Billboards

As though we are not busy enough trying to safely navigate our way through the heavy traffic loads, thousands of merchants place their messages, which they seem to think are s-o-o-o important, right where they will distract us the most. The roadsides are becoming so fully lined with these idiotic signs that if you did what they are suggesting and read each one, it would be like reading the newspaper while driving. How on earth are you supposed to drive with due care and caution if you are supposed to pay attention to these things?

Firstly, I have some news for the advertisers who pay good money to hire these board spaces: I have never been persuaded to buy one single solitary thing by a billboard message, and I feel so bloody minded about them that I never will.

For the purposes of this piece I stopped my car, got out to actually take note of what the advertisers want me to see. Well, just how important are these messages. Upon entering L’Eliana from the CV-35 we are confronted by nothing but boards. The fact that most of these boards are on the first major roundabout is not lost on drivers. We are wondering who on earth approved these things in the exact worst spot one can imagine.

There is one for Bingo Osito. Somewhere in the shopping centre at El Osito is a Bingo hall and they would like all of us to change direction and come play Bingo with them. I don’t think so! The people who are into that sort of thing know they are there.

Corporea Wellness Club would like to welcome us into their group. Well, good health is important, but if I’m trying to read their board and I run into the car in front of me, that will do nothing to promote my good health.

The Music Escuela, “Musicorum” really want us to come learn to play the guitar. Can’t that wait? Peralta Fabrica de Compras seem to be trying to sell us something. You won’t be able to figure out what while on the move. A lot of good that’s doing!

Decathalon have just opened a huge new shop on the opposite side of the road to the entrance to L’Eliana. The building is impossible not to see when entering and leaving L’Eliana. So, do they really need to place their message on billboards so close to their store? Also, Leroy Merlin operates a massive presence within El Osito, and very close to it there’s a billboard announcing I should come and shop with them. The billboard nearly obscures the store when you catch the angle just right.

I stood in front of a board advertising “Olvidate”, that’s “forget about it” when translated. A very good idea because I can’t figure out what this wants me to do other than forget it. Mark that one done.

There’s also one advertising J&B Scotch, which I do drink, and Rokelin, who offer the taste of something or other.

The one that tops them all is the sign for the Blue Sex Factory that suggests gifts for mujeres and couples. Nothing for guys? That’s one thing about the culture in Spain that I do appreciate, and that is the healthy attitude towards sex. Here they seem to feel everyone should do it until well satisfied.

Anyway, you get the idea. However, this gets me going so much probably because I come from an island where billboard advertising is simply not allowed. Neither are neon lit signs, and there are size restrictions on business names that are fixed to their buildings. I’m actually irritated by all this clutter, so much so that when I’m driving out of it and into the country where there is nothing of the sort I feel a big relief.

I do know about subliminal suggestions that give a person ideas that he is not aware he has taken on, but I can assure all of those responsible for the above mess, they have utterly failed to sell me anything. Where I have bought something that they sell it was because of entirely different reasons. I might even consider penalizing advertisers who spoil the environment by not supporting them.

So, to the Minister(s) responsible I say, clean up this act. No-one is going to go to sleep while driving because they don’t have anything to read.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael