The Greatest Trashing

What a sad thing to happen to a good car.

This is really a story of Japan’s overwhelming disasters. It goes without saying that the loss of life, both human and animal are of paramount concern, and much attention has been given to these aspects as it should have been.

Thinking with my transport cap on, my attention was drawn to the many stories of motoring calamities. I was watching one scene of the tsunami carrying things downstream. There were several boats, of various sizes, and houses in bits and pieces; but there were also many cars and trucks and buses that were floating upright. I did a double-take as I could not believe my eyes.

My first thought was whether people occupied them. I would rather not imagine what it would be like to be driving along and suddenly to find myself sailing along. Make no mistake, this is as serious as can be, and my sympathy goes to those who met their untimely deaths, and even more so to their living survivors who have no idea of where the bodies are.

There were two incidents that involved extraordinary good luck. The first was the man whose house was swept from its foundation, and he managed to make it to the roof and was swept out to sea where he was found alive and adrift 16 kilometres off-shore, without drinking water or food. I believe that is as far as his luck extended because I think he lost other members of his family.

The second situation concerned a bus full of tourists who were en-route at the time of the earthquake, and just as the tsunami swept in they were travelling in a direction that put them in direct collision, but at the last minute the bus drove up hill that left the waters to rush on past.

They were securely in the hands of the Gods at that minute.

Copyright (c) 2011 Eugene Carmichael

A lower Speed Limit: The Plot Thickens

They are out to get us!

“The Spanish Government has decided to impose a lower speed limit in order that motorists will use less fuel, thereby saving money.”

My argument was that it is a good idea for motorists to slow down to save fuel as the cost continues on the way up, but do we need a law? Wouldn’t a mere suggestion have been enough for most sensible people? Perhaps, I mused, there’s a hidden agenda.

Well, it’s hidden no longer.

As from the 7th March the following is the case:

Should you exceed 30kph by even one kilometre, (the in-city driving limit) you will be fined 100 euros. (Between 31 and 50 kph.) It’s too bad if your speedometer needs calibrating, that will be your tough luck as the authorities are now taking a zero- tolerance attitude.

There are sliding scales of offences and punishments, such as driving at 81, or more in a 30 kph zone will result in a 600 euros fine, and loss of 6 points. The same formula is set in place for the various other limits, up to and including 110. Of course, there have always been the various limits but drivers along Spain’s roads usually take no notice as we simply do not have the discipline. On one occasion I was stopped for driving at 80 kph in a 60 kph zone. The area was one over which I travelled several times per week, and to make matters worse I had passed four signs along the path warning me that 60 was the maximum. (Bloody cost me 200 euros, a very costly lesson.)

So, this is not about actually simply saving money for the motorists, but rather the government needs to top up the coffers, and as usual governments always look to the soft targets when imposing these types of ex-oficio taxes. It’s true that Spain gets about 20% of its oil requirements from Libya, and while that source has been cut off it will have to roll back demand until the shortfall can be found elsewhere.

The police have been pissed about having had to give up 5% of their pay, so they haven’t been booking people for speeding, so let the radars do it. You pass a radar over the limit and you get a ticket in the mail. That’s all there is to it.

So, they’re out to get you, and this time they’re serious. Come to think of it, they’re out to get me as well. Yikes!!!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Another Fuel Crisis

"Speed Kills!"

It’s time once again for “Another Fuel Crisis” caused by any old excuse. The ultimate goal is to rip-off more money from you and me. I can understand that the civil war in Libya is a major cause of a shortage of fuel, but as with everything else to do with the economic crisis, no-one knows nothing! At least this time the excuse has a little more substance to it.

Spain has mandated by law lowering the speed limit from 120 to 110 kph. Most people don’t adhere to the old law, so unless they really do need to save money, that will have no effect whatsoever.

In England and Holland they have mandated by law the increase in the speed limit, from 70 mph in England, to 80 mph; and in Holland from 120 kph to 130, in the interest of improving productivity. (Whatever that is supposed to mean.)

It is a fact that the faster we drive the more fuel our cars require. So, if we feel that fuel is becoming too expensive we will: (a) use the car less; (b) we will car-pool; (c) we will drive at a reduced speed; and (d) we will switch to motorcycles where possible. What we don’t need the government to do is impose those alternatives upon us by law. When we have a lower speed limit to contend with our chances of breaking the law increase, and so does the likelihood of suffering fines.

In considering that the government impose a very high tax upon each litre of gas sold, it seems to me that the government are shooting themselves in the foot. Perhaps they are trying to seem politically correct about worrying about the costs of using so much petrol, while at the same time planning to extract more money from our other pocket through fines.

I think that I fall within the category of drivers who have no problem staying within the 120 kph limit, but when it comes to slowing down to 20 kph, I don’t do so good. These are the limits where the police have so much success in handing out tickets. We are simply not disciplined enough to apply our brakes when entering a go-slow zone. German and Dutch drivers are admirable in that they do have the self-discipline.

As a general rule I always leave home in good time to allow me to drive at 100kph to arrive at my destination with time to spare, and without stress.

I drive a Volvo, so that should tell you a lot about my driving habits, and also, you should know that the optimum speed limit at which your speed –to- fuel usage is best is 90 kph. Between 90 and 100, the usage increases far more dramatically than ten simple kph would suggest.

One other thing to bear in mind: Speed Kills”

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Mountain Driving in Spain

Lovely but Dangerous

The Montgo Mountain divides Denia from Javea along the coast of Spain, and adds to the beautiful scenery of the area. Recently, my wife and I drove across the mountain in both directions. First she drove, and I enjoyed the scenery, and then I drove on the return trip so that she could also take in the wonderful views. This is a perfect microcosm of mountain driving as it has all the thrill, terror and exciting vistas that you could get from a long drive. But the Montgo is only 7 kilometres, and it has a flat ridge that allows some living space and a wonderful lookout at Cap San Antonio.

Personally, I detest driving in the mountains as the driver has to be so completely focused on the roadway as to make the trip a complete waste of time from his point of view. Your passengers have to describe what they experienced when you arrive at the bar at the bottom. Add to that the fact that I do not really like heights and it becomes clearer of what my problem is.

My friends, who have hiked other mountains show me their pictures of cars that went over the edge and ended up way down below. It would not take much for that to happen, especially as so many idiots seem to think that the very winding, narrow roads are some form of racetrack. If you are the careful driver you can expect to be overtaken on blind bends. What is going through these people’s minds? My description for them is : people with excrement for brains.

I had turned off the main road on the Montgo to drive out to the lighthouse on the point. Evidently I was not driving recklessly enough for the mother with her children in the car behind me as she overtook me on a bend in the road and she could not see whether anything was coming towards her. As I arrived at the parking area she was opening her doors and her children were piling out of the car. Why was she in such a hurry? Nothing much changed in the views even while we were there.

As beautiful as these passages are, I would rather walk them than drive them. I must state that the first time that we drove the Montgo was in the year 2000. We didn’t know what to expect, and it came as a really big surprise that the roadside was on fire. That was apparently caused by someone throwing a cigarette butt into the bush. We had no warning, and we could not turn around and go back.

I never forgot it!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

A Girl and a Motorcycle

Sexy!

For many men, and I’m tempted to say probably the vast majority of men, the two images that strike a chord with us are a beautiful woman, and a beautiful motorcycle. Men are made to respond to the visual, and sometimes we get confused as to which is supposed to do more for us, motorcycles or women when they are put together.

I have been on great motorcycle rides on a Honda Goldwing, and even on much lesser bikes, and the competition between women and bikes must surely be a subject of intense interest to anthropologists. I have rallied with small bikes of 125 cc or even less, and the competitive spirit is in evidence. Mainly we have the men riding and their women holding on tight, perhaps tighter than necessary for safety reasons. When the size of the bikes move up to the 500 cc range the effort on the part of the women also steps up to win the attention of their guys.

Although I ride with clubs on 1500 cc Goldwings, the mindset is a little different because these clubs are gentlemen’s clubs. What the women have to do in order to stay on the radar of their men is to pay a lot of attention to the bike. It becomes a shared passion. To avoid being left at home a Goldwinger’s wife simply has to learn everything she can about the bike, and to take an interest in its upkeep and maintenance.

Such owners are almost religious in the worship they pay to their bikes. The bike must not be taken out on a rainy day, nor on a day that is overcast. During the cold and rainy Winter months the bike is kept indoors, preferably in the living room. The paint job is usually immaculate and shiny, and I suspect a lot of the bikes are also kept covered.

If you really want to see one of these men in uncontrollable tears, damage his bike.

Meanwhile, over in the Harley Davidson camp, things are a little different. Harley riders are a more-hardy breed. The extreme clubs like Hell’s Angels ride Harleys. You cannot be an Angel on a Goldwing. The clubs that cause all the bad press are all likely to be riding Harleys. This all has nothing to do with the Harley manufacturers, but the hard asses tend to drift toward this brand.

To simply watch a Harley rally is something else. One of the images that are stuck in my mind is that of a group of bikers that showed up at a rally with their chicks on the back. The girls were wearing, if you can call it that, a couple of handkerchief-style pieces of material that left nothing at all to the imagination. These girls were serious about getting the attention of their men, and everybody’s else’s, and keeping it. What a sight that was to behold.

Trust me to think about something like this: I thought that was all very well, but I hoped that they didn’t fall off because there would be an awful lot of skin to get scruffed up.

As the weather begins to mellow the time has come for rallies all throughout Europe. These can be quite impressive and a lot of good clean fun for the various clubs, but until you have been a participant in one of the big rallies in the United States where the number of bikes in attendance will be 30,000 or more, you, or I haven’t lived yet.

Just have a very good scientific way to find your bike when you want it.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Formula One Practise

Formula One Practise week in Cheste

I made good on my promise that since Formula One were practising in the racing circuit next door to my town, I would go along and catch some of the action. In spite of the time of year the weather could not have been more accommodating over the three days from February 1st to the 3rd. It was as though someone had taken the sun and given it a good polishing so that it really did shine brightly. It became so hot that we all had to shed our heavy coats and sweaters, and more than one person came away with sunburn.

I was quite amazed by the numbers that came to see these guys practise. They were not racing, it was just going around the track, the wrong way for them, to kick-start their skills after the break. The stands were packed and everybody and his brother brought a camera, but the problem was, there was absolutely nothing to take a picture of, unless you had some kind of pass that allowed you up close to the cars.

On the day I attended, the most exciting thing that happened was that one of the drivers did not give sufficient respect to one of the corners and he spun out. The gasp from the crowd was wonderful. Otherwise, the degree of excitement that registered on everyone’s face was about what you get when watching everyday traffic.

Still, all the big names were present going through their paces and it was good to be back in the season. On a sad note, we could not have had any idea that we were seeing Mr. Kubica’s last Formula One performance for some time. We wish him a full and speedy recovery.

With an uneventful experience from the track I feel I must complain about something. Having arrived fairly early and parked where directed, as usual I walked away from my car without taking any notice of where I had parked it. At that time there were very few cars there. However, everybody and his brother came later and totally overwhelmed the car park, so finding my car took the better part of about 25 minutes of walking up and down and around and around looking for a black car in a sea of black cars. Had my car been stolen I would not have known it until very late in the day.

Even if I had wanted to be more careful there were no section notices. However, security takes the prize for just plain stupidity. It seems that they had some kind of criteria about what could not be taken into the stands, but they set-up their checkpoint after the tickets sales, and about as far away from where you left your car, to stop you and to tell you that you could throw your stuff into their massive container. Bloody fools! A really great way to spoil one’s day out.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

In Court in a Foreign Language

In Court in a Foreign Language-Fascinating

I recently appeared in Court in Spain because on the 14th October, 2009 I was travelling on my motorcycle into my local town. I was entering into a one-way street going into the town, when much to my surprise I encountered a car coming out, travelling the wrong way on this street.

I braked very hard to avoid a crash, but the rear wheel slid on some sand and the bike fell over to the left trapping my leg under it. As the full weight of the bike and myself came down the leg broke. It had been one year and a little more than 3 months since that incident, and the time had come to conclude the matter.

My case took forty-five minutes of Court time. There was the lady judge and her stenographer and a court usher. There was my lawyer, who speaks very little English. The lawyer for the other side was present, and I had a translator by my side.

I was asked to describe the events on the day, which I did in English, and that was translated for me. After I gave my Deposition my lawyer asked me several questions. I did not have a witness so it came down to my word against the driver of the car. I was asked how I could be so certain that the number of the car was so as I said it was, and I explained that the driver of the car was asked to move his car to one side, and at that moment I had the presence of mind to write down the car’s number while the car was before me. I produced the notepad on which I did that, and it was examined at length.

The other lawyer asked me only three questions, to the relief and delight of my lawyer who later said that was because the other lawyer was afraid of what I might say. The car owner was then asked whether he agreed with anything that I had said, or that he confirmed that he was the person in his car who had caused the accident. He said that he was not the one, and that he had never seen me before.

He did help me by admitting that he had visited my village, but not on the day in question, and we both agreed that the colour of his car was brown, although I said it was light brown and he said it was dark brown. Unfortunately I didn’t take a picture of the car and driver at the time, but I had a broken leg. I have no problem with my description of the car, and when he drove away the car went in the direction of his town. But, I think they were trying to confuse me because the man who appeared in Court was not the person who drove the car on the day.

I remember that person as fitting another description, but the man in Court owned the car. That could have been something like if my son borrowed my car and had a problem for which I later appeared in court.

In any event we fully expected a denial from him because he committed two offences on that day. Firstly he was driving the wrong way along a one-way street. Given the appalling street signage in the town that would be very likely unless you really knew the place. Secondly, he left the scene of the incident without sharing information with me, or without even speaking to me to see if I was injured. You would be a very extraordinary person to admit to such offences.

The point of all this is to say that a lot of things are said that are completely not understood by the foreigner, things that are being said about you that affect your possible character. I was told afterwards that the other lawyer was saying that I was lying and that I only wanted to get some money because I was an immigrant. After he had spoken the judge asked me what was my profession and I told her that I am a retired accountant and that changed the colour of the other lawyer’s face.

I was on the correct side of the court in this case. The judge has to decide whether she wants to award compensation to me as prescribed by law, against the owner of the accused car. It’s not possible to tell what the lady was thinking when we left the court, and we shall have to wait and see. I would not want to ever have to go to court for something that I had done in this country, or even in my own country.

I think I have a little sense of the discomfort that people must feel when answering charges in a foreign court far from home. This begs the question: why do people walk into a foreign country carrying drugs? As the saying goes, “when you’re busted over there, you’re in for the hassle of your life.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Formula One Next Door

Formula One Next Door -Simply Fabulous!

I live in a small pueblo in Valencia named Pedralba. We are way out of town in the mountains where nothing much happens and life is a leisurely stroll. I’m not complaining because I happen to think it is as close to Heaven as one can get on earth. However, our next-door neighbour is a pueblo named Cheste which is home to racing fans from all over the world. A lot of things take place there from time to time, most of which I ignore, but on February 1, 2nd, and 3rd, there will be Formula One racing practices ahead of the new season.

If I were to ignore that and I failed to attend even one day, what would be your verdict about my sanity? I have been a critic of such an expensive form of sport during these very difficult times. I’m not even a great fan of the sport, but organisers can’t be more helpful to me to be able to watch really fine driving. They have brought it right to my front door. I’m sure a lot of you will be saying “No way, Jose!” But it is true, so I will go along, prepared to be secretly thrilled.

The venue is the Ricardo Tormo Racing Circuit. It is a 4-kilometre course that hosts many and varied events, including primarily motorcycle racing, 50 c.c, 125 c.c and 250 c.c. Also touring car racing and of course, Grand prix racing. Formula One racing in Valencia is done in the streets of the City, but the track is heavily used for practice.

The normal direction of racing is contrary to Formula One that goes the reverse order, and this places an extra strain on drivers from the G-forces that pull and push neck muscles, but somehow they do manage. It is a very challenging course that does allow speeds to 300 kph.

The Circuit was inaugurated in 1999, and it takes its name from a giant in motorcycling racing, Ricardo Tormo. He was one of Valencia’s favourite sons who died in 1998 after having lost his battle with leukaemia.

The Ricardo Tormo Racing Circuit is a special favourite of speed fans. When they are in town the population of Cheste goes from about 3,000 to about 50,000. It is really something to behold.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Meeting by Accident

Meeting by Accident- Such a sad story.

This will be a very sad story about two beautiful and good people who met by accident. One person is a 16 year-old male student, and devout Seventh-Day Adventist who had been attending a religious rally on the day in question. He was on his way home riding his moped when he met the lady.

The lady was a 37year-old woman who held a job of great significance, and was a person who provided voluntary service to the community. On the day in question she spent the afternoon and evening at a downtown hotel, presumably with at least one friend, but probably with friends where she had copious amounts of alcohol to drink that put her two and a half times over the legal driving limit when she got in her car to drive home.

I will pause here to point out that in a society that I will describe as being a liquid one, in that people habitually drink to excess, it is not all that unusual for people to do as this young woman did, and the road death toll reflects this. It just means that the lessons are yet to be learned and a lot of people will die needlessly in the future until the penny drops.

To return to our story, as this lady “drove” her car fate brought the two people together. Our imaginations would need to work overtime to calculate the number of people she missed along the six-mile course she had travelled until she reached this point. Her car crossed over into the oncoming lane and ran headlong into a stone-wall and flipped over, landing on top of the moped and rider. It continued on and flipped again landing again on its roof. The woman was pulled from the car and taken to hospital, by ambulance, where it was determined she was suffering from minor injuries to her hand and leg.

It was only later that the young man was discovered in a very grave state. She had no idea that she had hit someone. This is what her afternoon of drinking and then driving inadvertently caused::
v He was found barely clinging to life.
v He suffered damaging head wounds and concussion that have left him with permanent intellectual deficit and memory loss.
v He sustained fractures to his jaw, collarbone, and hip.
v He suffered two broken legs.
v His wrist was broken.
v His lungs were damaged causing him respiratory pain and difficulty in breathing.
v He suffered lacerations to other parts of his body, too numerous to mention.
v He has spent three months in the local hospital, and a further month in an overseas rehabilitation clinic.
v He was a good and promising sportsman, but he will never be able to return to sports.
v His future is uncertain.

Her only defence was that she was totally drunk at the time she dropped her car on top of him.

The Court had some difficulty in dealing with the case because she is fundamentally a model citizen, (which is not to say that she had never driven before while impaired by alcohol), but she had no prior convictions against her for anything.. She is a very beautiful woman and no-one took any pleasure in sending her to jail. She realises the seriousness of her actions, and I think that when she is released from prison in one year’s time she will try and help her victim in any way that she can. I also hope that she will receive all the help that she needs to try and pull her life back together.

Her life is ruined in the country where this incident took place. It is also probably ruined in her own mind. She appears to be a person of conscience so will never be able to run away from herself. She said in open court that she hopes her story will resonate within the community so that people learn from it. The judge told her “despite all the good deeds you may perform, it only takes a moment to destroy it all.”

Her lawyer, whose job was to minimize her penalty, said that he hoped that any jail sentence would be suspended due to the mitigating circumstances of the case.

Such as?

This story certainly resonates with me. It could have been my own story as so many times my car drove itself home in my mad days. I was lucky that we managed to avoid gathering any victims, but that is in itself an accident.

The moral of the story is: “Be Responsible. Drink alcohol OR drive. Not both!”

This is just such a sad story. Take care it doesn’t become your own story.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

A Cause for Celebration

A Cause for Celebration -Fewer Road Deaths

The results for 2010 are now in and drivers on Spanish roads can take pride in the fact that for another year the number of those whom we lost on our roads dropped from 1,897 in 2009 to 1,730 in 2010. This is a curious reason for celebrating because, make no mistake about it, 1,730 deaths on our roads resulted in 1,730 caskets, funerals, families with broken hearts. Driving is not supposed to confer a death sentence when you go out to the shopping centre, or on holiday.

I know for a fact that many of those deaths were caused needlessly by very stupid drivers because I see them pass me on their way looking for a tragedy to cause. We are learning, but not fast enough. People, both young and old still drink alcohol and get behind the wheel to go home. I know the type of discipline it takes to avoid doing that. It is something that I practice regularly, and now it comes easy to me. However, in the early stages it was the most difficult thing to do.

When everyone around you is drinking and having fun, to be the one who says no to alcohol is tough. Strangely, your host will try to press you to go ahead, have just one, instead of supporting your choice. Now, all my friends know what I’m like, I doubt that they would pour me a drink even if I asked for it. The choice starts with each and everyone of us.

Eventually the support is given because we all know that driving on these roads stone sober is a horrifying enough experience. I think that the next person who says that he did not intend to cause the death of another while driving carelessly, or excessively fast, or under the influence should be beaten with a whip one hundred times.

So, again congratulations to us drivers on Spanish roads! There were 167 fewer funerals to attend during 2010 and 6,947 fewer funerals (in one year) from the year when the highest loss occurred was

8,677.

These are the statistics that say it all!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

A Drivers New Year Resolutions

A Drivers New Year Resolutions -2011

New Year’s Resolutions are fun. We make all sorts of promises to ourselves in good faith, knowing that we really should keep our word, but equally knowing that by the end of January things will be back to normal. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. So, fellow drivers, please join with me in making some promises to ourselves and to each other that may help to ensure that we get to this point again in 2012.

We promise to drive responsibly and with care for the benefit of ourselves and to others.
We will not drive after consuming alcohol or drugs that may impair our abilities.
We will focus our attention on the matter of driving with due care and attention.
We will drive with discipline and courtesy to other road users.
We will be constantly on alert as to what may happen so that we may be prepared to meet the challenge.
We will observe the speed limits as they are generally well thought out.
We will moderate our speed to suit road conditions.

With those promises in mind 2011 could very well be a good year for driving. Best of good luck to each and everyone in 2011.

These are a repeat of the Resolutions that we made in 2010. With practice we may eventually get it right.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Driving on New Year’s Eve

Driving on New Year’s Eve - Drive Safely

New Year’s Eve is a very strange time of year. Custom has it that we dress up in our finest and spend way beyond our budgets for overpriced goods and services, and eat and drink to excess to welcome in the new year, even though we may not have any idea of what may lie ahead. We do these things completely without thinking and we have all been a part of the madness, unless we are part of a group that does not indulge in such nonsense.

For many years I was at the heart of the event, first working as a waiter to ply my willing guests with champagne, then later as a club manager leading the countdown. When we finally sent the last reveller out into the night I then had to get in my car and drive home. It was always instant justice because I realised that the next driver coming towards me was no longer drinking, he was already drunk. How I survived all those many years can only be summed up as very good luck.

Those were the days when we had no conscience about smoking or drinking. They were the bad old days by comparison with how things are done today. Sure, there are people who continue to do the same old things but at least the authorities are trying to direct behaviour. Here in Spain a zero tolerance attitude is taken towards driving while impaired, and last night every policeman was looking for you if you were driving while impaired by alcohol.

In my native Bermuda we grew weary by the news of the First of January detailing the people who died the night before, and now, every New Year’s Eve the government will pay for the taxi fare to take you home. In spite of many people trying to take advantage by taking a taxi to go from club to club, the program has been incredibly successful.

The new statistics have begun for a new year. This is always a good time for us to make our resolutions, including losing weight and to stop smoking, but also to become more a part of the solution to road madness by doing our best to be better drivers.

I wish each and every driver Happy Highways during 2011 and that life will treat you well throughout this New Year.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Taking Offence

Taking Offence -Maintain Self-Control

There is one thing that almost all drivers seem to have in common, and that is the tendency to take offence from the actions of our fellow drivers. Men and women included, we appear to be ready to fly into a rage if the other driver does something to offend us. For some people they get upset if they simply find that there are other vehicles on the road competing for space.

Driving in the cities is an exercise in stress and rage where you are surrounded by arseholes who should have taken the bus or stayed at home. The least little thing can set a person off. The reason I’m writing about this is that I was waiting in my car at a red light when a couple of people wanted to cross just as the light changed to green. They simply looked at me and barged right in front of my car.

I flew into an incredible rage, which had to do with the effrontery of people who had the nerve to usurp my green light time. How dare they! I drove about a block or two swearing at them and upsetting myself. Finally I calmed down, and then I started to realise that was way over the top.

There are many examples of the person behind who loses his patience because the person in front is a slow poke. At the first opportunity he overtakes and cuts in sharply and goes like a bat out of hell.

Two people fighting over the same parking bay is a fight I would buy a ticket to see. I once saw a man and a woman in such a fight. Both of their cars were stopped in a wedge position where he had tried to drive in before she had backed in. They both were adamant they were right and the argument flew thick and fast. Luckily I was a pedestrian, but even I did not have the time to watch that struggle to its end. Presumably that was how they left their cars parked. They probably both got towed.

If you wake up one morning and decide to go on the road to be the worst nuisance that you can be, there would be no end to the things that you could do to upset drivers. I don’t recommend you do any of these things because you may not see the day through.

You could try passing someone at high speed, then apply your brakes to take the next exit, thereby making the car you just passed slow down
Drive at 60 kph in the centre of three lanes. You may well simply get run over.
Try driving along a two-way street while talking on the telephone at a slow speed.
Stop along a country lane opposite your mate’s car and have a conversation.
Don’t give way at a side street, thereby causing the driver on the main road to swerve.
Finally, only because I could probably go on and on with this; enter the main road with the courtesy of the driver who has moved over to allow it, then get in a race with him to make him stay in the outside lane.

As I said, these are approved suicide measures that are practically guaranteed to work.

As the year draws to an end I ask that we all drive carefully and limit or control our celebrations as we welcome the New Year. A really good thing to do would be to promise ourselves as we start each new day's driving that we won't allow ourselves to be offended by others. This is my usual mantra, and on those days that I forget to remind myself, I find that I can get upset.

I wish you all Happy Holidays, and all the best that life can offer you throughout 2011.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

City Driving Sucks

City Driving Sucks - Valencia, Spain

Around the world driving, and parking in cities pose challenges quite different to country driving. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that cities are not meant for driving in at all. I have been researching several cities to get a feel for what the experience is like in each. Today, I will start with my own city, Valencia, Spain.

Sensibly, we live in the outer suburbs of Valencia in the mountains that are a forest of orange trees. Here life is tranquil and idyllic. From time to time I have to make that dreaded trip into the heart of the city. To do so I usually leave the car parked on the outskirts and take public transport, such as the metro or bus to get to my destination.

On rare occasions I brave it and actually drive into the city. My reasoning on those occasions is that time is short and I don’t have the luxury of parking the car and waiting for public transport. Almost always that is a fallacy because if luck is against me I can get caught up in the crush of traffic for very extended periods of time. Even if things flow smoothly, just the stress alone is not worth it.

First, there are the road works. They are constantly tearing up the road to do something perhaps other than to admire the hole they made. It seems to me that they give motorists only a certain period of time to enjoy unimpeded driving, like two weeks, before starting all over again.

Then you get to somewhere in the area where you need to do business and you look for a parking space. There are several underground parking spaces that grow more expensive seemingly by the day. Most people really can’t afford to pay these rates on a daily basis, so they park on the street. If you are really lucky to find an on-street parking spot, as in winning-the-lottery kind of luck, you will find when you get back to your car that another line of cars have been parked alongside yours, effectively locking you in for the foreseeable future.

Supposedly, the drivers will leave their cars in neutral with the handbrake not engaged, but there is always at least one person who doesn’t do that, and everybody gets screwed. What you can do is call the authorities and ask them to come clear away the illegally parked second line. Just don’t let it get out that you were the one who dropped the dime.

For some strange reason, people who do park “in doble fila” thereby making a double line engage their hazard lights that draw attention. When the cars are being taken away hooked up to the tow truck, everybody knows that your car didn’t simply breakdown. They know what you did wrong.

Valencia’s city roads feature several points where there will be a line-up of about eight to ten lanes of traffic that needs to squeeze into two lanes as it crosses the street. Sometimes, to add excitement, interconnecting roads are added to a semi-circular turn; and to top it all off drivers on Spanish roads know absolutely nothing about lane discipline. It is not uncommon to have a driver completely cross all lanes honking and yelling as he goes.

At the time of the city’s greatest fiestas, Las Fiestas de la Fallas” about 600 of the city's roads get closed off. You have to imagine the chaos. I can’t possibly describe it.
Add to all that stress are the boy racers and the death wishers, and the buses and bloody taxi drivers who are convinced they own the road, and by the time you leave the city your nerves will be a wreck.

Here’s the really very curious thing: in travelling into the city in eleven years I have never come upon an accident scene except the one in which I was involved. That happened because I stopped behind a column of cars at a red light and a real prize winning, well-dressed businessman jerk, driving a BMW drove up the back of me because he was talking to his passenger while looking directly at her. This was a man who has excrement where his brain is supposed to be.

When visiting Valencia with the need to get around town, if you bring your car with you I think you should choose a hotel on the outskirts and take public transport always.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

DGT goes High Tech

DGT goes High Tech -Now speeding tickets on-line.

You and I are cordially invited to sign up to the Direcion General de Trafico on-line as a means of modernising the service. In the fullness of time they intend that this will be a means of reminding owners when the time is due for your ITV test; your insurance renewal, or that road taxes are due.

However, to begin with they will use the service as a means of notifying a driver that a traffic ticket is outstanding against the car. The method of doing this has been notification through the mail and on the Official Bulletin. For most foreigners we have not the slightest idea of where to find the bulletin, so we have to wait to receive notice through the post.

Most people have no clue that there may be a ticket outstanding, which could have arisen from any number of things, like passing a radar box a little too fast, or talking on the phone and being spotted by an officer.

My faith in the authorities to properly inform me of things I need to know is sadly lacking, especially given my last encounter.

We received a letter through our post box that stated that the authority tasked with bringing in taxes for trash collection has tried on several occasions to contact us, but evidently without success. They were trying one last time to notify us that the tax was due and would have to be paid with the penalty for late payment included. Failure to do so would lead to even higher penalties and would involve the tax authority, Hacienda.

Lying bastards!

All they had to do was address a letter to us at our post box and we got it. They simply waited until the time period when they could add a penalty, thereby boosting the council’s coffers. We all know that town councils are hard pressed for cash, but this is taking things too bloody far.

I have known people who found that they had a ticket that was outstanding for years, and it only came to light when they sold their car and tried to transfer ownership. That is when they discovered that a ticket written today can be like a bond. In many years from now it could be quite valuable, not for you, but for the government.

So, I think this might be a good thing, that if I do have a ticket outstanding then I need to know about it immediately so that I can deal with it.

For more information go to http://www.dgt.es/

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Dangerous Driving

It's Dangerous Driving-Stay Safe

Driving is one of those simple things that we take for granted, in that whatever country we live in, we drive in, even if it’s the most dangerous country in the world to get behind the wheel of a car. We compound matters when we decide to take a driving holiday, even if it means going from a safe country to one where they are all mad. We just don’t think about it.

I was looking up some statistics of road deaths per 100,000 population. These are figures from the mid 1990s, and I’m sure things have changed one way or the other, but in considering the list of worst cases, the Spanish will tell you that it is no surprise to see that Portugal was at the top of the list with 24.9 road deaths per 100,000. That still did not deter Spaniards from taking a driving holiday to Portugal. See what I mean?

Greece was second with 23.3; Venezuela was third with 22.3; The Russian Federation was tied with Venezuela, although it was ranked as fourth. Cuba was fifth with 18.3; Poland was next with also 18.3; and Mauritius was seventh with 17.8.

Colombia, in spite of its notorious reputation for drug running was number eight with 17.4, although a whole lot more people died at the hands of the cartels. Hungary was ninth with 17.0 people per 100,000, and number ten was Slovenia with 14.3. Spain, with it shameful track record in the mid 1990s didn’t make it into this list, which tells us a lot about the actual numbers of people who died on the roads of the countries on the list.

What about the list of the ten safest countries? Who gets the grand prize for keeping its citizens the safest?

You won’t get any prizes for guessing the country at the top of that list. It was Sweden, of course, the maker of the Volvo. They lost only 5.7 people out of every 100,000 to death on the road. That is remarkable considering the kinds of Winters they endure.

They were followed by The Bahamas with 6.1, and the U.K. were third with 6.2. From here it continues to get worse with Norway, 6.6, The Netherlands with 7.7, and Finland with 7.9. These are all cold countries that require driving on ice, but they don’t make the Volvo. (Yea, I own a Volvo.)

At number 7, Trinidad and Tobago came in with 10.3. They don’t have ice, except in their rum and coca colas, and if you are sipping a cool one while listening to the steel band you might become a little distracted. I’m not saying that is what people there do, but it would be good advice not to do that.

For number eight we have to go to Canada with 10.4, and then Israel with 10.6, and finally at number ten we have Australia who are actually tied with Israel.

So, where was Spain in all this? Presumably, somewhere between 10.6 and 14.3.

In 2005, it seems that the road death rate in The United States was 14.71. That was approximately 43,510 persons, but in subsequent years the picture has become more encouraging as deaths have declined down to 33,808 in 2009. That’s 11.01 per 100,000 people. Interestingly, we are seeing the same decline here in Spain that has changed from the bad ole’ days of over 6,000 to last year’s result of 1,897.

We are all holding our breath that the number will be less than that for 2010. Keeping in mind that no-one really has to die just for getting behind the wheel or on a motorbike, the death of just one person is one death too many. It means that some family, somewhere has their lives turned upside down because a member of their group didn’t come home.

Drive carefully. Preserve your life for the people who love you!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

The Police Helicopter

The Police Helicopter - On patrol from above.

I was leaving my housing estate when I came to the exit. Across the road was a huddle of police officers from all three divisons, the Guardia Civil, the National Police, and Policia Local. I have never understood the difference between the National Police and The Guardia Civil, and I haven’t found anyone who knows. The Policia Local confine themselves to their own town and their activities are limited, but I thought that the Guardia Civil did everything else.

As I drove up to the exit I stopped to put a CD in the player, but the police looked at me as though I might have been reluctant to pass them. When I was ready I set off without being challenged by them, and as I drove within the speed limit I enjoyed the music. I usually drive within the speed limit so there was nothing unusual about that. That stretch of road is a severe temptation for speed freaks because it is very straight, but narrow and accommodates two-way traffic but I don’t feel the need for speed these days.

There have been some serious crashes along that road because of the reason of speed. I always fear that if I am speeding and overtaking I will collide with either an animal that wanders onto the road, or a vehicle will enter the road while I am on the wrong side, so I have always resisted the temptation.

I was nearing the end of the stretch when I suddenly noticed overhead the police helicopter flying a path that coincided with the road, and more importantly he had been following me. He went on ahead of me then did a wide turn and went back the way he had come. It was then that I passed the group of police that would have stopped me if they had instructions to do so from above.

I was listening to music so the chance of me hearing the helicopter was nil. My windows were wound up and the music was blasting as I was listening to a very powerful piece. This was the first time I had ever been the centre of attention from the air and I must admit I didn’t like it at all. However, the feeling must be sort of having been shot at, and missed.

The moral of the story I suppose is that Big Brother is watching when we least expect. We know about the cameras and the radars along the road, and the police who lay in wait, but surveillance from the air is truly something else.

Be aware and ever vigilant. They’re out to get you!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Top Gear

Top Gear

This is a television program that stars Jeremy Clarkson. I mention it in case you are one of the very few people who did not know that. I am at a loss to describe the show from the standpoint of being a critic because I look forward to each episode, even though it really is a very silly show. It’s a show about cars, and Jeremy and his associates do the most outrageous things in them, and with them, and they say the most preposterous things in criticising certain makes of cars, all, it seems with the agreement of the car manufacturers.

The current season aired the last program, and that left the cast very sad. I must confess that I am sad also, not because it was real quality television, but because I liked it even though I am hard put to explain why. However, the one thing about which I am not confused is the fact that my son and I watched the program together, and there are precious few things that a father and his son get to do together these days.

I’m fairly certain that Jeremy Clarkson did not set out to bring fathers and sons together, but it does work, so that’s a good thing. The fact that the last show of the season featured the ultimate petrol-head in the world, Jay Leno, who owns more than 240 cars was a real thrill.

Now, bring on the re-runs.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

A Whole new World of Electric cars

A Whole new World of Electric cars - very exciting!

In my last column I wrote about the phenomenal development of Vislab’s driverless cars that covered 15,000 kilometres driving themselves. Now we need to turn our attention to serious advances in electrically driven cars, and cars that drive on compressed air.

Many columns ago when I was addressing yet another crisis at the pump, I assumed that there were all manner of new developments under wraps somewhere. After all, there are huge investments in the fossil fuel driven industry, and it was my suggestion that there are probably some very good ideas that are collecting dust because their time had not yet come.

Now we are seeing the toll on the atmosphere caused by the damage from burning fossil fuels, and that is bringing forward the need for “new” technology. It’s about time, and I think we are in for some mind-boggling developments.

We already have the hybrid, and in spite of some teething problems the idea is very practical, especially for taxis. A large proportion of their jobs take them within the city, and city driving is perfect for electrical motors. The first big advantage is the reduction of contamination from exhaust fumes. For the driver, it is a cheaper cost to make the trip, and that allows for a greater share of the fare to remain in his pocket.

The thing that excites me is that so many companies are now rolling out their concept cars. If you check the picture gallery on the internet you will find seventy pages, each containing twelve pictures of various designs, some of which are very futuristic. Some of the names I saw were: Toyota, Nissan, Honda, Ford, that may offer three models; Mitsubishi, Chrysler, that may offer a version of its Dodge Ram truck as an electric; Volkswagon, General Motors, and companies called BYD, CODA, THINK, and Fisher Karma.

Many of the models are hybrids that are important for people who do long distance driving. The electric motor will carry you within the city, saving the gas guzzling for
Out of town. But many are pure electric, and they are often designed for parking in very confined spaces. Frankly, it is for this reason alone that I would buy at least a hybrid if the car were small enough to allow me to park downtown.

Another thing that is exciting is that of driving a car that is powered by compressed air. It surprised me that this technology was around even before the internal combustion motor, but is now starting to be given the respect it deserves.

As a pure green machine it does not meet the mark because in order to obtain compressed air the burning of fossil fuels is necessary to produce the electricity. However, while running it produces absolutely no emissions at all, and helps tremendously in the air that we breathe.

So, the good news is that a whole new host of new stuff is coming down the pike and the world of motoring just got a big kick where it matters. Standby to watch the passing parade, and hopefully be a part of the mission to lower the pollution rate of our world.

It’s the only world we have!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Cars that Drive Themselves

Cars Move On

On the occasion of turning fifty I wrote a two-page column that I entitled “The First Fifty years.” That was twenty-one years ago. In that piece I looked back over my fifty years, including warts and all and declared that so far was so good. I was a father and a grandfather, so I was happy. And then, in a flight of pure fancy I stuck my neck out and tried to envisage what life might grow to be like in the next fifty years.

A couple of my political suggestions have come to be fact, and while I tried to be broad based some of my thoughts might turn out to have been a little wild. However, one of my wildest thoughts to do with driving is now actually a fact: the motorcar that drives without a human, along a normal road.

In a spectacular experiment over a three-month period, (but fifteen years in preparation) a group formed between an Italian company called Vislab and the University of Parma, set four driverless Piaggio Porter minivans on a successful path between Italy, through Belgrade, in Eastern Europe, and through Russia and China, to the city of Shanghai on the Eastern shore of China, a journey of some 15,000 kilometres. I am frankly surprised that this feat of engineering has not been met with the same enthusiasm from the media as the Moon Landing, as it signifies a breakthrough of that importance.

What I saw in my vision was a solution to the mayhem that is caused by entrusting the driving to humans. I reasoned the only solution is to have cars drive themselves along pre-planned paths to the supermarket of your choice; or the bank, or to work, etc. I did not envisage that it would be possible to do this over a distance of 15,000 kilometres. I especially did not see that this could be achieved without using one drop of gasoline or diesel. Yes, this was done by using electric cars!

Each minivan was equipped with six laser scanners, seven cameras; GPS, and on-board computers. On their roofs there were installed solar panels for the recharging of batteries, although the panels were not adequate, so a companion generator truck kept batteries topped up.

The first hurdle the team encountered was that almost all countries have written within their laws that it is unlawful to operate a vehicle along the highways without a driver. Now, what do you suppose made lawmakers include that one on the books? Provided that an actual person was sat behind the wheel, permissions were given for the experiment to proceed.

The trip was deliberately designed to test the cars with the extremes of heat and cold, dry and wet, wind and snow, and pedestrians. As with normal driving, there are some conditions that will defeat all moving things, and the robotics didn’t very much like heavy rain and blinding snow. Neither do I, so I can emphasize. However, the director of the project, Alberto Broggi, seems to be very satisfied that the software ran exceptionally well, and the hardware was spot-on. They have identified the weak points and will rollout new versions when they mount the second test in 2012.

This is such an exciting project, the future technological developments arising from it are hard to anticipate. To have had four vehicles drive 15,000kilometres each, that’s 60,000 kilometres without major incident, and without a human controlling the car is mind blowing. The only accident came when a journalist accidentally disabled a function that made the car drive gently into a wall.

The only fine came when a policeman would not believe that the experiment had the official blessing of his government. This was because the cars were in a pedestrian only zone being tested among pedestrian traffic. When he discovered that the vehicles were driving themselves he wanted to write a sanction that was double that of what it might otherwise have been.

See what I mean about how man can pretty much screw up just about everything?

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Nude while Driving

Nude while Driving - No actual pictures available. Pity that!


You have to wonder what people are thinking when they are found operating a vehicle while improperly dressed, or engaged in improper activities. True, amorous couples get up to all sorts of things while in transit. Just ask any taxi driver. Recently a man was found to be committing masturbation while driving through the city of Valencia during the day. I’m sure that was part of a bet.

Lately, the police came across a man who was riding pillion on a bike while completely nude. Judging by his reaction he was under the influence of drink, but that does not excuse his behaviour, it just makes it worse. How drunk does one have to be to strip off all your clothes and go out in public?

At this moment I'm thinking about all those people who do strip off all their clothes and go out in public, completely sober to register some form of protest or another, but that, as "they" say is another story.

The police stopped him and tried to get a straight answer, but he was violent and abusive to the point of being funny. The police played their part in the comedy by asking for his identity. You get no prizes for guessing what he used for his id card.

Sometimes the best comedy is no farther away than your daily paper.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Dangerously Stupid People

Dangerously Stupid People


There are entirely too many dangerously stupid people behind the wheels of cars and trucks on the roads of Spain. I mean people who are not just reckless for the sake of being reckless, but people who are so stupid that they don’t realise that they are so.

I don’t know what nationality these people are but these are some of their driving habits:
- They drive from side roads onto main roads by only stopping when they are far enough out into the road to see whether anything is coming or not. I encountered one of them a short time ago. The man was entering the main road from between two buildings that completely blocked his view. By the time this idiot could actually see half of his car was protruding into the street. We did not have a crash because I was aware of the exit and of the habits of some of these drivers, and only because the other side of the road was free of traffic that allowed me the space to anticipate the thing that happened. Otherwise I would have crashed broadside into the lunatic. He looked at me as though I was invading his space.
- They drive through stop signs as though they do not exist. It seems that they assume that the sign does not pertain to them. However, even worse, I have come to realise that many of the old time Spanish drivers are completely unaware of what the sign means. They never took a theory exam, and stop is not a Spanish word, so they could argue that they do not know its meaning, although they could reasonably guess by the shape of the sign and its position.
- People who park their vehicles on opposite sides of a narrow road next to an exit. They simply have no consideration for anybody as the person exiting the side road cannot see if there is any traffic, and the cross traffic is forced into a single lane, so the set-up is complete for a crash.
- People who drive their vehicles along the autopista while chatting away at less than sixty kph. Sixty is the legal minimum speed, but even that will bring vehicles from behind travelling at 120 kph dangerously quickly upon them. Meanwhile these dopey people are smoking and talking as though they were at home in their living rooms.
- So many people think that just because they are situated in the far left lane it should not be a problem if they want to go off to the right, and proceed to cross over five lanes of traffic without a care in the world. This is the manoeuvre that absolutely takes my breath away and should win first prize in the dumb and dumber sweepstakes.

The only thing that is of any comfort is that they will soon be gone, killed in action. The bad news is that they will likely take someone else with them. We can only hope that the second person will be another Dangerously stupid Person.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Stereos on Wheels

Stereos on Wheels

Who do we hate the most? We hate the guy driving his stereo on wheels as he comes into our space, and he is blasting his sound system, particularly his mega bass. The system cost him many thousands of euros, so he wants to share his sound with everybody he can.

He is grooving on the latest track from his favourite artist and he is absolutely certain that you will appreciate even a short sound bite.

Wrong!

There is not much that beats loud sounds that interrupt our relative peace and quiet to royally piss off most people. Firstly, he is the only one to fully appreciate the full sound. For those of us on the sidewalk we get the bass. We may even get the high notes, and we have to put the rest together in our minds, if we know the song.

One such terrorist from the neighbourhood decided that he wanted all his neighbours in their condos to hear his concert. He waited until evening time when people were having their meal. He opened all the doors of his car, including the boot, and he pumped up the volume that shook people’s plates on the table.

There was much shaking of fists and yelling from the balconies, which he took as “Go man, go!” He couldn’t actually hear what they were saying as the music was blaring. Finally the police were called in and they heard for themselves, and said something like “ Ostraa! That’s bloody loud.” They approached the car and turned the damn thing off and wrote the guy a ticket for deliberately disturbing the peace.

He went to court and was surprised to get a royal ticking off from the judge about respecting the reasonable rights of his neighbours to peace and quiet. He was then given his punishment: a fine of 2,400 euros, and he was advised that the judge had the latitude to vary the fine between 600 euros and 6,000 euros. If he should ever appear before the courts again for a similar offence it would be easy to guess what the fine would be.

Believe it or not, this happened in Valencia, the noise capital of Spain.

Anybody want to buy a secondhand sound system? It’s really good!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

The Devils Own Roads

Danger awaits along The Devils Own Roads

There are a number of roadways that were designed by the devil himself, simply for the purpose of bringing drivers to grief. They exist all over Spain, and probably in other countries as well, but the road authorities will not admit to their existence, because then the public will demand that the problems that they present be corrected.

What a bloody shame that to sue the bastards would be an exercise in futility. Imagine that, to be cavalier as you wish without any real possibility of redress.

I recently wrote about car crashes along straight roads, and I put it down to inattention, but I have found out the hard way that there can be another culprit: there are all those roads that are narrow and that lack a barrier. Vehicles find themselves come to ruin because when two vehicles are passing, it is very likely that if your judgement is just a little bit off and you drift too far to the right you will simply fall off the freaking road.

You cannot have any real idea of where you are, and all it takes is for the front right hand side wheel to slip off the tarmac and in the ditch you go. This happened to my son along a strip of road that claims at least one unlucky vehicle a week, according to the personnel at the nearby service station and the recovery vehicle driver.

The farm owner showed up to survey the latest “damage” to his rusty and ripped fence. He said that the government wants to buy a strip of his garden to widen the road, but he doesn’t want to sell. I suppose the situation will persist until someone is killed, and probably even beyond, as this situation should have been rectified long ago. However, no-one will make the necessary move to make a compulsory purchase.

In reality, these types of road systems are ancient and were made to serve horse and cart traffic, or at best they served Seat 600 toy cars. However, today all manner of traffic can be expected, including the very large buses and trucks. It is just a matter of time before a bus will meet a truck and they will both fall off the road into the ditch.

Such roads as these are best avoided at all costs, even if a long detour is involved. To travel along them may incurr a cost too great to bear.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

The Go-Slo Guardia

Police on the Go-Slo

The only reason this is news worthy is because it involves a de facto strike by part of the nation’s police service, and that can only mean a little bit of a slide towards anarchy. The Guardia have had their salaries cut by 5% as part of Spain’s austerity program. At the same time drivers have been warned that our behaviour on the road is being closely monitored and that we will likely be fined for things that we got away with before. This is because town halls are suffering with cash shortages.

However, the police feel hard done by in the loss of part of their salary. On top of that they are being asked to work harder to bring in money from any source that they can, and they have decided they are not having it.

To see the political head of their department castigating the officers for not writing tickets is a little disturbing, and a little sad. I suppose that as a driver I feel somewhat relieved not to be under such intense vigilance from the standpoint that someone is just waiting for me with his pen poised, but I hope it doesn’t lead to people relaxing their sense of responsibility.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Valencia: Big Brother is Watching!

Valencia: Somebody is watching your every move!

The news this week is that the department for traffic flow in Valencia have completed the setup to monitor traffic over 300 kilometres of roadway in the province on a 24/7 basis. There are now 700 cameras watching our every move. That could be both good and bad. Good from the standpoint that reckless and dangerous driving will be seen in real time and a police car will be sent to rein the offender in. Good also because where there has been a crash, one where it could be his word against yours, the truth can now be backed up by the tape.

This is especially important for those crashes that take place on roundabouts. We are notoriously bad at lane discipline. It is a wonder that there are not more “accidents” due to wrong-lane placements.

You have to wonder what the driver, who is in the extreme left hand lane is thinking when he wants to go to the right. With 50 monitors the live and unrehearsed images are played out around the clock, so very little will escape the attention of Big Brother.

I consider myself a fairly responsible driver, but I do make mistakes, especially with traffic lights. I have seen the red on far too many occasions. It’s not something I do deliberately but a mis-timed approach to the lights that are on orange, with a madman on my tail who thinks we should keep going, and I find myself pushed through the red light.

That is a difficult situation because if I do stop that will probably mean a crash into me. There has to be time enough for me to stop and to control the person behind me. I usually don’t have to worry about the driver if it is a she, but guys are something else.

Now I feel doubly uncomfortable in that the roads administrators are watching me commit such an infraction. I have to remember that as I am going through on red someone on the other side is beginning to move off while his light is still red. This is not a good thing. I must say that this is a very rare thing to happen because I am usually moving at a rate that is calm enough for me to stop, as well as to bring the person behind me to a stop as well. But once in a long while it doesn’t quite work out like that.

Should you believe that a tape of your crash can help, you have to obtain a copy from the Sala de Control de Trafico before it is destroyed in 30 days. Good luck!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Disaster on a straight Road

Don't fall asleep on a long straight Road

I suppose being a trained crash investigator you likely would not be as confused as us laymen when coming upon a crash site. For the general public, it can be very difficult to piece together how something happened. What first appears to be the likely scenario need not be the facts of the matter at all.

For instance, I came upon a scene where there had been a head-on collision on a blind corner. Was it possible that the offending car was taking the corner on the wrong side? I suppose that was possible but it would have been a death wish.

Another road crash happened on a bridge with two-way traffic. It seems that a vehicle, that had been taken away, had side-swiped the right hand side security railing, continued on across the road and slammed into the left railing without involving another vehicle.

How does this happen? It has to involve carelessness. I have seen how some people drive while talking on the phone or talking to a passenger while looking at that person. All it takes is a turn of the head by a very little degree and the hand follows. This happens to the most careful drivers and might involve simply turning the radio or the air-conditioning unit on.

Then there are the super drivers who are indestructible. They whiz in and out of traffic lines, always at speed with the attitude that nothing can harm them. I think I understand this attitude because I have been there and done that. But this type of stupidity is dangerous and probably will cause somebody’s family a lot of grief.

The latest incident that is causing me to scratch my head was a car that I watched being hauled out of the side of the road. The car was a total loss and was completely covered with brown earth. Evidently it had rolled several times grinding up the earth like a farm machine. This happened along a straight stretch of road and within a fairly short distance.

Alice, in her Wonderland would say, “curiouser and curiouser!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

To drive in Paradise

To drive in Paradise and not be distracted by the beauty.

My island home, Bermuda is truly a paradise. When I lived there the idea would occasionally occur to me, but it strikes me full on when I go back to visit, as I now live in Spain. There are many aspects that I could focus on, but for the time being I want to concern myself with driving.

I have worked at most things in my life, if only for short periods of time. One occupation was that of taxi driver. Whenever I picked up a fare from the airport, if the people were first time American visitors the routine went like this: They would pile all their luggage into the car and off we would go. They would have a conversation about how things went through immigration and customs, and the flight down, and the first sighting of the island and the beautiful blue water. Then they would realise that I was driving on the wrong side of the road and there would be silence.

Then, as though this was a question that everybody rehearsed at JFK airport before they left, somebody would ask :” do you drive on the left side of the road here?” Well, I have been doing so for the past five minutes, so that had better be the rule.

The speed limit is 35 kph. These people have come from a country where the limit is 100 kph, so they are expecting me to reach the main highway so that I can put my foot down. Sorry! It doesn’t get any better than what I’m doing at the moment. Most Americans have double beds that are wider than our roads.

So, imagine conditioning yourself to drive at that speed each time you set out to get someplace. For the foreign driver this is a tough discipline, but for locals it’s no big deal because there is so much traffic on the roads that driving faster is not an option. When I left the island, to be overtaken by another car was a common thing, but in eleven years the lines of traffic have filled in to such an extent that overtaking is no longer possible.

Having said that, you will find all manner and types of cars on the road. Size is the only limiting criteria. Most small versions of Mercedes, Audi, BMW, and other top brands are represented, but it seems like such an abomination to own such a performance car and not to be able to get over 35 kph.

The other noteworthy thing is that everyone seems to be driving a new car. When last I looked there was a busy second-hand car market, but these days almost every car is a fairly new model. One great negative about Bermuda is that, as a small island, salt air plays havoc with cars. Rust is public enemy number one. It is really heartbreaking that the motor may be perfect but the frame is rusting away.

Now I have to really stretch your imagination because we have said that it isn’t even possible to drive faster than 35 kph, but nonetheless the island habitually records about 20 deaths per annum. They occur mostly with motorcycle riders, and I believe alcohol is a factor, but not always. Add to that car and truck drivers manage to drive their vehicles into one another (slowly) due to a lack of due care.

This is a profile of life in the driver’s seat in Paradise. When everybody does their part it is a stress free exercise driving along some of the most beautiful roads in the world, but Bermuda is one of those very liquid societies that likes it drink, especially the Dark ‘n Stormy. That may be fine, but not if you have to drive.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Vacation’s End

Vacation’s End - Back to Reality!

A Columnist and Blogger is never completely on vacation. In fact, when such people travel away from home we are in reality collecting more experiences and ideas to write about. I have completed a trip to my native Bermuda and the United States, and that has resulted in a head full of future titles.

One of the first things to occur to me is that I have become a reluctant traveller, especially by airplane. I admit that air travel is still the fastest and safest, but what a complete pain in the ass it is. Even before you get to the aircraft itself there is all that hullabaloo over security. We have to practically get naked before they let you into the secure zone. There is a long list of things that you must abandon at the checkpoint, only to be able to buy them at the duty-free.

Then there are the delays and lost luggage and grossly overpriced items in the airport, and the long waits between flights.

On the flight back to Spain I awoke at 6am in The United States, and we made up six hours as we flew through six time zones, and we landed at Valencia at 7:30 am the following day. Throughout that time I didn’t actually sleep, although I closed my eyes for a few hours. I got off the plane, went directly home and straight into bed. My internal system has been totally screwed up ever since.

However, these are the challenges one must endure to make personal contact with family and friends, and from that point of view it was definitely worth it. Part of the reason for going to Bermuda when I did was to be a part of my family reunion. Perhaps as many as five or six hundred members of my direct and extended family made contact under the very best of circumstances. No-one had to die to bring us together, we just got together to celebrate our being-ness over four days, and that is the best reason of all.

Now I am home and back to the reality of one day at a time. It was a wonderful experience and also one that was a little horrifying at times as the whole included discovery, joy, warmth, work, hurricane, murder and multiple shootings that were too close for comfort.

As I have said, I now have a head full of stories to share, so perhaps you might like to stay tuned.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael