the children, while badly shaken up were probably not seriously hurt. She gave all her particulars and then left the scene. I prefer to think that she left because of the trauma of what she and the children's father had done.

This was a wake-up call that says we really must change the way we do things to avoid a full-scale tragedy, one that will take place. It's just a question of "When."

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The Tailgater

One of Clint Eastwood's early movies featured the storyline that as an ordinary driver he inadvertently picks up a tailgater driving a truck. The entire movie was about how the tailgating terrorist proceeded to make the driver's driving experience a living hell.

So it was in my own case this past week. I was driving my classic Jag between Denia and Valencia when I noticed that a Man brand truck was stuck to my rear bumper. The only things I know about the driver are that, (a) he was a complete and utter imbecile; (b) he was intent on making me as uncomfortable as he could; (c) and that he, and the whole world would be much better off were he to simply lie down and give up his last breath.

Firstly, let me state what I think are redeeming qualities of  truckers. These guys are responsible for massive moving vehicles that potentially, in the hands of irresponsible persons could cause the motoring public and pedestrians a lot of trouble. Mostly the drivers handle their responsibilities well. They also show extraordinary good judgement, except when driving in convoy. Then they all seem to lose their collective minds and cruise along nose-to-tail.

That creates a wall of trucks through which people wishing to exit the highway cannot penetrate. Why do they do this? They know it is illegal. It is against all common sense, and for each driver it's potentially a death trap.

How do we know when we are leaving enough braking space between us and the vehicle ahead? We can know by picking any landmark and when the vehicle ahead passes it we count "one, one thousand, two one thousand." We must be able to count in a normal tempo, and to complete the count before we reach the same landmark. That will work at any speed, provided your brakes and tyres are in good condition, and that you are alert.

Under rainy conditions and at night we are better prepared if we leave additional space. To get that space count up to "three, one thousand" or more.

The genius I had tailgating behind me probably thought that I was one of those ultra car proud Jag owners who treat their cars as though they are the most valuable thing in the world. No! In so far as I am concerned it's a car, and every time I take it on the road I run the risk of encountering some horses' ass who will end up writing off my car. When that happens I will simply get another one, if I'm still alive.

I found myself driving for both of us. I had to control him by slowing him down in anticipation that we may have had to stop. A stop for me might have been easy, but for him in his 12-wheel rig is a lot more difficult. Finally I had enough of the risk he was imposing upon me. We were approaching an off ramp that I knew was there, which also had an easy on-again ramp, so without signalling to him I suddenly increased speed and pulled off road. Had he tried to follow me he would have jack-knifed his trailer and made an awful mess.

So, to that one man who clearly has fecal matter where his brain is supposed to be, I wish upon him a whole case of very bad piles that will force him out of driving every thing.

One thing that is for certain is that he has no place behind the driving wheel.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Hydroplane, but only if you want to!

As we say goodbye to Summer we have to now fix our concentration on other kinds of driving other than nice dry road types. There are people who live in areas that become socked in with snow and ice. I won't even pretend to know anything about driving in such conditions. I just ask how is that done? It seems to me to be an extra difficult thing to get around, especially on hilly terrain when you are faced with blizzards, ice on the road, and snow banks, if you can even find your car. I am just not hardy enough to be able to cope with those conditions.

I wanted to talk about simply driving in rainy conditions, because we do need to refocus our minds. The greatest danger to winter weather drivers is that we will have to drive in rainy conditions, which brings along with it special protocols. If we are not aware or choose to ignore them we are likely to end up in a bad way, and worse, we will be the cause of misfortune to others.

The number one danger is that of Hydroplaning our cars due to the loss of control. I am told that there are several things we should keep in mind:

One: Slow down during wet periods. If we drive too fast for the state of the road your wheels will not be able to maintain contact with the surface. The result will most likely be a disaster.

Two: Maintain tyres in good condition. Good thread equals good contact with the road surface.

Three: I'm told that to turn off the cruise control should probably be number one on the list. The driver has to take back control to be able to make crucial decisions at all times.

For manual geared cars it is better to drive in at least one gear down from the top gear. In other words, I drive in fourth rather than fifth. This gives me better control and means that I drive at a reduced rate. At night time, even if my eyesight was 20/20, which it's not, it's better to reduce speed from say, 120 kph to 100. The lower speed results in an increased ability on my part to see things that are hard to see because of the dark. If its raining I reduce even farther down to 90. This is especially helpful in seeing pedestrians crossing the road.

When cruising on water in the road, if we turn sharply or make hard braking stops this indicates that we were not sufficiently focused or that we failed to anticipate what lay ahead. Making such sudden moves when our contact with the surface is not secure will probably lead to a crash.

We must remember that during dry periods vehicles are constantly dropping little bits of oil. This builds up over time and when it rains water is added to oil. That's a cocktail that should be avoided at all costs; but we are unable to avoid it. Perhaps as much as the first half hour of the first rain is washing away the residue of the oil into the gutter. While that is happening we face the worst of conditions.

One final point to be aware of: Sometimes we see ahead a nice large pool of water. Wouldn't it be nice to drive into that and make a really nice splash. There are no pedestrians around to drown, so go for it! Not! We may find that we totally lose control and the weight of the water swings the car out of control, even flipping it over. I resist the temptation, as difficult as that is, because that little kid in me sometimes get the better of me.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Creative "Accidents"

While out driving yesterday I came across a very peculiar scene of a car that was lying at rest on the top of the guard railing, upright, facing frontwards with its hind quarters resting against the embankment behind . There was virtually no damage to the railing, and the bend was so slight that Lewis Hamilton could have taken it at 300 kph.

How on earth was that possible? There were two middle age women sitting beside the road waiting for assistance, but I'm sure if I asked them how they were able to do that they wouldn't have a clue.

That's the third car I have come across sitting on the rails, and for only one was it evident how it got there. That one simply drove itself up the rail as the driver must have been distracted. The car had gone off the tarmac, and just before reaching a ravine it caught the rail with the left-side front and back wheels. Somehow, these became wedged leaving the right side of the car suspended out over the ravine.

I think the occupants of that car have spoken of this incident every day, even if only to themselves as that  would definitely have got their attention.

The other car I saw sitting on the railings was a station wagon. The railings were dividing the centre of opposing lanes of traffic, with oleander trees planted in between. Somehow this car had got itself up and across the railings where it sat snugly. The railing on my side was undamaged but I couldn't see the other side. Fortunately the car sat so that it didn't impede traffic on either side. A family sat huddled and terrified in among the oleanders awaiting assistance.

How did the do it? I feel sure that if I Google "strange accidents" there would turn up lots of other examples. I must do that one day.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Women who Wait

This is a sad story about Spain's prostitutes who sit and wait along the highways and Roundabouts. They are engaged in the oldest profession in the world, and as adult women, if they are making a free choice about what to do with their bodies, then I suppose I have nothing to say about it. However, it is a peculiar choice of work.

If the woman is having to do this kind of thing because she just cannot find any type of regular employment, while I cannot condemn her for doing so it adds to the sadness of this lifestyle.

If she is a drug junkie and has to sell her body for her next fix, then that too is sad. Of course, the message to young women everywhere is that you avoid finding yourself in this situation by not touching drugs in the first place.

If she is keeping all of her earnings that is one mitigating factor, but in reality she most likely has to pay for protection, and worse she probably is being run by a pimp. That is a serious no-no! It happens more often than not.

One day, while leaving Denia before twelve noon I passed several ladies waiting patiently beside the N-332. I'm told that they are always there, day and night and it is obvious that they are not waiting for the bus.  By simply being there they were not contributing anything at all to the dignity of women.

There was one young woman who was dressed in shorts and blouse tied at the waist. She looked quite smart and she was dancing to the sounds from her headphones, while accentuating her ample positive assets. It was before anybody had sat down to lunch, so I ask myself, did she really expect me, as a passing male motorist to stop and give her trade at that time of day?

What was I supposed to want from her that early in the day? Where would we go to discuss whatever it was that I was supposed to want from her in the middle of the heat of the day? Why was she on duty at that peculiar hour? Might she have been a single mother who had packed the children off to school and taken herself to work hoping to earn some money for the household? That's a sad possibility. I suppose she could also be a married woman who is trying to earn some extra money while getting to indulge herself in some passing trade; but I imagine that is a lot less likely.

I imagine when you are offering your very body for sex purposes and a whole day passes and no-one wants you, that must be the ultimate in depression. It's bad enough when you are cruising to meet someone whom you would like to make your permanent partner and you get not one nibble, that has to get you down, but that is a whole world removed from the kind of rejection of the prostitute.

I think that the government recognises that two people will always find a way to hook up. The best that can be hoped for is that such activity is removed from the sight of the general public.

The government of Valencia City passed a law that prohibits fornicating in the street and other public places. Why would they do that? They did it to stop people who had been carrying on in this manner.

You would have thought it obvious that such activity would be way out of order, but noooooooooo!

As though we drivers didn't already have enough to distract us.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

A Death of The Family

One of the saddest stories of the Summer was the death of an entire family on the road that was caused, it is thought by a distraction in the family car. That led to a head-on crash with an on-coming van.

During holiday times we all set out to enjoy ourselves while on a journey of discovery. However, when we load up the car with the entire family we increase the risk to the maximum upon everyone in the family that something horrible could happen.

I don't know whether the car ran into the van, or vice-versa. I have no real idea of what was the cause of these two vehicles meeting head-on, so my comments can only be made in a general sense.

Firstly, a note that applies to all drivers: your car is not your living room, which of course you know; therefore when driving a different form of conduct is required.

Things can change so quickly when in motion that we really do need to keep our eyes glued to the lane in front of us, as well as being aware of what is happening around us.

Common sense tells us that when we get behind the wheel our bodily systems should be free from anything that will impair our judgement. When we have our family in the car this becomes absolute.

Children find having to sit still while the car is moving terribly boring. The parent who is a passenger can deal with them. The driver has to remain fixed in his or her concentration. As an example;  a large 4X4 came up behind me with a little girl who was not strapped in. The girl was distracting her mother as she drove, who suddenly realised that I had stopped at a pedestrian crossing to let the pedestrian cross.

The mother slammed on her brakes, and (fortunately) the little girl was thrown into the fascia of the car. Fortunately, because she could have been thrown out the car through the windshield.

In a column at the start of the Summer I pointed out that sleepiness while driving is probably responsible for more deaths on the road than we know. I had an experience that further underscores this thought: on one of the hotter days I had been running a couple of errands, and after lunch I was on my way home. The combination of the hot wind, (I don't have air-conditioning) and my lunch was very calming. I began to feel the effects, but I was close to home so I continued. Wrong decision!

At that stretch there was no other traffic on the road, when I closed my eyes without realising and the car touched the white line rumble strip along the side of the road. That promptly woke me up. (That is what it is there for.)

What I should have done when I felt the first effects coming on was to have immediately turned off the road and found somewhere where I could have slept it off. It really is that important!

Congratulations to those of us who survived the Summer driving season, especially if we have no injuries. I've learned from my own experience. I can only hope it might make an impression on you too.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Summer's Done in Spain

When the season of Summer comes to an end we usually take stock of how things turned out by including such considerations as how many tourists visited Spain; how many fires raged over the hot and dry landscape; and, unfortunately how many people died on the roads?

The answer to that last question is, 253 people made their transition from this life to the next, most prematurely. Along with a growing mass of people I believe that when we die we are simply entering through the portal of death to begin life anew, so that is not a bad thing. However, it's one thing to live a full rich life and to complete all of your major projects, and quite another to die simply because you got in your car to run an errand.

Those 253 people will probably account for 25% of the total deaths on the road for the year in Spain. A lot of families have been left devastated, which is something drivers should think about before getting in their cars while drunk. However, while it is true that in some small communities around the world there are no road deaths, in major countries there always will be a significant number of people who die, often at their own hand.

I tend to look at such statistics as part of the total number of people alive on the planet. I see that seven billion plus people are placing a severe strain on Earth's resources and when especially large numbers of people are killed, that is a part of a continuous process of the culling of our species.

Like everything else about life we still have choices. We can choose to be reasonable or reckless. We can choose to treat ourselves in a healthy manner or we can choose to stuff our bodies with poisons and trash. I was given a maximum life expectancy of 47 years when I was born, along with every male who was born in the same year in my country. A vast majority of those people did die young, but I am approaching my 77th birthday. I chose to change my lifestyle, and I was the recipient of the motherlode of good luck.

I will continue to make my contributions toward a long life. How about you? There were 253 people who actually died, but how about all those other people who were injured, some who will have to live with life changing effects for the rest of their lives.

Buckle up; drive soberly and with due care; don't drive when you need to sleep, and absent recklessness and unnecessary speed. You and I just might get to approach the magic 100 mark.

Good luck!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The long, hot and lovely days of Summer driving

I had driven into the next town from my own to run some errands, and when preparing to return home I thought, what a glorious day this is for a drive in the country. The car was running perfectly, the roads were near deserted and so, instead of driving the thirteen kilometres home I went the long way round.

For the past two years the main road to a town to the West of  us has been closed for improvements. It was opened just before the August vacations, so of course I had to go and investigate what had been done.

There are roads that empty onto main roads that are paved and I've always wondered from where do they come? Time to take a run along those roads and I find that another entrance I have been passing for many years provides the other end of the mystery.

Newspaper headlines have been reporting that the dams are running very low on water. So I took a run up to see for myself. I wish now I didn't do that because they are worryingly low to the extent that I am feeling guilty about giving water to my garden.

It is amazing how quickly Britain imposes a hose pipe ban should there be an absence of rain for some small period of time. Habitually it does not rain in Spain during the Summer but there is no order against me filling my pool.

When doing a run of curiosity  like this I discover a lot of useless information for the time being, but one day I'll have to find someone's house and realise I know exactly where it is.

These are indeed the somewhat hazy, and very lazy days of Summer that will had gone before we know it. Yes, it is hot to the point of being uncomfortable in that it actually stings to be in the full sun. However, it is my favourite time of year in Spain, and when it gets too hot to bear we can always visit friends and family in England.

That will bring our temperatures down considerably and we will be back to reality. Bless you Britain!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

What a difference a Country makes

For the past two weeks I have been driving on the left side of the road in the U.K. I lived the majority of my life in Bermuda where we drive on the left, so this was no great challenge to me; except that for the past seventeen years I have been living in Spain. Naturally that means I have been driving on the right side of the road. Whenever I visit the U.K. I have the same problem, and it is a real problem because one mistake is usually enough to end my life; and worse I could end someone else's life.

I did make two of those mistakes but became aware immediately without endangering anyone else. However, the major difference I had to get accustomed to was road courtesy. We don't usually practise that form of inter-personal behaviour  here, so the first time someone extended courtesy to me, in the car rental yard I was a little confused. What was he doing? He then waved me on, as to say, "after you." Oh! I remember this. The proper response was to ensure that I indicated "Thank You," and to be sure he got that message.

That was how I grew up in my driving life. British road rage comes from someone extending a courtesy and not being acknowledged. That is so understandable, so I was careful.

We attended a wedding and reception. As usual my wife drove there and I drove us home, being the designated driver. I drank only soft beverages. On the way home we passed a police patrol car that had pulled off the road to observe passing traffic. They were stopped in a well lit area. My car lights were set on automatic so that during the day when we drove into well shaded areas the lights would automatically turn on. The car decided that this night, because the area was so well lit it would turn the lights off just as the police took a look at us.

Sure enough, they came screaming after us. You were driving without lights. Eh? We soon discovered what had happened. At night we should switch the lights to permanently on mode.

This brings up the question of what happens when we are being driven in a autonomously driven car. Why challenge me about what the car was doing. I'm not driving. In fact, I'm drunk!

Where have you come from? A wedding reception. Have you been drinking? My wife said she had, I said I was the designated driver and had no alcohol. The officer said he could not smell any alcohol, so we were free to go.

The thing is that at the reception a glass of wine was poured for me and it sat in front of me all through dinner and tempted me terribly. At one point I actually took a sip, then thought better of it.

Being the designated driver is serious business, with the police being the least of our worries. The roadways are dangerous enough when we're stone cold sober.

It's like I say: What a difference a country makes!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Those Charming British Country Lanes

I have a king-sized bed that is wider than those country lanes, which I think are suitable for one-way cycle traffic, but no, they carry two-way traffic consisting of motorcycles and cars, and trucks and busses, and uber-sized tractors.

I don't understand this because on both sides there are acres and acres of wide open land to widen the road and straighten out the curves. If all of the locals were as cautious as I am and drove at 10 miles per hour it wouldn't be so bad, but no, they fly around as though they were on the motorway.

I would  really like to describe my feelings when we came face to face with a massive John Deere tractor, but words will probably fail me. The tractor was emerging onto the lane from the fields and the driver apparently had no intention of stopping. At the last minute he saw us and stopped short. Given that he sits so high up I thought he could see for miles around, but he stopped so close to the car I near had a heart attack.

This seems like such an invitation for trouble that I seriously wonder why, in these modern times the situation has not been corrected?  There is tradition and custom sure, but we are talking about life and death, or at the least injury and property damage. I would have preferred not to have travelled along these paths but you don't get much choice. To get from A to B that's all there is. I'm back home now and I am able to uncurl my toes and relax my ass muscles, but I'll bet I lost several years due to the stress.

The irony is that these lanes exists in some of Britain's most beautiful countryside. It's a shame I couldn't fully enjoy the beauty without feeling certain I was about to die


Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Spain of the Mountains

There is that Spain that consists of the low lands that makes driving so very easy. We still manage to kill ourselves and one another on the roads when often we drive along straight open stretches with perfect visibility.

The people of the low lands are a breed unto ourselves. We take Nature for granted. We seem to think nothing of throwing our trash on the ground, and we have to be encouraged to treat the environment with kindness. Except for those people who make a special effort to walk or cycle, (probably because they have had exposure to the mountains) the rest of us want door-to-door car service. Even those of us who live in the country outside of towns and cities, with grand views of the mountains are spoiled. My wife and I live in what I like to describe as an orange tree forest. As far as the eye can see there are orange trees, interspersed with olive trees, and in the background there are the mountain ranges. Beautiful! We are so lucky, but what we have is just a taster of what the other Spain is like.

To experience the high country we have to go to the Spanish Pyrenees. This is the part of the country that takes us up to approximately 3,355+ metres or 11,007 feet above sea level. At that level the air is very light indeed and the going gets tough. This changes everything. The respect of humans changes to realise that in this district man is not king. We have to conduct ourselves with care and concern for the environment and for our own safety.

Starting with driving, those roads that we are so accustomed to simply disappear. The roads become twisting and winding and narrow. However, we still encounter large busses and mega-trucks. It is bad enough when a small car meets one of those beasts. I have no idea what happens when they meet one another on a bend.

Focus is everything. Keep your focus on the road ahead at all times. If you are having a conversation with a passenger sitting beside you, not for one second can you safely take your eyes off the road ahead to look in his direction. I experienced uphill gradients that are rarely encountered, and of course, on the other side there are downhill hairpin twists and turns on unpaved tracks. If your are moving just a little too fast and you slip and slide, that will likely be the end for you.

Our base was the small town of Broto where our son lives and works as a mountain guide. His idea of going for a hike often means going straight up the side of the mountain. We are suitably impressed by the skills he has trained for and acquired, and his knowledge of the mountain is truly encyclopaedic.

As a city slicker I always thought that a mountain is a mountain and once you have seen one, you've seen them all. However, from afar that may be so, but in reality they each have their own special characteristics. Mountains, including waterfalls and lakes and running rivers all represent some of Mother Nature's finest work. To go into these areas means that we should be prepared to be awed by the natural beauty of the natural world.

Expect the best from nature; take photos and leave only footprints; (make no trash) and take care of yourselves.

This advice is extended to all other city slickers like me. The people of the mountains live like this.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Those Hazard Lights

I have this to ask of every car manufacturer: If you are not already doing so, (most of you are not)please consider very carefully placing the button that operates the hazard lights somewhere that we drivers can find it without having to take our eyes away from the situation that is developing and forcing us to stop.

Now, as it is there suddenly develops a situation in front of us that requires us to suddenly stop and to quickly inform the traffic behind us of the danger. We dare not take our focus away from what is happening ahead, but we have to find that damn red triangle button. Most people, I guess react out of  great alarm and we find ourselves scrambling to find the button to activate those four lights.

The past three times I have needed to warn other traffic, in spite of knowing generally where the button is I still failed to locate it on a timely basis without losing my focus. If it is situated on the dashboard to the side of the steering wheel that's no good. If it is placed down on the part near the gear shift, no good because I have to look down. It can't be on the steering wheel because that moves, but perhaps if it were located directly above the steering wheel on the ceiling, or on the dashboard directly in front of the steering wheel I could find it without losing sight of the traffic in front of me.

This is a problem that has existed since motor vehicles were first created. Surely this is one that engineers can design for most efficient usage.

Hope to be able to benefit from more creative thinking on this subject soon.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Some encouraging statistics to live by

It seems drivers on Spanish roads have some relatively good news to celebrate. Deaths on our road system suffered the lowest number since records began in 1960. A total of 1,126 people lost their lives during 2015. The total for 1960 was 1,300. However there were only One million vehicles in all of Spain's roads during that year. Now there are 31 million, so had there been no improvement in our roads system, and had not there been any appreciable improvement in driver care and attention the figure would have been 40,300.

But there have been improvements. Things got a lot worse before getting better. The turning point came, not because drivers realised that if we didn't perform better we would lose our lives, but because the government introduced the points system. Suddenly no-one wanted to lose any points, so from that point onwards there has been a steady decline, except for one year when the number has fallen to the present level.

The report does not tell us what the percentage of young drivers in the 18-34age bracket were that died, but presumably it was 43%, or 476; because it was 19% or 211 in the bracket 35-44. The next bracket, 45-54 the result was 16% or 184; and in the top age bracket it was 22% or 255. So it appears that the two worst brackets are the young drivers and the old ones.

The Dgt are now considering putting forward suggestions for placing limitations upon older drivers who naturally lose some of their concentration as they age.

It comes as no surprise that male deaths account for 79%, while a pleasant surprise is that female losses actually declined by 14% over the previous year.

An instructive statistic is that fully 22% of persons who died did so because they were not wearing their seatbelts. There can be no excuse for this. It is a reflex action to simply cross over the belt and click it into it's lock. If we don't do this it has to be believed to be a deliberate choice because you have a death complex. Therefore, if you do die the cause must surely be one of suicide.

Drive safely, and buckle up!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Vacation Driving

We have now entered that most dangerous time of year on the roads. Driving for our Vacations. This is when we load up the car with the whole family and head for the hills or the beach. We are trying to leave all thoughts of terrorism behind and hopefully to take our families somewhere safe to relax and enjoy one another.

This is an appeal to common sense drivers, because all too often the driver, who is charged with getting everyone there and back safely, becomes the terrorist himself or herself. If we drink alcohol, or drive after a heavy meal, or allow ourselves to become distracted; and especially is we don't stop when we start to feel drowsy we can inflict more damage on the whole family than any terrorist.

The Number One killer on the road during vacation time is closing our eyes due to tiredness. It can strike at any time of day or night. Long straight roads are boring, and boredom leads to tiredness and you only need to close your eyes once. You will most probably never open them again.

So, stay sober and off any type of thing that may impair your judgement, and above all, stay awake!

Live to vacation again next year.

Good luck!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Car Marketing

Why make a car that is capable of reaching speeds of 275 km/h? Where you going to get up to such speeds driving normally?

Why make a car with a sunroof? On a bright and sunny day when you roll back the top you start to bake. After five minutes you no longer can take it so you close it again. Why?

Why make a convertible car where the whole top comes off. When the top is on and the car is parked it is also locked. With the top off,  the car is open to the world, and if it should rain while you are in a building that will be an authentic disaster. Why do we do these things?

It's all about marketing!

We keep talking about how fast the car can go from 0-60. This is important when you are trying to enter the motorway and you need to get ahead of the lorry that is thundering down on you. Then you need acceleration and it's great fun to both the car driver and the trucker to see you get ahead and be reduced to a mere dot on the horizon in 2.5 seconds. However, to do that you have to have a clear road ahead and you will be breaking the speed laws.

Otherwise, the legal limit remains at 120 km/h, so why do we need twice as much capacity? The answer is, we don't. The trouble is that some drivers who have excrement where their brains are supposed to be do try and reach such speeds along roads that are being used by other traffic. These are drivers trying to commit suicide.

The only real use I find for my sunroof is that I can park the car and leave the roof in the flipped up position which allows the heat that would normally build in the car to escape. Other than that, if I want the wind to flow through the car while moving I can simply open the window panes on the doors while staying cool.

There was a time when the idea of the convertible was very attractive. That was before we actually owned such a car and discovered for ourselves all the many problems that come along with driving around with the top down. The idea lost favour to the extent that these days you have to be someone who just wants to be different by owning one. That's fine!

While we are on the subject of marketing it's worth a look at the 4X4 phenomena. I'm willing to bet that 99.999% of all 4X4 vehicles have never been anywhere near such appropriate terrain. Most are such sparkling and delightful cars that we even hate to drive through puddles in the street, let alone the mud of the off-road territory. However, the thing they are best at is giving defense against other lesser machines, especially when carrying children, which is probably why so many mothers on the school run drive them.

Strange then that nothing is said in the marketing for these vehicles about their efficacy in protecting the vulnerable occupants. That would actually be marketing that made good sense. No matter, the mothers figured it out for themselves, which gives new meaning to, "Mother knows Best!"

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The man without a Brain

This week I suffered at the hands of a man who has excrement where his brain is supposed to be.

We were driving along a three lane one-way system. I was in the middle lane overtaking the car on my right as he was preparing to exit when a car passed me to my left, only to immediately slow down and cut across myself and the car next to me, because he too wanted to use the exit. Both I and the other driver had to touch our brakes because of that jerk.

As I passed him I could see that he was about 45, wearing a white shirt and tie, looking smug and calm as though he had not just done the unforgivable. He knew he wanted to exit the highway, so why did he not simply get in lane to make the move by joining the line of cars that were exiting. No, he had to overtake those cars and undertake a dangerous move that put him a few cars ahead.

Bastard!

He was driving an Audi, and I suppose he holds a post that involves responsibility. On the road he is a complete lunatic, and I think that Karma will catch up with him one day, making him just another statistic. I only hope that he doesn't take someone innocent with him.

When it does happen I will not waste any sympathy on him. The way I felt at the time I would have gladly permanently hastened his exit from the roads.

I should not let people like that get to me. I can only wish for the day when all humans will not have the option to drive.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Motoring Clubs

I have been focusing on the unexplained need to form and join a club if you own a car or motorbike. Within the United Kingdom there are thousands of clubs, of which I have been a member of two.

I have been a member of Essex Goldwings Club, and during my time with the club I thoroughly enjoyed trips out when 500 thundering bikes would go on a run. Normally we would have police escorts to manage such a large group, which could have been a lot worse because there a thousands of Goldwing enthusiasts about.

Now, I no longer have the bike, which became too heavy for me. I now drive a Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign which is one of the classics of the Jaguar line. For those people who live within a reasonable radius of their club's head office they have built a complete life-style around their cars. We see them often pictured at a stop for lunch. Everybody always looks so happy.

What is the psychology involved in forming car clubs? In the U.K. there are classic car clubs that involve many brands; and then there are specific brand name clubs where owners celebrate the quality workmanship that has gone into their beloved machine. These machines, whether motorcycles or cars or trucks are the genius of other people, but we find ourselves tenderly caressing them with great pride.  All we have to do is just watch a person when they are cleaning their vehicle and we will see how lovingly and protectively we go about the task at hand.

I often say that we men should treat our women with even a percentage of the tender loving care we reserve for our automobiles and we would be well appreciated. Its as though when we buy a particular brand of car we become a member of that tribe. I certainly think that some Volvo drivers let the side down. They are few in number, and that's a good thing because I expect a certain decorum from my fellow Volvo drivers.

In thinking about this I see that communities build together in many ways. People buy and wear apparel that is made by this or that designer. In doing so we often try to set ourselves apart and above  the ordinary consumer. When I say that I am a member of the Jaguar Enthusiast Club, am I suggesting that I am above the Ford Owners Club of America; or do I feel the next level to reach is that of member of the Maserati Member's Circle?

I'm sure that some of this is inspired, and even funded by commercial interests. After all, group activity drives brand loyalty, and that brings in even more buyers and members, but on the whole it does seem to be a thing in general that we need to belong.

Perhaps I'm overthinking the subject. No-one else seems to be guilty of doing that. They just belong and are happy that they do.

I'll let you know when I enter the Maserati circle.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Beware the driver at the red light

The philosophy of anticipation really does pay off when driving. Being focused not only means alert to what the other driver is doing, but also to what he may do unexpectedly. This has saved my bacon on so many occasions that I am really thankful to have learnt this lesson long ago.

At crossroads with traffic lights, there is in addition to the lights a Stop sign on a pole, and a painted stop sign on the road. In case of a failure on the part of the lights, which take precedent over all, except a policeman in charge of directing traffic, then the stop sign on the pole should be adhered to.

Should the lights have failed to work; and in case the stop sign on a pole not be there because somebody knocked it down, then the painted sign on the road is the last authority.

If you sat through the Rules of the Spanish Road you would have learnt that. The problem is that not everybody driving in Spain today took an exam, including those who are driving without a permit. Therefore, at such a junction they may become confused, as did a man who was at the head of the line at a red light. When the light turned to green he moved off, then promptly stopped when he reached the stop sign on the pole.

That sort of thing really makes one clinch one's buttocks because you are just not expecting it. Fortunately, I had to shift into gear when he apparently had an automatic, so he stopped just as I started. I hit my horn hard, followed by a chorus behind me that led him to spin his wheels hard as he took off.

I'm sure this type of thing only happens once in a while, but because no-one expects it the potential for causing a real mess is great. As long as every driver is focused and patient the probability of a crash is lessened, but that depends on every driver doing his bit.

As for the super cautious driver, this is a classic case of causing a problem by being overly cautious.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

I too, have a dream.

My dream, in comparison to the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King's dream, is downright silly. But I have had this dream for such a long time it gets it gravitas from its longevity.

I like cars. Especially cars that are rare in their appearance on the road. Here in Spain I drive a Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign. This is the classic look of Jaguar, and most times when I take the car out I never see another one. Recently I drove from Valencia to Alicante and back and I was the only Sovereign on the road. Naturally that gets a lot of looks.

My other car is an old Volvo 850 which is becoming nearly extinct on its own. Apart from the fact that I have better uses for the cost of a new car at the moment, the Volvo does my daily heavy lifting without complaint. It is such a well built car, totally reliable and as comfortable as an old slipper. When the time times I will hate to get rid of it; unless I replace it with either a Mercedes S class, or even better, a Maserati.

The thing is that I was idly walking about a secondhand lot recently when I came across a 23 year old all-white Mercedes S class, that had evidently been well taken care of because it looked in showroom condition. It was for sale at 3,000 euros! The fact that it was twenty-three years old is not necessarily a blow against it because that car will go on for another 23 years, but its care and maintenance will be costly. That is a rich man's car, and a man who is that rich wants a new S class. Consequently, it's probably still on the lot: and I'm still dreaming about it.

What I need to do is make a lot of money and then I can take my pick, or perhaps simply have all three cars, Jaguar, Mercedes and Maserati. However, to work hard to earn the money in the first place just to own three top level cars does seem silly in the extreme.

Still, I can dream, can't I?

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

What are they thinking?

Lately I have noticed behaviour by some drivers that had largely been absent for some time. They have not only been acting completely without responsibility , but they seem to be trying to provoke disastrous consequences in the fashion of terrorists of the road. Here are some of the things I have observed lately:

At a major junction along one of the avenues in the city of Valencia with two lanes, which I will call (A) cross (heading north) where about six lanes of traffic (B) line up to filter down into two lanes heading east. It is vital that all northbound traffic be stopped when the east bound traffic begin to move, and of course, vice-versa. One absolute imbecile from the north bound traffic drove straight across all that mass of cars as they began to move. How the biggest pile up of cars and vans was avoided is anyone's guess. That driver should have been stopped and slapped around the ears until he got some sense knocked into his head. Then his car should have been taken from him, forever.

Traffic was stopped at a red light on a very large roundabout. Up comes a white van from behind that skirted around the cars that were stopped only to run the red light and carried on until he had to stop at the next red light as there was no way around. He needed to have been hauled out of the cab and persuaded that such behaviour is not acceptable.

I was driving in the city with my car loaded with children and adults. I needed to make a lane change to the left. I was signalling to traffic behind me. They could have given me the second I needed but no, they were all deliberately speeding up to overtake me. What were they thinking? Had I tried to enforce the change there would have been a crash. Then I would have heard from those same shit for brains idiots that it was my fault.

A car being driven by a driver who was clearly feeling his way turned into a one-way street, ignoring the Do Not Enter sign, and the fact that cars parked on both sides were all facing him. He drove to the end of the block and forced a car entering the street to stop and back up. What was he thinking? He wasn't!

The winners of this contest in stupidity were the three speeding cars that overtook me on a hill where they could not have known if there was traffic coming the other way, or not. Had there been one single car or truck coming towards them I shudder to think what would have happened. That would not have classified as an accident because they must have had an agenda to make as much of a mess as was possible. 

Vehicles that drive themselves will eliminate such human craziness and irresponsibility. Having such wonderful machines to move around in is one of the perks of living in our modern age. The only thing wrong is the human factor.

How sad is that?

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

A disaster just waiting to happen

This is May 14th, 2016.  Yesterday was Friday the 13th, the day when at least one very sick end demented person thought he, or she would set a light to millions of used tyres in an open dump, I suppose to get a thrill.

If authorities do bring that person to justice the first thing that should be done, in my opinion is that he or she should be soundly whipped.

The scene of this crime is just outside the town of Seseña, Toledo, Spain. That is located so close to the capital city of Madrid that the fire can be clearly seen from Madrid. The problem is that we motorists have to change our tyres regularly, and once changed we simply drive off leaving the old tyres with the garage. Apparently, we also leave them with a major problem that gets passed on down along the line where they end up out in the open in the baking sun. There are so many of them and the pile just gets bigger and bigger. Unfortunately, this is a disaster just waiting to happen, either as a result of a lightning  strike, or the dump becomes too much of a temptation for some lunatic.

Clearly no-one has come up with an efficient means of disposal that is kind to the environment. Some tires are re-treaded but that is just putting off the problem until later. As a product a tyre does an essential job, but add fire to it and a potent health hazard is created. This present dump consisted of millions of discarded tyres and that has led to one enormous fire. For that reason more than 9000 people have had to be evacuated and a warning given to those nearby, including the city of Madrid.

Not only will it be poisonous but the smell must be overwhelming. Tyre dump fires are notoriously difficult to knockdown. One of the worst such fires took place at Rhinehart, northern Virginia in America on October 3, 1983. That dump held some seven million tyres and produced a plume of smoke that rose more than 3,000 feet, and spread pollutants over 50 miles downwind. It burned for a full nine months! That is hard to take in. I can't imagine what that would have been like for the neighbours.

To think that this fire was caused deliberately. Not only should the culprit be whipped he should be whipped by all those so horribly affected, one at a time.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Cameroon by river and dream

My blog today is a bit surreal because I had a dream sequence last night that was so pleasant that I arose and sat down immediately to relate it before I forgot it. It was one of those dreams that seem to go on forever, and because it was so exciting I stayed in bed long after I intended to arise.

I should explain that I am deeply involved in Cameroon as the treasurer of a small charity that has operated there over the past 17 years. We have been principally concerned with providing high quality education in The Extreme North of the country. I last visited in 2000.

My dream was that I returned with a group to take an expedition to trace the footsteps of the Portuguese explorers who are responsible for the country's name.

In the 15th century those explorers accidentally discovered that the rivers of the country were teeming with shrimp. They called one of the rivers: Rio dos Camaróes, or Shrimp River. This translated to Cameroon river in English, and Cameroun in French. The name has continued unto today.

In my dream I arrived in the country at Douala airport. Douala is located on the Southwest corner and serves as the country's economic capital and its chief seaport. In the market I bought a cored out tree which would be a two-person boat. We then boarded a train that would take us through jungle to the end of the line in the high plateau town of Ngaoundéré located in Adamouwa province. From there we would float downstream through the rivers Ntem, Nyong, Sanaga, and into the Wouri, back to Douala.

Once we entered the river we were totally committed because the rivers run through jungle that is teeming with wildlife, and that included colonies of pygmies who live completely isolated lives. My dream was free from any tragedies, and I could even smell the rivers as I slept.

For many years there has taken place the most extraordinary ritual performed by a man who has befriended a pod of hippos. The man walks out to meet them and takes them food. As gently as can be the hippos receive this food without making the mistake of taking him as well. I can only hope that he survives unto today. In my dream he was at his post as we slipped silently on past, observing this incredible sight.

We had no problem in finding the source of the name of the country as the rivers were all alive with shrimp. However, in real life I am allergic to shell-fish, so this was a case of shrimp, shrimp all around and nothing for me to eat.

When I finally awoke I was surprised and disappointed to find myself in bed. Normally our dreams are not remembered once we awake, but this was just too damn good not to commit to the written word.

This has been special to me as I have the feeling that my ancestors came from this very country, located on the West coast of Africa where a number of slaves were brought across the Atlantic. Maybe the takeaway from this dream is for me to make a return to my ancestral home soon.

When I do that I will record the experience in my blogs, of course.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Uber Road Rage

Here in Spain we have recorded one of the worst cases of road rage there is. It seems that a car driven by a Moroccan man clipped a BMW driven by an off-duty police officer. Unfortunately the driver did not stop. He was chased by the officer who eventually caught up with him, and in a fit of rage put five bullets in the man's head.

I heard somewhere that the first two seconds following an incident are critical in determining what your response should be. I learnt that a long time ago and I have used it since and it has served me well.

First I turn to ice. I let all the energy go out from me while I consider even what has happened. Someone does something that is dangerous or stupid, or that causes inconvenience to me, and I turn cold and allow for developments to take place and I respond appropriately towards resolving the problem. No, it's not easy to control my temper, but somehow I manage until after its all over. Then I go off by myself and stump and swear. The other thing that I do which is even more important is to anticipate what people will do.

As a result I find that I am able to avoid a lot of situations that could flare into confrontations. It's amazing how predictable people can be. For instance, let's say that I am  following a car that indicates that it is taking the next exit. I could choose to then increase my speed now that he is out of the way, but I have seen so many drivers have last minute change of mind. They really intend to take the following exit, so what do they do? They re-enter the motorway, and in doing so they would run the risk of colliding with me.

So, I usually hold my speed while keeping an eye on that car for any sign of a change of mind. I also conduct myself in the full knowledge that other people are using the roads and I place my car where is should be before I see the oncoming vehicle. In doing so that avoids last minute emergency movements.

There can be no excuse for killing a person because of a minor incident. The offending driver should have stopped and sorted out the situation, but equally his actions did not merit a death sentence.

Two people's lives irretrievably damaged and lost because neither considered the two-second rule.

What a shame!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The perils of Underground Parking

I drove my Jaguar Sovereign into an underground parking garage and I parked it with some thought in mind, but evidently not nearly enough. My car is a long-wheel base and the garage was one long strip room which was probably fine for short cars, but the problem for long cars is that once you are parked with cars on both sides of you it becomes nearly impossible to leave your space and make the turn to move to the exit.

It took me nearly twenty minutes to get out of my spot with the help of two other people which I fortunately was able to do without scratching the other car or mine.

Next time I will have to be certain that I not only park properly but also that I can get out when other cars come and park next to me.

Something to keep in mind.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Some fascinating road facts

I am a retired Insurance Accountant/Insurance company manager. It will be interesting to bear that in mind.

The Association of motor insurers of Spain deem women to be superior drivers based on the lack of claims. Women are safer drivers because they lack the testosterone in their systems to mix with gasoline that we men are afflicted with. Without that mix they usually have no need to prove how cool they are by doing donuts and they are only rarely found to be speed demons. When a driver is showing off and doing totally stupid things it's because he is trying to impress a woman.

 

So, in spite of all the jokes we men make about women drivers, jokes that are made to cover up our own failings, women turn out to be better drivers than men.

When it comes to the general ratings as to which class of professional driver rates worst and which is best, apparently at the very top of the worst class are we bloody accountants. According to an article I picked up in the Costa News of Spain, in Britain accountants are responsible for about 16,000 claims each year, which is approximately 44 every day. Wow! Why on earth would that be?

I know that we usually carry around in our heads lots of facts and figures, and we're always cross-checking something or the other, but to such an extent that we take our concentration off the road surprises me a lot. For instance, as an accountant I think I am just the opposite. I drive with anticipation of what the other person is likely to do so that I can be ready. It's amazing how right I am, and as a result I have avoided so many crashes because I was ready.

It's hardly likely that accountants drive like lunatics, or on drink or drugs as we accountants tend to be boringly responsible. We are your bankers, (oops!) and insurance company officers, and auditors, and company CEO's and CFO's and billionaires and investment managers, etc.

However, it's important to note that not too far behind accountants are the lawyers who present about 15,000 claims a year. I hope none of you lawyers were laughing at the position we accountants find ourselves in. Amidst the lawyer crowd are to be found the magistrates and judges who would look sternly upon we accountants while pronouncing sentencing for our roles in causing car crashes. They might even tut while declaring how disappointed they are in us.

As if to make matters unnecessarily worse, third in line for these unenviable awards come the doctors. The suggestion is made that they do so badly on the road because they spend all their efforts in doing well in their place of work. These are the very people whom we rely on to redress the wrongs that we do on the road by making whole the people we injure. However, their record on the road is not that enviable either.

The article goes on to say that within the list of worst drivers are also found financial advisors, real estate agents, airline cabin crew and pharmacists. Blimey! This sounds like a case for a major study to determine just what is going on here, especially when we consider that roofers were the group with the best record, followed by farm workers, builders, lorry drivers, cleaners, carpet fitters and butchers.

Definitely there is a pressing need to delve deeply in this mystery. Just leaving things at the statistics stage is not good enough, in spite of the fact that as an accountant I love statistics.

Copyright (c) 2016

Eugene Carmichael

Post Easter driving

Driving at peak times should be avoided as though it were some kind of plague. we have taken a couple of holiday road trips, but we have always left the day before, or very late on the day when everyone starts their journey. That has worked well, leaving us with normal driving conditions. However, on one of those journeys we ended up returning with everyone else. It was not pleasant. In fact, it was really dangerous and super stressful.

This past Easter our son had to leave on the same day as the rest of the country took to the roads because he had a long journey with commitments at his destination. He loaded his car with his things because he was moving, and that gave added weight to the car, as though he was carrying three or four passengers.

He was aware of the need to keep an appropriate distance between his car and the one ahead of him. The problem is that when you try to do that at peak times another car is inserted in that space, so its almost impossible to maintain proper distance.

Traffic was moving along at about 100 kph when suddenly up ahead there was a crash and all traffic came to an abrupt halt. He almost had enough space to stop safely, but not quite enough. He hit the car in front of him once and that car was propelled into the car in front of it. His car was heavy compared to the car he hit. It took three tow trucks to clear the scene but everybody walked away.

When a member of the family is involved in something like that it comes home to everyone. However, in his case there was not drink or drugs or excessive speed involved. If you hit someone from behind you are automatically deemed to be at least negligent for not having kept your distance. He was given a ticket for that, and ironically so was the driver he hit for the same thing for running into the car ahead of him. The proximate cause of their crash was the original one, so those tickets may be annulled.

In my case I had to crawl along with all lanes nose to tail for over three hours, something I will go to extreme measures to avoid in the future, even if I have to stay home.

The moral of the story is to avoid being a part of the problem, no matter what you need to do.

Copyright (c) 2016

Eugene Carmichael

An Awful Easter on the Road

Easter on the road is not over yet and already thirty-six people have lost their lives. This is already eleven more than last year. When so many vehicles take to the road all at once conventional wisdom says that I should not be one of them. I should either leave home the day before, or I should wait until late in the day after the crowd has passed. When we do decide on a road trip this has been our strategy and it works just fine. The idea is to not have any absolute deadlines so time is not of the essence.

I just don't understand what happens to people's brains during peak times on the road. So many people just seem to disengage from their brains, or they replace their brains with excrement. There are so many reasons why cars are made to crash. One of the most avoidable reasons is driver fatigue. All it takes is for you to close your eyes once and you will probably never open them again. However, all too many times total and absolute stupidity is the cause.

Last night I was driving along a two lane road approaching the top of a rise when four cars came up from behind me when I was travelling at 80kph, the maximum allowed. As we approached the top of the hill we were required to lower our speed to sixty because over the hill there is a junction from our right. During the day often there are heavy goods vehicles entering the main road, either continuing along the lane we were in, or crossing over to proceed in the opposite direction. These are extra long vehicles that take a count of fifteen to cross one lane.

Those four cars overtook me and another car behind me as we neared the top of that hill, having no idea whether a vehicle was approaching in the opposite direction. Had there been a car in that lane there would have resulted a crash that would have involved at least six, and possibly seven vehicles because of the insanity of those four drivers.

If I could have had my way I would have taken all four of those cars and had them destroyed and the permits taken away from the drivers. I would have also given them each a damn good flogging for trying their best to add to the carnage on the road.

There can be no excuse at all for such terminal nonsense like that!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

When Calamity comes to Call

Fallas celebrations in Valencia this year drew more than three million people from out of town. They came from near and far and despite some rain it was a great success. Hotels are booked a full year in advance, and some are fully booked even earlier than that. Many young people sleep on the beach, which is not a bad alternative to trying to drive back to their homes at some very early hour of the morning.

A number of young students attending Barcelona universities travelled to Valencia by bus, and they returned on the morning of the 20th leaving Valencia at 3am. Four buses were booked to ferry Erasmus exchange students. Three of the buses arrived safely, the fourth one didn't because it crashed close to its destination and the main speculation why it did is because the driver may have fallen asleep. If that is the case it would be understandable. So many times after the celebrations are all over everyone piles into the car or bus and they all fall asleep, leaving the driver to stay wide awake. This is always very dangerous.

I have no doubt that the drivers were all  responsible and that they tried to get their rest. Where? No-one can sleep during Fallas with the noise level at its highest. For years residents of Valencia city leave during Fallas just to find peace and quiet. The problem with fatigue behind the wheel is that you only need to close your eyes once never to open them again.

Fourteen beautiful young women died in that crash that the driver survived. He was not being irresponsible or reckless. I'm certain that he was doing his best to get his precious cargo home safely. The ramifications of a tragedy like this is so widespread as to collapse the imagination. Of the fourteen who died, two were from Germany, one from Romania, one from Austria, one from France, eight from Italy, and one from Uzbekistan. That means family members from all of those countries had to scramble to get to Barcelona. In addition another 46 students were injured, plus the driver. In total twenty nationalities were on board the bus, so the impact has a very wide reach.

A tragedy is made so much worse when young people's lives are cut short and they don't get to realise their full potential.

At times life seems to be so unfair.

Copyright (c) 2016

Eugene Carmichael

Dangerous driving time

This year Easter has come early. That is welcome, but it has come up against the Fallas celebrations in Valencia and that has caused not just a little confusion.

Fallas is Valencia's biggest fiesta of the year which starts just before the first of March and continues through until March 19th. On this day we celebrate el Dia de San Jose, or Father's Day, and unlike Father's Day in most other countries, which tends to be quiet and sedate, we blow things up and burn things down. The 19th is also the final day of Las Fallas. The monuments have been put in place for five days. More than three million people have come to view close to one thousand monuments and now it's time to close this chapter until next year.

The city shuts about 900 streets making driving practically non-existent. People have to walk everywhere, but then you would want to because there is so much to see. There were, as usual, some masterpieces erected, and by all accounts the fiesta  was a tremendous success.

I deliberately avoided the whole thing. I took a complete rest from Fallas this year. Sometimes I find its refreshing to do that because it does get to seem like a lot of the same thing. However, there were a couple of monuments that I saw in the papers and on television that were exceptional. It all depends on what was happening at and before the time the designers sit down to plan next year's event. There are so many fraud and corruption trials going on, and all manner of things happening on the political scene that I think designers were spoilt for choice.

Many people who live in Valencia leave the city and come to our part of the country to get away from the noise because we will not have our celebrations for the next two weeks. No matter what other reasons are given for Fallas the favourite one is to make as much noise as `possible to chase away the old man of Winter. Since it works without fail every year we keep doing it.

From the driving perspective there were all those people getting out of town at the same time so many more were flooding in. No sooner did Fallas end did Holy Week begin the very next day with Palm Sunday walk. There were preparations for that taking place in the midst of Fallas, and the mass exodus for parts elsewhere to celebrate Easter began. Road traffic numbers swelled to alarming proportions but during the first day no traffic deaths were reported anywhere in Spain. That couldn't last, of course, and by Sunday more than twenty people had died, four of those were motorcyclists and fifteen were students from Barcelona who travelled down to Valencia for Fallas by bus.

It is always a tragedy when people, especially young people die at the very time they are trying to have a good time. We have another week to go before everybody returns, so let us keep our fingers crossed that they do so in safety.

(c) Copyright 2016

Eugene Carmichael

Learn something new everyday.

In my other blog, http://formenseyesonly.blogspot.com I wrote about being older and wiser. As drivers the opportunity to continue to learn our skills is unlimited. Every metre of road has something to teach us. Every roundabout is a lesson to learn. As an old person behind the wheel I would unhesitatingly say that the greatest lesson I have learnt over the years is to always be prepared through anticipation.

My latest lesson came at night as I approached a roundabout with a pedestrian crossing. From my left came two lanes of traffic, one line would turn off to my left, the other would continue on the roundabout. So, there I was, still moving as I approached the junction with my eyes left. I then looked straight ahead as I began to stop, but on my right there was a cluster of people who were watching me, waiting for me to see that they were waiting to cross in front of me.

What a shock! I should have been aware of them first and I should have stopped before I did. They were the last element I took note of, and considering it is not the custom of people in this country to wait to be given their rights, I am very fortunate I did not knock someone down due to my inattention.

So, driving is an on-going class in motion, and the occasional fine is an educational fee. The ground rules are to select the correct speed for the situation we are in, and to avoid any substances that will impair our concentration, and to focus that concentration on the road ahead.

I think I will welcome the day when all traffic is driven by computers, provided the software is of a sufficiently high calibre.

Copyright (c) 2016

Eugene Carmichael 

A super crash averted

For this story you will have to use your imagination.

I was driving easterly on a long, undulating straight road when all of a sudden two cars overtook me from behind. The second of those cars decides that he will also overtake the car in front of him, which he proceeds to do.

One of the dips in the road is so pronounced that when cars are down in it they cannot be seen by other traffic, nor can they see other traffic. Suddenly two cars came up from the dip with one of the cars overtaking the other. Now we have four cars, with one each on the wrong side of the road and closing fast. With some fast swerving the over-takers managed to get back on their correct sides by avoiding running headfirst into the cars that were on their correct sides.

It was a very close thing indeed, and I was the observer.

There was one other car far up ahead, and that was a police car carrying a high ranking officer, judging by his medals. I deliberately did not speed up to the point where I would be riding closely behind them, but the two who overtook me were trying their best show they were speeding.

At the far end there is one final rise to get over, but lately I had noticed that there was often a police car stationed to record your speed when you came over the crest of the hill. Whatever speed you were travelling at that time was what would be recorded. However, by that time everybody had slowed down because of the police car in the lead. Shortly after that point there is a four-way junction with traffic lights. When I arrived the were all patiently waiting in line for the lights to go green for us.

So, my question is: "What worth was it to nearly kill people in order to catch up with a senior police officer, and to go through police radar, just to have to wait for the green light along with everybody else?"

This is a classic example of how people get killed due to stupidity on the parts of drivers. Hopefully, cars that drive themselves will be smarter than that!

Copyright 2016

Eugene Carmichael