The Ultimate Road Test
Smoky is behind You!
Has this ever happened to you? You leave home in the car and no sooner have you got on to the main road a police car comes up behind you, and he stays there, never passing you, and seemingly going wherever it is you are going.
That’s when everything you ever learned in driving school comes back into your mind in sharp fashion. You observe every rule to the letter, and you feel hypocritical doing so, but you know you are being graded, especially during these days when the police get a bonus for bringing in traffic fines.
So, the first thing you remember to do is place both hands on the wheel. When passing through towns you are super alert to pedestrians who might cross on the crosswalks. You see every speed indication sign, and you make certain that you are moving at the correct minimum speed before you reach the sign.
The worst thing is when you come up behind a tractor travelling at 40 kph. You have to wait until the road indicates that you may overtake, and for that to happen you may have to move at 40 for quite some time. Without the police on your tail you would have swung out and around the tractor a long time ago, even if it was a little risky. Where are you finding such patience?
When you come to a stop sign you actually stop. Some people think that if you are moving at about 20 kph you are virtually stopped. No! Stop means no wheels moving for at least a count of three. Jesus! Being a law-abiding citizen is a real pain in the ass.
One of the most difficult parts of the test comes when you enter a slower speed zone. Most slow-down zones are due to the presence of danger, and ideally there should be signs to allow resumption to the normal speed. However, very often such signs are missing leaving the driver to assume when he can return to the higher speed level. That may be fine when you do not have the police behind you..
The number of times you think of stopping at a place that is not your destination just to shake those bastards off your tail is becoming boring, but you keep going until you really reach your destination. The police continue on their way, having noted how careful you are as a driver. Perhaps they will send you some kind of commendation so that you will feel a little better about having been put through such hell.
Curiously, when the same police car comes up behind you at night you carry on driving as usual, paying no attention whatsoever as to who is driving. You may even get into a race with him if he teases you just right.
As much as such an experience is to be avoided at all costs, there is an experience that is even more objectionable: that is being followed by a funeral hearse. They seem to be saying: “ready when you are.”
Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael
Has this ever happened to you? You leave home in the car and no sooner have you got on to the main road a police car comes up behind you, and he stays there, never passing you, and seemingly going wherever it is you are going.
That’s when everything you ever learned in driving school comes back into your mind in sharp fashion. You observe every rule to the letter, and you feel hypocritical doing so, but you know you are being graded, especially during these days when the police get a bonus for bringing in traffic fines.
So, the first thing you remember to do is place both hands on the wheel. When passing through towns you are super alert to pedestrians who might cross on the crosswalks. You see every speed indication sign, and you make certain that you are moving at the correct minimum speed before you reach the sign.
The worst thing is when you come up behind a tractor travelling at 40 kph. You have to wait until the road indicates that you may overtake, and for that to happen you may have to move at 40 for quite some time. Without the police on your tail you would have swung out and around the tractor a long time ago, even if it was a little risky. Where are you finding such patience?
When you come to a stop sign you actually stop. Some people think that if you are moving at about 20 kph you are virtually stopped. No! Stop means no wheels moving for at least a count of three. Jesus! Being a law-abiding citizen is a real pain in the ass.
One of the most difficult parts of the test comes when you enter a slower speed zone. Most slow-down zones are due to the presence of danger, and ideally there should be signs to allow resumption to the normal speed. However, very often such signs are missing leaving the driver to assume when he can return to the higher speed level. That may be fine when you do not have the police behind you..
The number of times you think of stopping at a place that is not your destination just to shake those bastards off your tail is becoming boring, but you keep going until you really reach your destination. The police continue on their way, having noted how careful you are as a driver. Perhaps they will send you some kind of commendation so that you will feel a little better about having been put through such hell.
Curiously, when the same police car comes up behind you at night you carry on driving as usual, paying no attention whatsoever as to who is driving. You may even get into a race with him if he teases you just right.
As much as such an experience is to be avoided at all costs, there is an experience that is even more objectionable: that is being followed by a funeral hearse. They seem to be saying: “ready when you are.”
Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael
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