THE FUTURE OF MOTORING IN SPAIN

Firstly, here’s a dreamer’s ideal of motoring in Spain in the not too distant future: Easter long week-end break. Death toll on the roads: zero. Well, why not? In 2006 the toll nationwide was 108.

The dream continues: End of the year, 2007: Death toll for the year: Less than 100 unfortunate people will lose their lives in mainly weather-related incidents. These will be due to extreme foggy conditions, and ice patches in unexpected places.

We wish: From July 1st, 2006, the points system bit hard and removed all the hard-core cases off the road. The ones who could not accept that driving while under the influence of drink or drugs would no longer be tolerated, quickly lost all their points and were sent to driver re-education. There, they found that in order to regain their license involved a process of demonstrating that they were ready to go back out there to be a part of the solution, and not a part of the problem. In this, they simply failed.

They had heard that people who were trying to get a license for the first time were finding that it was really difficult. Such people had not done anything wrong, so it could be assumed that if those people had a difficult time, anyone who held a license and lost it through avoidable infractions could expect to have it doubly difficult. Impossible, in fact.

So, with the bad boys out of the way, that left room for the rest who were genuinely trying to be good motorists. Also, the dreaded day of reckoning when the government expected absolute gridlock never came, because by simply declaring that anyone caught driving without a license, and who had never held a license were sent directly to jail.

Previously, people who had tried and failed several times to obtain a license simply bought a very cheap car and drove anyway. When they were caught they accepted that the car would be taken from them. They paid their fine and then bought another cheap car. But, this thing about going to jail had to be taken seriously. So, they took public transport or bought a moped.

Why it took authorities so long to use the prospect of going to jail is difficult to fathom, but it had the desired effect. Whereas there had been about 40% of traffic that had been illegal, the vast majority of those cars were pulled off the road, and that gave breathing space to everyone else.

One of the immediate and most noticeable changes was the sudden availability of parking space in the towns. It was amazing and no longer necessary to park across pedestrian crossings, nor to occupy pedestrian sidewalks. Some people had to go back to driving school to learn to park properly.

The characteristics of cars will continue to evolve. Most cars at present are computers on wheels, and this trend will continue. We are now seeing the new generation that uses electric and petrol engines in an effort to be more environmentally friendly. Experimentation continues with all-electric models as the industry looks ahead to the end of fossil fuels.

I believe that for the foreseeable future we will simply have more of the same. This is because even if someone came up with an all-new concept car that would run on wind the oil giants would buy up the patent and keep it under wraps until there is no more oil to be had. Who knows how many such patents they now own. I suppose there are a lot of very clever people about with great visions that would take society ahead by a quantum leap, but probably Big Oil, and their partners the car manufacturers deliberately get in the way of such development.

Of course, they have their legitimate concerns as well. Investment, plant, inventory, and jobs, all of which form a delicate balance. Sometimes I wish I could live to see my 200th birthday just to see what kind of world there will be at that time. Given the direction in which we seem to be headed, I very much doubt that there will be a world that any of us could recognize by then.

Back to the present, we can do so much to make 2007 motoring’s best year. If we all started now to play our part in reducing the carnage on the roads, with our combined People’s Will we can achieve any thing we set our minds to. Naturally, I need to translate this column into Spanish.

Please don’t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

First Time Motorcyclists

Congratulations to my son, Nathaniel, on gaining his A1 motoring permit. This allows him to ride motorcycles up to 125 cc. In obtaining his permit he has achieved the near impossible, in that not only was he challenged to pass the theory exam for the motorcycle, which is difficult enough, but he also had to pass the exam for cars, although he won’t be eligible to drive one until he is eighteen. He is at present nearly seventeen.

The thinking behind this is that the same set of rules applies to both types of vehicles, and because the 125cc can travel at speeds of up to 120 km/h, he must be well versed in the rules as though he were applying for a car license. I personally can support that, and I would rather that his preparation was over complete, than lacking in important detail.

What makes this a difficult challenge is that he had to study from two sets of textbooks, and the exams were administered on the same day. He passed both tests on the first try, and the exams were taken in Spanish, and he did it all himself. Normally, with a bit of luck one might pass one and fail one. I am particularly proud of his achievement because I too took my theory in Spanish, having arrived in Spain with no command of the language at all. So, like father, like son, although he went one better and took two on the same day.

He then went on to do his practical, and that involved going to a special driving school that trains motorcyclists, truckers and bus drivers on a special track. The system here in Spain does not allow for gaining practical instruction by going on the road with an experienced driver, who might be one of your family, as is the case in the U.K. So, one can only get some experience by taking driving lessons in a school-owned car or motorbike.

He proved so adept that after only four training sessions he was deemed ready for the test, which is conducted in Valencia at the El Saler examination centre. Again, on the first try he passed. And now, he has his wings. Our young lad turned an important milestone, and we, as his parents will have concerns whenever he is out of the house. Time marches on and soon he will don tie and suit and have little people who will address him as Dad.

I wrote in a previous column on Young Motorists (see my blog address above) that this is just not enough to properly prepare our first-time motorists to deal with these roads. So, I’m going to share with you some of the extra tuition that I have given to my son:

Always wear your helmet securely on your head.

Particularly with bikes, too much speed is your worst enemy, and is almost always present in crashes. You are especially vulnerable without the surround of the cage that car drivers have. Also, stay focused; pay attention; avoid surprises.

You are not authorised to carry a pillion passenger until you have attained your eighteenth birthday.

Once you have your licence confine your riding to the daytime for at least a couple of weeks as you gain in riding experience and grow comfortable with your machine. Save night riding until later because there is a very real difference. Roads that are familiar during the day become new roads at night. Do one thing at a time.

If your bike has a sidestand that will allow you to operate the bike if it is still in the down position, discuss this with your mechanic, because should you move off with it in the down position it will probably result in your death. Have it removed or have it spring back to the up position the moment you take the weight of the bike off it.

If the bike is a 125 cc and can attain speeds of at least 100km/h, you have a perfect right to occupy the middle of the lane in which you are travelling. That is to say that if you position your bike close to the right hand side of the lane, cars will be tempted to push past you, even pushing you off the road. However, should you position your bike in the centre of the lane the car that wishes to overtake has to go around you and into the other lane. As he overtakes you can then move slightly to the right, as you are required to do.

The first words from the mouth of car drivers who collide with motorcycles is, “I just didn’t see him!” To rob the driver of this excuse, wear a reflective lime-green vest, that I call a “Gerry Jacket” during the day and at night. These jackets are worn by all road workers and police, and the mere hint of one says “Human Being!” There can be no excuse. The driver will have to look for another explanation.

Never operate your bike under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and that includes prescription drugs from your doctor or over the counter products that warn against the operation of machinery while taking the medication. A collision with an immovable object can kill you even at fairly low speeds.

Never intentionally run red lights or pass on the right. The overtake side is to the left. The Undertake (Undertaker’s) side is to the right. It’s always such a crying shame when someone young gives up his or her life too soon.

Don’t cut corners unless you can see that nothing is coming toward you.

Driving is all about the use of judgement, either good or bad. Good judgement and anticipation give a much better chance of having a long and safe road riding experience. Bad judgement is how people get killed before their time.

I conclude by relating that a young man with somebody’s daughter as a pillion passenger passed me on the right going as fast as he could, and when I blew my horn in protest he actually looked back at me, grinned and flipped me the finger. If he really wants to impress the girl all he has to do is get her home safely, every time.

Motorists! Please use extra care and caution for motorcyclists. Motorcyclists! “Be Seen to be Safe!” Wear the lime-green reflective “Gerry Jacket” by day and by night.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

EL BOTELLÓN (II)

Some time ago I wrote about the social phenomenon sweeping the country among Spanish youths and their friends, the Bring your own Bottle party. I also wrote a follow-up column that I called “The Telephone Call in the still small hours of the Morning.” This dealt with what can go horribly wrong when your son or daughter is out all night attending one of these parties. We almost lost our son to alcohol poisoning.

A reader e-mailed to ask me whether I had actually attended one of events. The answer was no, of course not. I am the enemy; I would be about as out of place as Waldo the Circus Clown in the boardroom of Telefonica. (Maybe not!) I was aware that things really get going after midnight, and that sometimes people attend from far away. Text messages get sent as invitations, and young people are drawn like moths to a flame.

These parties are hugely popular, with both sexes well represented. When I wrote the first article there were certain things that I had taken on good faith. I had passed by the congregation in the parking lot at just after midnight, and already the crowd was quite thick. I could see the boxes with bottles of liquor and the litre bottles of mixers. Already there was some serious drinking going on, but then, I went home where I was well past my bedtime.

My reader challenged me to write the whole story. I had apparently only scratched the surface. In order to get the full picture, I had to do as he had done. I had to get out of my bed at 4am and go see for myself. In his case, he actually went looking for his daughter and was so horrified by what he saw that he felt you should know too.

I don’t think that either he or I wish to spoil the fun for young people. We simply want them to survive this period in their lives, and if your teenager is one to hang out at these parties, there is something that you can do.

I arrived at Heron City in Paterna, Valencia at 3am, and I drove my car practically right inside the party zone and parked it. I stayed put for exactly two minutes, because that’s all the time it took for a very young looking girl with a green face to come lunging toward me with a look of abject panic. She then proceeded to upchuck the contents of her stomach over the car parked next to mine. I quickly reversed to a position of relative safety farther afield. Hopefully I was now out of the barf zone.

I felt like the latecomer to the party. Everybody else had a real big head start and there was a lot of laughing, camaraderie, and slurring of words. If you have difficulty understanding the Spanish language as it is spoke normally, you haven’t lived until you’ve heard it spoken by people who are totally out of their minds with booze.

To be perfectly honest, I really don’t mind if people drink a bit too much, the sort of thing that will result in a splitting head the next day. After all, it’s not my head that will hurt. But I watched a young lad take a bottle with a little coco-cola in the bottle and add what I think was vodka, so that the liquid in the bottle was about half full. He was already well wasted, his clothes were sticking to his body with what appeared to be sweat.

He then put that bottle to his lips, and to the cheers of his friends he proceeded to knock it back in one go. That is precisely the sort of challenge that ends in the person collapsed on the ground, dead as a doornail. In Russia, every year more than 42,000 persons die from alcohol poisoning from just this sort of binge drinking.

This is what we as parents can do. We can ensure that our children respect alcohol and the deadly effects of abuse. I am convinced that most of those young people on that night were blissfully unaware of what they were doing. Of course, once the party gets going it’s all too easy to throw caution to the winds anyway, but at least if you have done the research and you have sat your young person down at home and had them understand the dangers, that’s all that you can do. The rest is up to them.

I wrote in “The telephone call in the still small hours of the morning” about how my son ended up at a bottle party, even after I had a discussion with him three days earlier about the inappropriateness of doing just that. To be fair to him he thought he was attending a party in the disco.

Once he found himself in the midst of El Bottellón he accepted the first drink that was offered and then went on to drink himself into a stupor. He was eventually transported to the emergency department of a nearby hospital where I expect the staff have a lot of experience with this sort of patient.

We made certain that he was aware of just how close he came to losing his young life to alcohol abuse. He now understands that alcohol can kill, even without getting behind the wheel of a car. So far, he has demonstrated a very healthy respect for that demon drug, and long may it last.

I now see what the reader meant for me to see. The whole story of what goes on at one of these parties is wretched excess, too graphic for me to even attempt to describe on these pages. Even if I did or could be so explicit I can’t think of a good reason to do so. There has to be some compelling reason to tell the story, other than for the sake of content. I mean, these are young people going through their own rites of passage. I have been there and done that. Yes, it was a long time ago, but I still remember the sheer lunacy of it. That I get to remember and tell the tale is more due to good luck and a very worried and active guardian angel than my own knowledge and good judgement.

I just want your son and daughter to be a survivor. Give them a chance through education. Make sure that they know what they are doing. Research Alcohol Poisoning on the internet then share your findings with them. And Good Luck!

Drink, Drugs, Drive equals Suicide!



Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Convoluted Thinking!

Insurance for newly-qualified drivers

A certain insurance company will not insure anyone, regardless of their age, who has not held their license for less than two years. So, how does that work?

Let us say that they provide cover on the family car. An additional member of the family obtains their Spanish driving permit. It need not be an 18 year old. It could be the other mature partner, but this insurance company will not let them drive for two years. So, for two years they have not been able to put in practise what they have learned. Also, as a newly-qualified driver during this two-year period they would have had certain restrictions placed upon them, such as being limited to drive at no more than 80 kmp/h, and virtually alcohol-free.

At the end of the two-year period this insurance company actually expects to retain that same client on its books, and it will be happy to then insure the new person, who by then, without experience, can go onto the highway and drive up to 120 kmp/h, and whose blood alcohol rate could be up to 0.25 milligrams per litre of air exhaled.

The general perception is that a driver is safest as a risk when they have just recently obtained their license; are desperately concerned not to do anything to lose it; are especially concerned about their new car, and are under restrictions to help them gain in experience safely.

Insuring Jewellery

This is not strictly speaking a driving matter, but it sure is strange thinking. We held a policy of contents insurance that included certain items of jewellery that were declared at the time of applying for cover. The insurers accepted our application without asking for any further proof or description of the jewellery items. This is quite normal if the total amount that is declared is within a certain bracket, and if no one piece is valued at more than ten percent of the whole. However, much later when a thief broke into our house and stole the items of jewellery and other contents, the insurers demanded that we provided proof that such items of jewellery existed in the first place.

Such “Cowboy” insurers, who clearly didn´t know what they were doing, should have asked all the questions they needed to before taking on the risk. That´s how real insurance companies do it!

Suggestion: It might be a good idea to call your insurance agent and discuss this with them. If they are going to want proff the best time to do that is while you still have the items.

Those Slow-Down Signs

In a well-documented case, a driver was in the act of entering a major road from a minor road. He had come to a full stop at the stop sign, and when it appeared to him that the way was clear he started out to cross the road. For traffic circulating along the major road there were speed reducing signs bringing speeds down from 80 km/h to 60 km/h in view of the fact that this was a stretch of road that presented some danger.

As the driver was crossing the road along came a car that was travelling at way in excess of the 60km/h restriction, and judging by the skid marks, she was most likely travelling way in excess of the 80km/h as well. Consequently she slammed broadside into the other car. She explained her speed by saying that she was late for work. Well, now she was later.

When the police came the officer in charge took the decision that the collision was the fault of the driver who was crossing the street as he had left the stop sign. He completely ignored the evidence of the skid marks that pointed to speeding on the part of the lady motorist. The officer was Spanish, the lady driver was Spanish, and the motorist was English.

Those signs that require motorist to slow-down are there for a purpose. Consider for a moment that the vehicle that was pulling away from the stop sign was a very large truck. These vehicles move very slowly as they are put through their many gears, and especially when they are hauling very heavy loads. These are very long vehicles. I observed one such vehicle recently crossing the road from a dead stop. I counted a full nine seconds before all of him had cleared my lane. Not only did I need to reduce my speed to 60, it was necessary to reduce it further to 40km/h.

With respect to that officers reasoning, someone needs to remind him that the sign said “Stop!” It did not say, “Stay!”

More than 3,300 people lost their lives unnecessarily during 2005 on Spanish roads. Although things are getting better and the death toll is falling, it's not falling fast enough.

Please don’t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Copyright (c) "2007 Eugene Carmichael

Cigarette Smoking can Kill

Published on the 7/7/07. A day with all the sevens. Some consider this a good luck omen, others, not. Will today be a day of unspeakable atrocity by terrorists, or will it pass quietly and without incident. We'll see! One thing is clear, however, life has become one giant crapshoot, a lottery. El Gordo! If you lose, you lose all! Read on.......

The warnings on every pack of cigarettes sold here in Spain could not be clearer: Smoking Kills! I think that this means if you inhale the tar and nicotine contained in cigarettes, that eventually they may very well impact your health to the extent that your life expectancy may be shortened. That would be something that happened over time.

Cigarette smoking came very close to ending my life in one blinding second, and I don’t smoke.

While driving along a two-way country road I rounded a bend that opened onto a straight section of road, only to be faced by an oncoming car that was already over the middle line and heading directly for me on head-on collision course. The driver had his head inclined slightly to the right and looking down while he was in the act of lighting a cigarette from the car lighter.

With no time to spare I could not afford to panic. I simply hit the horn hard and veered as far to the right as I could go. To his credit the driver reacted immediately by veering to his right. As he brought his head up the cigarette flew from his mouth, and the stricken look on his face told the whole story.

As for me, I got that metallic taste in my mouth that comes just before certain calamity. If there was time for even a fleeting thought it would have been, “This is it! I’m going in.” But there was no time at all to think, just time to react.

As we passed each other we were so close we certainly could have shook hands. Maybe it’s just my imagination but the picture that is stuck in my mind is one of the driver with his eyes bugged right out of his head and the cigarette falling from his lips.

Of course I have replayed the scene over and over again in my head. I have concluded that what we had was a case of two motorists in the act of two separate activities. One was in the process of complete abandonment of vigilance; the other was practising anticipation and paying appropriate attention.

I travel that stretch of road regularly, and I know to be on the lookout for very large lorries that leave very little room for other traffic. Also, as it is a country road, early morning and toward sunset the chance of slow-moving tractors up ahead is a particular hazard.

Added to that, many other drivers see this as a speedway, more or less un-policed, and they drive like madmen. Especially, it seems the high-end makes get put through their paces. There have been numerous crashes along that road, the VP-6116 between Villamarchante and Pedralba, that traveses between massive orange fields. It would seem that the farmers are also growing a very curious crop of car bumpers.

I wonder why the parts of the cars that fall off are not collected, but rather left to add to the other garbage. I only wish that drivers would take a warning from it, but no, they appear only too happy to add their own car parts to the mess.

I have had some very narrow and close calls in my time. I would like to think that I have cheated death owning to my skill, calmness under duress, and readiness for all eventualities. The truth is probably that it simply has not been my time to go. There must be some purpose yet for me to fulfil. In this latest incident we were both travelling at between 60 to 80 km/h. It’s almost certain that the way the cars were lined up, with each driver directly facing the other, certain death would have come to both of us.

Had that happened, there would at least have been an argument in the hereafter about it.

So, what’s the moral of the story?
Our cars are not our living rooms.
When in charge of a vehicle our full attention is demanded at all times.
Lighting up of cigarettes is a no-no, and is the main reason the legislature is considering banning smoking while driving.
Holding a telephone up to one’s ear while trying to concentrate on traffic is an impossible task. Only women have the slightest chance because of their multi-tasking skills, but this is even beyond their capabilities.
Even talking on hands-free mobile units takes away too much concentration to be considered safe. Let it ring!
Drinking anything, while driving is not to be recommended, but drinking hot coffee is begging for trouble.
Anticipation is key to survival on the roads. If you can anticipate that something will happen, you can prepare for it to the best of circumstances. So, when you round a sharp bend and come face-to-face with an oversized vehicle, if you anticipated it might happen you would have slowed your speed and placed your car as far to the right as possible
When in charge of a vehicle you are not allowed the luxury of panic. It is natural at first to panic, but we must regain control instantly. After it’s all over and you have survived, you can then go to pieces if you like. During the event. You must have the calm of an astronaut. “Ah! Houston, we have a problem!” You would use the same voice that you use to ask for an ice-cream.
Finally, I appeal to drivers to be especially careful of motorcyclists, many of whom are very young people who are gaining their own road experience on slow moving bikes. Remember, you were once young too, and you may have sons and daughters, or other young relatives. Be careful for other people’s young relatives in order to expect the same from your fellow motorists for your kith and kin.

Cyclists! Always wear a lime-green reflective “Gerry Jacket”. Be Seen to be Safe!

A Timely Remnder

July 2006 was the day that a raft of new measures came into effect, designed as they were to change behaviour on Spanish roads. For a while we drove with these new sanctions in mind and we did alter our behaviour for the better. Also, the traffic police were pumped up for action, but one year later we are all sliding back to our bad habits, and the memory of the details has faded into the background.

At the top of the list of bad habits is our attitude towards stop signs, give-way signs, traffic lights on red, one-way streets, and of course, speed limits.. We have tended to regards these as mere suggestions. For a short while it was quite noticeable that adherence was much improved, and accident statistics reflected this. Lately however, I have noticed a regression back to the way that it was, and in some cases, behaviour is even worse.

I apologise for putting it this way, but frankly I really can’t think of a more polite way to say that sheer stupidity is at work in most cases involving crashes. If stupidity could only be outlawed and banished I wonder how much of an impact that would have.

The person who deliberately drives through a stop sign or red light is simply being stupid.

The person who drives at a speed that clearly endangers other road users is simply being stupid.

The person who passes the car on the right, only to promptly pull over into the right lane and then goes off into the exit lane, thereby cutting up the other car is being incredibly stupid.

And above all, when we drink to the point of being impaired, and regardless of that we get in our cars and drive, not only are we taking stupidity to its ultimate level, we are also being just about as irresponsible as we can be.

Speed:

The section dealing with speed is one to be carefully considered. Firstly, it would appear that an allowance is now being generally made whereby should you exceed the posted speed limit by 10 km/h nothing happens. That is not guaranteed!

Information taken from a page that appears to be posted by the Department of Traffic, (the DGT) on the internet gives the following chart: For a driver caught driving at between 101 and 120 km/h in a 90 km/h zone the penalty will be a fine of 120 euros, but no loss of points.


For a driver caught driving at between 199 and 208 km/h, the fine is 450 euros and a loss of 6 points. This would be considered a very serious offence.

Evidently, the rules have changed, because a year ago there was no 10 km/h free allowance, and by exceeding the posted speed limit by 50% or 30 km/h this was considered to be a “Very Serious” infraction. Very Serious meant the loss of one’s driving permit on the spot. It was simply taken by the Guardia Civil officer.

Someone once said that “Spain would not be Spain without alcohol impaired drivers.”
This is the one area in which the police seem to have actually stepped up their pressure. That is just as well because when we consider local custom it really is frightening. Alcohol has traditionally played such a prominent role in daily life that it’s no surprise that it is a factor in most collisions.

Forget starting the day with a coffee and a brandy. Forget stopping in at regular intervals throughout the day in the bar to tank up personally with a coffee and a brandy or scotch. Forget having a beer at the conveniently placed bar on the forecourt at the service station. Take a pass on that beer with the bocadillio at 11am, and wine with lunch. Entirely too many people lose their lives through this type of behaviour. Should a driver be caught driving over the alcohol limit while driving against the normal flow of traffic, (the wrong way) he loses 6 points per offence. i.e. all 12 points gone. Should he also be speeding at the time he will not be seen legally driving for some considerable time to come.

Should you lose your license it will be gone for at least six months, and before it will be returned you must take a driver’s re-education course during which you must spend at least 24 hours in the classroom. At the end you must pass a theory test.

For new applicants trying to obtain a driving permit the process is extremely difficult. Some people experience several tries and failures before finally passing the theory test. These people have done nothing wrong. I think it is reasonable to assume that if a person had a license and lost it for avoidable reasons, the likelihood that the license will be returned in six months is highly remote.

Other than the objective of changing driving behaviour, I believe that there is a second objective. I may be wrong as to whether authorities have it as a stated mission, but the end result will be the same, and that is a significant reduction of traffic on the roads. Certainly we have all seen the effect of so much more traffic. The building of so many new urbanisations in isolated locations requires that inhabitants have their own transportation. Consequently, 10,000 new housing units suggests at least that many new cars. In some areas saturation point has already been reached and we are headed for gridlock in the cities.

Finally, it has been reported that during the last 12 months, more than 5,000 drivers have lost more than 20 points each. Incredible!

While our annual death toll on the roads still hovers around the 3,000 mark, believe it or not, things are improving. Contrast that with the 5,790 deaths in 1997, with another 500,000 injuries sustained.

The granddaddy of all is the United States. In 1994, 40,676 people lost their lives on American roads, with another 4,100,000 injuries sustained.

Drive safely. The life you save may be mine! Thank you!




Stop Press! The road death figures have just been released for the periods, year-over-year 2005-2006, and 2006-2007. Throughout Spain, 3,272 people lost their lives unnecessarily between July 1, 2005 and 2006, but during the 12 months just ended the figure dropped by 14% to 2,795 deaths on the road. Compared with the awful year of 1997, that means that last year 2,995 fewer people died on our roads, so we are definately doing better.

Another very uncharitable way to put it is that every time a lunatic driver kills himself the roads are made a little safer for the rest of us. The shame is that almost always he takes others with him.




Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

The Metaphysics of Motoring

Published Sunday, June 24, 2007

How Sweet it is!

This term was made famous by Jackie Gleason, the comedian in his role as Ralph Kramden, of “The Honeymooners” TV series fame. It came to my mind when a really great client of mine sent me the following unsolicited testimony with the words, “You may do with it as you please.”

Her very kind words made not only my day, but my entire year, so I am very pleased to share with you. As though I needed an excuse, I hold this testimony up as an example of the result of doing a job to the best of one’s ability, although in most cases clients don’t take the time to put their thoughts down on paper.

I am greatly encouraged by my super-client’s comments. I fear that many of the cashiers in our household-name supermarkets will never hear such approving words regarding their performances. For them we need a rudeness award. But don’t get me started on that!

As you read on, I Thank the lovely Jackie for her praise and I am happy to have been of assistance. I wish her many years of happy and safe motoring. Here in its entirety is her e-mail:


“Eugene and The Metaphysics Of Motoring


“Eugene Carmichael, is a highly experienced driver with over 50 years experience of driving including advanced police and emergency driving training. He also obtained his Spanish driving license by passing the Spanish system of examination.

“No matter how experienced a driver may be it can be daunting driving in a new country especially if a person has come from an urban environment in northern Europe where a car is seldom used. Such would be the case for London residents.

“Yes, one can and should take additional lessons in the new country if one feels and knows it to be necessary but what happens next, when one feels back in the swing of driving, yet there is an apprehension about local driving conditions and an initial language barrier?

“Eugene is the man! He helps his clients banish their fears, real or imaginary by helping them to appraise their skills and develop new ones where appropriate. Eugene is fully supportive of the new stricter driving code in Spain and is committed to road safety.

“Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy which investigates the first principles of nature and thought. It is natural to move and mankind, ever inventive, has for centuries devised methods of moving from A to B, hence the motorcar. Travelling / moving involves a thought process and it is the thought process which shapes our skills as motorists, given that we are physically and mentally competent to drive.

“Eugene has a marvellous ability to help one internalize safe and competent strategies for driving. He is kind and considerate but firm where necessary; his services are helpful for women, who without being sexist, sometimes do not know how, or have forgotten to care for their vehicle, for example oil levels and tyre pressures. Yes, this can be managed by a garage, but it’s best to know the basics oneself.

“Eugene’s tuition is complete from the basic care of your vehicle to the revision and addition of good driving skills and practice. As motorists we have an obligation to ourselves and other road users to use our best endeavours for safety and competence on the roads. Eugene is a mine of information, but the most important aspect is his sound coaching skills. Eugene has helped many people literally from square one, people who have passed their driving test but for many reasons have not felt confident to drive in Spain.

“Eugene is above all a really decent chap with a tremendously worthwhile mission. It could be that all that is needed is a couple of hours of instruction , or it could be that a detailed programme of instruction is needed by the motorist. You will have to make the decision yourself, but making the decision to seek help and advice is a positive step towards safety. A driver no matter how skilled, who has for one reason or another become nervous can be a risk to themselves and to others.

“Yes it’s true that a lot of bad drivers are not nervous or even aware of their incompetence but what happens when you meet them on the road. On one of my coaching sessions a motorist overtook me on a dual carriage way by crossing a solid white line; another pulled almost half way out into the road from a side turning! Fear does not help in these situations, strategic defensive driving does. Eugene also has a corrective eye for drivers with bad habits and will check you out for this.. He is a really nice man who is easy to get along with and inspires confidence.”
----------O------------
My caution to new arrivals, particularly from the U.K. where you have been driving on the left is to take the greatest care not to make the fatal mistake of driving on the left here on the Continent. Always, before setting off, check that your left elbow, that’s the one that’s part of the arm you most likely wear your watch on, is pointing at the middle of the road. If it is pointing at the wall next to you, you have to take corrective action quickly and safely. You may also wish to use as your mantra the sentence: “The Right side is The Right Side!” In the U.K. the right side is the wrong side.

Driving round a roundabout the wrong way may be a bit more difficult to do, but be mindful that here the flow is counter-clockwise. Some very determined people have got it wrong. To do so could ruin your entire day.

Motorcyclists! Wear a reflective green “Gerry Jacket” by day and night. Be Seen to be Safe!

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Young Motorists

Published June 17, 2007

My son is now in his sixteenth year. At age fourteen he obtained his moped license (over my personal objections) because at that time the law allowed the minimum age of entry at fourteen. That law was put in place when Spain was a much different place and the pace of life was much slower and gentler. The law has recognised the danger in allowing people onto the roads at such an early age, so the minimum age is now sixteen.

I pointed out to my son that riding a moped outside of urban areas, (outside of town) carries an especially dangerous risk. Because the moped is engineered to travel at no more than 45 kph riders find themselves riding along the extreme righthand edge of the road. Consequently, impatient vehicle drivers tend to ignore them and push right past often resulting in the moped rider being pushed right off the road.

In some areas moped riders are allowed to use Autovias as there does not exist any other reasonable road for them. The autovia allows for cars and motorcycles to travel at speeds up to 120 kph. So, the moped rider must use the breakdown lane to stay out of the way of speeding cars and trucks. But what happens when the cycle rider wants to go straight on but has to cross an exit or an acceleration lane for vehicles entering the autovia? The potential here is unacceptably high that the cyclist may well be killed by some impatient imbecile, of whom there are far too many on our roads.

When I realised that my son would get his license anyway I at least looked around for a school that would give proper training to him to build the twin skills of bike handling and coping with other road users. There is the world - class racing track at Cheste near us where we thought that such instruction might be available, but no, it simply does not exist.

I did convince my son to wait until he turned sixteen so that he would be able to ride a motorcycle with an engine of 125 cc. A moped of 49cc is insufficiently powered to get its riders out of trouble. It can only get him into trouble by being so slow moving. At least, with 125 cc the rider can get up to the maximum speed of 120 kph, and therefore he can occupy his place in the lane. Here, he now needs to be visible to car drivers, therefore he should follow the example of the police and wear a lime-green reflective jacket, by day as well as by night. Of course, with the additional power the rider can get himself into trouble by riding too fast. But that is something he can control, and what’s more, only he can do so.

It is my intention to train my son thoroughly in defensive riding. He will have the benefit of more than 50 years of my experience. I have been trained to high-priority standards so that when he begins his riding experience he will be well prepared for almost any eventuality. All very well for my son, but what about your son or daughter? I hope the following tips will be of help:
- Does your bike have a side stand that you have to swing down to park. If it does, what happens when you want to ride off? Do you have to remember to flip the stand up again, because if you do, the first (and probably only) time that you forget you will almost surely be killed, or at least suffer severe harm. What would happen if you set off with the stand in the down position, is when you lean to the left the stand will dig into the ground and throw you off like a bucking horse. Other traffic will probably finish you off.

Recommendation: Unless the side stand automatically swings into the up position when you take the weight off it, have it removed as it is a death trap. Please note that some motorcycles have a failsafe mechanism fitted so that if you try to set off with the side stand in the down position, when you put the bike into gear the engine will cut out.

- As part of the visibility factor your bike’s headlight should remain on by day and by night. However, you cannot rely on this to make you as fully visible because if you are coming towards a car driver from out of a background where there are lots of lights, your one little light blends in and could be a street light to the driver. Again, this is where a reflective vest would increase your chances of not being hit by a car that wants to turn left across your path. The sight of a lime-green vest means “human being present”. The situation of your visibility at night is worse from the rear because you only have one tiny little red light to indicate your presence, and even that could be mistaken for a roadside marker. Wear the vest. “Be Seen to be Safe.”
- When applying the brakes on your bike it is very important to apply both the rear brakes and the front brakes together. This gives your bike stability when stopping, but of course, too much pressure of the front brakes and you go flying. Unfortunately, most cycles don’t have their own version of ABS, (anti-lock Braking System), which is a shame.
- When riding with a passenger there seems to be a universal need to show off to give your passenger the thrill of speed while threading between cars. If you really want to impress your passenger, get him or her home safely. That will impress them for all time.
- Wear appropriate bike attire, starting with a good helmet. Also, a good leather jacket, worn both summer and winter acts as a second skin so that if you do go down the leather will save you ugly and painful road rash. Remember that asphalt contains ground glass. Girls, I love to see you ride by wearing the skimpiest of clothes, but I would rather forego that pleasure to know that you are properly protected. Some say that they don’t want to mess up their hair by wearing a helmet. Well, reflect on this: if you get taken to hospital with head injuries your hair gets shaved off!

“Be Seen to Be Safe!” Ride carefully and responsibly. You are too vulnerable otherwise.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

What A Crying Shame!

Published Sunday, june 10th, 2007
As reported by newspaper, The Sun’s headline read, “ 3 killed at 125mph”. They were reporting on the tragedy of three young people, 30 years and under who lost their lives in one blinding flash while being conveyed in a top of the line BMW M3 convertible at apparently such a horrendous speed that upon impact with a palm tree the car actually exploded. This occurred at the La Zenia roundabout along the N-332 on the Costa Orihuela, Alicante Provence.

As this is an opinion column I feel compelled to weigh in with my two cents worth. But, this is not going to be a judgemental piece about young people out partying because their families have quite enough to deal with already without someone, such as myself, who didn’t even know any of the three or their families making critical comments. After all, I’m not so old that I don’t remember that I was young once. However, I am reminded that one only gets to be my age if you have a whole lot of luck and a very active guardian angel.

Rather than getting bogged down with the obvious, I would like to give you my impression of how I felt on hearing this news: Firstly, I became aware of what had happened through the Spanish nightly news, which included some rather graphic footage of the crash scene. I could not take in what I was seeing. Later, the Costa Levante News produced the print version of the story, which I have read and re-read many times. The first time I read it completely through, and subsequently I have analysed selected parts and dwelt on them.

One sentence stated “The impact was so great that the car’s engine was hurled 200 YARDS from the wreckage.”

If The Sun and The Costa Levante have their measurements correct, we can make a comparison with the following to get a better idea of just how far the engine was thrown. The width of an American College football field is 160 yards, and the length is 360 yards.

The regulation soccer field length is 130 yards, and the width is 100 yards.

This means that the emergency services would have passed the engine on the way to the scene. If it was in plain sight they would likely have exclaimed, “ What’s that?”

Another sentence stated that the car “ smashed into a palm tree at 125 mph and exploded into pieces.” Using a converter I found on the internet to convert mph to km/h we see that 125 mph is 201.16 km/h. I then proceeded to find something to measure that with, so I looked up the current land speed record held by a road going car, which led me to the strangest discovery. It seems that a young man named Mike Newman, in an effort to raise awareness of the problems of blindness, (as well as raising funds) set the record on October 11th, 2005 at Evington Aerodrome, near York, England, in a BMW M5, by travelling at 178.5 mph, while blindfolded. His previous record was 144. mph, and that is only 19 mph more than 125 mph. If indeed that car was travelling at 125mph, that will surely be the record for the N-332.

Incidentally, I also have a new found respect for palm trees.

I have long held an opinion that a manufacturer who makes a road-going car that can greatly exceed the maximum speed limit is not acting responsibly. In Germany there is no limit on the autobahn, but elsewhere in the civilized world the maximum is 120 km/h. So, why do we have cars in Spain that can top 200 km/h? It is not an isolated case that someone drove a car at such a speed. I have written before of very rich people who have been seen driving along the motorway at top speed in their top-of-the line sports cars. They seem to have been completely oblivious to the fact that they would very quickly catch up with unsuspecting traffic ahead.

Most loss of life on the roads doesn’t involve such dramatically high speed, but death is death. This incident comes on top of so many others we might be tempted to say that we have become numb. That is not the way I feel. Each tragedy weighs upon my psyche. Because my wife and I are parents of a teenaged son I always think of what must it have been like for the parents to have received the initial news, and how do they cope on a day-to-day basis. I think of my own mortality and wonder if it might all end in a flash for me. Most of us think and assume that it will not, but why not? Yes, we can control our own behaviour, but we cannot control the behaviour of others.

Former American President, Bill Clinton was famous for saying that he felt the pain of those who suffered around him. I feel the pain of the three families and their friends. Their loss did not have to be, and that must surely make it worse. It’s one thing to have a family member involved in a high-risk endeavour and to lose them through that, such as was the case of the space shuttle Columbia that disintegrated upon re-entry into earth’s atmosphere. The three families concerned simply lost their loved ones to a fun night out.

Finally, a police spokesman made the understatement for the year as he said, “it’s a miracle nobody else was injured as there was wreckage all over the road. The car exploded on impact.” That particular roundabout is usually very busy with people even waiting at the impact site for the bus. The fact that it happened at 6am saved many other peoples’ lives.

So, to Emily Scourfield, 24; Jonathan Grafton, 27; and Brian Hill, 30, Rest In Peace.



. Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

MG Car Club BCV8 Championship

Published June 3, 2007

I have stumbled upon a select group of men and women who are having entirely too much fun, and almost in secret. They are MG enthusiasts who have formed themselves into an eclectic club to enjoy themselves by indulging their classic cars in racing competitions.

Of course, I am utterly fascinated by Formula One racing. I am always awed by the presence of that much money, but I just can’t get my head around such an elite class, being as it is so far removed from my own reality. I drive a Volvo and have a mortgage, for goodness sake!

But the MG is another matter. It is a thing of my past, something that I grew up with in my midst. I never actually owned one myself, but a very good friend did and I have fond memories of cruising with the top down. On one such (rare) sunny day we drove out to a small airfield just north of London to where June had her Aeronca two-seater plane located. She had invited me to lunch at a French restaurant, but she didn’t tell me that it would be in Paris. But, I digress.

Of course, the Holland MG competitions take place mainly in Holland, but also in Belgium, Germany, and Luxembourg. England has the largest MG centres, and the greatest concentration of MG owners and members with thousands racing on the great circuits at Brands Hatch, Oulton Park, Mallory Park, and Silverstone, to name but a few. Included among the notables are Rown Atkinson, (Mr. Bean) who races his Aston Martin.

Races might include in the line-up any or all of the following: MGA, MGB, MGB GT, MGB GT V8, or the odd MGC. Most of the cars entered into competition were manufactured many years ago, some going back to the sixties, so, in every sense of the word these are classics that are lovingly restored and maintained. So the one thing you will likely not see much of is the NASCAR-type pile-ups that make for so much excitement. These will be gentlemen racers who want to win, but who try not to get too chummy on the track

Jan de Jonge is from Holland, and he competes in both Holland and England. Driver’s Seat caught up with Jan at his family’s home in Valencia to seek a first-hand view of this sport from a driver’s / owner’s viewpoint.

“ Racing of this type is non-professional, but is done by serious hobbyists. I have two cars, an MGA Coupe that I use for European competitions, and an MGB GTV8 that I use for racing in England.

“Speaking now about the competitions held in England, there are different classes as follows: A-class is standard; B-class are those roadsters that have been modified for racing; C-class are specifically designed for racing with V8, 3.9 litre controlled engines; and the class in which I race, D-class, that use Rover engines of a maximum 4.0 litres that are highly tuned. I have had my engine at 7,200 rpm producing 324 bhp.

“I have been racing since 1981 and I usually finish in the top three places. I have had my share of first-place finishes, but my pride and joy is having finished in the 1999 season, second overall. That involved a lot of hard work and a great deal of good luck to finish in that position after fourteen races. Weekends are taken up with practice on Saturdays and races on Sundays. A full race programme will consist of about nine races during the afternoon, usually by make of car, involving about 30-35 cars at the start of each race. So you get the MGs, the Porsches, the Ferraris, etc. in their individual team races. Very occasionally we get to race in a mixed card where all the different classes and marques compete, but this is just for fun.

“I consider Brands Hatch my home track, but it does involve moving by road my car with trailer from my home in Holland, which is just about my greatest recurring expense. Otherwise, the car is so well made that generally, maintenance is minimal and do-able between my colleague and myself.

Some quick FAQs:

- Top speed attained by Jan on the track in Holland was 260 km/h.
- C and D-class racers use slick-type (without grooves) tyres that need to be carefully assessed after four races. Where money is no object these would be changed at a cost of about 2,000 euros a set. However, with reasonably careful handling, these can be made to last the season. Jan uses eleven-inch surface tyres. Classes A and B are not allowed to use this type, instead they are restricted to commercially normal tyres.
- Attention to detail is important. Tyre inflation could be the difference between winning and second place. To do this even the temperature of the track must be measured. A hotter surface and you need to add air. A cooler track and you need to reduce air pressure. Getting it right is all down to skill and judgement.
- Safety standards are very high, and include a padded cockpit; a roll-cage; special six-point safety belt; and sophisticated fire control system to particularly protect the driver.

“I did crash once while racing at Croft, Scotland. At the time I was driving a C-class when a fellow driver and I got ourselves entangled and I went to the wall. That resulted in the write-off of the car, although much was salvageable, but that’s an experience I would not like to repeat, ever. As testimony to the safety of the car I walked away uninjured, but a little sore.

“Racing is an activity that demands your absolute concentration. There are so many things to be aware of all at once that your every nerve is engaged and your adrenaline is pumping at maximum level. With experience, and knowledge of your car much of what you are engaged in seems like second nature, but all it would take is a lapse of concentration for just a nano-second and things could go horribly wrong. Much like driving in Valencia, you might say.

“My sport, racing the MGB GTV8 is second to none, however, even professional commentators seem to believe that names like Ferrari and Porsche are ahead of us in prestige, when in many cases our cars are actually faster. We will just have to continue to do what we do best. In the meanwhile, we do have fun!

Driver’s Seat wishes Jan all the best in his endeavours!

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

A Formula One Racing Primer

Published: May 27th, 2007

If Formula One racing is to take place in Valencia for the 2008 season, far more Valencianos will be affected than by the America’s Cup, which is, after all out on the water. Racing in the streets of Valencia will be hard to ignore as it will be in our faces, and it will be loud. It will also be very exciting and that means that many of you who live in the South of Spain will no doubt make the trip for the event. So, unless you are already an aficianado, perhaps it would be a good thing for the rest of us if we all got to know a little about this new event that will galvanize our city, if it happens.

I visited the Wikipedia Encyclopedia on-line at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_One to gather some facts and figures for us to use as background.

Formula One racing is quite simply the highest form of racing of this kind. The “Formula” is a set of rules that are applied to this class of race. Formula One rules are not quite the same as the rules for Formula Three. As a driver you are at the top of your sport if you are in the starting line-up of the 22 cars in a Formula One race.

Formula One Racing, usually abbreviated as F1, and also known as Grand Prix racing, is said to be the most expensive sport of all. However, when considering the mega-money spent by the America’s Cup teams that seems difficult to believe. We can say for sure that F1 is among the top five in the costliest sports. Budgets are a closely kept secret, but estimates put the figures at between $60 million to $400 million per team for a season’s racing. Such astronomical cost of the competition has caused 28 teams to withdraw since 1990.

F1 racing is regulated by the Federation Internationale de’ Automobile (FIA), which has its headquarters at Place de la Concorde, Paris. The famous face that is most familiar in association with F1 is that of Bernie Ecclstone.

The formalization of the sport began in 1946 with the standardization of rules under the FIA, and interest in the emerging genre grew slowly but steadily throughout the 50,s, 60s, and 70,s. From 1981 the sport came into its own with an explosion of interest, drawing unto itself a multitude of participants and would-be investors.

There soon came about a separation of the boys from the men due to rapidly rising costs. Cars that were built privately were soon outclassed by those built by established motor manufacturers to the extent that today, virtually all racing cars are built by name factories in their special divisions.

As part of the shake-out there are four giants that dominate the sport. They are Teams McLaren, Williams, Renault, and of course Ferrari, who have survived from the start. Since 1984 the world championships have been won by one of these four exclusively. However, for the 2006 season there were eleven teams competing.

During the early 2000 years public interest fell off due to the predictability of the outcome. Michael Schumacher in the Ferrari was unbeatable. During his 15 year racing career, Schumacher won a total of 91 Grand Prix titles. In the 2004 season, he won 13 of the 18 races. Overall, he won a total of seven World Championships, and was undisputed Champion for 1,800 successive days.

Racing is for two titles: The Driver’s Championship, and The Constructor’s Championship. Schumacher won seven Driver’s, and Ferrari has won fourteen Constructor’s championships. Fernando Alonso ended Schumacher’s reign by winning the 2005 Championship and that led to the retirement of one of the greatest drivers who has left an imposing record to beat.

A race covers 305 kilometres and can last not longer than two hours, but usually is over within ninety minutes. Only the first eight finishers of the twenty-two starters receive points on a 10-8-6-5-4-3-2-1 basis. First place gains 10 points, second place 8, and third place 6, and so on. These points count toward the end of season result. Rules are somewhat complex, but broadly speaking a participant is allowed two stops for change of tyres and two for fuel during a race.

Currently, engines are standardised at 2.4 litres and V8 cylinder configuration producing 740 bhp and 20,000 rpm. (revolutions per minute). Attainable speeds of 350 km/h have been reached on track, but Honda, in an off-track experiment adhering to FIA rules reached 415 km/h. The fuel that is used is similar to that which is commercially available, although it smells more like aviation fuel.

Also, just so you know, what seems like a fireball from the rear of the car is not from the exhaust, but is in fact a light that is evidence that the traction control is working to keep the car from fishtailing.

Another particularly interesting factoid is that normally, an F1 course runs clockwise, but the course at Cheste runs counter-clockwise. This means that extreme stress will be placed upon drivers by the high G-forces present when they are cornering in mostly left-hand bends, and those G-forces will pull driver’s heads in the opposite direction than normal.

The primary consideration of the FIA in their rule book is that of safety. There were two deaths of drivers while behind the wheel in 1994, but since then there have not been any further such incidents, although two track marshals somehow got themselves killed.

During February there was F1 practising at the track in Cheste. I visited there in the company of a Dutch racing car driver, Jan de Jonge and his family, as they were interested to see how the Dutch team Spyker were getting along. You will immediately recognize the Spyker car as it is a brilliant Orange colour. Jan proved to be a valuable guide, and in a subsequent column we will be talking with him about racing as seen “From the Driver’s Seat.”

Always practice caution when driving. Remember, Care will get you There!

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Honda's Goldwing! More Than a Motorcycle!

• Published May 20th, 2007
• 
  There is something about the Honda Goldwing that turns heads. The first time I came upon one a group of nuns were gathered round it praising it to Heaven. Especially if its a cherry red colour. Not such a long time ago I took a round the British isles tour on a ‘Wing, riding solo, simply going where fancy directed me. My experiences on just that trip alone could fill a book. The thing is that this is not so much a motorcycle as it is a lifestyle. To begin with it is so luxurious that people who just don’t understand will likely ask, “ why not just get a car?” Here are some stats:
  
  - This is a motorcycle that runs on a 1500cc engine, and the newer models run on 2000cc.
  - The engine is a six-cylinder, dual-carbs, five gears, including overdrive, plus reverse. The reverse gear works off the starter motor and is used when it is necessary to roll the bike backwards up an incline. No matter how slight, it simply is not possible to push the bike because of its weight.
  - Standing still on its own it weighs some 850 pounds before adding 66 pounds of luggage and a full tank of petrol. Then with rider and passenger we begin to get into some serious weight. The perpetual worry is that of having the bike fall over, or having to stop on steep hills.
  - It is made for long-range touring, and to this end it is absolutely superb. It is possible to hitch a purpose-made trailer that folds out into a very intimate double bed tent, together with space underneath to carry pots and pans and all sorts. You can even attach a small refrigerator that runs off the cigarette lighter.
  - It has a superb sound system. From the cd/radio deck you can play your favourites on quadrasonic sound, two speakers in the front and two behind for the passenger.
  - Communication between passenger and rider is through helmet - to – helmet intercom, as well a CB system allows talk between riders of the group.
  - For cold weather riding, which most ‘Wing owners do not do, there is the facility to plug into the electrics your thermal underwear. Like wearing your electric blanket. The latest innovations are heated handle grips, and heated back rests with six points independent controls for passenger and rider. It also has a/con in the sense that it is possible to channel warm air from the engine on to legs and feet.

It had to happen eventually. Now, engineers have added air-bag protection in the case of frontal collision. Next, they will have to add-on as standard a tissue dispenser to wipe away the tears should the bike get hurt in an accident.

I was formerly a member of The Goldwing Owners Club of Great Britain, and the Goldwing Road Riders Association of America. Specifically I rode with Essex Wings and gathered many life-long lasting memories. What a great club! Notice I say “Club” and not gang. Oh no! These were gentlemen and gentle ladies, one and all. Law-abiding and courteous, and very experienced riders. It was quite enough to go for a run and to feel the power of our combined numbers.

We got our kicks from doing positive things like riding for charity, or taking someone very special for a ride to fulfill a wish.

Group riding has the effect on those on the roadside to stop what they are doing just for an instant to watch in awe. The young boy who just can’t wait to grow up; the elderly gentleman with the look on his face of “ah, if only…”, and the young girls whose eyes take on that certain twinkle. On Saturdays we often rode past churches where the wedding party was just coming down the steps. Many a bridegroom got himself into trouble by looking just a tad too wistful.

One of my more fond memories related to the day I rode into Oxford and parked the bike to go shopping. When I came back there was a throng closely inspecting everything about it. After allowing a few minutes to pass I proudly stepped through the group and opened the top box, took out my helmet and placed the key in the ignition. Everyone stepped back while taking an intense interest in my every move.

“SHOWTIME!” I turned the key and pressed the start button and people held their ears expecting a great varoom! What they got was the whisper quiet hum of a fine Swiss watch. Then I put it in reverse gear as mouths fell open and rested on chests. This scene, I thought, needs something. I happened to have on the sound system Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. “Oh, why not?” So to the strains of that lovely and stirring music I rode into the sunset, which were I not careful might have been the bushes, so carried away was I.

Enough of this reminiscence, where’s the nearest dealership?

Death on the roads? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Please don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Alcohol Poisoning!

Published May 13th, 2007

I have already written two columns on the evils of drinking too much alcohol, including trying to drive while impaired by even a little drink. I decided to look further into the subject of binge drinking, as being a particular threat to our children’s wellbeing. I know, they don’t like it when we call them our “children” but we parents will eternally think of them as such. Even when they are married and have children of their own.

My wife and I have one son. How old is he? Depends on who you ask. His mother probably thinks he’s twelve, and always will be. I think he’s sixteen, at least that’s what it says on his birth certificate. And if you ask him he thinks he’s thirty-three. Our challenge is to help keep him safe.

What is Alcohol Poisoning?

The world famous Mayo Clinic of the United States defines Alcohol Poisoning as a serious and sometimes deadly consequence of binge drinking of alcohol, otherwise known as ethanol.

I think that it may be commonly associated here in Spain with young people who congregate to hold illegal bottle parties. At these happenings some very serious drinking takes place as participants intentionally get hammered, po-faced, wrecked, and messed-up. Then, the next day they can be found saying “The Liar’s Prayer”. Dear God! If you will only let me live I promise never to do this again. (Untill next Saturday.) Usually this is said while hugging the toilet.

Why do we do such stupid things to ourselves deliberately? We know that the next day it’s really going to hurt. We’re probably going to make a fool of ourselves on the night. We may even do something that lands us in legal trouble. Then we get to say, “but I was drunk, yer honour! Like that made it better.

Now lest you think I was always an altar boy, I have had my fair share of shameful episodes, including the night I was helping my buddy to celebrate his birthday. We were drinking the French drink, Pernod. I finally awoke the next day inside my car, into the blazing sun in my yard. The key to the ignition was still turned to the on position, but my battery had completely run down. I can’t even begin to describe how my mouth tasted, just that I was so thirsty. Pernod makes you want to drink lots of water, and with every drink of water you seem to get drunk all over again. I was probably legally drunk for a week.

That was the last time I came anywhere near to being over the limit. I was surely suffering from the effects of alcohol poison in my system. Mainly I was terrified that I may have killed someone without even being aware as the car did suffer a bashing; and when it turned out that I had not harmed anyone, I was simply ashamed of myself.

There can be a funny side to drunkenness. Dudley Moore made his drunk famous in “Arthur”. Here’s what’s not so funny: The World Health Organisation has reported that more than 55,000 people between the ages of 15-29 die each year within Europe as a direct result of excessive alcohol, whether in accidents, suicides, murders, or alcohol poisoning.

England and Wales report that some 33,000 lives are lost annually from this preventable cause; and Scotland are concerned because girls outnumber the boys who are brought into the Accident and Emergency due to too much alcohol.

In Ireland the cost to every man, woman, and child from alcohol abuse amounts to 600 euros annually. The country with the greatest problem of all is Russia. Recently President Putin highlighted the seriousness of his country’s dilemma by acknowledging that each year approximately 42,000 people are killed or disabled directly by binge drinking.

What makes these figures hard to accept is that drinking in moderation is usually a social pastime, something we do for pleasant effect. The most devastating affect is in the college and university dormitories of the world where young people are sent to gain further education. For parents to have to come collect their dead student because he or she died from ignorance of the deadly effect of taking too much of a “good” thing is particularly ironic.

So, my only advice is, know your limits and stick by them. And one more thing: go to the internet and look up “alcohol poisoning” and learn to recognize it in your friends, and what to do in such cases. That information could actually save your own life, if you share it with a friend.

The Undertaker’s Cocktail : DRINK, DRUGS, DRIVE



Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

The Telephone Call in the Still Small Hours of the Morning!

Published May 6th, 2007

Candidly, I write this column in solidarity with all you parents of teenaged children who are growing up in the permissive society of Spain, or for that matter anywhere in Europe. Just in case you thought that you were alone in trying to cope with a lifestyle where your children expect to go out late at night, and to stay out until 10am the next day, let me assure you that you are not alone. All throughout the land there are dim lights turned on in solitary rooms as anxious parents wait up, unable to sleep.

My generation were expected to be in the house by no later than 11 o’clock at night. Later than that and don’t bother coming home, ever again. I always felt hard done by, as did all my mates as we were certain that all the action started after eleven. And it did, because the next day you got a blow-by-blow account from the older guys. (I'm sure they made up half of it.)

We felt that our fathers, and especially our mothers were too hard on us. They did not allow us any freedom, and they did not trust us any further than they could see us. Of course they were right, but we didn’t appreciate it at the time. We were sixteen and fully grown men, or so we thought.

What we did not understand was that we had to survive the growing-up process. We are like the turtles, in that not all who break through their shells and make it to the surface of the sand get to make it to the water. Of the ones who make it to the water, not all make it across the ocean, and of those that do, not all the females will make it back to the beach to lay new eggs. Relate this to the world of people and it becomes clear that one only gets to celebrate one’s seventieth birthday as a result of a lot of very good luck, a guardian angel who works overtime, and by making a lot of good decisions. Teenagers don’t always make good and sound decisions that are in their own best interests.

The permissive society makes it very hard for both parent and child, and a permissive society with rising expectations is worse. It is difficult for the parent who tries to keep their child under strict control, and it is also very hard for the child’s social stature among their peers. The child who is overly-protected is treated as a geek and teased unmercifully. Yet, it’s wrong that young people are free to roam the streets all night. Should something dire happen to your son or daughter in the wee small hours, and you are not expecting them home until 10am, how will you know that something is amiss?

Recently, one parent received a call from the emergency ward of a hospital to say that his son had been brought in by ambulance, having been found in an intoxicated and collapsed state. Following a urine test it was determined that the intoxication and poisoning was due to alcohol only. Following a stomach pump and several hours on a drip father and son were allowed to go home. If you must receive such a call, this is as good as it gets. However, having said that, acute alcohol poisoning can and does kill.

This tale does, however, have a kicker. The child’s wallet had been lost or stolen, and he lay for several hours, firstly in a car park in the open air with cars driving around, and later, he lay in that hospital bed as a “Patient Unknown” person. Were this a different circumstance and he had died, how would his parents have found him? By calling the hospital and giving his name, and asking whether he had been admitted would most likely have brought forth the response, “no one here by that name.”

On one Saturday night in Valencia at a bottle party, fourteen young people ended up in emergency as a result of being attacked and stabbed by a roving gang of neo-nazis. I wonder how and when their parents were informed.

So, here’s a suggestion to all you worried parents: If your son or daughter insists on being out till the very early hours of the morning, it will help if they would carry some form of alternative identification with your contact details. Normally all our ID is in our wallets. Once that is gone, unless we have a friend to give our details we become anonymous. Perhaps something as simple as a wristband or pendant, or for the boys the army-style “dog tags” would do. If you are in Torrevieja there is a static market that borders the parking lot at the port. Look for stall 126, and Michael, a very helpful young man will engrave your name and home telephone number on such identification.

It perhaps does not bear thinking about, but I’m certain that there are statistics that tell of the number of people who get taken to emergency as unknown patients, and worse, as corpses every day in the large cities of Europe. At least here in Spain we all normally have some form of identification with us. Apparently, the average person will have at least two forms of picture ID, a driving license and resident’s card. It’s sobering to think that in the U.K. most people walk around every day without one single piece of required ID.

Parents! Do you know where your children are tonight?

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

El Botellón (Bring Your Own Bottle Party)

Published April 29th, 2007
Some things are the same the entire world over for young people. They need the company of friends to hang out with and to experiment and swap stories. If I were here in Spain during my early years I would have been subjected to the Franco regime. That probably would not have been an awful lot of fun for me. Having said that, my upbringing was somewhat conservative. It was idyllic, being on a semi-tropical island, but it was a quiet and a very safe period in my life.

Fast forward to today’s Spain and compare with the years prior to 1975, the year of the death of Generalissimo Franco, “El Caudillo”. Young people were subject to strict curfew, and courtships were conducted in the home with “la abuela”, the grandmother, sat over in the corner to keep things from getting too hot.

Now, we have young girls leaving home at 1 am to go to the disco, where they will remain, supposedly until 7am, without supervision. These clubs open at such an ungodly hour, some of them seven days a week. Who on earth are their customers? Some will be night workers who finish work in restaurants around midnight as bartenders, waiters and chefs, etc. What about all those other patrons, who are they, these night people?. As most of us sleep there is a whole other world pulsating and throbbing to its own timetable and routine.

The country finds itself in the grip of a new phenomenon that is partly driven by young people who simply want to get together and party, but it is also fuelled by a determined streak of civil disobedience. The street and park bottle party is outlawed, therefore it is exactly the thing today’s youth want to do. As my son puts it, “if we can’t do something that we would really like to do, then we want to do it even more, to the point of obsession.”

The main problem with the Bring Your Own Bottle party is few of the participants have a plan of what to do after the party. The idea is to meet up in some location with a large enough space to park lots of cars, then open up the boots and those become instant bars. The car’s all have to have pumped-up super sound systems and that leads to competing mini discos.

Just outside Valencia city in the area of Paterna, is Herón City, a large sprawling leisure centre. The car park has been hijacked by the Botellón every Saturday night where serious drinking to “get-wasted” goes on. The law forbids holding these bottle parties in the street, but as the car park is private property the police are prevented from going in and breaking it up in the absence of complaints. Perhaps they do not even have the will to do so as it would probably mean a riot would break out and the police would have to hurt a lot of otherwise good-natured kids in the process.

The management of Herón City are faced with a difficult decision: On the one hand they make no money from such events. In fact the mess is left for them to clean up. However, these kids do most probably patronize the movie theatres and bars and restaurants when they are not doing the Saturday night thing, so the management seem to be prepared to turn a blind eye.

I have a great concern as to what happens when it’s all over. Presumably the car owner moves from the boot of the car to the driver’s seat, and in a full state of intoxication he or she drives home. Perhaps they think that they have put the car on auto-pilot and that will keep them, and everyone else safe. Well, it doesn’t work like that!

I can only hope that there are police checkpoints to test for alcohol levels as those young people are leaving the private space and entering the public road. I may be Scrooge-like in hoping that cars and licenses get taken away from offenders who have to then attend driver’s re-education classes, but one sure way to pump up the death rate on our roads is to ignore what is going on and let the kids have their fatal fun. They can still have their Botellón on Herón City property if that is allowed, they simply have to arrange for someone to drive who is sober enough to do so.

If I were young again I confess that the scene would have great appeal. I most probably would be a regular, and I probably would have the biggest, baddest sound system on the lot. But I also hope that I would have the commonsense not to drink myself, or if I did that I had a geeky non-drinking mate with a drivers license who I could trust to get me and my car home without a scratch.

That’s if I were young again. Instead I have a Volvo and a mortgage and I’m in bed before the bewitching hour lest I turn into a pumpkin.

Drive, Drink, Drugs, equals Suicide

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Driving, USA

Published April 22nd, 2007

The attitude of the Americans towards the car is unlike that of any other country in the world. Life is driving! Driving is life! Distances are so vast that to be able to get anywhere you need a car. Of course, there is public transport, but Americans, as has been said many times before, have a love affair with the car.

There was a time when it was fashionable to change your car every year, and still, there are people and companies who would rather lease than buy outright just so they can change the car after a year.

Being a relatively young country, America was able to shape the country to suit modern times. There, the car is king. Cities are built with the car in mind. Here in Europe, the car is an after thought. Here we have to thread our way through narrow lanes that were not designed for motorised traffic, and certainly not of the volume and size required by modern day usage.

There, streets are wide, with flyovers and freeways and spaghetti junctions. For the average European going to the USA for the first time, it really is good common sense to gather as much information beforehand about driving in that country. That rule is good for any country, but particularly so for the United States.

The first thing to know is that American society is the most litigious in the world. There you get sued for just about anything and everything, and this is particularly so in the world of motoring. Anything that goes wrong is not without blame. There are no genuine accidents, someone is at fault and can be sued. There are such things as nuisance suits, where someone will bring a frivolous action that will probably cost at least $5,000 to make it go away. For many people and their lawyers, this is an art form.

Suggestion number One!

You are driving your rental car when you come to a place, such as a sports arena,
where an event has just ended and the street is crowded with people. Do you continue driving at a snail’s pace, or do you stop the car and get out. A cautious American would stop the car, get out from behind the wheel, and if alone he would lock the doors. That way no one can bring a suit alleging that they had been hit by the moving car. There are people who would hold out their arm, or to really push up the price of the settlement they would even let you drive over their foot so that your moving car touches them or leaves evidence on their shoe. (That’s a major settlement, or as some people put it, “it’s payday!”) Otherwise, in “he said-he said” cases it will cost money to simply make the nuisance go away.

Caution number Two:

America is one of the most insular countries in the world. Countless Americans are born and die there without ever stepping foot outside its borders, or even without considering the news from other countries. There are people who think that the Far East is New York. If you fly to a destination that is not one of the main gateways beware when renting a car. I had the experience of flying to a small airport in Virginia that doesn’t see a lot of foreign tourists, so when renting me a car they assumed that I would have my own car insurance in America that covered the car hire. Off I went driving around in a car for which I was completely uninsured. Fortunately the next day, before setting out I reviewed the paperwork and that’s when I realised the mistake. It was twenty-four hours later, more than enough time for me to have become bankrupt.

So, it’s best to hire from companies that regularly serve foreign visitors, and check and double – check the paperwork before leaving the hire company. Ask questions. Lots and lots of questions.

Caution Number Three:

This is appropriate for any country, especially here in Spain, but car theft must always be uppermost in our minds. When you leave your car parked, it would be a good thing to have a reasonable chance of finding it where you left it when you return. To increase the odds of that happening a good steering wheel lock could make all the difference. Car theft is an activity that ideally, from the viewpoint of the thief, should take less than sixty seconds. A car with a good additional lock on the steering wheel that’s hard to defeat will usually be left alone. The driver is not cooperating so the thief picks a car and a more cooperative owner.

Suggestion: Have your own lock to use to safeguard the hire car. Losing your car from outside your own home is inconvenient enough. If you’re thousands of kilometres away the problem is that much worse.

There are useful books on the subject of Driving in America, or Driving in the USA that presumably can be purchased on-line. The chances that your motoring holiday in America will be successful are greatly enhanced by the more knowledge you have. For instance, America is made up of separate States that almost function as Europe does with its separate countries. Not everything is uniform throughout, so if you are going to hire your car in New York and drive to California and leave it there, you need to have a pretty good idea of what you are likely going to encounter over the ten States involved. This includes not only the geography but also the different laws and customs.

Finally, it almost goes without saying that you need a good and reliable partner to help you out of those tough jams that seems to be waiting around every corner. The partner I have in mind is the AAA (Automoblie Association of America).

We will return to this subject at some time in the future, but for now, Good Luck!

Motorcyclist!

Wear a lime-green reflective jacket, both day and night. “Be seen to be Safe!”

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael