Springtime and Motorhomes

For many of my compatriots in the retirement community, come springtime and they get restless, having been cooped up in the house over the cold months and they want to spread their wings. Time to dust off the home-away-from-home and head for the open road. Freedom calls!

This is a subject that is treated with different outlooks in every major country around the world. The  countries that lend themselves particularly well to life on the road are The United States of America, Canada,  and Australia. This is because of so much open space that allow for the ultimate in large motorhomes to circulate more freely.

However, the tradition of life on the road is particularly valued in Great Britain and Europe, with Europe being the winner in so far as a variety of countries that are accessible from the comfort of the driving cab is concerned.

There exists a wide variety of ways in which to travel the road in your mobile house, governed only by price. First some definitions: A Campervan, (sometimes called a camper, or Caravanette) is usually a smaller version of a Motorhome or Recreational Vehicle (RV). However, it can accommodate two to three people in moderate comfort, and is self driven.

A Caravan is an unpowered version of the same, but because it needs to be towed it requires a car with the power and the weight to be able to haul it up steep inclines and to control it going down the other side.

A Camping Car is a Station Wagon that converts into a full double bed; and then there are many varieties on this theme.

The ultimate in travel in mobile homes can be found in The United States, Canada and Australia where full size busses are used to create pure luxury. Many such models are far better appointed than most fixed homes and apartments.

For approximately $500,000 you could get one of these super road yachts with a floor plan that goes something like this: As you enter the vehicle from the front door that is found in the usual place you pass through the cab which gives the appearance of a spaceship. You are now in the living room with very nicely appointed sofas that double as sleep accommodation. Above the cab is a 32" television; and of course a full music system and as we move down the bus we come to a dining area on one side and across the other side we find a full kitchen with pantry, dishwasher, stove, microwave and oven, refrigerator with ice dispenser, and sink with trash compactor.

There is an electric heater to warm the communal area, as well as air-conditioning and  fans throughout. Next we come to a soundproofed toilet and on the other side of that there is the master bedroom with its own ensuite full bathroom with shower. It too can be equipped with large screen television.

As we pass through the luxurious and sumptuous bedroom we find at the back of the bus ample storage space for linens and extra bunk beds especially for young children.

Under the living space there is room to store all the necessaries, including a small garage for motorcycles and pedal cycles, etc.

Some people simply choose this way of life as a permanent arrangement, having sold the family home in favour of life on the road. The added incentive of being able to cross borders freely in Europe is a powerful lure. 

I have not yet personally given in to the joys of being a constant traveller, albeit living life at a very comfortable level, but it's one of the things on my "To Do Bucket List."

We'll have to wait and see.

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

Professionalism should be applauded

I make a certain journey often enough to almost call it a regular commute. Twice along this journey the National Police have conducted document checks imposed on a random selection of drivers. The first time it happened I was one of those excused from examination, but the second time a different officer was in charge of selection. He took one look at me and I could see plainly what he was thinking by the expression on his face.

I am a foreigner driving my classic Jaguar Sovereign, which is a nice car, albeit somewhat aged in the tooth. His expression asked the question: what are you doing driving this car?

I stopped where indicated, shut down the engine and produced the documents required, even follow-up documents to the ones that should have given them comfort that all was in order. The particular officer was having some difficulty in accepting that nothing was out of place, but eventually he did, apparently to the slight embarrassment of the officer who held my documents, because he actually said, "Lo siento" when handing my documents back.

Ironically, that same day I drove into the parking lot at the Estacion del Tren Norte in Valencia city. I parked and realised that a vagrant and his girlfriend were taking undue notice in my car and I was reluctant to walk away from it. The time was 4:45pm and I didn't notice that four National Police had entered the vicinity and to them I was acting suspiciously by staring at the two people and by taking steps towards them.

The police came up to me and demanded my identification, which I promptly surrendered to them all the while explaining that I thought I had a problem with the vagrants. They checked out my documents and apparently they were speaking to the same person who confirmed my documents in the morning. What has he done now? Where you about 100 klms away this morning, I was asked. Yes, I was and your colleagues stopped me to check my documents in a routine stop.

Seems this is your lucky day, stated the officer. (Smiles all round.)

However, the reason they had arrived at the train station was due to the fact that fifteen minutes earlier in London a lone terrorist had struck down several people ending in the deaths of four, including himself, plus injury to about 40 others.

I find the security forces in Spain to all perform to a very high standard of professionalism in any dealings I have had with any of the branches, but I would much prefer to be on the same side as they rather than on the wrong side.

Just to be able to say that makes this a wonderful country to be living in.

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael 

That Time of year again

We here in Valencia are hard at celebrating our annual Fallas festival. The season was started in very late February, and it seems to get earlier every year. One reason we put forward in making a whole lot of noise is to scare away the old man of Winter. It always seems to work so why change it if it ain't broken.

As always, many of those downtown Valencian residents head out of town when the noise starts. It's fine for those of us who live in the suburbs as we can still get to sleep throughout the whole of the festival. When you live downtown there continues lots of noise late into the night, and to make matters worse it all starts again at eight o'clock in the morning as they come to wake you up.

Effectively Valencia shuts down against motorised traffic because so many streets are closed as they have Fallas monuments planted right in the middle of them. That's one reason why residents take their cars and head for the mountains. Fallas, as wonderful as it is becomes old hat after a while and we Valencians become jaded. Perhaps it's better to attend  every few years to keep it fresh.

It is so liberating to walk around to view the fine work that has gone on over the past year without having to be confined to sidewalks. There are so many people who head for the city as they consider that to be the main event that we can barely move. However, every pueblo has it's own contribution so there is no real need to go elsewhere, but people feel the need to at least visit the city at least once.

Part of the excitement is to turn a corner and walk straight into some wonderful event taking place involving bands and gaily dressed participants. It's great if you like pleasant surprises.

Long live the Fallas Festival, even if it is a pain in the neck for driving around. That part only lasts a week which seems a small price to stage one of the grandest shows on earth.

Drive carefully!

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael 

Promising much more than we could ever use

In the world of super cars there exists a strange mindset. Manufacturers produce vehicles that have top speeds over 200 mph, which are F1 speeds for cars that will be driven on the normal road network,and that can get you from zero to 60 mph in 2.7 seconds.

Firstly, under what circumstances would you want or need to do that? I suppose if you were sitting still and you looked in the rear view mirror and saw T-rex bearing down on you, or a great bear, or an avalanche or a fire ball about to roll over you, that type of getaway speed would certainly come in handy. It would also be handy if the woman's husband whom you have just spent the night with is about to catch up with you. The capability to get away that fast would be invaluable, but what's the likelihood of any of those things happening?

This car, and others in its league are called touring cars. One thing is certain; the car looks absolutely great. Its performance is superlative and in motion it is a sore temptation to put the foot down a little too much. I drove a Jaguar F-type which is a naughty thing. It whispers in your ear constantly, "go on, give me more; you know you want to." Well, there are rules and limits to the speed you can get up to on roads that are being used by other people.

There are no roads at all that are safe and that permit us to drive at speeds of more than a maximum of 130 kph, so under no circumstances will we ever be able to use anything more than  those limits. In Germany it is different in that on certain parts of the autobahn  there are no limits, but the average driver will not be proficient in fast driving techniques. It is very likely that such a person will be taking an extraordinary risk in driving so fast. You would have to be an experienced racing driver to be able to control the car from fishtailing if you tried to stay within that 0-60 thing in 2.7 seconds. That is incredibly fast. If you lose control at that fast a start you could flip the car and then all bets are off.

I don't know about using this car for gran  touring because there's only room enough for overnight bags, and even then you may not be able to get much more than a couple of handkerchiefs in them, so I'm not sure what practical use such a wonderful auto would be other than the admiration of all who see it. When I drove the F-Type Jag the looks I got and the respect was something I will never forget.

I had to content myself with that pleasure and with the thrill of entering a motorway at a moderate speed and then blasting forward up to 120 as fast as I could just to feel the G-forces on my chest. Other than that I had to drive the car as I would any other and be a good motorist by staying within safe limits.

The problem is that once in a while someone will pass me and all the other motorist in the so-called fast lane travelling at what seems like supersonic speeds. They seem to forget that there are constant monitoring of the roads by cameras mounted on poles and in helicopters, so while you may not see them, they see you.

In summary we pay for a lot of excess power, speed and capability that we will never experience, and we pay a massive premium for those things. I once watched a person drive his car round the race track at Cheste on an open day at the track and he took one of the bends a little too fast for his ability and went into a skid. I think he might have soiled himself, poor fellow, because for the rest of the route he drove very sedately to the great amusement of us spectators.

Ah well! 

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

Still Here?

I came across a car this week that I had not seen for a little while that is on foreign plates that I first encountered when I arrived here in Spain 18 years ago. I only noticed it because it's a very attractive vehicle but with the steering wheel on the right, but I liked it so much I always wanted to buy it if it came up for sale. That would most likely have been a mistake had I done so.

Back then there was some confusion caused by the barroom lawyers as to the maximum time limit for changing your foreign plates to Spanish ones, or if you ever had to do it. The owner of this car evidently believes that it is not necessary at all, but he would be mistaken.

When he causes a crash the first question on the claim's checklist will be: Is the claimant's license and car documents all in order? To answer yes to this question the driver's license  must be valid and appropriate to drive in Spain. That means if a U.K. citizen has been in the country for more than two years and is driving on his British issued permit that permit is no longer valid.

If the car has been kept in Spain for more than six month's and is being driven on it's British plates those plates are no longer valid as the owner/driver is now properly deemed to be a resident for tax purposes in Spain and the car should have been converted to Spanish plates not later than six months after first having landed in Spain.

That means there will be a resounding No to the claim's question and that will result in the claim being  denied without considering any other information. No matter that you have paid your premiums faithfully for years. This could now be a very serious matter for the owner who will be liable for the full extent of the damages caused. We sometimes wonder why the police don't make more of an effort to take these cars off the road as they are a danger to all road users. If I suffer serious damages from another driver and that driver is one such example who effectively has no insurance I am the one who is the loser. The police have much to do to keep them busy so perhaps they give a person enough rope to hang themselves. This would be very cynical on their part, so I hope it is for other reasons they don't act.

The thing is that I first noticed this car eighteen years ago. I think it's time something was done to rectify this situation.

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

Off the chart irresponsibility!

During this past week a crash occurred involving three large trucks on the A-7 near the exit junction to Valencia city. I admit that I do not have the details of what happened and how it happened, so I have to be careful in jumping to conclusions. What I can say is that daily we see trucks driving in convoy, nose-to-tail, and in doing so they create a wall that prohibits other traffic from exiting, and it contravenes the law on keeping a safe distance from the vehicle travelling in front.

In recent memory there occurred a crash involving three large trucks in the same general area, but travelling in the opposite direction. At that time the truck in the lead applied brakes suddenly and the one behind ran into him and that was followed by the third running into the second. That took many hours to clear up. I suspect that this crash was probably a result of the same thing.

Truckers drive like this to save fuel. I have seen as many as seven trucks in such a convoy. They are driving in each others slipstream with the truck ahead effectively sucking along the one behind. They take turns in being the leader. When a crash occurs it is usually such a horrendous and disruptive event that the impact is spread over such a wide area that involves so many people's lives and routines it may be almost impossible to accurately measure.

This latest mess occurred at about 7am which resulted in traffic gridlock impacting several different routes. Children were late for school, teachers were late, employees were late in starting their days, banks were late in opening, cars ran out of fuel while running their engines hoping to move forward a centimetre at a time, and of course that made matters worse. People were late for trains and planes, and in general life came to a stop because of the three drivers who were involved.

Was this as a result of the usual stupidity and irresponsibility? If so what should be done to impress upon the trucking fraternity the seriousness of their actions?

I lump this type of irresponsibility along with those drivers who drive at high speed in dangerous weather when speed should be seriously restricted in the interests on safety, such as stormy, snowy, thick fog, icy conditions, etc. Drivers should slow down but many do not as they head into causing massive inconvenience to untold thousands.

To begin with if they cannot be responsible they have no business holding a driver's permit. It is a permit, not a right. Take it away from them! When we see trucks in convoy it should be made easy to report them in the knowledge that the police will be immediately dispatched to stop the convoy.

Let's get serious about this entirely avoidable problem and eradicate it once and for all!

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

Encouraging News Statistics

I have been looking at the report of Deaths on Spanish Roads for 2016, which is a morbid report at the best of times, but this year it does makes good news out of bad.

The Director General of the DGT has reported that the provisional numbers for 2016 indicate that there were 1,038 fatal incidents on all of Spanish roads during the calendar year 2016 which resulted in 1,160 deaths, plus 5,067 people needing hospital treatment for their injuries.

However, in 1960 when results were first tabulated there were one million vehicles travelling Spain's roads, and today there are 32 million. On average three people died every single day during 2016. In 2000 there were 11.6 deaths every day and now it is the aforesaid 3.2 with a lot more traffic. For instance, although the number of deaths went up in 2016 over 2015, there was a great jump in traffic in just that one year to 392 million long-haul journeys , an increase of 18.5 million journeys.

In 1960 there were 1,300 road deaths and 1 million vehicles to 1,160 in 2016 with 32 million vehicles, an increase of 32 times more traffic congestion.  In realistic terms that is really encouraging. In the intermittent period we have seen a lot of outrageous behaviour including stupid drunken stuff with people seeming to deliberately want to kill themselves. Unfortunately they also killed people who were not planning to die that day.

Last year 214 motorcyclists died principally due to too much speed. Speed usually is a factor in fatal crashes, combined with other things such as inattention due to distractions, and perhaps the number one sure fire cause being simple exhaustion leading to drivers dropping off to sleep.  If we have to drive for long distances it cannot be over emphasised enough that we get lots of rest. Ideally that should be planned into our journey. Young people should plan to stop every two hours for a rest. Most likely they will not because their powers of concentration allow for longer periods of focus, but they should do so anyway.

The problem with exhaustion is that we start to feel a little drowsy but we think we can carry-on a bit farther. We´re almost there and suddenly you snap awake having closed your eyes. If you get to do that you really did only close your eyes for a Nano-second. Any longer than that and you will most likely  be counted as part of the statistics.

It has happened to me, and I am someone who is acutely aware of how that happens. The older I get the more rest periods I have to factor in which means having to leave home that much earlier as my journey will take longer.

Another cause of road fatalities can be so easily avoided and it is this: even if you may have to drive at anytime during the day, simply avoid adding alcohol to the things that may impair your judgement. Simple, just be a grown up responsible person. So many really horrible crashes occur over festival and holiday periods when we load up the car with family and as the driver we engage with everyone else in having a few drinks for the road.

For those surviving family members to learn that a whole family has been wiped out because Mom or Dad didn't have the common sense to simply not have a drink is so sad that it is off the scale of sadness.

The healthy activity of pedal cycling is on the increase in Spain, and is to be encouraged. Roads systems are being developed to include safe lanes for cyclists, yet time and time again we see cyclists totally ignoring these pathways, preferring instead to ride out in the motorised traffic where they get knocked off their bikes and killed. I wish I could know what their last thoughts were.

During 2016 there were 118 pedestrian deaths, three more than during 2015. This is an area where we need to take a moment to give some focus. As more cycling lanes are integrated into sidewalks we have a situation where pedestrians are placed into the paths of cycles, some travelling at speed. It only takes a person to step to the side without being aware that they have entered into the path for a moving vehicle and the result can be two fatalities. Such a collision will involve two people who are at their most vulnerable, and especially if one is an older frail person there will most likely be a fatal outcome. The cyclist will be thrown and should he or she land in an awkward manner that could be the end for that person.

To add to the problem cyclists don't seem to appreciate that the rules of the road actually apply to them as well as all other traffic. We are going through a learning curve where a lot of these people don't wear headgear. I guess they must think their heads alone are sturdy enough to cope with crashing into an immovable force. They will learn, and then die.

I offer a serious suggestion that cycles be fitted with a mandatory warning system much like those for lorries when reversing. A bell needs to be fitted that rings frequently warning pedestrians of an oncoming cycle.

To conclude, although there is much more work to be done by all of us who use the roads, Spain suffers a loss of 36 road deaths per one million inhabitants versus the EU average of 52, making Spain's roads some of the safest, but that is cold comfort if someone you have loved so much becomes one of those who will lose their lives during 2017.

Drive carefully, the life you save maybe your own, or better, it may be mine. 

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

The Trials and Tribulations of a Cuban Car Owner

Sometimes we here in Europe grumble over keeping our cars properly maintained and running, but essentially we have all we need to do that, with the possible exception of enough money. I count myself very lucky to have in my Pueblo an excellent family garage run by highly experienced mechanics who are wonderfully ethical. I love my Classic Jag, but at times getting parts can be a bit difficult. However, no matter how many problems I encounter I have to remember that the issue of transportation for many other people can be a real challenge.

One of the best examples would be that of the Cuban driver. The picture that is presented to the world by American media is that of a range of American brand name cars that were operating at the time of the Revolution that started on July 26, 1953 and continued until January 1, 1959. People fleeing Cuba left these cars behind and they were commandeered by new owners who continue to operate them  today. That was sixty-four years ago that they have been kept running without manufacturer support. How have the owners managed to do this?

The answer  is through ingenuity and perseverance. The Cuban mechanic has come to be a master at  creativity, including crafting his own parts, to replacing motors and drive trains by stripping certain Russian models.

During Cuba's collaboration with Russia modern transport needs were kind of met through the importation of Russian cars and trucks. The West takes a very poor view of Russian quality in motoring, but at least Cuba could bring in vehicles and spare parts without difficulty.

One of the most common cars was the Lada which is hard to describe. I don't think I would like to be seen even dead in one, but the motors from these were often used to replace the big motors in Fords, and Chevrolet Bel Airs, the most common type of car that was left behind. Naturally those motors didn't drive the heavy Americans very fast, but at least they did move forward.

The Russians also exported into Cuba the Gaz 2410, that is being used mainly for taxi use, and The Vaz 2105 that resembles an old model Mercedes.

The principal solution to daily transport seems to come from China in the form of the Geely Emgrand EC7. This is a modern looking car along the lines of what you might expect from any of the European suppliers. The car is used by the government and it is also used as a hire-car for tourists. China also exports into Cuba a 4x4 model, the Beijing BJ212. In China this vehicle is used by the military and the police and it serves the same purpose in Cuba, although there is no prohibition against private ownership in Cuba, if you can afford the price. They will be very interested in you if you can afford it.

Cuba is a country that is 700 miles long (42,000 square miles ) and occupied by 11.2 million people. The average wage is only about $25 per month, so I find it difficult to understand why we are even discussing private car ownership in Cuba in the first place. At least gas costs about $1.20 a litre and diesel about .60 cents.

I am obviously missing a very big part of the puzzle.

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

 

How 200 vehicle pileups happen.

During this past week we have had to contend with thick fog across the country here in Spain. Naturally driving has been fraught with danger. Most of my fellow drivers got the message to moderate our speed as in places visibility was down to less than 50 metres. I know this because when approaching an exit and you pass the markers that count down from 300 metres to 200, and then to 100, when I passed the 300 metres sign there was no indication that there was another sign ahead.

It is a weird feeling when you are in a situation like that. At times you seem to be all alone in the world as you are socked in on all sides by solid mist, not that you get much time to be looking around you.

On the motorway I was cruising at about a maximum of 80 kph, as were most people but those monsters who walk around with excrement where their brains are supposed to be were passing us at speeds ranging anywhere from 120kph on up. They would come out of the mist and then they were gone in a flash. They could no more see where they were going than I could. All it would have taken would have been for one vehicle up ahead to get into trouble and the pileup would have begun. Once it gets started it would have a mind all its own. When would it end? Only Heaven knows. I have no idea of how it would stop.

While we can see how easy it is to start something like that happening the question persists, why even take the chance?

That person who thought he had to drive so fast and risk us all, was he thinking I'm late for an appointment and I'm in a hurry? A hurry to get to his death? There is a lot of truth in the old saying, more haste, less speed. If we leave home when we do, so that we have to make up time on the road, you lazy bastard, next time get out of your bed earlier and give yourself adequate time to arrive safely and without putting other people at risk.

If I were controller of the Universe I would swoop down and snatch your speeding car from the road and I would crush your car with you inside. You are an irresponsible shithead and you have no place among decent and reasonable people.

So, be my guest, go kill yourself by running into a very stout tree.

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

Weather Woes for All

What a week, January 15th to January 21st  has been for weather in Spain. Even for those who were not caught up in the overwhelming cold, ice and snow it has been a very uncomfortable week Places we would not usually associate with snow, had snow. On Benidorm beach they had sun, salt, sea, surf, sangria, and snow. What a shock that was.

My own story was that I had a meeting to attend in Denia on Wednesday, but I just wasn't sure it would be possible. The forecast on Tuesday was that the temperature in Valencia city would be 11, and 10 in Denia on Wednesday. However Denia might experience a light dusting of snow. I decided to chance it.

I left home in Valencia in brilliant sunshine and dry conditions and thought I was doing the right thing. By the time I reached Cullera the sky ahead had turned a dark grey, so I removed my sunglasses. I decided to stop and call a friend in Denia to ask what the situation was. OMG, said he, turn around and go back this instant. We are socked in by snow, traffic is slipping, sliding and slamming into one another. It's a mess! You would be well advised to go home right  now.

So, I did. I went around the roundabout and put my sunglasses on again and drove home and into my garage where my car remains to this moment.

The traffic story is one horrendous tale after another. People were trapped in their cars, without heat for many hours, including overnight. How no-one has died due to hypothermia is anybody's guess. If you had not properly prepared for the journey with food and blankets your experience would have been awfully difficult. This includes trains that were stuck by snow banks, including the much lauded AVE trains. At least I had the presence of mind to call ahead to avoid driving blindly into disaster. I am so thankful that I did.

In the Summertime I usually carry water and biscuits in case I get stuck; and for winter driving I did carry a sleeping blanket and a car blanket. I did these things for the past eighteen years but I never had to use them. Eventually they made room for more practical things in the luggage compartment.

No prizes for guessing what will go back into the car when I go out again.

Be prepared and be careful are really good pieces of advice that we should take serious.

Good luck because it is not over yet.

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

Dangerous Roads Ahead !

The date today is January 15th, 2017. Spain is in the grip of rolling super cold weather that is gradually blanketing the entire country with snow and ice which is making driving extremely hazardous. This is a time when we must all act in unison to get through the weeks ahead. As the weather brings these challenges it means being super cautious. These are the types of conditions that are unforgiving, so anyone who does not take proper notice will end up in the ditch. We will be lucky if that is the worst thing to happen to us.

It has been a long time since the weather was this bad, but in the light of the changes taking place affecting the weather cycle  it's a no-brainer that the climate is becoming more extreme. We keep hearing from people who have vested interests in denying that conditions are changing, but that doesn´t mean that change is not taking place. Change always happens. Nothing stands absolutely still in the world. If we don´t adapt ourselves to change we simply get left behind. To put that in a more concise perspective, if we are not moving ahead with change, we are actually moving backwards.

So, yes, climate change is happening right before our eyes and one of the effects is the possibility that driving is getting more difficult because of trying conditions. We cannot wish it away, and we cannot just close our eyes to it and continue on as normal. Mountain driving will be particularly difficult with its steep slopes and tight curves. I can´t just say be careful and expect that to adequately cover the situation. The only thing that would do that is to stay home unless you absolutely must use the roads.

This is a time for common sense and caution. The challenge is to survive this period and find ourselves on the other side in one piece, both alive and uninjured, nor suffering any damage.

Good luck to us all!

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael  

Starting the year in motoring heaven!

Today I celebrate my 77th year, plus three months and eight days. It's important that I tell you that because you see, a good friend asked me to do a critical favor at the last minute and I said yes, so as a reward, where no reward was necessary, they insisted that I have the unfettered use of their $75,000 Jaguar F-Type sports convertible for the weekend. They also seemed to have thrown in absolutely perfect weather for maximum enjoyment from the car.

Most people my age would not dare sit in such a car because of the danger they could never get out. At least that could be their excuse. I was sure that I would have to pay for my experience with pain in my back, but no, once seated, and provided I kept each journey reasonably short my back is just fine.

I'm addicted! If I had the ready money I would buy a car exactly the same in a heartbeat. I have completely fallen in love with it. Keep in mind that I drive a Jaguar myself, but this model is just playing with my heart.

The exact model car is a V6, 3000cc, 8-speed automatic convertible, in white with black soft top. The sound it makes, especially on acceleration is that of a Formula 1 car which is the most tempting thing. You always want to go fast but no, when driving on regular roads, as opposed to closed tracks one must observe the speed limits and other motorists. Normally, at my age I have long ago rid myself of the need for speed, or so I thought. Normally I content myself with driving along at 100 kph which is an optimum speed both for my car and its driver.

This rocket on wheels keeps egging me on. Go on, go for it! So, to reach a compromise I really like the feel when joining a major road, and if the way is clear of going from a slower speed to 120 kph in as short a time as possible. The kick in the back is just fabulous, plus the roar of that amazing engine and the G-force, and I'm awake!! The fact that it is a 3.0 litre, V6 340 Supercharged beast is just so over the top for me that there is no way I can ignore this car.

My Jag is a long wheel base XJ6 Sovereign that conveyed Her Majesty The Queen in the day when she was not using The Rolls. When I brought this one home the neighbours simply assumed that I had bought it, and now I am known as "Two Jags Gene" in my town. Oh Dear! One day I must get around to setting everyone straight.

This is an act of generosity in the Jeremy Clarkson mould, so I get to know how he feels when all those people say to him, "drive my car, please?" I, unlike Mr Clarkson, cannot think of anything I would want to criticise about the F-type . That may be because I am so in love with this glorious collection of materials, but give me some time when the newness rubs off and I'm bound to think of at least one tiny thing. Until then I am very happy to have had this wonderful experience.

If I had the funds I would definitely buy it and take it home and caress it, and care for it by washing it everyday and covering it in something nice and fluffy so that it can stay warm.

I wonder how my wife might react if I did the same thing for her?

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael

The Last day of the Year

For those drivers who have made it to this day we have been lucky and responsible in our driving experience. Now we come down to the very last day of the year, having survived until now, but we are facing the most insane period of the year: New Year's celebrations. We will go out to join in some form of activity that will almost certainly involve alcohol.

For most people the celebrations will be about welcoming in 2017, with hope for improvement and a better life, but the toast will be with cava and other booze. I have always been a little confused by this because no-one can know what the new year will actually bring, so what are we celebrating? We can hope, we can guess, and we can personally be positive, but what actually will take place during the year is anybody's guess.

I always prefer to confine my toast to what I know. In spite of 2016 having been the year of staggering stupidity and a mess, for me and my family the year was good to us. It allowed me to write and publish two books; and for our son he has made great progress in his chosen career in the mountains of the Spanish Pyrenees. All three of us have enjoyed good health, which really was on the top of our wish list, and remains there for 2017.

So, although the year has not yet ended I can wish for you and us that we take care to drive carefully so that we live to see in the new year. At least we can do our part to make 2017 the safest for travel. We always have a choice: we can overtake, or not; we can cruise at too much speed for that stretch of road, or not: and, perhaps most importantly we can choose to intake something that will impair our judgement and drive, or not: Only you and I can drive for ourselves. It's solely up to us.

Happy Motoring 2017!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael  

FOUL Weather Driving

At this time the weather along the Eastern coast of Spain, normally referred to as The Costa del Sol, is anything but Sol. For almost two weeks the rain has been coming down in response to our prayers. We've got rain, more than we can use, but it's still better to have to wish for the rain to stop than for it to start. Wishing for it to start could mean years before our wish is fulfilled.

Many of the Eastern communities are experiencing flooding, and in one tragic case a man was trying to save his beloved car but was swept out to sea. All those of us who love our machines as though they were a part of our hearts will understand his bravery.

On the roads we are finding we have to be careful as we go from dry patch to road rivers. There are the warnings that suggest that only if we have to go on the roads should we do so. If that something we think we need that will take us out of the house can really wait until tomorrow, then let it wait.

I was out of the house today and found most people to be driving with caution and commonsense, but there always has to be at least one absolute shit for brains. I just wish he would come to grief on his own without involving anyone else, but do it quickly.

On a past occasion I was driving cautiously when I saw coming up from behind me a van that started to overtake me along a short but straight bit of road. What is wrong with this imbecile? I thought. Just after he passed me, in returning to the proper side of the road he slammed into a massive pool of water and aquaplaned right off the road into a ditch. However, he couldn't quite turn completely on his side because of restraining earth, thus leaving the driver's side very high and dry.

I slowed to a crawl and as I passed him he looked down on me. I looked up at him with great concern etched on my forehead, although I didn't stop to help him. Why the hell should I have got involved with all that would have been necessary to sort out that situation.

It was only when I got around the next bend did I allow myself to laugh my ass off.

Please lower your speed and exercise due care and attention in these circumstances. I appeal to all to do this in both your own interest as well as mine.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

'Tis Christmas time again

Although I would not say that I am a practising Christian I will say to all who care, Have a Merry Christmas, full of good cheer and goodwill to all men. This is the way it has always been in Christian countries, but due to some very ignorant people it seems to be under threat. They say we should not show outright examples of celebrations for the Christmas spirit. Instead of Merry Christmas we should say, "Happy Holidays!" That would only be appropriate in the case of a mixed group of people who celebrate different religious groupings.

Seemingly, the reason for down playing Christmas is because we might offend some people, such as the Moslems. Even the Moslems are saying, "Eh?" Why would we be offended, we know this is a Christian country, and while we would like to see it convert to Islam, which is highly unlikely, we take no offense with your customs. If we can't accept what goes on here we can simply pull up stakes and return to our own country.

So, there is really no reason why we need to down play customs and traditions. I personally will look on from the sidelines and encourage anyone else who wants to get stuck into the fiestas. I must say that I prefer the Spanish way of Christmas celebrations. Rather than an orgy of shopping, which has nothing to do with the Christian meaning of this time of year, it is all about being with family and friends on the 24th and 25th December. Gift giving is done on the 6th January, Reyes, the day of the Three Kings.

I mention this because the Christmas fiestas do generate a lot of wining and dining among friends and colleagues. Inevitably it also involves a lot of driving home after the party when it is very difficult not to partake in the flow of wine and cava as we toast one another. I will have to remind myself, as I do every year at this time, that I have been good all year long by refraining from driving after drinking. This is not the time to change, because a fatal crash from intoxication will have ever lasting consequences for my family and yours.

So, Merry Christmas to each and everyone, or if you prefer Happy Holidays! Just so that we drivers all do our parts towards making the fiestas safe.


Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Distractions

Driving is so common place in today's world that we just take so many things for granted. Unfortunately, so many people fail to realise the difference between being in their living room and their car. The difference can be summed up in one word: concentration.

From the moment we start up the engine we are in another world that requires our full focus from the off. So many people pull out into traffic and immediately crash into a passing car. If we avoid doing that there is the normal distractions of traffic. While paying attention to what's happening in our lane we must also be aware of what going on around us. What will the drivers to our right and to our left do next. Here in Spain there is no recognition of lane discipline, so the person to our extreme left may want to go to the right, and will do so crossing all traffic. Stay alert!

Knowing full well that drivers need to concentrate the department for roads allow billboards to be placed in strategic locations to distract us with stupid messages selling us stuff. If we read all that crap we would kill ourselves and others as well. This is pure and simple greed for money and is totally irresponsible.

In the car, if we turn our head to the right without consciously holding the wheel steady, our hand will follow our eyes and we find ourselves driving off the road, or worse, into oncoming traffic if we look left. Even glancing down to check my speed just for a split second disorients me. If I want to select a radio station to listen to I have to do it all by touch without taking my eyes off the road. If you are my passenger and you are talking to me don't expect me to look at you.

So, why on earth are manufacturers making dashboard screens for drivers to watch which are called infotainment centres? We have long had Tom-Tom type GPS systems, but at least there is a voice telling us when to turn left and right. These new systems provide a wide choice of information and entertainment. Some of the more sensible systems don't operate while the car is underway, but others make no such distinction. Surely, this is not right.

I suppose the manufacturers will say that they depend on the common sense of drivers. Well, don't take that to the bank. If common sense was always at work on the roadways we would have no collisions at all. I think it goes the other way round. We are depending on the common sense of your designers to produce products that don't put dangerous temptation in our way.

The most amazing thing about all of this is that one of the offenders is Volvo, the leading name in car safety. When asked to comment the company failed to do so. Come on Volvo, I have always believed in you. I know you can do better.

Bring on self-driving cars!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

 

Underground parking Hell!

It is just as well that we think of Hell as a place that is underground. It can also be above ground in high rise parking lots because with the size of today's cars it is becoming ever more difficult to park and leave without scraping the sides of your car. To make matters worse every exit it seems has to be on a bend. I have only once scraped my car and I still have the proof.

To begin with, many parking buildings were not purpose built, so we are expected to drive our cars up and down stairs where before people walked. For small cars there is usually not too much of a problem, except some bloody genius has seen fit to place pavement-like concrete high enough so that as you try to get close enough to reach the reader you scrape the side of your car just where it is the most difficult to repair. Bloody idiots!

My Volvo is a sedan. I have come back to it after having parked and found a car that has come in and is now my neighbour that is so large and high I feel as though I am in a toy car. Who needs such massive machines? Just taking the kids to school, these surely are not necessary? I suppose it could be argued that they serve well for defense as I think should I encounter one head-on, send my ashes home.

Then there is always the problem of the people who park so badly that they take up two spaces. Man, the urge to kill when only strangulation will do becomes so strong. How can we be so selfish. When I come into contact with such stupidity I get dizzy.

I have a GJX Jaguar Sovereign that is a long car that I avoid parking in underground or multi-floor car parks. I park only in open air ground level parking areas which provide me enough problems. The next challenge will be those elite cars that drive and park themselves, I'm hopeful that they will solve a lot of the problems that presently exist due to our own stupidity, but as long as we will have a mix of people and robot drivers I can only see a brand new lot of difficulties over the transition period.

Good luck to us all as we will need it!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Car Keys lost!

A dear friend has related to me this week her tale of woe following the disappearance of the key to the car. This reminded me of my own experience that happened many years ago that taught me to never allow it to happen again.

At that time I had rented a car from Boston airport and I drove it north into New Hampshire to go skiing. I rented a place to live and off we went to the ski slopes. After a day out it was time to return to the hotel. I was frozen to the bone. I got the key out of my pocket, but because my hands were so cold I fumbled the key and dropped it. I had not noticed that I had parked directly over a grate into a drain. Even if it were possible to normally remove the covering, with the car standing over it that was out of the question.

None of the options that were possibly open to me were going to be inexpensive, convenient, quick, or warm. In the end getting a second key cost much more than the original rental. I said then that I would never ever again  lose the key to the car. Considering that was more than fifty years ago and it has never happened again, I can say so far, so good.

However, I owned a Chrysler people carrier for which I had about six keys and still managed to lock all six in the car. More trouble, but at least it was during the Summer.

I notice how other people treat their keys because it's something that is very much on my mind. There is often no plan at all to protect the safety and security of such an important item. These days cars come with such high tech security keys that to try and replace them involves so much. Now, if thieves want to steal your car they have to break into your house to get the key, and while they are there they also take your other stuff and drive off in your Porsche.

My routine goes like this. I carry a man bag on which I clip my house keys and my car keys. That way, if I have my bag I also have my keys. Once I reach my destination and I lock the car I immediately attach my car key to my bag in the same location. Once or twice I have been lazy and simply put the key in my pocket. You should see the panic when I reach to where the key should be and it's not there.

I also carry a spare key. This key is completely worthless if it's at home or inside the car. It has to be with me wherever I go. In fact it forms a part of duplicates to all my keys, which makes my bag so heavy. A good object lesson from this is the following incident:  I was far from home at an Ikea store when I was loading the goods purchased in the boot of my car. Someone passing in his car stopped to ask me directions, and during those moments when I was dealing with him his partner stole the keys to my car. Now my car was a sitting duck, just waiting for him to come back when I had moved away from it to report the incident.

What foiled him was that I had a spare set on my belt and I simply drove to the police station to make my report.

The only other thing that can so completely change your plans for the day is the flat tyre. That we cannot avoid if it's going to happen, but at least we carry a spare with us. However, it seems to me that flat tyres are reserved for nights or rainy weather.

So, care and protection of the car key deserves a very high priority, because to lose your key is going to be expensive and a real pain in the arse. Take my word for it, I've done that and it is not something I ever want to repeat.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Driving with the Opposition

I am a person who has made my share of mistakes while driving, and I hope I have learned from them. I am much older and I think I am a lot wiser than when I was a boy racer. Now I place the emphasis on driving safely while anticipating what the other fellow is going to do. I have built up guidelines that keep me safe and out of trouble, and perhaps I have become a little smug.

Once in a while I find myself the passenger in a car that is being driven by the mad opposition. I think this happens for my sins, but there I am at the mercy of  a hooligan on wheels. Someone who flouts not only all my careful guidelines and rules but also the rules of the road. We are driven at great speed when we were not really in any hurry to get to our destination. Why is that necessary?

I wonder what goes through the heads of some people while they are driving? My driver charged through small spaces and cut off others while swerving and changing lanes as though he were a mad man. I found that while looking ahead I was driving for him by pressing down hard on the floor with my toes curled. So, I stopped looking. I simply took in the scenery out the side window as best I could as it flashed on by.

Most people would have been totally stressed, calling out look out for this or that. Not me, I simply told myself that if today is the day when this life ends I will simply go with the flow. I said absolutely nothing. I didn't need to because there was another person in the car with whom the driver was having a conversation.

It's a strange thing about Spain in that drivers are generally in a hurry, as especially those people in the cities usually are, even if they really aren't going anywhere important. I think it's the coffee. We speak quickly and do things in a hurry when we really could take things in less of a panic. This ultimately leads to car crashes on the highway and people die. For this reason I can't wait for the day when all cars will drive themselves. Also, when that happens I won't have to be so selective about who I ride in a car with.

Now, I almost need to give the driver a test before I get in his car as I place my life in his careless hands.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Driverless cars speed ahead

I am a great fan of the concept of driverless cars. I am looking at driver behaviour every day that I'm sure autonomous cars would never be guilty of. Simple stuff like driving while drunk or under the influence of other substances. The one thing that really annoys me is those drivers who overtake me only to immediately slow down or turn off the road, thereby causing me to apply brakes.

There are so many problems that would be solved. but it seems that some control will remain for the human, even if it's elective. We will still have to be licensed and insured, and we will still have some degree of responsibility.

The list of capabilities being in-built into these models of the future is really fabulous. However,  the car is left with any number of moral decisions that affect humans as well, but the difference is that the car will be able to react much faster. For one thing inattention will not be one of its faults.

Inattention is perhaps the human's greatest downfall, leading in far too many cases to death on the highway. Take for instance simply driving for far too long a period of time to the point where your eyelids begin to close. This can happen day or night. The problem with this is there is no hard and fast rule to avoid it. Yes, we should stop and take a break every two hours, or less to recharge our personal batteries. However, in reality it depends on whether you slept well last night; or did you have a lunch that was too heavy, rendering you a prime subject for a siesta?

Perhaps you are fully alert but your attention is diverted by children fighting in the back, or something happening outside the car that takes not only your attention but everybody's else as well.

It's a sad commentary that science is on this track because we recognize that we humans are not to be trusted to be in charge of  these potentially lethal machines. Twenty-seven years ago I made the prediction that within the coming 50 years we would have self-driving vehicles, because it was so evident then that something had to be done.

Providing insurance cover is going to be a massive problem. So far, under very controlled circumstances there have been very few crashes, and that is to say we are in the development stage. I suppose that the car would be insured, as they do here in Spain, rather than the driver. The problem will arise in those cars that allow the human to take back control. That may take us back to Square One.

The most keen market should be us old fogies who have been driving for many years. I would love to be driven, especially on the long runs. Young people will be the least likely to take that choice, as long as there is a choice. I think I remember the days when I enjoyed driving. Those were good times and I was as happy as a clam. Now it's a chore, even in the Jag.

I really shouldn't just come right out and say this, but truth is that if I can't have a staff of beautiful women to drive me I'll just have to settle for a driverless Jag or Maserati.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

When two great Sins collide

For some time I have noticed that people have been committing two sins against common sense. They are equal in their gravity and they are done without thinking by adults who should know better.

The first of these are those persons who take their very small children for a walk by pushing the child in a push chair. When they come to cross the street, instead of swinging the child around so that it is the adult who crosses first after making certain that it is safe, the child is simply pushed out into the street and is exposed to crossing traffic. It is something of an everyday miracle that we have not had to read of somebody's baby having been killed by being run over. However, parents if you continue this practise it will happen.

You will cry and you will have to suffer the indescribable pain of  having to bury your child who died because of your own  thoughtlessness. I'm sorry to be the one to bring you this reality, but at least you can consider this as an alert. You can also be the first one to set the example by pulling your child across the street. Others will get the point and the trend will develop.

I have written about this before, but of course no-one takes unsolicited advice from me. What is needed is a big push from Trafico ( the Dgt) to heighten people's awareness, but evidently they don't see this as the clear and  present danger that it is.

The other sin that most people have committed at least once is that of talking on the mobile while driving. I have done this by using the hands-free system, but even that is a distraction. That would be the best way of talking to someone by phone while driving if you really must, but it is not the same thing as speaking to a passenger in the car sitting beside you. Anything at all that distracts the driver is a bad thing.

We have now read a report that in downtown Valencia a driver was speaking on her mobile phone, presumably while holding it to her ear, when she came face-to-face with two children in the same push chair crossing the street. She was driving a 4x4 as she plowed right into them, fortunately at a very slow speed.

It appears that for those who saw what happened this was a scene of utter horror. However, she did stop promptly and determined that the children, while badly shaken up were probably not seriously hurt. She gave all her particulars and then left the scene. I prefer to think that she left because of the trauma of what she and the children's father had done.

This was a wake-up call that says we really must change the way we do things to avoid a full-scale tragedy, one that will take place. It's just a question of "When."

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The Tailgater

One of Clint Eastwood's early movies featured the storyline that as an ordinary driver he inadvertently picks up a tailgater driving a truck. The entire movie was about how the tailgating terrorist proceeded to make the driver's driving experience a living hell.

So it was in my own case this past week. I was driving my classic Jag between Denia and Valencia when I noticed that a Man brand truck was stuck to my rear bumper. The only things I know about the driver are that, (a) he was a complete and utter imbecile; (b) he was intent on making me as uncomfortable as he could; (c) and that he, and the whole world would be much better off were he to simply lie down and give up his last breath.

Firstly, let me state what I think are redeeming qualities of  truckers. These guys are responsible for massive moving vehicles that potentially, in the hands of irresponsible persons could cause the motoring public and pedestrians a lot of trouble. Mostly the drivers handle their responsibilities well. They also show extraordinary good judgement, except when driving in convoy. Then they all seem to lose their collective minds and cruise along nose-to-tail.

That creates a wall of trucks through which people wishing to exit the highway cannot penetrate. Why do they do this? They know it is illegal. It is against all common sense, and for each driver it's potentially a death trap.

How do we know when we are leaving enough braking space between us and the vehicle ahead? We can know by picking any landmark and when the vehicle ahead passes it we count "one, one thousand, two one thousand." We must be able to count in a normal tempo, and to complete the count before we reach the same landmark. That will work at any speed, provided your brakes and tyres are in good condition, and that you are alert.

Under rainy conditions and at night we are better prepared if we leave additional space. To get that space count up to "three, one thousand" or more.

The genius I had tailgating behind me probably thought that I was one of those ultra car proud Jag owners who treat their cars as though they are the most valuable thing in the world. No! In so far as I am concerned it's a car, and every time I take it on the road I run the risk of encountering some horses' ass who will end up writing off my car. When that happens I will simply get another one, if I'm still alive.

I found myself driving for both of us. I had to control him by slowing him down in anticipation that we may have had to stop. A stop for me might have been easy, but for him in his 12-wheel rig is a lot more difficult. Finally I had enough of the risk he was imposing upon me. We were approaching an off ramp that I knew was there, which also had an easy on-again ramp, so without signalling to him I suddenly increased speed and pulled off road. Had he tried to follow me he would have jack-knifed his trailer and made an awful mess.

So, to that one man who clearly has fecal matter where his brain is supposed to be, I wish upon him a whole case of very bad piles that will force him out of driving every thing.

One thing that is for certain is that he has no place behind the driving wheel.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Hydroplane, but only if you want to!

As we say goodbye to Summer we have to now fix our concentration on other kinds of driving other than nice dry road types. There are people who live in areas that become socked in with snow and ice. I won't even pretend to know anything about driving in such conditions. I just ask how is that done? It seems to me to be an extra difficult thing to get around, especially on hilly terrain when you are faced with blizzards, ice on the road, and snow banks, if you can even find your car. I am just not hardy enough to be able to cope with those conditions.

I wanted to talk about simply driving in rainy conditions, because we do need to refocus our minds. The greatest danger to winter weather drivers is that we will have to drive in rainy conditions, which brings along with it special protocols. If we are not aware or choose to ignore them we are likely to end up in a bad way, and worse, we will be the cause of misfortune to others.

The number one danger is that of Hydroplaning our cars due to the loss of control. I am told that there are several things we should keep in mind:

One: Slow down during wet periods. If we drive too fast for the state of the road your wheels will not be able to maintain contact with the surface. The result will most likely be a disaster.

Two: Maintain tyres in good condition. Good thread equals good contact with the road surface.

Three: I'm told that to turn off the cruise control should probably be number one on the list. The driver has to take back control to be able to make crucial decisions at all times.

For manual geared cars it is better to drive in at least one gear down from the top gear. In other words, I drive in fourth rather than fifth. This gives me better control and means that I drive at a reduced rate. At night time, even if my eyesight was 20/20, which it's not, it's better to reduce speed from say, 120 kph to 100. The lower speed results in an increased ability on my part to see things that are hard to see because of the dark. If its raining I reduce even farther down to 90. This is especially helpful in seeing pedestrians crossing the road.

When cruising on water in the road, if we turn sharply or make hard braking stops this indicates that we were not sufficiently focused or that we failed to anticipate what lay ahead. Making such sudden moves when our contact with the surface is not secure will probably lead to a crash.

We must remember that during dry periods vehicles are constantly dropping little bits of oil. This builds up over time and when it rains water is added to oil. That's a cocktail that should be avoided at all costs; but we are unable to avoid it. Perhaps as much as the first half hour of the first rain is washing away the residue of the oil into the gutter. While that is happening we face the worst of conditions.

One final point to be aware of: Sometimes we see ahead a nice large pool of water. Wouldn't it be nice to drive into that and make a really nice splash. There are no pedestrians around to drown, so go for it! Not! We may find that we totally lose control and the weight of the water swings the car out of control, even flipping it over. I resist the temptation, as difficult as that is, because that little kid in me sometimes get the better of me.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Creative "Accidents"

While out driving yesterday I came across a very peculiar scene of a car that was lying at rest on the top of the guard railing, upright, facing frontwards with its hind quarters resting against the embankment behind . There was virtually no damage to the railing, and the bend was so slight that Lewis Hamilton could have taken it at 300 kph.

How on earth was that possible? There were two middle age women sitting beside the road waiting for assistance, but I'm sure if I asked them how they were able to do that they wouldn't have a clue.

That's the third car I have come across sitting on the rails, and for only one was it evident how it got there. That one simply drove itself up the rail as the driver must have been distracted. The car had gone off the tarmac, and just before reaching a ravine it caught the rail with the left-side front and back wheels. Somehow, these became wedged leaving the right side of the car suspended out over the ravine.

I think the occupants of that car have spoken of this incident every day, even if only to themselves as that  would definitely have got their attention.

The other car I saw sitting on the railings was a station wagon. The railings were dividing the centre of opposing lanes of traffic, with oleander trees planted in between. Somehow this car had got itself up and across the railings where it sat snugly. The railing on my side was undamaged but I couldn't see the other side. Fortunately the car sat so that it didn't impede traffic on either side. A family sat huddled and terrified in among the oleanders awaiting assistance.

How did the do it? I feel sure that if I Google "strange accidents" there would turn up lots of other examples. I must do that one day.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Women who Wait

This is a sad story about Spain's prostitutes who sit and wait along the highways and Roundabouts. They are engaged in the oldest profession in the world, and as adult women, if they are making a free choice about what to do with their bodies, then I suppose I have nothing to say about it. However, it is a peculiar choice of work.

If the woman is having to do this kind of thing because she just cannot find any type of regular employment, while I cannot condemn her for doing so it adds to the sadness of this lifestyle.

If she is a drug junkie and has to sell her body for her next fix, then that too is sad. Of course, the message to young women everywhere is that you avoid finding yourself in this situation by not touching drugs in the first place.

If she is keeping all of her earnings that is one mitigating factor, but in reality she most likely has to pay for protection, and worse she probably is being run by a pimp. That is a serious no-no! It happens more often than not.

One day, while leaving Denia before twelve noon I passed several ladies waiting patiently beside the N-332. I'm told that they are always there, day and night and it is obvious that they are not waiting for the bus.  By simply being there they were not contributing anything at all to the dignity of women.

There was one young woman who was dressed in shorts and blouse tied at the waist. She looked quite smart and she was dancing to the sounds from her headphones, while accentuating her ample positive assets. It was before anybody had sat down to lunch, so I ask myself, did she really expect me, as a passing male motorist to stop and give her trade at that time of day?

What was I supposed to want from her that early in the day? Where would we go to discuss whatever it was that I was supposed to want from her in the middle of the heat of the day? Why was she on duty at that peculiar hour? Might she have been a single mother who had packed the children off to school and taken herself to work hoping to earn some money for the household? That's a sad possibility. I suppose she could also be a married woman who is trying to earn some extra money while getting to indulge herself in some passing trade; but I imagine that is a lot less likely.

I imagine when you are offering your very body for sex purposes and a whole day passes and no-one wants you, that must be the ultimate in depression. It's bad enough when you are cruising to meet someone whom you would like to make your permanent partner and you get not one nibble, that has to get you down, but that is a whole world removed from the kind of rejection of the prostitute.

I think that the government recognises that two people will always find a way to hook up. The best that can be hoped for is that such activity is removed from the sight of the general public.

The government of Valencia City passed a law that prohibits fornicating in the street and other public places. Why would they do that? They did it to stop people who had been carrying on in this manner.

You would have thought it obvious that such activity would be way out of order, but noooooooooo!

As though we drivers didn't already have enough to distract us.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

A Death of The Family

One of the saddest stories of the Summer was the death of an entire family on the road that was caused, it is thought by a distraction in the family car. That led to a head-on crash with an on-coming van.

During holiday times we all set out to enjoy ourselves while on a journey of discovery. However, when we load up the car with the entire family we increase the risk to the maximum upon everyone in the family that something horrible could happen.

I don't know whether the car ran into the van, or vice-versa. I have no real idea of what was the cause of these two vehicles meeting head-on, so my comments can only be made in a general sense.

Firstly, a note that applies to all drivers: your car is not your living room, which of course you know; therefore when driving a different form of conduct is required.

Things can change so quickly when in motion that we really do need to keep our eyes glued to the lane in front of us, as well as being aware of what is happening around us.

Common sense tells us that when we get behind the wheel our bodily systems should be free from anything that will impair our judgement. When we have our family in the car this becomes absolute.

Children find having to sit still while the car is moving terribly boring. The parent who is a passenger can deal with them. The driver has to remain fixed in his or her concentration. As an example;  a large 4X4 came up behind me with a little girl who was not strapped in. The girl was distracting her mother as she drove, who suddenly realised that I had stopped at a pedestrian crossing to let the pedestrian cross.

The mother slammed on her brakes, and (fortunately) the little girl was thrown into the fascia of the car. Fortunately, because she could have been thrown out the car through the windshield.

In a column at the start of the Summer I pointed out that sleepiness while driving is probably responsible for more deaths on the road than we know. I had an experience that further underscores this thought: on one of the hotter days I had been running a couple of errands, and after lunch I was on my way home. The combination of the hot wind, (I don't have air-conditioning) and my lunch was very calming. I began to feel the effects, but I was close to home so I continued. Wrong decision!

At that stretch there was no other traffic on the road, when I closed my eyes without realising and the car touched the white line rumble strip along the side of the road. That promptly woke me up. (That is what it is there for.)

What I should have done when I felt the first effects coming on was to have immediately turned off the road and found somewhere where I could have slept it off. It really is that important!

Congratulations to those of us who survived the Summer driving season, especially if we have no injuries. I've learned from my own experience. I can only hope it might make an impression on you too.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Summer's Done in Spain

When the season of Summer comes to an end we usually take stock of how things turned out by including such considerations as how many tourists visited Spain; how many fires raged over the hot and dry landscape; and, unfortunately how many people died on the roads?

The answer to that last question is, 253 people made their transition from this life to the next, most prematurely. Along with a growing mass of people I believe that when we die we are simply entering through the portal of death to begin life anew, so that is not a bad thing. However, it's one thing to live a full rich life and to complete all of your major projects, and quite another to die simply because you got in your car to run an errand.

Those 253 people will probably account for 25% of the total deaths on the road for the year in Spain. A lot of families have been left devastated, which is something drivers should think about before getting in their cars while drunk. However, while it is true that in some small communities around the world there are no road deaths, in major countries there always will be a significant number of people who die, often at their own hand.

I tend to look at such statistics as part of the total number of people alive on the planet. I see that seven billion plus people are placing a severe strain on Earth's resources and when especially large numbers of people are killed, that is a part of a continuous process of the culling of our species.

Like everything else about life we still have choices. We can choose to be reasonable or reckless. We can choose to treat ourselves in a healthy manner or we can choose to stuff our bodies with poisons and trash. I was given a maximum life expectancy of 47 years when I was born, along with every male who was born in the same year in my country. A vast majority of those people did die young, but I am approaching my 77th birthday. I chose to change my lifestyle, and I was the recipient of the motherlode of good luck.

I will continue to make my contributions toward a long life. How about you? There were 253 people who actually died, but how about all those other people who were injured, some who will have to live with life changing effects for the rest of their lives.

Buckle up; drive soberly and with due care; don't drive when you need to sleep, and absent recklessness and unnecessary speed. You and I just might get to approach the magic 100 mark.

Good luck!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The long, hot and lovely days of Summer driving

I had driven into the next town from my own to run some errands, and when preparing to return home I thought, what a glorious day this is for a drive in the country. The car was running perfectly, the roads were near deserted and so, instead of driving the thirteen kilometres home I went the long way round.

For the past two years the main road to a town to the West of  us has been closed for improvements. It was opened just before the August vacations, so of course I had to go and investigate what had been done.

There are roads that empty onto main roads that are paved and I've always wondered from where do they come? Time to take a run along those roads and I find that another entrance I have been passing for many years provides the other end of the mystery.

Newspaper headlines have been reporting that the dams are running very low on water. So I took a run up to see for myself. I wish now I didn't do that because they are worryingly low to the extent that I am feeling guilty about giving water to my garden.

It is amazing how quickly Britain imposes a hose pipe ban should there be an absence of rain for some small period of time. Habitually it does not rain in Spain during the Summer but there is no order against me filling my pool.

When doing a run of curiosity  like this I discover a lot of useless information for the time being, but one day I'll have to find someone's house and realise I know exactly where it is.

These are indeed the somewhat hazy, and very lazy days of Summer that will had gone before we know it. Yes, it is hot to the point of being uncomfortable in that it actually stings to be in the full sun. However, it is my favourite time of year in Spain, and when it gets too hot to bear we can always visit friends and family in England.

That will bring our temperatures down considerably and we will be back to reality. Bless you Britain!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

What a difference a Country makes

For the past two weeks I have been driving on the left side of the road in the U.K. I lived the majority of my life in Bermuda where we drive on the left, so this was no great challenge to me; except that for the past seventeen years I have been living in Spain. Naturally that means I have been driving on the right side of the road. Whenever I visit the U.K. I have the same problem, and it is a real problem because one mistake is usually enough to end my life; and worse I could end someone else's life.

I did make two of those mistakes but became aware immediately without endangering anyone else. However, the major difference I had to get accustomed to was road courtesy. We don't usually practise that form of inter-personal behaviour  here, so the first time someone extended courtesy to me, in the car rental yard I was a little confused. What was he doing? He then waved me on, as to say, "after you." Oh! I remember this. The proper response was to ensure that I indicated "Thank You," and to be sure he got that message.

That was how I grew up in my driving life. British road rage comes from someone extending a courtesy and not being acknowledged. That is so understandable, so I was careful.

We attended a wedding and reception. As usual my wife drove there and I drove us home, being the designated driver. I drank only soft beverages. On the way home we passed a police patrol car that had pulled off the road to observe passing traffic. They were stopped in a well lit area. My car lights were set on automatic so that during the day when we drove into well shaded areas the lights would automatically turn on. The car decided that this night, because the area was so well lit it would turn the lights off just as the police took a look at us.

Sure enough, they came screaming after us. You were driving without lights. Eh? We soon discovered what had happened. At night we should switch the lights to permanently on mode.

This brings up the question of what happens when we are being driven in a autonomously driven car. Why challenge me about what the car was doing. I'm not driving. In fact, I'm drunk!

Where have you come from? A wedding reception. Have you been drinking? My wife said she had, I said I was the designated driver and had no alcohol. The officer said he could not smell any alcohol, so we were free to go.

The thing is that at the reception a glass of wine was poured for me and it sat in front of me all through dinner and tempted me terribly. At one point I actually took a sip, then thought better of it.

Being the designated driver is serious business, with the police being the least of our worries. The roadways are dangerous enough when we're stone cold sober.

It's like I say: What a difference a country makes!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Those Charming British Country Lanes

I have a king-sized bed that is wider than those country lanes, which I think are suitable for one-way cycle traffic, but no, they carry two-way traffic consisting of motorcycles and cars, and trucks and busses, and uber-sized tractors.

I don't understand this because on both sides there are acres and acres of wide open land to widen the road and straighten out the curves. If all of the locals were as cautious as I am and drove at 10 miles per hour it wouldn't be so bad, but no, they fly around as though they were on the motorway.

I would  really like to describe my feelings when we came face to face with a massive John Deere tractor, but words will probably fail me. The tractor was emerging onto the lane from the fields and the driver apparently had no intention of stopping. At the last minute he saw us and stopped short. Given that he sits so high up I thought he could see for miles around, but he stopped so close to the car I near had a heart attack.

This seems like such an invitation for trouble that I seriously wonder why, in these modern times the situation has not been corrected?  There is tradition and custom sure, but we are talking about life and death, or at the least injury and property damage. I would have preferred not to have travelled along these paths but you don't get much choice. To get from A to B that's all there is. I'm back home now and I am able to uncurl my toes and relax my ass muscles, but I'll bet I lost several years due to the stress.

The irony is that these lanes exists in some of Britain's most beautiful countryside. It's a shame I couldn't fully enjoy the beauty without feeling certain I was about to die


Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Spain of the Mountains

There is that Spain that consists of the low lands that makes driving so very easy. We still manage to kill ourselves and one another on the roads when often we drive along straight open stretches with perfect visibility.

The people of the low lands are a breed unto ourselves. We take Nature for granted. We seem to think nothing of throwing our trash on the ground, and we have to be encouraged to treat the environment with kindness. Except for those people who make a special effort to walk or cycle, (probably because they have had exposure to the mountains) the rest of us want door-to-door car service. Even those of us who live in the country outside of towns and cities, with grand views of the mountains are spoiled. My wife and I live in what I like to describe as an orange tree forest. As far as the eye can see there are orange trees, interspersed with olive trees, and in the background there are the mountain ranges. Beautiful! We are so lucky, but what we have is just a taster of what the other Spain is like.

To experience the high country we have to go to the Spanish Pyrenees. This is the part of the country that takes us up to approximately 3,355+ metres or 11,007 feet above sea level. At that level the air is very light indeed and the going gets tough. This changes everything. The respect of humans changes to realise that in this district man is not king. We have to conduct ourselves with care and concern for the environment and for our own safety.

Starting with driving, those roads that we are so accustomed to simply disappear. The roads become twisting and winding and narrow. However, we still encounter large busses and mega-trucks. It is bad enough when a small car meets one of those beasts. I have no idea what happens when they meet one another on a bend.

Focus is everything. Keep your focus on the road ahead at all times. If you are having a conversation with a passenger sitting beside you, not for one second can you safely take your eyes off the road ahead to look in his direction. I experienced uphill gradients that are rarely encountered, and of course, on the other side there are downhill hairpin twists and turns on unpaved tracks. If your are moving just a little too fast and you slip and slide, that will likely be the end for you.

Our base was the small town of Broto where our son lives and works as a mountain guide. His idea of going for a hike often means going straight up the side of the mountain. We are suitably impressed by the skills he has trained for and acquired, and his knowledge of the mountain is truly encyclopaedic.

As a city slicker I always thought that a mountain is a mountain and once you have seen one, you've seen them all. However, from afar that may be so, but in reality they each have their own special characteristics. Mountains, including waterfalls and lakes and running rivers all represent some of Mother Nature's finest work. To go into these areas means that we should be prepared to be awed by the natural beauty of the natural world.

Expect the best from nature; take photos and leave only footprints; (make no trash) and take care of yourselves.

This advice is extended to all other city slickers like me. The people of the mountains live like this.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Those Hazard Lights

I have this to ask of every car manufacturer: If you are not already doing so, (most of you are not)please consider very carefully placing the button that operates the hazard lights somewhere that we drivers can find it without having to take our eyes away from the situation that is developing and forcing us to stop.

Now, as it is there suddenly develops a situation in front of us that requires us to suddenly stop and to quickly inform the traffic behind us of the danger. We dare not take our focus away from what is happening ahead, but we have to find that damn red triangle button. Most people, I guess react out of  great alarm and we find ourselves scrambling to find the button to activate those four lights.

The past three times I have needed to warn other traffic, in spite of knowing generally where the button is I still failed to locate it on a timely basis without losing my focus. If it is situated on the dashboard to the side of the steering wheel that's no good. If it is placed down on the part near the gear shift, no good because I have to look down. It can't be on the steering wheel because that moves, but perhaps if it were located directly above the steering wheel on the ceiling, or on the dashboard directly in front of the steering wheel I could find it without losing sight of the traffic in front of me.

This is a problem that has existed since motor vehicles were first created. Surely this is one that engineers can design for most efficient usage.

Hope to be able to benefit from more creative thinking on this subject soon.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Some encouraging statistics to live by

It seems drivers on Spanish roads have some relatively good news to celebrate. Deaths on our road system suffered the lowest number since records began in 1960. A total of 1,126 people lost their lives during 2015. The total for 1960 was 1,300. However there were only One million vehicles in all of Spain's roads during that year. Now there are 31 million, so had there been no improvement in our roads system, and had not there been any appreciable improvement in driver care and attention the figure would have been 40,300.

But there have been improvements. Things got a lot worse before getting better. The turning point came, not because drivers realised that if we didn't perform better we would lose our lives, but because the government introduced the points system. Suddenly no-one wanted to lose any points, so from that point onwards there has been a steady decline, except for one year when the number has fallen to the present level.

The report does not tell us what the percentage of young drivers in the 18-34age bracket were that died, but presumably it was 43%, or 476; because it was 19% or 211 in the bracket 35-44. The next bracket, 45-54 the result was 16% or 184; and in the top age bracket it was 22% or 255. So it appears that the two worst brackets are the young drivers and the old ones.

The Dgt are now considering putting forward suggestions for placing limitations upon older drivers who naturally lose some of their concentration as they age.

It comes as no surprise that male deaths account for 79%, while a pleasant surprise is that female losses actually declined by 14% over the previous year.

An instructive statistic is that fully 22% of persons who died did so because they were not wearing their seatbelts. There can be no excuse for this. It is a reflex action to simply cross over the belt and click it into it's lock. If we don't do this it has to be believed to be a deliberate choice because you have a death complex. Therefore, if you do die the cause must surely be one of suicide.

Drive safely, and buckle up!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Vacation Driving

We have now entered that most dangerous time of year on the roads. Driving for our Vacations. This is when we load up the car with the whole family and head for the hills or the beach. We are trying to leave all thoughts of terrorism behind and hopefully to take our families somewhere safe to relax and enjoy one another.

This is an appeal to common sense drivers, because all too often the driver, who is charged with getting everyone there and back safely, becomes the terrorist himself or herself. If we drink alcohol, or drive after a heavy meal, or allow ourselves to become distracted; and especially is we don't stop when we start to feel drowsy we can inflict more damage on the whole family than any terrorist.

The Number One killer on the road during vacation time is closing our eyes due to tiredness. It can strike at any time of day or night. Long straight roads are boring, and boredom leads to tiredness and you only need to close your eyes once. You will most probably never open them again.

So, stay sober and off any type of thing that may impair your judgement, and above all, stay awake!

Live to vacation again next year.

Good luck!

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Car Marketing

Why make a car that is capable of reaching speeds of 275 km/h? Where you going to get up to such speeds driving normally?

Why make a car with a sunroof? On a bright and sunny day when you roll back the top you start to bake. After five minutes you no longer can take it so you close it again. Why?

Why make a convertible car where the whole top comes off. When the top is on and the car is parked it is also locked. With the top off,  the car is open to the world, and if it should rain while you are in a building that will be an authentic disaster. Why do we do these things?

It's all about marketing!

We keep talking about how fast the car can go from 0-60. This is important when you are trying to enter the motorway and you need to get ahead of the lorry that is thundering down on you. Then you need acceleration and it's great fun to both the car driver and the trucker to see you get ahead and be reduced to a mere dot on the horizon in 2.5 seconds. However, to do that you have to have a clear road ahead and you will be breaking the speed laws.

Otherwise, the legal limit remains at 120 km/h, so why do we need twice as much capacity? The answer is, we don't. The trouble is that some drivers who have excrement where their brains are supposed to be do try and reach such speeds along roads that are being used by other traffic. These are drivers trying to commit suicide.

The only real use I find for my sunroof is that I can park the car and leave the roof in the flipped up position which allows the heat that would normally build in the car to escape. Other than that, if I want the wind to flow through the car while moving I can simply open the window panes on the doors while staying cool.

There was a time when the idea of the convertible was very attractive. That was before we actually owned such a car and discovered for ourselves all the many problems that come along with driving around with the top down. The idea lost favour to the extent that these days you have to be someone who just wants to be different by owning one. That's fine!

While we are on the subject of marketing it's worth a look at the 4X4 phenomena. I'm willing to bet that 99.999% of all 4X4 vehicles have never been anywhere near such appropriate terrain. Most are such sparkling and delightful cars that we even hate to drive through puddles in the street, let alone the mud of the off-road territory. However, the thing they are best at is giving defense against other lesser machines, especially when carrying children, which is probably why so many mothers on the school run drive them.

Strange then that nothing is said in the marketing for these vehicles about their efficacy in protecting the vulnerable occupants. That would actually be marketing that made good sense. No matter, the mothers figured it out for themselves, which gives new meaning to, "Mother knows Best!"

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The man without a Brain

This week I suffered at the hands of a man who has excrement where his brain is supposed to be.

We were driving along a three lane one-way system. I was in the middle lane overtaking the car on my right as he was preparing to exit when a car passed me to my left, only to immediately slow down and cut across myself and the car next to me, because he too wanted to use the exit. Both I and the other driver had to touch our brakes because of that jerk.

As I passed him I could see that he was about 45, wearing a white shirt and tie, looking smug and calm as though he had not just done the unforgivable. He knew he wanted to exit the highway, so why did he not simply get in lane to make the move by joining the line of cars that were exiting. No, he had to overtake those cars and undertake a dangerous move that put him a few cars ahead.

Bastard!

He was driving an Audi, and I suppose he holds a post that involves responsibility. On the road he is a complete lunatic, and I think that Karma will catch up with him one day, making him just another statistic. I only hope that he doesn't take someone innocent with him.

When it does happen I will not waste any sympathy on him. The way I felt at the time I would have gladly permanently hastened his exit from the roads.

I should not let people like that get to me. I can only wish for the day when all humans will not have the option to drive.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Motoring Clubs

I have been focusing on the unexplained need to form and join a club if you own a car or motorbike. Within the United Kingdom there are thousands of clubs, of which I have been a member of two.

I have been a member of Essex Goldwings Club, and during my time with the club I thoroughly enjoyed trips out when 500 thundering bikes would go on a run. Normally we would have police escorts to manage such a large group, which could have been a lot worse because there a thousands of Goldwing enthusiasts about.

Now, I no longer have the bike, which became too heavy for me. I now drive a Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign which is one of the classics of the Jaguar line. For those people who live within a reasonable radius of their club's head office they have built a complete life-style around their cars. We see them often pictured at a stop for lunch. Everybody always looks so happy.

What is the psychology involved in forming car clubs? In the U.K. there are classic car clubs that involve many brands; and then there are specific brand name clubs where owners celebrate the quality workmanship that has gone into their beloved machine. These machines, whether motorcycles or cars or trucks are the genius of other people, but we find ourselves tenderly caressing them with great pride.  All we have to do is just watch a person when they are cleaning their vehicle and we will see how lovingly and protectively we go about the task at hand.

I often say that we men should treat our women with even a percentage of the tender loving care we reserve for our automobiles and we would be well appreciated. Its as though when we buy a particular brand of car we become a member of that tribe. I certainly think that some Volvo drivers let the side down. They are few in number, and that's a good thing because I expect a certain decorum from my fellow Volvo drivers.

In thinking about this I see that communities build together in many ways. People buy and wear apparel that is made by this or that designer. In doing so we often try to set ourselves apart and above  the ordinary consumer. When I say that I am a member of the Jaguar Enthusiast Club, am I suggesting that I am above the Ford Owners Club of America; or do I feel the next level to reach is that of member of the Maserati Member's Circle?

I'm sure that some of this is inspired, and even funded by commercial interests. After all, group activity drives brand loyalty, and that brings in even more buyers and members, but on the whole it does seem to be a thing in general that we need to belong.

Perhaps I'm overthinking the subject. No-one else seems to be guilty of doing that. They just belong and are happy that they do.

I'll let you know when I enter the Maserati circle.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael