Not Among the Usual Suspects

To Protect and to Serve

If you were in Valencia during this week, May 11th to 16th, you might have noticed the police presence. The fact is that seldom has so many police been seen so close together. It appeared that the focus was on proper documentation. As I drove around I came upon check- points in downtown Valencia, in the suburbs, in the boonies, in fact, just about everywhere.

It got to be so ridiculous that motorists were stopped at one roundabout, and when they left that one they were possibly stopped again at the very next roundabout. The extraordinary thing is that I drove throughout the week and went through many of these police stops without actually being pulled over. I have to say that I am a black man from Bermuda, which is so close to the United States I can’t help making comparisons between Spain and the U.S.

I have said this before, and it bears repeating: the Spanish police appear to be one of the most disciplined bodies that I have ever seen. There might be those who disagree, but from the standpoint of policing without prejudice they seem to have it right.

Respect for law and order starts with the police enforcement in the streets. In democracies policing is by consent, so to have the police acting like Nazis brings the institution into disrepute. That never stopped the police of several cities in the U.S. Ask any black man about their experience with the police, and whether they have respect for them. Unfortunately, the response will always be negative, even when you are talking to professionals, especially the lawyers. The practise of bigoted policemen was, and probably still is to harass black men, and if the citizen appears to be someone upstanding and professional they become a special target. Should he be driving a high end car he is made to step out of the car, and to prove how he was able to buy the car.

The most amazing thing is that when there are two policemen on duty together, and one is black the harassment continues. However, when the police come upon the gang-bangers driving their customized Humvees that were obviously bought with drug money, the cops pass them by. That is because they know the car is loaded with guns.

So, imagine if you can a situation where you only get stopped if you merit it, or you simply draw the short straw. I fully expect to be pulled over from time to time and have to produce my documentation. This is simply the role of the police, and when they are doing this they are protecting me against unlicensed and uninsured drivers, so I have no objection at all. It’s just very nice to live in a country where the rule of law is served even-handed.


Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Diplomatic Plates

I have just purchased a second-hand big, beautiful, shiny Jaguar with diplomatic plates. Unfortunately I have had to turn in the plates, but I’m left holding this marvellous car, and that has led me to wondering what would it be like to drive a car with immunity to prosecution?

The whole topic of the Diplomatic Corp is so off the radar that average people can have no real concept of what Diplomatic Immunity can mean. Fundamentally it is an agreement between governments not to prosecute each other’s agents while they are performing their duties in foreign countries. It is ancient practise based upon mutual and reciprocal understanding that a person so protected will not have to appear before the court in the host country.

However, under certain circumstances the host country may request that the diplomat be withdrawn, or the host country may expel that person. In cases of serious crimes committed by the diplomat the immunity may be withdrawn by the official’s home country, and that would allow for full prosecution as an ordinary citizen.

While all this protection sounds wonderful, the fact is that a person who is a diplomat should be the last person to break the law. Usually we expect someone in that position to be undertaking very serious work on behalf of their native country, and consequently should know better.

That has a nice sound to it, but the fact is that the most egregious acts committed by diplomats usually happen when they are under the influence of alcohol. Drunken diplomats behind the wheel have killed people, and if the home country refuses to lift the immunity the host country cannot prosecute. The record is complete with many examples of this sort of thing happening; however, these days the trend is more towards either lifting the immunity in the host country, or bringing the official home to be prosecuted under home laws. Governments are becoming less tolerant of irresponsible behaviour by their officials abroad. At the least it is an embarrassment, and at worse it seriously damages the reputation of the home country.

There is one area that tends to frustrate more than anything else, and that is parking. In New York, home to the United Nations, and consequently the place where practically every other person is a diplomat, cars on diplomatic plates are regularly parked provocatively against the law. Curiously, policemen insist on ticketing such cars, and those tickets get ignored leading the City to complain to The State Department. Countries tend to have a rule that such parking tickets should be paid and the offence not repeated. However, these offences tend to be committed by drivers in their bosses’ name, presumably as a means to feel big.

So, just for a moment I thought it might be nice to be able to do things that not even the police can do…… with their police cars. But then, I went and lay down until the feeling went away, and I gave back the plates.

We can all dream, can’t we?


Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

20 Minutes

It only takes two seconds to have a collision

My driving story this week is a real winner. It is all about whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

I discovered a 1995 Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign that has been maintained in showroom condition as it is a diplomatic car on diplomatic plates. It has been used to ferry top brass for American NATO in Europe, but after fourteen years its time to move on.

Fortunately, my Volvo has been demanding a lot of attention as it needs a number of parts to be replaced. This I understand, but it does mean that the car is constantly not available to me as it goes through this refurbishment stage, so I decided I would need a second car to get me around.

This brought me into contact with one of the greatest guys I could ever hope to meet. He has been absolutely wonderful, to the extent that acquiring the car is probably the least of it. With people such as Chris going about the world as ambassadors the United States will soon regain its position in the world as a country that everyone looks up to, especially for its people.

So, we concluded our business in the sale and purchase of the car, and I drove away. The plan was to meet with friends for a coffee, then to go home. I never made it to the meeting place.

I was driving along when I encountered a pedestrian crossing with two pedestrian about to cross, so I bought the automatic JAG to a nice and gentle halt. Then, I heard the screeching of tyres as a 4x4 came bearing down on me. With the pedestrians now right in front of me I could do nothing but wait for the impact. However, the 4x4 came to a halt with only about a hair’s width between us, but before I could exhale there came a crash from behind the 4x4, that in turn caused it to bump into me. At this point, I had possession of the car for twenty minutes.

I simply could not believe it!

My first reaction was to go ballistic, but I soon cooled down and went to take a look. Where was the damage? The third car had plenty to contend with. The second car had it back and front. I had nothing. This was too good to be true. I checked over the car several times, and I noticed that the license plate of the 4x4 was bent, meaning that it had collided with my bumper. The effect of that was to give me a little push, and also lessening the pressure I had on the brake, thereby moving the JAG forward. By this time the pedestrians had jumped out of the way.

It seems that the 4x4 was being driven by a mother who appears to have been distracted by her daughter (who may not have been wearing a seatbelt). When realising that I had stopped she braked hard, and that may have thrown the little girl around. We pulled off the road and there was much commotion around that car. The husband got out to exchange details and the wife sped off with pandemonium taking place in the car.

Of course, in a case like this, it’s always the driver who comes from behind that is at fault. The Seat was at fault for the damage caused to the 4x4, and the 4x4 was responsible to me. Had I been closer to the pedestrian crossing to cause injury to the pedestrians that would have been my fault. So, apart from not boding well for my ownership of this fabulous car, there are some lessons to be learned. When you are driving you cannot allow yourself to be distracted or panicked. You are completely in charge of a motor vehicle, so therefore it is your absolute responsibility. Secondly, driving at an appropriate speed is always appropriate, taking all circumstances into consideration.

All passengers must be strapped in. I cannot say for certain that the little girl was allowed to move around without a seatbelt, but it did appear that way. Fortunately she didn’t seem to be too badly hurt, although that is difficult to say. Lastly, something that I have learned over the more than fifty years of driving experience is that you always need to leave adequate room between yourself and the person or thing in front of you, just in case of situations such as this.

This is the thing that people find difficult to understand: that if you are pushed into someone or something in front of you, it becomes your fault for not having left enough room to consider the faults of others.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

CUENCA

Who Did This?

Over the Easter holidays four of us took a little drive from Valencia to Cuenca City. It was the realisation of a long held promise by Pepe to give us a guided tour of the city in which he grew up and came to know so well. He made this promise ten years ago, and finally we got to make the journey.

The city itself is an important centre of commerce with about 50,000 residents. It seems to be fairly well laid out and quite modern. Pepe had not been in the city for a long enough period to notice that there had been many changes. To begin with, he first visited the hotel in which we lodged when he was nine years old. He recalled going there to visit when it was a Convent, trembling with fear that was appropriate for the nuns.

It is now a Parador, a state-owned and run hotel that has a commanding view over the great Gorge. It retains vestiges of its religious past, including the confessional that now houses a telephone in each recess. I tried to convince Pepe that modern technology allowed for him to place a direct call to El Jefe, instead of having to go through someone here on earth. He was not amused.

The principal reason why there were several busloads of Japanese tourists there was to see the Hanging Houses, (Las Casas Colgadas). In my opinion, we go there to celebrate this bit of utter lunacy. While there are only three houses that have been built in this manner, the entire Gorge is lined with other buildings that are close to the edge, but far enough back to be reasonable. If the ground ever moves in that area the famous three houses will be history.

So we, like the Japanese went for the same reason, and to add to that bit of folly we dared to have lunch in the building that is the restaurant. Many jokes were made about whether we should start with dessert, just in case the meal didn’t last all the way through to that point.

I can hear in my head the builders who put it all together standing back when it was finished and musing “I wonder how long the houses will stay there?” Well, apparently a very long time. The historical blurb states that it is not known who the architect/culprit responsible was, although it seems to have Moorish origins. The buildings date back to about the 14th-15th centuries and are now used partly by the Museum of Abstract Art, (Las Casas del Rey), and the restaurant (La Casa de la Sirena). Although I am being a little critical I nonetheless recommend you should visit as you won’t believe your eyes.

As you are in the Province of Cuenca there are a couple of other things that are worthy of your time and interest. One is to pay a visit to the birthplace of the River Cuervo. (El Nacimiento del Rio Cuervo). If you’re like me, from a country that has no rivers or lakes, to be in the presence of such a great river is a real treat. It begins in the normal manner of water flooding out from underground, but this river then immediately falls from a great height before going on its way, a very impressive start to a journey that will impact so heavily upon so many regions and people. We were there as the snow was melting and that added to the authenticity.

I reserve my greatest plaudits for something so incredible as to be practically beyond belief. I’m talking about El Ciudad de Encantada, The Enchanted City. Apparently, many moons ago, in spite of the high elevation this area was under water, and the wash of the water worn down the rocks forming many extraordinary natural shapes. You do have to have an imagination, but it doesn’t have to be that good for you to be able to see all manner of replications of animals and ships and this and that. It is truly astounding for the fact that it is all-natural. In this it is sort of a Disney World type of experience except that man has not had any hand in its design and making.

The amazing thing to me on top of everything else was that Pepe reflected on the many visits that he made as a young child, and again with his family when it was not a tourist point of interest, and the fact that they climbed all over areas that are now practically sacred.

How cool is that?

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

The Surprise at the End of the Road

The Different Personalities of a Roadway

I’m sure that at one time or another you have travelled most of the length of a particular road, but I believe that there are very few people who have actually gone end-to-end on any road. I just wondered how things might turn out for you if you did. I recently got to drive a distance farther than I have ever done before along the CV-35, otherwise known as the Pista de Ademuz in Valencia.

This is a roadway that I travel in part most days. I usually enter it at about kilometre 27 or 24 and I go in the direction towards Valencia City, so I’m counting down to zero. This section of the road has been upgraded and is now a first class Autovia with three and sometimes four lanes in the same direction. All of the bottlenecks that have caused us so much pain have been deleted, and it is now a real joy.

With a little imagination we can see the highway as something that has character. With this particular roadway it has a big, bold, brass, city-slicker personality the closer we get to downtown Valencia. It keeps up this façade until we pass La Pobla del Valbona. At that time a bit of its bravado slips and we go from three lanes to two in the same direction. Now, gone are the brassy Centro Comerciales with all their bright lights. We are evidently entering The Country side of life. Farms actually become noticeable, and we can feel a sigh escape us as we sense less claustrophobia. The condition of the road remains very good as we pass Lliria, the seat of the government in the east.

Soon there will be a major hospital located in this region to serve residents, who have had to make the journey all the way into Valencia to attend at a major centre.

We continue along a straight two-lane very excellent road that some people mistake for a racetrack. This is real country now with wide-open spaces on both sides of the road. We pass Domeño and head for the town of Casinos. The road previously ran right through the town. Now it by-passes Casinos altogether. We wonder how much of a loss that might be for the merchants.

Now the road is down to one lane in each direction, although the road is in excellent condition. For the remainder of the CV-35 we will have to be content with no more than that. However, it’s the state of those two lanes that are the subject of concern. The road will take us through Losa del Obispo, Calles, Chelva, Tuéjar, Titaguas, Aras del Olmas, all of which are within the Communidad de Valencia. The road, although it degrades, is still reasonably good up until kilometre 90. Then it degrades further into not much more than a country cami, the sort of roadway that existed and served the Seat 600 so long ago. There are curves upon curves, and two cars of today’s sizes can barely pass without knocking off mirrors.

The CV-35 ends at kilometre 107. That’s where we pass out of the Valencian community until we re-enter at Ademuz. At km 107 we can hardly believe that this is a part of the bold and sassy CV-35 we know from farther down the line.

When we think back and reflect upon all the complaints we had because we were delayed for a few moments, and we compare that with conditions at the end of the line, we realise we didn’t have anything to complain about after all.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Underground Parking Lots

Underground Parking Lots
The entrance into Hell?

I came upon an underground parking lot in Valencia with which I have no complaints at all. The drive in is wide and comfortable to manoeuvre; the bays are wide enough to park even a large car with room enough to open the doors; and getting out again can be done without leaving your paintwork along the sides of the walls. This is a new site and truly an exception in an otherwise hellish experience offered to drivers.

To begin with such places are usually under lit, giving the impression that you have ventured down into the depths of hell. Often just paying for your stay can be frustrating. I have been into a few that make it a challenge to get a Volvo five-seater car into without scratching or denting the vehicle. The smog bastards who run these places simply say it’s not their fault if you damage your car. It certainly is their fault!

I recently was leaving a department store and I could not find where to pay for my ticket. There are several exits from the store into the parking garage, but only one in which the machines are located. There is not one sign that directs drivers to that place, consequently so much time is wasted (and paid for) while trying to pay. Then, the exits involve very tight turns so that unless you are driving anything other than a Smart Car you will have to be very careful indeed. There is ample evidence of people who were not careful enough.

As if all that were not enough to bring on Parking Garage rage, there’s the cost involved. This seems to be one recession-proof industry as costs continue on an upward spiral.

That’s why you need to know that the Agua Shopping Mall in Valencia that is located alongside the Arts and Science Museum offers shoppers three hours free parking; and the Mercado Fuencarril, located along the old river bed at the base of Avda Campoamour offers two hours free in garages that are fairly well appointed and well lit.

Better still, leave the car on the outskirts of the city and travel in on public transport.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

My Mechanic and Me

Of one thing I’m certain: it’s a man thing. It’s amazing how we can value our motor mechanic relationship higher than the one with our doctor. In both cases finding just the relationship that works is very difficult. So many of us prize our cars and we want someone who is knowledgeable and sympathetic to care for our pride and joy.

How ridiculous can our obsession get? I once had a Volkswagon Scirroco that I prized to the extreme. Each evening when I got home I would give it a wipe over, put it in the garage, then cover it. How dopey is that? It’s a car! It’s a utility that gets me from A to B and back again. It will get dirty and scratched and pranged and dented, and worse. That is the nature of the game. But, there I was treating it as though it were a live thing, with the greatest of Tender Loving Care. Women can only wish that we men take the same degree of care and attention with them. Like I said, it’s a silly man thing.

Like so many things, there comes a time when we have to trust to others to take care of business, and so it was when my car came to a full stop suffering from a broken hose spilling a lot of boiling hot water into the street. I did the natural thing by calling a grua, (tow-truck) to pick it up and take it to my trusted garage. I called them to say what had happened, fully expecting that as they were the authorised dealer they would figure out where the break had taken place, and to fix it. Wrong! Big mistake! A 700 euro mistake, as it turned out.

They put the water system under pressure but no water appeared to escape, so they changed the radiator and a pump, as being the most likely culprits. I drove the car away only to find that it was having the same problem I went in with. Back it went to have the problem taken care of, but now we have a new problem. I have paid a bill for 700 euros (910 dollars) for things that I did not need at the time to be changed. Granted, a new radiator and pump would add life to my old car, and if I actually had that much money that I would not miss, there would not have been a problem. But, in these days, or even in the good old times, a 700 euro mistake is a big one.

I take my car to an authorised dealer because they are supposed to have the equipment and the experience to avoid guessing. I can get guessing at a much less cost. My mechanic guessed and got it completely wrong, at my cost. Now that the parts are on the car, would it have been reasonable to ask that they be removed and the original be put back, assuming that the originals were available? Probably not!

Well, now we know that the leak was coming from the heating element and water went everywhere when it was hot. When the water was cold it simply went inside my car where it went undetected under my carpets. Could this really have been the first time something like that had occurred? If it should ever happen to me again I will be sure to check that possibility out.

When your doctor lets you down and you die, that’s just one of those things. When your mechanic lets you down and you lose your faith, that’s the end of the world!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Take Care out There

I wish this motorcyclist was wearing a reflective vest to be seen to be safe!

The following scene all took place within about ten seconds. It was completely instructive and could have saved the average driving student weeks of training.

A motorcyclist was following a car far too closely and apparently was intending to overtake inappropriately.
The car driver seemed to suddenly realise that he needed to enter a side road that he was then passing, so he made a sharp left turn into the entrance. Were it not for the motorcyclist who was entirely too close, no-one else would have been disturbed by the manoeuvre.
The cyclist became so alarmed and enraged that he started giving the car loud mouth abuse while at the same time looking over his shoulder to deliver it. I don’t think that the driver had any clue what was happening.
Coming towards the biker was another car and they were headed for a head-on collision. The driver blasted his horn and the biker got another scare, and the collision was avoided by mere millimetres.

The moral of the story is: (a) Keep your distance; (b) do not overtake along two-way road systems unless it is abundantly clear that it is safe to do so; (c) when in the process of making a mistake it is safer to play the mistake out properly by going on to the next roundabout or entrance, then driving back. (d) Lastly, keep your eyes on the road ahead. Road conditions are constantly changing.

It’s a jungle out there! Take care.


Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Go Full, Return Empty

A Yellow Canary

This isn’t even possible, but in the world of hire cars this is one of the very common terms that you are expected to adhere to. Basically, if you don’t have to hire a car then you would be well advised not to do so. One thing is clear, whatever you think you will pay you will eventually end up paying more….much more.

We have just completed an around Andalusia driving tour, and the truth is that we thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but the hire companies do get you. We responded to a come on from one company that promised a car for six days at a cost of 60 euros. The actual cost to us before we even turned the key was 127 euros. The terrible thing was that the company that we chose was one of the better ones.

The basic rental was as advertised, however, added to that was the cost of the full tank of petrol at 48 euros. This was a Kia Picanto, bright yellow, that reminded me of driving around in a canary, with a very small tank that holds 35 litros. The cost to fill up is about 30 euros.

Then, they charge 2 euros a day for the second driver. What’s this for? Probably nothing, but they can charge it, so they do

You are advised to take out comprehensive insurance cover that pays from the first euro. No excess charge fee for the insured driver is a very good thing, because if there is an excess charge you’ll probably get stuck with it, even for minor scratches that were already there but not noticed by you when you picked up the car. (At least that has been my experience.)

Then there is the little matter of the cost of the insurance. Comprehensive cover for my car in my name would cost about 750 euros annually. That’s about 2 euros a day. However, some companies charge a per day charge of a specific amount for this cover that is over and above the basic rental. I have paid around Î5.00 a day. We can quickly see the profit involved there.

Car hire is like travelling by plane. You know it’s going to be painful, but it’s just one of those irritants that we learn to live with.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

General Motors and All that Jazz

We have been hearing for some time that automakers in the United States have been facing some very difficult times. They have been before the U.S. Senate asking for government funding to keep them afloat. Originally their request was denied, however former president Bush signed an executive order appropriating funds to assist them. However, General Motors are now saying that was not enough, and that their problems are so deep seated that they are seriously facing bankruptcy.

The three major automakers in the U.S. are GM, Ford, and Chrysler. Together, with smaller parts makers, they are the most labour intensive industry in the United States. The consequences of GM closing are the same as the sky falling. It simply cannot be imagined.

U.S. automakers are in large part their own worst enemy. They have failed to make good, fuel economy cars that Americans want to buy. That gave an opportunity to Japanese firms to satisfy that market, resulting in the loss of that market to the Big Three. But the problem that they now face is common to all automakers, in that as people lose their jobs, or watch a shrinking economy, car sales have fallen like a heavy rock.

Many of their workers have already been sent home as they are overproducing inventory that no one is buying. A complete closure would add so many people to the unemployed roster as to spell complete disaster.

Filmmakers have put their imagination to work in creating disaster films where people live like rats in underground sewers and abandoned buildings without law and order.

As a reality, is this so difficult to imagine? Stay tuned!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

The Annual Examination

Here in Spain the examination of your vehicle is undertaken by the ITV, which means Inspeción Tecnica Vehiculo. This is a private business that works in concert for the government, something that we call a Quango in the U.K. The government here would say that it has outsourced the problem.

I have written about annual examinations before, and I return briefly to say that life has gotten a little bit better as they streamline their operations. Now, you can make an appointment on-line for your annual inspection. Instead of showing up without an appointment you can now show up at the designated time and be seen to within a reasonable waiting period.

Normally, this is a very painful experience that takes up to two hours of staying with your vehicle and moving it forward one car space at a time. Taxi drivers demanded that the system be improved so that they need not spend two hours going through this twice a year.

So, the appointment system was created for them, but other people saw what was happening and spoke up in indignation. In response the opportunity has been thrown open to everyone, but amazingly most people still prefer to go and simply wait the two, or more hours.

I expect the system will catch on. Then it will change into one whereby it will be difficult to get an appointment unless booking a year ahead.

Good Luck!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Goodbye Old Friend

Well, it’s taken me five years to do it, but I finally called in the grua to take away our1992 Fiat Tempra station wagon. It has sat around on the property all that time as a good and faithful friend. Every time that I went to run the engine it answered promptly, even though the spiders took it over as their own home. It developed that old person smell after a while, as compared to the new car smell, so we knew it was getting along in age.

We stopped driving it because it developed a problem of jack-rabbiting, or hiccupps that absolutely no mechanic in the land was able to clear up. They could alleviate the effects a bit, but the problem always came back again. To say that it was embarrassing is an understatement. Finally, we bought another car and simply parked the Fiat and forgot about it.

I did start it periodically to keep the battery charged, and then, after about a year of this I decided that it was time to get rid of it. So, I started it up and moved it and the problem was no longer in evidence, and was never experienced again. It seems that all it needed was a vacation. However, to pass it through itv it would also have needed a few other things done to it that would have probably cost more than we could have sold it for.

So, with reluctance and a heavy heart I called in the grua and we drove it on to the truck, I gave it a pat on its rump to say “farewell and thank you”, and it was gone.
It’s funny how attached we can become to things. A car is supposed to be an inanimate object, but once we turn the key it bursts forth into life and becomes something full of energy. We call our cars names, even some not-so-polite ones, but that has the effect of endearing them to us. It might be an SOB, but it’s my SOB.

So Fiat Tempra V-7964-EB, wherever you are, you are gone but not forgotten.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Games Drivers Play

I can’t say that I actually enjoy driving, but I do enjoy the right to get up and go when I wish, and the facility of getting from point “A” to point “B” at my own leisure. In fact, while making my journeys I can get quite a bit bored, especially when going over the same territory every day. So, I like so many other people turn to simple games, or worse, daydreaming about what I will do with my winnings from the lottery.

That’s not good because sometimes you get into your own little world and fail to take in all the details that are necessary. I try to avoid that, but a simple little game of taking note of car license plates is harmless enough.

You may have noticed that here in Spain the numbering system employs four digits numerals. These range from 0000 to 9999. Therefore, there are 9999 vehicles in each grouping, followed by alphabet letters to denote the number grouping. What I mean by that is, the first grouping would have been 0000 to 9999 –A. There would have been 26 groups of single letter plates. At the front of the series would be the community letter. Thus, V-9999-A was a vehicle that was registered in the Valencia community, and was the last one in that series.

It is always a joy for me to spot a car with a single letter. It will be a very old car, because when you buy a new car you usually have to accept the new registration number.

Once all the single letters were issued they moved on to double letter series, repeating the same formula. Now three letters are being employed. I have already seen CNT and FCK. I can’t wait for the four-letter series.

The Spanish DGT (Trafico) had its origins in 1778 under Royal Decree that gave it it’s mandate. The General Rules of the Road (las normativos) were not formed until 1899. The original speed limits were 28km/h on roads between towns, and 15 km/h in town. In Valencia City that speed has hardly increased on most days. Some times, on average it has decreased.

The first car in Europe was created in 1769 for a man named Nicolas Joseph Cugnot. It was operated on steam and was invented by a man named James Walt.

The modern car had its birth in Germany in 1886. It was developed by Karl benz and Gottlieb Daimeler. The original matricula was PM-1. I suppose if that was in Britain it might have meant Prime Minister.

So, my game continues to be trying to make something of license plates. I am reminded of people whom I know back in Bermuda when I see their license plate numbers, and I can also make up words by adding the missing letter.

I agree its silly, but it keeps me sane.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Daddy, What can you See?

Get ready for this!

This is about road traffic jams.

We all have experienced them at one time or another. Some people have to go through it every day. How tiresome must that be? The equivalent scare word to Boo! to motorists must surely be “Road Works Ahead!” The problem is that as each country tries to work itself out of its economic problems there will be lots of make-work projects like roads to be built or repaired or hedges trimmed, and a lot of that work will be carried out by previously high priced executives.

The one thing that will be common is that we the motorists will pay dearly with our patience. Those people who have nowhere to go will stay at home rather than go through all that business of just sitting in your car while craning their necks trying to see what the problem is.

The types of problems that we consider legitimate that make us late for work are crashes. The bigger the crash the more we have to enlarge on when we finally get to work. Even events that take place on the opposite lane can have the effect of causing a tailback on our side. People tend to have to rubberneck to see what’s going on. The result often is accidents happen on our side as we drive into one another.

There was once a major fire along the highway most travelled by me. It was in a large warehouse with lots of attending firemen. Nothing to do with traffic but lines formed for miles as we all had to get a snapshot on our mobile phones.

I have learnt a lesson that I try to live by, but not everybody agrees that if I have an important appointment I should leave lots of time for getting there to try and take account of possible traffic jams. Once I am parked and outside my destination I can always go and get a coffee or read a newspaper.

My big question about traffic jams is that men, and only men seem to have to get out of the car to see what’s happening. Women don’t do this. It is only a man thing. In the history of driving no man has ever answered the question “What’s the problem, Daddy?” with anything other than “I don’t know!”

Funny, don’t you think?

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Driving Music

Is it just me, or are you too affected by your choice of music while driving?

The radio/cd player is an integral part of the safety features of your car. It is there not just to entertain you, but more importantly to avoid the driver falling asleep through boredom. It is as much a part of the safety features as a good set of tyres, and it should be used with common sense.

Especially when engaging on long drives it should be employed for its prime use. The problem arises in the choice of music to listen to, and this is where the human factor comes in, and is as variable as the weather. The objective is to stop yourself falling asleep, so your choice of artist is completely up to the individual.

My favourite group are The Toasters, a popular Ska Band of very long standing. Their music is so good and so pumped up that it is impossible to fall asleep. The problem is that they are such high energy that I find my foot pressing the accelerator too much. I actually drive faster than I would without their influence. The opposite occurs when listening to music with a calming effect. On a long journey that is actually dangerous.

The best choice for me is a disc with various artists presenting a wide variety of songs. If I start to get going too fast another selection with a more calming effect will bring me back to my senses. My Volvo sound system is very good, and some songs just beg to be blasted as they are so powerful. This is a mistake to do in a moving vehicle because with the windows rolled up you will not be able to hear any road sounds. Naturally, we need to hear sirens and other warning sounds.

This may be considered as a cautionary tale to be careful when mixing driving with music. The worst case would be to collide with another vehicle and your music just keeps on pumping.

Copyright (c) 2009 Eugene Carmichael

The Crisis Bites Hard

The economic crisis is hitting Spain very hard. Some say that the effect is being felt harder in this economic zone, especially if we look to the rising tide of unemployed. For a little background perspective we need look no further that the building industry.

When we arrived here ten years ago crime, especially against homes was flourishing. So many people were without work that if you had a home and others didn’t, you were considered fair game. Then came the change from pesetas to euros. That had the effect of forcing a mountain of money out into the open. It had been a form of national sport to cheat the taxman, so money that was held in cash behind all that ironwork covering doors and windows of people’s homes had to be converted into euros. Simply taking it to the bank was not an option as the game would have been exposed. Instead, people did a very strange thing with it: they bought property and built towers for business or for homes, and they also bought expensive cars and yachts, etc. In other words, secret money was turned into very obvious things.

However, the building boom didn’t stop once the changeover to the euro was complete. New developments continued at an alarming pace. The value of real estate rocketed and a lot of people got very rich in the process. Personally, I could not see what was driving the runaway development. It was all around us in our little town of L’Eliana. So much new building was taking place at the same time, the sky was dotted with building cranes, as though they were television antennas.

When I asked who would inhabit all the new buildings people would simply shrug their shoulders. It was hoped that people from Madrid would invest their money in second homes that gave them access to the beaches of Valencia, but other than that there was a definite shortage of warm bodies.

But now all of that has come to a grinding halt. Many building projects have simply been put on hold until circumstances allow for their completion, and new projects are simply not being started except in very few cases. Added to all of that misery is the huge inventory of unsold properties.


That has led to the loss of so many jobs that were held by workers directly involved in building, as well as those in support. This does not augur well for Spain. It suggests coming days of darkness in the near future. Many people who came to Spain in search of work from elsewhere in Europe have either returned home or gone to other countries. Needless to say crime is on the upsurge.

One sector that is being hit hard is that involving driving licenses. Driving schools are seeing their student enrolments falling off. To keep their customers the schools are having to allow credit terms. I have just read that proof of the situation can be seen clearly in the examination centre at El Saler in Valencia where crowds of people would be found all day to take their theory exams or their practicals. Apparently, now by noontime the place is deserted.

The irony is that Trafico has been making it ever more difficult for people to get a pass. Now it seems that circumstances external have taken over that limit the number of new drivers on the road. However, that only means that there will be fewer legal drivers, although to be caught driving without a permit and/or insurance means going straight to jail from the car.


Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

The Perfect Student Driver

To the Perfect Student Driver-Congratulations!

Our son, Nathaniel, came home today and declared that he had passed his practical driving test for a car license. I might have been terrified had he his eyes on my car, however I drive a Volvo so I don’t have to worry, but his mother drives a Seat Leon so I think she may be a little concerned. Maybe that’s why in a week’s time he will be off to Australia.

Most parents complain when they are caught up in the act of providing taxi services for their children, but they forget that there is something even worse that’s to come. That is when the kids get their own driving permits.

This is intended to be a homage to our son because he has a perfect record in the matter of gaining his permits to travel independent of us. First there was the case of getting a permit to ride a moped when he was fourteen. That really did not require much from him at all. But that’s the problem, very young children go out on the road on their slow moving mopeds, and far too many don’t get to grow up.

Next came his desire to move up to 125 cc motorbikes. To do that he was required to sit a theory examination that was in two parts. The first part was regarding the motorcycle aspect, and the second part was for motor-cars. I don’t know what the thinking is other than perhaps he will be circulating along motorways and should know the rules for that. Both examinations must be sat on the same day at different times. Most people fail them both, or pass one and fail the other. Nathaniel passed them both on the first try.

Then came the practical test for the bike that was difficult enough then, but has become even more difficult today. He passed that on the first try. So far, so good! He is showing off his Carmichael mettle.

That was almost two years ago. He has had to wait until attaining his eighteenth birthday before he could go anywhere trying his hand at driving a car. Having already passed the theory test he had only to successfully complete the car practical. He has worked hard, both with myself and with the driving instructor from the school. Here in Spain we are not allowed to enter the road system with a student driver, as is the case in Britain. Therefore, experience comes very expensively as every time out has to be paid for. There are so many little things that can go wrong to trip the student up.

The first one is nerves. Even I, a veteran driver of over 50 years felt a rush of nerves as I thought wouldn’t it be so embarrassing if I were to fail after having been a driver for so long. The fact is that most experienced people would fail had they to take a new test. We build up such a list of bad habits and they come into play when the driving gets tough. Those are the things the examiner looks for in such drivers.

I digress to tell the tale of the lady friend who had to be tested for a Spanish license and just couldn’t get a passing grade. So, on her fourth try she had a vodka and tonic before the test and sailed right through.

There were several things that conspired to foul me when I was being tested. Firstly the examiner had me turn left through a purpose built break in the median, something I would never do on my own, but I did it to his satisfaction. Then, while driving along the one-way street I came upon a truck parked partly on a pedestrian crossing. I couldn’t see whether anyone was using it so I stopped as though it was in use. Just as well as out stepped a lady while I was stationary. Then as I proceeded a small dog ran out between the cars, but my calm speed made sure I was not going to hit it. Then, I had to turn away from the lane that I had been instructed to drive as the police had cordoned it off, and that put me in a proper fix to get back on track. But, all was accomplished with aplomb as I had long stopped worrying about my passenger.

For our son to pass his practical on the first try gave him a perfect track record, which is something of a rarity, and for us we are so very proud of him. That augurs well for his chosen path in life. At the moment he is keen of working in medicine. It is clear to us that when he puts his mind to something he can get it right.

So I think that we can expect great things from our young man. Australia will help to shape him and the future for him looks rosy and bright. I think he can be whatever he decides he wants to be.

Good luck Nathaniel! We love you and you do us proud!


Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Another Cautionary Tale

Driving in Spain

A friend called me recently while somewhat distressed. A Guardia Civil officer was in the process of writing her a ticket because she was carrying something in her boot that was too large, and consequently she was travelling with the boot open. It was on this basis that she was fined. However, a re-reading of the Highway Code does not show this as an offence. Fundamentally, the law wants us to employ a van or truck when we have items of such volume that would make this necessary and common sense. We are allowed to carry certain goods on the top of our cars, even if they protrude to the front and extend to the back.

What then is so special about travelling only with the boot firmly closed? The answer could be that under such circumstances the car is pulling inside poisonous carbon monoxide. However, this can be offset somewhat by opening all the car windows so that it won’t likely kill those inside, but nonetheless an effect could be that of impairing the driver’s concentration.

We cannot see any other reason for the officer making out a ticket, so perhaps he was in reality making an effort to save the lives of people. I’m sure that the way things work in Spain not every officer would see this as an offence, but it is worth be aware that unlike England and America where no one thinks twice about driving with the boot open, but Spain is apparently different.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Yes! We Can!

Our pledge to make 2009 the year of the least number of collisions.

Yes! We Can!

The world seems to be falling apart before our very eyes. Everywhere we look, in the financial sector, the political sector, socially, in religion, and anywhere else, things that can be called traditional are breaking down. However, there is one area that each of us have the power within our grasp to affect. We can determine that we are not going to become a mere statistic this year, nor are we going to put others in that category. No one else can drive for us therefore it is up to us to do it right. Stay off the mobile phone while underway in your car. Mankind was not made to always be contactable. Turn the thing off and relax and concentrate on what you are doing behind the wheel.

Never allow yourself to become drowsy while driving. Stop and rest. Better still, get a good night’s rest beforehand and eat lightly while completing your voyage. Never drink alcohol or take drugs, legal or otherwise, that will impair your judgment. If you don’t want to do these things for yourself, do them for that one special person for whom the sun shines from your eyes.

Try not to overtake along two-way road systems just because you are impatient with the slow pace of the driver in front of you. Head-on collisions happen on such roads and can be avoided completely if you practise patience.

If you are a cyclist or a motorcyclist and you want to avoid being hit by a motorist who “just didn’t see you” wear a reflective jacket over your other gear. “Be Seen to be Safe.”

When you find yourself saying that it’s just too much trouble to do any of these things, repeat after me: “Yes! We Can! “Yes! I can!”

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

The Overtaken

Everbody overtakes me! Driving on Spanish roads it seems no matter how quickly or slow I’m driving, I get overtaken. I’m no slouch, but even at 120 there’s a constant parade of cars going past me as though I have my brakes on.

Well, I’m sorry, but I just won’t drive at a speed greater than 120 in a 120 zone. I just can’t get my head around why people seem to think that driving at 180 is just fine. I think it important to remember that practically every collision involves too much speed. That does not necessarily mean that it was a case of exceeding the posted speed limit. It just means that there was too much speed for the circumstances at the time.

Driving along country roads at night that are not lit by road lights should encourage the driver to reduce speed. But no, for many, it means light traffic indicates I can go as fast as I want.

Wet road conditions suggests to common sense to reduce speed. For many drivers it appears that they are desperately trying to make up the extra time spent in bed by pushing hard to get there on time. Many do not arrive at all. That wouldn’t be so bad by itself, but they too often take others with them. I hope people are allowed to fight in the after-life.

I have no intention of changing the way I drive. Fundamentally I try not to exceed the posted limit by more than ten kilometres because I get to pass in case of speed traps. But, it boggles my mind when I see drivers treating police officers in their official cars in the same way they treat me. It appears that they are simply not there, and to make matters worse I have never seen a patrol car go after one of these speed demons.

So maybe it’s just me after all. If you are one of those people to go flying past me, you might like to wish me to have a good day, preferably by not showing me the middle finger.

Happy Motoring!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Stupidity Once More

I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I thought that if stupidity could be eliminated from our roads so would what we call accidents. And then I witnessed an incident of stupidity so grave, so outrageous, that if I had the power I would have liked to have caught up with the cretin responsible, and at that point I would have pointed out to him that he had provided evidence that he was so stupid as to be a clear and present danger against all humankind. I then would have placed a bullet between his blank eyes.

The incident took place on a roundabout that is encountered when exiting a motorway. The roundabout is also used as part of the system to enter the motorway. There were four cars involved. I was car number one; the car ahead of me was car number two. We were both using the left hand lane of the two-lane roundabout. Car number three was an Audi that entered the roundabout in spite of the presence of the two of us. That was the first stupid thing to happen, although not particularly dangerous. Car number four, a red Volkswagon also decided to squeeze on to the roundabout. The Audi took the first exit and was gone. The red car increased its speed and inserted itself across the path of the car ahead of me, just as that driver was about to cross over to the right hand lane to leave the roundabout.

No collision occurred, but the margin between the two cars must have been so small I wouldn’t have tried to pass a slip of paper between them. The other driver didn’t even touch his brakes as it happened all so very fast, but I’m fairly certain there would have been a lot of cursing in that car.

The most awful part of this scene is that had a broadside collision occurred, when the police attended they would have applied the blame on the driver who was ahead of me, as the law states that no car may lawfully leave a roundabout at the expense of impeding the progress of the car in the right-hand lane. For red car driver to have deliberately inserted himself in that position takes the act of stupidity to a very high art.

That bothered me intensely, and every time after that when I came on to that roundabout I remembered the incident. About ten days later, while being on the roundabout in the left-hand lane, as I approached the point at which traffic from the motorway should have come to a halt, another dopey driver shot out alongside me and sped up to get ahead of me so that he could do the exact same thing as red car driver. That did enrage me, but it also taught me a lesson. In order to control such morons, and apparently there are more than one on our roads, I need to take charge of the right hand lane as soon as possible and to hold my ground.

As for yourself, you may wish to take this as a reasonable warning.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Parking in the Blue Zone

I suppose you could say that as part of my research I was issued a ticket for parking in a blue zone without paying the twenty cents for a half hour. But I was just running to the ATM at the bank. How long would that take? Long enough for the warden, who was evidently near enough to have watched my actions to write out a ticket for a 20 euro fine.

I was back in minutes, and there to greet me was my ticket. A kind stranger gave me this advice, and I’m sharing it with you, dear reader, as like most English residents of Valencia we don’t have a clue about these things.

There is s facility whereby if you come back to your car within one hour of the tickets having been written, you can “anul la denuncia” by paying 4:00 euros into the machine on the spot, instead of the 20 euros that it would otherwise cost. Following the instructions you will push the button on the top for tarifas and the screen will give you the option to cancel the ticket. Pay in the four euros, then push the button towards the bottom to receive your receipt.

At the end of the receipt there is a part that you are expected to clip off with scissors so that you can retain it for your records. (No problem this as we all walk about with a pair of scissors for just this purpose.)

Put the receipt with the parking ticket and place in the envelope supplied. Then, at the base of the machine there is a small box into which you can insert the envelope. And that should be the end of it.

However, my ticket was issued on a windy nasty night, I tried reading the instructions in the dark that were first in Valenciano; and the box is so well hidden that at night it is invisible. During the day it can be found.

I am usually so good about paying to park in these zones as they are usually the concession of a charity. On this occasion I neglected to do so and turned an expense of 20 cents into four euros. I hope I won’t be required to pay anything additional as I left the scene before depositing the envelope. I went back the next day and did that, so I might not be out of the woods yet.

A country that gives discounts on fines is a country that loves a bargain.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

What’s Normal?

On Wednesday, 26th November, 2008 a student driver went to the Realistic Driving school in Petrer, Alicante Province, Spain to have a driving lesson. He had already done the exercises whereby he had learnt the co-ordination things about clutch and brake and accelerator. Today was going to take things up a notch, for today he would go out on the road for the first time.

To say that our young eighteen-year old was excited was an understatement, but he was a fast learner and he took in the counsel of his instructor well. He had been told that there are only two types of actual accidents. They are (a) when a wild animal plunges into the path of an oncoming vehicle and they collide, that is deemed an accident because the animal cannot be blamed. The second type occurs when a driver is overcome by a major sneeze. We cannot sneeze with our eyes open, and a sneeze has a mind of its own. We don’t have to have an actual cold in order for this to happen, so very often these things come to us out of the blue.

Everything else has a fault attached to it. Someone did something that they ought not to have done, or they didn’t do as they were supposed to do. Possibly the collision occurred as a result of bad road engineering or faulty design of the vehicle itself. Examine the circumstances of collisions, large and small and you will be able to lay the blame on someone. In the United States that someone gets to be sued.

After preparing properly the instructor said something else that is very important: he said that in driving, if we can anticipate that something will, or could happen, when it does we can be ready for it to the best of our ability. This day would not tax our young student very much as they would only drive around the block so that he got a feel for being in a real life situation.

They left the driving school parking lot, turned right and proceeded to the traffic lights at the junction. When it was possible they turned right onto the main road and proceeded to pass Cam Bank. At the bank, a bit of excitement was taking place that our student driver was unaware of. Two would-be armed robbers were in the bank. Their names were Mr. Dumb, and his accomplice; Mr. Dumber. Mr. Dumb had been in the process of trying to get the manager to open up the safe, but in spite of taking a beating he refused to do so.

In the process the alarm was sent and the bank became surrounded by police. Mr. Dumb decided that things were not going at all as planned, and so he decided to make a run for it and he came out blazing, wounding four people. He ran into the street in front of the approaching student driver and he fell, promptly got up and pointed his pistol at the police who took him down in a hail of bullets that crossed just in front of the car’s windscreen. It would have been much simpler had he simply dropped his pistol and raised his hands.

The student driver slowed, then he remembered that he had an accelerator and pressed down hard. The car gave out a great cloud of smoke and leapt forward and he was gone. Reportedly he didn’t stop until the car ran out of fuel, somewhere near Madrid.

He apologised to the instructor for getting so rattled as he understood that he failed to anticipate that happening. He thought that for Realistic Driving to go to such lengths was incredibly good training, and that if he decided to continue to drive he would have to get tougher and more accepting of what was normal. Perhaps, he said, he might just leave the driving to his mother and father.

Meanwhile, back at the bank Dumber thought that he needed to be someplace else so in order to get out he would use the multitude of hostages under his command. “Now listen up, you lot. We’re all going to move to the door and you will surround me as we go outside.” Problem: the maximum number of people who could pass through the door at one time was two. He was pretty sure that if he allowed the hostages to go ahead of him they would bolt, so he would go first with a hostage and the others would follow.
As he passed through the door some smart ass locked it and everybody scattered.

“Mi carga en la leche!” he swore. “OK friend, it’s you and me.” But as they moved forward the hostage tripped him and fell to the ground leaving Dumber fully exposed. So, did he drop his pistol and reach for the sky? No, he did not. He thought of himself as Butch Cassiday and started shooting and that was met with a predictable response. He was not immediately killed, but instead he was taken off to hospital suffering from too much lead in his system.

Of course I have made up certain aspects of this story, however there was an actual daylight robbery attempt and the bandits were shot by the police in front of a passing driving school car.

I would just love to hear the driver’s actual impression.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

The Monster in the Mirror

“Images in mirror may be closer than they appear.”

This warning appears on most car mirrors, but was never more pertinent than on the car mirror that was being chased by a dinosaur in the film, Jurassic Park. However, I’m not talking about those types of monsters, simply other cars that share the road with us.

We’ve all had the experience of driving along in the far left lane when suddenly there appears in our mirror the image of a car coming up fast behind us. The driver clearly wants to get past and he’s (it’s usually a he) in a real hurry. Most people feel something of a start upon being in this position and panic. We pull over to the side as quickly as possible to let the speed freak get by.

Driving these days is a whole lot about being able to keep your nerve, and frankly being a bit bloody minded. When driving the motorway and occupying the extreme left hand lane we are only obliged to maintain a maximum speed of 120 km/h. We need only be in that lane when overtaking and when that manoeuvre is complete we need to return to the right hand lane promptly to comply with the rules of the road. However, the problem arises because the roads are occupied by a lot of fools who can only be pleased when the rest of us stay at home.

This is where the bloody-minded part comes in. We all pay for the privilege of using the roads, and the bit of space you are presently on is yours to occupy for the moment. It’s your little piece of real estate and it shouldn’t be given up easily.

I do admit however, that the sudden appearance in the mirror of something coming up from behind when I’m blocking its path and it wants to get by is reason for me to come back to reality from my daydreams of what I would do if I win the “El Gordo” lottery this year. That’s made even more threatening if he’s tailgating and flashing his lights. The problem also is the size of some of today’s cars.

Jeep has a very impressive front, as does the Volvo XC90, and the top of the line Chrysler saloon. The VW Taureg, Kia People Carriers, Land Rovers of any description, BMW X series, Mercedes, and so on. The biggest monster of all that you really don’t want to suddenly find hot on your heels is the giant Hummer from America. People who drive these things are boldly advertising to the world that “I am a person who definitely has far more money that sense.” I have seen them transporting the kids to school. Give me a break! Their petrol bill for just getting out of the driveway would put most of us in the poor house.

It’s quite something to be able to show off and laud it all over everybody else when you’re up high in one of those things, however, most of us are muttering to ourselves, “so, that’s what a drug dealer looks like!” What a Bummer to be in a Hummer!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Billboards

As though we are not busy enough trying to safely navigate our way through the heavy traffic loads, thousands of merchants place their messages, which they seem to think are s-o-o-o important, right where they will distract us the most. The roadsides are becoming so fully lined with these idiotic signs that if you did what they are suggesting and read each one, it would be like reading the newspaper while driving. How on earth are you supposed to drive with due care and caution if you are supposed to pay attention to these things?

Firstly, I have some news for the advertisers who pay good money to hire these board spaces: I have never been persuaded to buy one single solitary thing by a billboard message, and I feel so bloody minded about them that I never will.

For the purposes of this piece I stopped my car, got out to actually take note of what the advertisers want me to see. Well, just how important are these messages. Upon entering L’Eliana from the CV-35 we are confronted by nothing but boards. The fact that most of these boards are on the first major roundabout is not lost on drivers. We are wondering who on earth approved these things in the exact worst spot one can imagine.

There is one for Bingo Osito. Somewhere in the shopping centre at El Osito is a Bingo hall and they would like all of us to change direction and come play Bingo with them. I don’t think so! The people who are into that sort of thing know they are there.

Corporea Wellness Club would like to welcome us into their group. Well, good health is important, but if I’m trying to read their board and I run into the car in front of me, that will do nothing to promote my good health.

The Music Escuela, “Musicorum” really want us to come learn to play the guitar. Can’t that wait? Peralta Fabrica de Compras seem to be trying to sell us something. You won’t be able to figure out what while on the move. A lot of good that’s doing!

Decathalon have just opened a huge new shop on the opposite side of the road to the entrance to L’Eliana. The building is impossible not to see when entering and leaving L’Eliana. So, do they really need to place their message on billboards so close to their store? Also, Leroy Merlin operates a massive presence within El Osito, and very close to it there’s a billboard announcing I should come and shop with them. The billboard nearly obscures the store when you catch the angle just right.

I stood in front of a board advertising “Olvidate”, that’s “forget about it” when translated. A very good idea because I can’t figure out what this wants me to do other than forget it. Mark that one done.

There’s also one advertising J&B Scotch, which I do drink, and Rokelin, who offer the taste of something or other.

The one that tops them all is the sign for the Blue Sex Factory that suggests gifts for mujeres and couples. Nothing for guys? That’s one thing about the culture in Spain that I do appreciate, and that is the healthy attitude towards sex. Here they seem to feel everyone should do it until well satisfied.

Anyway, you get the idea. However, this gets me going so much probably because I come from an island where billboard advertising is simply not allowed. Neither are neon lit signs, and there are size restrictions on business names that are fixed to their buildings. I’m actually irritated by all this clutter, so much so that when I’m driving out of it and into the country where there is nothing of the sort I feel a big relief.

I do know about subliminal suggestions that give a person ideas that he is not aware he has taken on, but I can assure all of those responsible for the above mess, they have utterly failed to sell me anything. Where I have bought something that they sell it was because of entirely different reasons. I might even consider penalizing advertisers who spoil the environment by not supporting them.

So, to the Minister(s) responsible I say, clean up this act. No-one is going to go to sleep while driving because they don’t have anything to read.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Lewis "One Point" Hamilton

I’m convinced that this is a very extraordinary young man. In fact, he is not just an ordinary and average racing driver, I think he is the consummate entertainer. In his first year of racing this monster machine he lost the world championship by just one point.

At the start of this season he was unstoppable, taking one race after another. At one point we were all wondering whether this was Michael Schumacher over again, and fans began to give one giant yawn. But then, things started to go wrong for Lewis. He started to make mistakes. True, they were mistakes that everybody else make with routine monotony, but still it was Lewis himself who was making them. I thought he was bigger than that, but then I reminded myself that he was only human and as such he was subject to make mistakes.

Felipe Massa took advantage of every error on the part of Lewis to increase his total of points, and to cut the points gap between himself and Lewis. Then Lewis did something that I felt was along the same lines as Mike Tyson doing an ear bite: Lewis cut across a bend to get out in front of Felipe. I saw that as desperation, and the rules committee agreed. He did finish that race in first position but he was made subject to a time penalty and the first position went to Massa. Now, this was serious business, and I, along with everybody else sat upright and started to worry.

If Lewis was to have a real chance to win the championship he would have to pull up his socks and start to work his magic. But, not so fast, Fernando Alonso had something to say about that. He got his winning ways back and finished a couple of races in first position. Perhaps we were seeing in Lewis a young man who had peaked.

We saw something like that in Tiger Woods. That first year that he won the Masters Tournament in America was an amazing thing to watch. He was masterful and hypnotic. I had gone to a golf club on some other business. I walked into the lounge that was as quiet as an empty church, although every table was full. Someone made a telephone call to a golfing buddy who was out on the course, suggesting that he might like to abandon the round and get back to the clubhouse pronto. For a while Tiger continued his dominance, but then he started to lose some games. So it was with Lewis.

The thing that Hamilton, Woods, and President-elect Barack Obama all have in common is that when they come under pressure they maintain their calm. However, as fans of Lewis Hamilton we were biting our nails and sitting forward on our seats. The points spread continued to narrow, but Lewis said that he was comfortable with that. But then, came the moment of truth, the final race of the season in Brasil. He was neither ruled out or in as the eventual winner ahead of the race. He could only pull off a win if he finished no lower than fifth place. But he had to finish, and a fifth place would give him a one-point lead over Massa, who was up in the front pack.

People all over the world watched that race who had never watched a Formula One race before, just as the same thing happened in golf, and in America’s presidential race for president. The tension around the world was so palpable that it could truly have been sliced with a knife. Nowhere was that more so than in the U.K. This was a chance for a British title, and in the history of the race, it was also a chance for the title to be taken home by a young black man for the very first time. To say that a lot was riding on the outcome is a true understatement.

Around and around they went and Lewis was nowhere near to where he needed to be. In the closing rounds of the race he made up ground and with only two more corners to go he was in sixth place. Disappointed fans began to turn their backs on the screens as they could not bear to watch his loss. But suddenly, the most enormous roar went up around the world that surely could have been heard in outer space. On the second to last corner Lewis found his opening and went for it in flawless style and crossed the bar in fifth place, one point ahead of Massa to win with a total of accumulated points for the season of 98, compared with 97 for Massa.

Britain shook with the excitement of the win, and even Her Majesty watched as he brought home the title. This was drama at its finest. It was the best of all that had gone before, so much so that few of us can remember who actually finished first on that day.

Lewis Hamilton is a very nice guy. He honours his family, his country, and his team. He is handsome and well spoken and the right sort of role model for a lot of young people who are otherwise following paths to hell. They can see that should they wish to turn their lives around they too can make something substantial of themselves. If only they would believe that, “Yes, we can!”

Lewis Hamilton, Driver, World Champion Formula One and great humanitarian. But how great is he really? Stay tuned for the 2009 Formula One racing season. We’ll see!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

117,000

Between 117,000 and 130,000, that’s the number of paid admissions to the Moto GP at Valencia’s Ricardo Tormo Cheste stadium on Sunday, October 26th. That was a day of great thrills and spills for the spectators and racers, but even more so for the organisers.

The event is an annual one at this same time of the year, but this year presented some very special problems brought about by heavy rains that had persisted for more than two weeks. The country had been experiencing the Gota Fria with all the usual floods and destruction. As an organiser that must have brought on many sleepless nights as to cater for so many people for an event of this magnitude must surely have been the ultimate nightmare. Even if the weather was cooperating perfectly there are so very many things that can go wrong.

The town of Cheste is usually a very quiet place. People go about their business, that is primarily agriculture and generally keep themselves to their own. But once or twice a year the racetrack draws half the world and their cousins and the town becomes overrun with the enthusiasm of racing fever. For the Grand Moto GP this is even further exaggerated as young people on their magnificent bikes come rolling into town like the thunder of the gods seeking fun. It seems to be an accepted thing that somebody has to die during the period.

This year, on the first of three days of racing and celebration, two people lost their lives. I’m not speaking of official racers, but spectators in attendance. The temptation to attract attention to one’s self during this time is very strong, so there is no shortage of guys showing off their shiny pride and joy. Unfortunately, sometimes things get out of hand and go horribly wrong. It’s hard to imagine how parents feel when told that they have lost their son or daughter at a time when they were only seeking to have fun.

To make matters worse for the organisers, this year the approach to the circuit was in the midst of hard major works as the new high-speed train from Madrid is in the process of being developed. Consequently, with temporary access of a very confusing nature the ability to cater to so much traffic was daunting. But even this was further complicated by the fact that the non-paved parking lots around the circuit were under water, so parking could not be allowed anyway.

Someone came up with the brilliant idea of having motor homes and cars to park about 20 minutes away and the occupants shifted by bus. Even under the best of circumstances this would not have worked very well, but that was before they knew that so many people would eventually show up.

Saturday it was still raining and the forecast was for more rain on Sunday. A disaster!

Sunday dawned dry and bright and it quickly became apparent that the day was going to be absolutely fabulous. So people who otherwise thought they might not bother got up early and headed for Cheste. The organisers panicked, but in a good way. They wisely concluded that the area around the stadium had to be made park-able, and they only had about an hour to get it done. Yes, it was impossible, but made even more so by arguing about it.

The trucks rolled and the heavy machinery scooped and smoothed and in one hour it was done. A calamity of superior proportions was avoided, and the young people arrived in just about everything that moved. 117,000 of them paid admission to the circuit producing several million in income for the track. That was 5,000 more than paid to see Formula One on the streets of Valencia. To say that this was unexpected is a great understatement.

In spite of all the excitement and the unabated testosterone the crowd behaved itself and all went off without any major hitches. Certainly you needed patience because of so many people just to get anything at all. The trains and buses did a roaring trade as a great many people heeded advice to leave their vehicles in Valencia.

I did not attend the races myself as I have been nursing a healing foot, but mid-afternoon I made my way over to Cheste, which is the next town to mine, to see how things were progressing. I arrived just as the races had ended and all those people were leaving. Now try to imagine that you are the only person going the wrong way.

Cheste survived another invasion, everyone had a great time it seems, and the papers and tv reports were glowing in their praise for the event. Young people arrived and camped out in the weather and did their fun thing which reminds me that young people are pretty wonderful. Is youth wasted on the young as someone once said? I think not, but would I like to be young again? Sounds like a lot of hard work to me.

Copyright (c) 2008 Eugene Carmichael