W-T-F!!!

The white van approaches and can clearly see the child in the middle of the street


On Monday, October 17th, 2011, CNN introduced a video that was shot in China. The station were appalled by what had happened. Maybe you will be too:


A two-year old girl, a child, was walking in an alleyway on her own when a white van came along and knocked her down. She had wandered away from her parents who were both working. The driver was aware what had happened and stopped immediately. He apparently looked and saw that the girl was laying between his right front wheel and the back wheel on the ground. She was bleeding and in a lot of pain. He realised that he had run over her with the front wheel. Without doing anything else he promptly drove over her with the rear wheel and drove off.


What kind of callous bastard was this despicable person?


The story does not end there.


The child lay on the ground for ten minutes while EIGHTEEN people walked over her, around her, cycled past and not a soul did anything to help her. Another larger truck came along and drove over her leg, as though she was an animal that was road kill. Finally a middle aged person came along and organised help. (I saw the entire tape on Spanish TV.)


CNN could not understand the thinking of any of the people who passed this child by, so they interviewed a psycologist to try and understand what we had seen. He was worse than no help to us at all because, although he agreed that people did not respond as we would have expected them, he was quick to urge us not to be judgemental because "we could not know what was going through their minds at the time."


I don't have to know, although we can be certain it was not one humanity-like thought of kindness or responsibility toward their fellow humans. World-wide, throughout human society there is what is right, and what is wrong. In this case there were no gray areas. This was a child who was gravely hurt and for far too long, not one person stopped to assist.


Now, before we rush to a conclusion that indictes Chinese culture, and before we go on about how low in esteem little girls are there, let's take a moment to note that in London and in New York people have been robbed, knifed, shot, and they have lay on the sidewalk with people also stepping over them. In fact, so many people live on the sidewalk that it is such a common sight that they are seen and not seen.


Would I have responded as a proper human being had I been there, either as the driver or as a person on the street? I can't see any other answer than that of course I would have acted to get the child to hospital as quickly as possible, together with her parents.


To do nothing, especially as we are talking about a child in distress, is so out of the question for me that I can't even begin to understand how another person could be so stone cold.



Later in the week the child succumbed to her overwhelming injuries and died.


I have a wish for each and every one of the eighteen persons who passed her by without helping: May your turn come soon to feel what the little girl felt. And may you die a thousand deaths before the world is finally rid of you!


Bastards!

Copyright (c) 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Some thoughts on Travelling

Laughter. Better than medicine

I was reading some Quotes by people on travelling that you may find amusing:

Phyllis Diller, Comedian, said that she can't imagine why anyone would give her a driving licence. She got two tickets for offences on her written test.

A man walks into a bar in Ireland and asks the barman what's the quickest way to get to Dublin.

The barman says, "Are you walking or driving?" I´m driving, says the man. Well, replied the barman, that's the quickest way.

Bumper sticker seen on a car: "Mother-in-Law in boot."

Rodney Dangerfield said that his wife had her driving test recently. She got 8 out of ten. The other two guys jumped clear.

Henny Youngman said that his wife called to say the car wouldn't start because it had water in the carburettor. How do you know that?

She said, "The car's in the lake."

Denis Norden was given a parking ticket. He asked the policeman what do I do with this? The policeman said, "Keep it. If you manage to collect three of them you get a bicycle."

Mark Twain said that you should get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you survive.

I was asked if I wanted to be upgraded to Business Class on the airplane. I asked, "Will I have to play golf?"

Talk about bad luck. Roger Miller had an uncle who was afraid to fly, so he took the train. A plane fell on it.

Life's funny. Don't forget to notice and laugh.

Copyright (c) 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Drunk, or on Drugs, or Stupid

Drunk, or on Drugs, or Plain stupid, but probably all of the above.

While driving along a two-lane country road, a grey Opal, number 4585 plus three letters came up behind me as we were travelling through a slow zone. but the minute the driver could do so he overtook me, tooting his horn in a manner that seemed to me that he was berating me.

I then noticed that he was driving in an erratic manner while doing about 80 kph. Next he caught up with a cyclist in a no-overtaking zone. He slowed right down behind the cyclist and engaged his hazard lights, and generally acted like a responsible driver. By this time I had caught up with him, and as soon as it was safe to overtake he did so, and I followed suit.

We were again doing 80 kph when I noticed he started to do very strange things behind the wheel. He was flailing his arms about, causing the car to swerve back and forwards across the road because he was not controlling the steering wheel. He was alone in the car, but I don't know if he was talking on a hands-free telephone. I decided to drop well back as not to be too close in the event he was about to crash.

He then seemed to notice that I had dropped back, at which time he applied his hazard lights again and slowed down to walking speed. As I came closer he sped up then dropped his speed, and I took those actions to be a provocation to me. I'm sure had I tried to overtake him he would have made that impossible.

I therefore pulled off the road and watched him go ahead at a snail's pace. I waited until other traffic came along. Fortunately it was a long line of cars and they started honking their horns which resulted in him speeding up and then he was gone.

This was at noonday, so what could have been his excuse for being on the road at that time in a condition that was inappropriate, other than he was drunk, on drugs or stupid? In my opinion he most likely was all three of those things combined.

One of the reasons for such an unacceptable high death rate on Spanish roads are drivers just like the one highlighted here.

Copyright (c) 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Summer's Over 2011

Summer Driving

We have had a lovely Summer this year, here in Spain, in so far as the weather is concerned, but as we come to the end of the period we are left asking how did we do on the road?

The short answer is that we did better than last year. Road traffic deaths in Spain have declined from a high of about 7,500 many years ago, to the present annual level that we can only hope will be well under 2000 by the end of this year.

A person could be excused for thinking that we are talking about a war report. we are only talking about what happened when people went to the supermarket or on holiday. Spain is a far cry from Afganistan or Iraq. When we apply for our driving licenses we are not entering into a contract to commit suicide, but that is what happens so often. Granted that the mix of testosterone and gasoline is volatile, but add a pinch of common sense and it can be controlled.

It has been reported that 321 fewer people lost their lives overall on the roads during Summer driving, and that is very welcome news. Why people choose to kill themselves and others during holiday times is quite beyond me. It doesn't have to be that way. However, as a group drivers on Spanish roads are becoming more responsible because as the death toll shrinks the number of drivers has massively increased from about 1.5 million to the present 30 million.

We have become a lot more responsible, particularly in the area of not driving when intoxicated and this is being reflected in decreases year after year. Simple things like an agreement between my wife and myself before attending a party as to who will drive home make all the difference. That person is the designated driver, and the other is the designated drinker.

We will live to enjoy another day, so that seems very fair to me.

Copyright (c) 2011 Eugene Carmichael,

The Tragedy of Tragedies

The Tragedy of Tragedies-Too sad for words.

Recently a car left the road at very high speed and rolled several times and plunged down an embankment, killing two occupants, and injuring for life the third. Those people were on their way home having spent the night at a bar. It is probably fair to assume that alcohol played a major role in the loss of control, added to perhaps sleepiness as well.

I want to be sensitive in what I am going to say about this crash, because the driver of the car and one of the female passengers were brother and sister. They were killed.

The only good thing that can be said is that no other member of the public was injured or killed outside of those in the car.

Not one parent needs prompting to think about what it must be like to be the parents of those two lost souls. Your children go out for the evening together for a night of entertainment, and later the police, come knocking at your door to tell you that both of them are dead awakens you. That they died under circumstances that were entirely avoidable only makes it worse.

I am angry as hell that the driver of that car caused such a result, and I am angry that he placed other members of the public in danger owing to his irresponsibility. They have personally paid the ultimate price, and I know that they are not the only people to have behaved in such a manner, but that is precisely the point of this essay. I appeal to other drivers to take note.

If you drink alcohol or take drugs and drive, especially while you are sleepy you cannot later claim that the results of your actions are unintended consequences. It will not be enough to stand with a long face and say that you are sorry, because it is a fact that you are both a very sorry and pathetic cretin. I was young once, and with the Grace of God I never harmed anyone through acting so foolishly, but I have to take a strong stand to point out that each of us are responsible for our own actions. No-one else can take the blame.

So, once again, when you go out for the evening and there is a car involved, someone has to be the designated driver. That person abstains absolutely from drinking or taking anything that will impair his judgement.

Period !!!!!!!!


Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Dumb and his Sister Dumber

Dumb and his Sister Dumber -Too much of the Wacky Weed!

You just can’t make up a story like this. It has to be true.

The local Spanish newspaper, Levante, reported the following:

A local policeman on patrol on his motorcycle, noticed a fairly large van parked in a place in the city centre that was clearly marked “No Parking.” Because the vehicle was so large it was causing difficulties for passing traffic. The patrolman stopped to see whose van it was, and he took a look in the back window panel, and practically had a heart attack. The van was completely full of marijuana plants. He called for backup!

While several policemen milled around the van, a man and a woman came walking out of a bar where they had stopped to have a coffee. “Hey, fellas, what’s all the fuss?”

“You have parked your van in a no-parking zone and it is causing great difficulties.”

“Oh! Sorry about that!” said Dumb.

“But your van is completely full of marijuana plants, from what we can see,” said the officer.

Dumber piped up: “Oh, those are for our own use.”

“A whole freaking van full!!!!!! Madre Mia!

The police have confiscated the van and the Mary Jane, and they are thinking about it. Dumb and Dumber may actually get their drugs and van back. They will have to pay a fine for illegal parking.

Only in España!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Tomatina 2011

Tomatina Ketchup 2011

The Spanish town of Buñol has successfully held another of its crazy events that fascinates people from around the world. The most amazing thing about this is that to the best of my knowledge there has never been a death arising from the madness.

I am writing this as a motoring topic because it takes place in one street that is only about four short blocks long, and it is a single one way lane that is barely wide enough for a large truck to pass through.

Add to that, about forty thousand people crowd into the street and get totally out of their minds, but not necessarily on alcohol. The reason we say that there are about forty thousand people is because this is the maximum number of people that can squeeze into the area.

As a lead-in to the arrival of the tomatoes the crowd gets hosed down with water to avoid heat stroke. Then the most dangerous thing takes place as the most massive trucks arrive filled to the top with tomatoes. This year has been a very good year for the tomato crops, being very large and sweet and juicy, that you might mistake them for fruit.

The truck enters the street at the far end, led by guides on foot, and it has to make its way down the entire length of the road that is so full of people that for individuals to move out of the way is very difficult as there is no place to go. The lower sides of the trucks are boarded up so as to make it difficult for people to fall under the wheels. However, when the tomatoes start flying the street becomes a slush of ketchup that make it almost impossible to stand up.

To make matters worse the truck will tip out the last half of its contents, people and all, and while this is all done in slow motion the danger level in the minds of health and safety people is off the scale. This routine is repeated five times.

It is a modern miracle that no one has been hurt or killed in the Tomatina, but when it comes to Spanish festivals, it they aren’t late at night, or incredibly loud, or totally good naturedly violent or deadly dangerous, what would be the point?

Who paid for the 120,000 kilograms of tomatoes?

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Running out of Petrol

Running out of Petrol

Over 15,000 people in the U.K. ran out of fuel on the motorway during a one year period. It turns out that as part of these hard economic times people find themselves strapped for cash and consequently instead of asking to be filled up they ask for five or ten pounds.

Running out of fuel is not considered a legitimate breakdown reason. If you call one of the services to bring you fuel they will apply a premium charge, and should the police stop to determine what the problem is they will charge you with having committed an offence. The simple fact is that breaking down on the highway is a dangerous matter , and as drivers we have no excuse should we allow that to happen to us because of a lack of fuel.

So, what is it with women drivers who are most likely to run out of petrol? Lately I have seen two women filling their stationary cars with fuel from Jerry cans. My wife has encouraged me to drive our car with a fuel level that was very close to empty. To her credit one of those times was when we were taking back our hire car. They say we should bring the car back empty because any fuel that is left is our gift to them.

The culprit here is the car hire company and the governing authority for allowing them to press customers into driving on as little fuel as possible. There was a time when they required that you bring the car back with a full tank. That made much more sense. That way, they gave it to you in a full condition and you brought it back the same way.

The second time my wife had let her fuel run right down and we were driving late at night when most, if not all filling stations were closed. We were going from one station to the next and finding that none were open, and all the while using precious fuel. Finally we came to a self-serve station that is open 24 hours a day. As we were driving along a flat surface the car starting making noises as though it was starved for fuel. Fortunately, I was able to glide up to the pump. More fortunate still, it was in working order.

Women seem to have “a thing” about the gas gauge and the weight machine. They have a difficult time believing either of them. Men, under normal circumstances start to panic when the gauge gets to the half way mark. I only feel comfortable when my gauge is showing full. That seems to be a man thing.

So, apart from men and women things, remember that allowing your vehicle to simply run out of petrol is not only the cause for great inconvenience, it is also a dangerous thing to have happen because while you are unable to drive your car you may be involved in an accident, or someone may stop and take advantage of you. The best case scenario might be that you get a ticket from the police.


Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

August in the City

August in the City - Space and tranquility

I have come to the conclusion that August in Valencia City is wonderful. So many residents leave town to spend the month in their “country” homes, that are in reality located just fifteen minutes from the city centre, but at one time these were in the country, and they have swimming pools and bbq’s, that the change must be fabulous for them.

Meanwhile, the city is left near empty with room to move around and do things without the need to compete with so many thousands of people that is the norm. For ten months of the year I leave my car on the outskirts and take the metro into downtown, but in July and August I can actually drive into the city and find a place to park on the street.

The custom of shutting up business during August is still carried out by some people but more and more business owners are realising that this is a thing of the past. They must maintain open doors, so some staff take their holidays in July and the rest in August. What a great breakthrough in understanding.

Driving downtown with the sensation of country driving is wonderful. Once in a while I have found myself to be the only person on an avenue. It only lasts for a second, but outside holiday times it never happens.

The sounds are different as well. In normal times there is the constant wail of ambulances. Interestingly, that sound is almost absent in July and August. The attitude of everyone is also different in that we have the time to be human.

So, Long live August in the City. For a brief moment in the great passing parade there is time to smell the roses and to be civil.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Keep your distance

Maintain a safe distance between you and the vehicle ahead of you.

Praise be to Trafico for doing something that is really useful. They have embarked on putting down road markings that should be very helpful in keeping vehicles from running into one another, simply by keeping our distance.

The way I do this is by choosing a point at which the car in front of me is passing, and then I count off “one, one thousand, two, one thousand.” I should have finished by the time I pass that same point. That will tell me that I have sufficient distance for the speed that I am travelling to be able to stop in time if the driver in front suddenly applies brakes. Of course, I have to be paying attention.

What trafico is now doing is reminding me to do that check as sometimes I forget to do it, and I find I am travelling a little too close. Of course, there are the usual group of people who have shit for brains who deliberately sit right on my rear bumper. I think the idea is to push me along at ever increasing speeds, but I get rid of these pests by slowing down. For my trouble I get flashing lights, beeping of the horn and the single finger salute, all of which I blunt by taking no notice or offence. I simply consider the source.

Trafico’s efforts to keep us safe in this regard is a very good idea and is to be applauded. They could also borrow an idea that I came across in Scotland and that is to use a system of gradual deceleration, using the three-step approach that is now used to denote that an exit is ahead. The required lower speed would apply at the final sign, not at the first sign.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

The Annual Madness

The Annual Madness

July and August are the two big months for motoring madness in Spain. Families pile into the car and off they go, some straight to their deaths. It does not have to be that way! Alcohol, speed, carelessness, these are the three factors, either only one, or all three.

The question that burns in my mind is why do people drive like this? However, it is a futile question as there is no logic. People get in their cars and put their feet way down on the accelerator for no reason. They drink alcohol without giving it a thought, and they are careless because they must think they are in their living rooms.

For those people who kill themselves by doing stupid things, good riddance. I can’t be bothered to feel sorry or dredge up sympathy for them. Their going is not a total loss. Others will move into their jobs and apartments and take over their savings. However, the bastards always have to take the innocent with them. A head-on crash with other vehicles travelling at the speed limit in their own lanes is the most common cause of that.

I hope that on the other side there is some opportunity to redress such wrongs. It would be good to know that the aggrieved can kick the shit out of the other guy for all eternity. Now that is to die for!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Super, Civil Scotland!

Super, Civil Scotland!

The World's best kept Secret

My wife and I have just done something that on the face of things was not very rational: we left the warmth of Spain to travel to the very last point of the Scottish mainland, John O’Groats, which was very chilly, wet and miserable. There was a method to our madness, and the plane going over was carrying Scots returning from Benidorm, and the
plane that brought us back to Spain was filled with more Scots going to Benidorm.

We travelled to the town of Helmsdale on the East coast of Scotland to visit our son who works there at a hotel. Without that motivation we would not have ever found ourselves at the end of the mainland and we might never have had such a wonderful adventure. Scotland is a very special treat on the eyes, and as proof of that is the sheer number of native Scots people who tour around the Highlands in their motor homes.

Our journey took us from Edinburgh to Tomintoul, that is in the heart of the Cairngorms in the vicinity of Inverness; then on to that town itself. A trip to Loch Ness was in order, although I’m not sure why. There is no Loch Ness monster, and there never has been, although by now they could have built one to make scheduled appearances. Then on to spend the night in a town called Beauly that reminds me of certain Southern towns in America that are home to citizens of a Red Neck persuasion. The landlord of the Bed and Breakfast could not have been more pleasant and hospitable.

The next day we arrived at our destination, The Bridge Hotel in Helmsdale. Our son had only commenced his employment there the week before we arrived. The town is a very small fishing village, and the pace of life is slow. Our son will have to be creative in filling his spare time, but the people with whom he is working are a good group, and the hotel is wonderful.

Although it was getting towards the end of the day we all drove up to John O’ Groats, called the most Northerly point of the mainland. As mentioned it presented unpleasant weather conditions, and I could only wonder at what life must be like for the residents of the Shetland and Orkney islands in the cold North Sea.

Our trip back down to Edinburgh was via the West Coast. In my opinion this is the best face of Scotland, presenting scenes of such incredible beauty that the mind needs time to fully take it all in. We needed to have stopped and had a picnic while saturating our senses. Even seen from a picture would not be sufficient to adequately tell the tale. There are unlimited lakes and rivers and mountains and valleys and forests and picture-postcard harbours and castles that you might get the impression that this is a grand park created for the tourists by the Scottish tourist Board.

The principal reason why the beauty of it all is so significant is that it is just how Mother Nature made it. If you turn your head away from the road that you are on you will see a kaleidoscope of terrain never ever touched by man. That is pretty special!

Driving in the Highlands of Scotland (the North) presents a challenge in staying absolutely focused on what you are doing. For the driver, this is very difficult to do because the scenery is so compelling. In the Lowlands (the South) some roads are major highway standards, such as the M9, however, as we progress farther North we get to drive on Class A roads, which are one lane in either direction. However, for those roads that course through the really scenic parts we are presented with Class B, or even Class C roads. These are one lane with passing places. They are very dangerous and allow no opportunity to glance around and take in the sights. To do that you will have to stop at designated parking places that are usually situated in recommended photo-op places.

Two points worth making are there are many blind hilltops when you drive up a steep slope, and you cannot see if anything is coming up the other side. Usually there is a little space for one of the vehicles to pull off to the side at the top, but these situations must be approached with great caution.

Secondly, the remote villages have snow gates at both ends of the road. There will be times during the Winter when the gates are closed, thereby sealing the residents in the village as the snow will be impassable. Pity the poor bugger who is caught out in the lonely outback when the blizzard starts. There is no shelter except possibly the odd Bed and breakfast inn, if you are very lucky.

As unsatisfactory as the “B” and “C” roads are, it would still be a grave mistake for the Scottish government to push through highways in these places as the main attraction is how little mankind has encroached on the natural beauty.

This was one of the things on my “Bucket” list that I am now able to cross off, and I am very glad that we had such a sensational experience. I would definitely pay a return visit to Bonny, Warm Scotland.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Go Full, Return Empty

Go Full, Return Empty-This is not actually possible unless you push it.

This isn’t even possible, but in the world of hire cars this is one of the very common terms that you are expected to adhere to. Basically, if you don’t have to hire a car then you would be well advised not to do so. One thing is clear, whatever you think you will pay you will eventually end up paying more….much more.

We have just completed an around another driving tour, and the truth is that we thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but the hire companies do get you. We responded to a come on from one company that promised a car for six days at a cost of 60 euros. The actual cost to us before we even turned the key was 127 euros. The terrible thing was that the company that we chose was one of the better ones.

The basic rental was as advertised, however, added to that was the cost of the full tank of petrol at 48 euros. This was a Kia Picanto, bright yellow, that reminded me of driving around in a canary, with a very small tank that holds 35 litres. The cost to fill up is about 30 euros.

Then, they charge 2 euros a day for the second driver. What’s this for? Probably nothing, but they can charge it, so they do

You are advised to take out comprehensive insurance cover that pays from the first euro. No excess charge fee for the insured driver is a very good thing, because if there is an excess charge you’ll probably get stuck with it, even for minor scratches that were already there but not noticed by you when you picked up the car. (At least that has been my experience.)

Then there is the little matter of the cost of the insurance. Comprehensive cover for my car in my name would cost about 750 euros annually. That’s about 2 euros a day. However, some hire companies charge a per day fee of a specific amount for this cover that is over and above the basic rental. I have paid around 10.00 euros a day. We can quickly see the profit involved there.

Car hire is like travelling by plane. You know it’s going to be painful, but it’s just one of those irritants that we learn to live with. To bring the car back practically empty of fuel is an exercise in nerves. As you draw near to the depot the needle goes into the red and a message keeps flashing that tells you how many more kilometres you can go before you have to add a top up to the tank. My last car hire I pulled into the depot with a mere five miles to go before the car would have simply stopped,

Talk about stress!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Feria del Automóvil de Valencia

What Beauties!

This is an annual event that takes place at the enormous Feria Valencia complex in Paterna. It is simply a stupefying display of every type of car, and motorbike that one could hope to see. Car dealers offer event discounts on new cars and a large selection of secondhand cars as well.

If you have never visited this show centre you cannot appreciate how large it is from my description. I simply am unable to imagine what kind of show it would have to be to use all the space. I was not in the market to purchase a car, owning to the fact that I already own two. I went to see the custom cars and the classic vehicles. I was not disappointed!

The presentation began with the vehicles parked out in front. A powder blue Cadillac people carrier, that was an early model that I had never seen before. It had lots of glass as if it was used to carry celebrities. Parked next to that was a classic old-style Jeep that was in showroom condition. It was mounted by several extra lights that makes it standout as being extra masculine. A Ford Capri from many years ago in bright red stood regal and in perfect condition. That owner was obviously very proud of his treasure. I owned a Capri at one time and was in love with that car.

There were many other fabulous cars on show in the sunshine, but I needed to get inside. The entrance fee was only 3 euros so upon payment of that I was in. Immediately, we were met with a display of motorcycles, including a BMW motorcycle with sidecar, and a mount for a machine gun that would have served during the war, on the nazi side. I would like it in its complete form so that I could move the traffic.

The Seat 600 club had their fleet on display. It’s amazing to remember that this car served as the family car and it moved Big Mama and grandparents as well. So many eclectic cars brought back to their finest condition that my memory was overwhelmed.

My second favourite display was the Jaguars section displaying models down through the ages. Many of the big cats were there. There was one of the XK120 models, but not the exact model that I owned when I was in London. The model I owned is shown at the top of this column and was British Racing Green. When I was seen in it I was assumed to be a show biz celebrity. The new Jaguars are, I’m sure, really grand cars, but I don’t like them. I am a classic model fan, specifically in that I love my Jag Sovereign.

There were some Rolls Royce cars on display that were interesting, but the RR has never intrigued me. It has always been a car that needs to be driven by a chauffer, and is more like an elegant bus. It has never even drawn my attention, until I came across a dark blue Silver Spirit, 1986. That’s a 25 year-old car that appeared in better condition than many of the second hand semi-new cars on sale. The owner was asking 11,950 euros, but the car was on British plates so has to be imported. It has passed Spanish ITV but at that price it would likely cost another 10,000 euros by the time it has been imported.

The Rolls Royce is one of those vehicles that will run forever, and I yearned so much for this car that I could have driven home in it. This model has the aura of a Rolls that can and should be driven by the owner. I can just see myself driving along in this car. When I drive my Jag people fall over in surprise. Just for the hell of it I would like to get the reaction of people on the street of me in a Rolls. However, I would not like to get the reaction of the tax man.

All things considered I really enjoyed the Feria. There were a lot of stalls selling parts and clothing, and it seemed that some dealers must have brought their entire inventory. The only thing that was missing was the thousands and thousands of people who were expected. There were very few people, and you could see the disappointed looks on the face of the stallholders. I felt so bad for those people. I don’t know what went wrong because this is an annual event at the feria, so the organisers have a wealth of experience to call on to promote the event.

Maybe this is further evidence of the economic crisis at work.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

The Ultimate Road Test

The Ultimate Road Test

Smoky is behind You!

Has this ever happened to you? You leave home in the car and no sooner have you got on to the main road a police car comes up behind you, and he stays there, never passing you, and seemingly going wherever it is you are going.

That’s when everything you ever learned in driving school comes back into your mind in sharp fashion. You observe every rule to the letter, and you feel hypocritical doing so, but you know you are being graded, especially during these days when the police get a bonus for bringing in traffic fines.

So, the first thing you remember to do is place both hands on the wheel. When passing through towns you are super alert to pedestrians who might cross on the crosswalks. You see every speed indication sign, and you make certain that you are moving at the correct minimum speed before you reach the sign.

The worst thing is when you come up behind a tractor travelling at 40 kph. You have to wait until the road indicates that you may overtake, and for that to happen you may have to move at 40 for quite some time. Without the police on your tail you would have swung out and around the tractor a long time ago, even if it was a little risky. Where are you finding such patience?

When you come to a stop sign you actually stop. Some people think that if you are moving at about 20 kph you are virtually stopped. No! Stop means no wheels moving for at least a count of three. Jesus! Being a law-abiding citizen is a real pain in the ass.

One of the most difficult parts of the test comes when you enter a slower speed zone. Most slow-down zones are due to the presence of danger, and ideally there should be signs to allow resumption to the normal speed. However, very often such signs are missing leaving the driver to assume when he can return to the higher speed level. That may be fine when you do not have the police behind you..

The number of times you think of stopping at a place that is not your destination just to shake those bastards off your tail is becoming boring, but you keep going until you really reach your destination. The police continue on their way, having noted how careful you are as a driver. Perhaps they will send you some kind of commendation so that you will feel a little better about having been put through such hell.


Curiously, when the same police car comes up behind you at night you carry on driving as usual, paying no attention whatsoever as to who is driving. You may even get into a race with him if he teases you just right.

As much as such an experience is to be avoided at all costs, there is an experience that is even more objectionable: that is being followed by a funeral hearse. They seem to be saying: “ready when you are.”

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

120 kph Again!

WHATEVER!

As from July 1, 2011, the maximum speed limit throughout Spain will once again become 120 kph. This seems to me to be a case of all things changing to remain the same.

One newspaper headlined about the lower limit: “More people die on the roads, and no saving in fuel.” Another newspaper agreed that deaths on the road were up over the same period last year, but that drivers had saved 28 million euros in fuel expense.

When the government announced that they were lowering the limit to save fuel, suspicion centred around their true objective. Approximately half the cost of a litre of fuel is government tax, so the question was: are they serious? Clearly if I am buying less fuel they are earning less revenue at a time when they are desperate for funds.

Our thinking was that they wanted to be seen as being politically correct, while at the same time they expected to make up the difference in lost revenue through increased traffic fines, but drivers refused to cooperate. We drove slower and paid less in fines, and contrary to what one newspaper says, we must surely have used less fuel.

This situation could not be allowed to stand. It would be only a matter of time before the government gave in and changed their mind because they were losing much needed revenue in taxes and fines, which is, after all, another form of tax. At the time the limit was lowered in Spain it was increased in certain other countries, thus proving that nobody quite knows what the hell is going on.

On Thursday, June 30th, the process began to switch the signs to 120 kph. First the direction leaving the city was done, so that made driving out of town 120 kph, and driving into the city 110 kph. Admittedly, they did place paper to cover the 120 sign, but drivers knew what it said and acted accordingly.

Considering that it cost somewhere between 250,000 to 600,000 euros to make the first change, and now, after such a short time we are going back to the way we were, it just proves that no-one makes mistakes quite the way that government does.

I decided that I would simply ignore all of such nonsense and simply stick to my custom by driving at a maximum of 100 kph. I know I’m saving on fuel costs.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Formula One in Valencia

Formula One in Valencia

Once more into the Breech

As I begin writing this it is June 23rd, 2011. Certain streets in Valencia City are cordoned off, all the seats are in place, all the equipment has been set up, and most important of all, the cars are here and can be heard roaring like lions in a cage.

Excitement is rising, and from tomorrow there is not one single hotel room anywhere in the immediate area of Valencia City that has not been sold. At one city hotel tonight’s rate for the room is 125 euros. For Friday and Saturday nights that rises to 750 euros. Valencia loves Formula One.

The amusing thing is that when Formula One was first mooted as using Valencia as a circuit there was much resistance from people who live in the city. Then, reportedly City Hall suggested that it could take place in August. Oh well, August, no problem, the city becomes like a ghost town. Everybody leaves town so you can make as much noise as you like, we residents won’t be here. In fact, some of us can rent out our apartments, especially those that overlook the circuit for exorbitant sums of money, and everybody is a winner.

This year, the race takes place in June. Coincidence? You be the judge.

Anyway, Lewis Hamilton is determined to be the winner of this race, but those of us who love Spain would just be delighted if Fernando Alonso could win on home territory. We need something to celebrate to raise our spirits. and to take our minds off the awful financial consequences of so many people who are out of work. It is simply amazing that so many people are still in a position to be able to afford the outlay for tickets. I’m very happy for those people, but it does seem like something of an anomaly.

Some group had been spreading a rumour that all three days had been sold out and that there were absolutely no tickets available, so there was no point in trying to obtain entrance. The truth is that there were plenty of last-minute tickets available, so this could only have been a sabotage attempt.

It is amazing to what extents people will go to attend Formula One in person. They fly in by the planeload, and they drive in from extraordinarily long distances. I met a couple that drove up from Marbella that took them ten non-stop hours. They were late for the qualifying round. However, people came from Madrid by the AVE bullet train at 300 kph to see cars being driven at 300 kph. Interesting!

At this stage it is possible to make predictions on how the race will turn out. My expectation is that Alonso will break down or otherwise drop out of the running; Hamilton will come in second, and the race will probably be won by Vettel whose year this seems to be.

Well the race is over and here is how things turned out: the day could not have been better from the weather standpoint. There was not a cloud in the sky. All the big yachts were in their place and all tickets were sold out.

As I predicted, Vettel was first across the line. This is definitely shaping up to be his year. Alonso, far from suffering from bad luck, very nearly won this one, by coming in a respectable second. The home crowd were delighted, almost to the point of a first prize result. Lewis, who was feeling so confident before the race tried valiantly to make his expectation a reality, but the best he could produce on the day was a fourth behind Mark Webber.

This year, Vettel is the Speed Demon, and once he is placed on Pole position he doesn’t easily give that up. Formula One Racing is a whole lot more interesting when the outcome is unpredictable; unlike those years that Michael Schumacher won every race and every season.

This time around, Michael came in seventeenth. I know he is driving for Mercedes, but what is under the hood?

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Learning Lessons ........Again!

Learning Lessons ........Again!

Without Pain

It happened to me again this past week. The police were conducting a blitz on foreigner’s documentation through stopping foreigner’s vehicles. As I drove along there was a car ahead of me that was driven by a mature Spaniard. He passed three policemen who got him to slow down, then waved him on without stopping. Then I came into the zone and immediately the policemen became animated.

They indicated that I was to pull over. Here I was, a black man actually driving a car. By the way they came alive they were not expecting this development at all. Now, I have to tell you that on every occasion I have had to deal with the police they have been models of professionalism. I have nothing but praise for what I describe as a good bunch of professionals.

These guys evidently expected they had netted the jackpot. They seemed uncertain what question to ask me first because in their minds, the last time they thought they saw me was coming ashore as an illegal alien. Call the tow truck, call the paddy wagon, this one’s going straight to jail.

Did I have a passport? Yes. O.K. Let’s check that. Checked and found to be in order.

Do you actually have a driver’s license? Yes. A Spanish permiso! Must be a forgery. Oh Damn! That checks out as being legitimate. Damn! Damn! Damn!

Patience Miguel! Patience my ass! I want to arrest this fella for something.

Are you registered on the Central registry of Foreigners in Spain? Yes. Here is the Certificate.

Is this your car? Yes. These are the documents that show that it has had its latest ITV; these are the insurance certificates and the Permission to Circulate.

What is your job? I don’t work. I’m retired.

Me carga en la leche! This cannot be! There are Spaniards driving around lacking in this or that piece of document, and here’s this fella who is completely covered and legitimate.

Throughout all of this I was calm and conversational, and from my standpoint I was not bothered in the least. The facts are that there are a great number of people here in Spain who aren’t properly documented. They drive cars without insurance, and without having been properly imported into the country. They don’t even have Spanish plates. These are the people whom the police were actually looking for, and such people are a menace to other road users. So, good luck to them to pull such people off the road.

I was driving my old beat up work-horse of a Volvo, that I love. Can you imagine had I pulled up in my Jaguar Sovereign. They would likely have had a heart attack.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Stupid is as Stupid does

Stupid is as Stupid does -Burning Rubber

This is a quote from a film, but I’m really not all that certain what it means. It’s just one of those sayings that kind of stick. However, it could be made to fit with the actions of so many drivers. I witnessed yet another really stupid, and dangerous action on the part of somebody who evidently has shit for brains, and that got me thinking whether we actually know that we are being stupid at the time we commit stupid acts?

The driver, and I must say that these are all men, who drives very fast, pulling in and out of traffic, only to turn off the road in just a few metres is being very stupid indeed, but is he so stupid that he really does not realize it?

I look back on my life and there was a period when I rode like a demon. The only time when I realized that I was being very stupid was when I found myself under a car that had fortunately stopped. Had it not the back wheels would have run over me. That was my wake up call and after that experience I wised-up and became responsible in my travels.

The boy rider with a girl on the back who rides along the motorway as fast as he can go is being both stupid and very reckless with someone else’s life. Presumably he is trying to impress her, but he only has to get her home safely to do that.

I think that it is a fact that everyone who causes a vehicle crash thinks, “if only I didn’t do this or that, the accident need not have happened.” Obviously too late, the time for such thoughts is before you go. It’s bad enough if you only get a speeding ticket. If only you were not in such a hurry; if only I had left home earlier, and a thousand such if only scenarios.

The other option is to arrive at your destination without incident of any kind. The Department of Traffic like to say that they cannot drive for you, so it is up to each and every one of us to get it right. No one else can make that happen for us.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Driving and Weather

Driving and Weather

When popping out to the supermarket could be the last thing you ever do.

Recently, I was driving under threatening clouds when suddenly the rain started. If you asked me how many times has that happened throughout my 55 year driving record I just couldn’t even imagine. However, on this particular occasion the rain increased in its intensity, so I increased the speed of my wipers and slowed my driving speed. The rain increased even further to the extent of affecting visibility, so I turned on my hazard lights and the rear red light, but the rain became even harder, and heavy.

Traffic became difficult to see and the road markings could hardly be seen. By this time I had slowed to a crawl but I thought I was in danger because of the idiots who would have pushed hard regardless, so I was thinking that perhaps I should pull off the road.

I passed one car that had stopped, and then another, and then I started seeing cars on the other side of the road that had stopped. There was even one motorcyclist, poor fellow, who was huddled over the gas tank. Finally, it was raining so hard that I was unable to see beyond my windscreen wipers, so on instinct, and at a mere crawl I pulled over to my right until I brushed the leaves of a tree and decided that was probably far enough.

Not a soul moved, not even trucks, and there we sat for about fifteen minutes. I have often seen pictures of cars that are under water. I always thought that they were cars that had been parked and left by their drivers, but maybe they got that way because of the circumstances I have described. We were fortunate in that we were at the top of a hill with good run-off for the water, but you can safely bet that there were people who weren’t so lucky.

Driving and sudden intense weather patterns, such as overwhelming rain, hail, wind, snow, ice and tornadoes presents a constant danger to motorists. After those graphic pictures we saw from Japan we have to also add earthquake and tsunami. There is no advice that can be offered, such as know the weather forecast before you go. We simply don’t function like that. I can only hope that you are as lucky as I have been to have had only two encounters of such intensity in my entire experience.

They are not fun! They might also be the end of the line if you are really so unfortunate.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

An Annual Event

It Happens every Year

There are some things you can set your watch by, and the annual exodus and returns from the city are one of those things. People just can’t wait to get out of their offices and to hit the road on their way to vacation-land. Personally, I cannot fault them for feeling like this. The first day of June, and July, and possibly the day or two before are the days for the mass exodus, and by mass I do mean just that. Millions of people stack themselves into little tin cans with wheels and head on out.

For the Traffic Department this must be their time of year for the greatest headaches. It is when over-crowding becomes very real. There are whole families all in one moving place thereby making the possibility of total disaster so much closer to happening. I have sworn that during these times I will not join in the madness. If I have to drive at all it will only be very short distances, or I will leave after everybody else has gone, and come back when they are all at home.

Coastal towns become besieged by people from the interior of the country, as well, people who live along one part of the coast decide they want to go to another, or that they want to go to their holiday homes with swimming pools inland.

These are supposed to be happy times. However, all to often families suffer disasters while in motion. It doesn’t have to be this way. There are some things that drivers can do to ensure that they will not be part of the unhappy statistics:

- Never drive when you are tired. Be sure that the night before you get a decent rest that will prepare you for the day ahead. Stop every two hours for a rest.
- Never, never, never drink alcohol and then take control of a vehicle. Forget custom, start a new trend and leave alcohol or drugs out of your consideration.
- Everybody has to wear a seatbelt. Remember, a toddler roaming around loose in the car will kill everybody through causing a distraction.
- Be super alert and attentive. Anticipate what might happen and prepare for it.
- Eat light meals along the way so that you are not made drowsy by heavy foods.
- As the driver, your judgement will make or break the holiday. Be a hero to your family and get them there and back safely.

My wish is that during this Summer there will be no fatal crashes. However, if I can’t have that wish, then at least there should be as few as possible.

Good Luck Everybody, and Happy Motoring!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Cars I have loved

Cars I have loved , and loved, etc.

I was the first person in my family to own a car. I bought it when I was sixteen years old from a U.S. Navy officer who had treated it as though it were a pair of his dress shoes. It was spotlessly clean, and white, and a Ford Prefect, with a visor. No car ever meant more to its owner than that one, and I’m not talking about the seller, I’m talking about myself.

With the transfer of documents something happened to me, and as I sit here all these years later, I’m not really sure what it was, but I changed from being just anybody to being a car owner. I had transport, and thanks to the seller it was elegant and looked as though it just came out of the showroom. I recall the rather bemused reaction of the officer who was a little surprised at how a simple car could mean so much to one person. He kept repeating, “Well, I did want it to go to a good home.”

That car confirmed that I had become a man, even though I was too young to legally own it, and to license it. That didn’t stop me from driving it, but looking back that was really a stupid thing to have done. The risk I took was having an accident that would have been uninsured, and all the attendant problems of driving without a license at the very start of my life. What the hell was I thinking?

When I finally went to test for my license I had to get someone walking nearby to drive the car into the testing area. He said he could drive but I really didn’t know if he actually had a license. Anyway, he parked it and went along his way. The examiner said he’d seen me arrive and asked where was my driver. The driver has gone, I replied. “What if you fail your test?” “I didn’t come to fail,” said I. What arrogance!

Later that day while I was driving on my newly acquired permit, a pedestrian stepped out into the road and I had to brake sharply. It was the examiner.

My next car was a Jaguar XK120, British Racing Green, and convertible. I was living in London then, and that car was all engine. One evening I decided I would attend a concert at the Queen Elizabeth II Concert Hall, with The Queen Mother as Patron. I had dressed in a tux and I attended solo. On the way I stopped at a red light and was immediately sought after for my autograph by some excited girls calling me Lennie. I had no idea who Lennie was but I milked the situation as much as I could.

After the concert I went to stand at the side of the red carpet to see the Queen Mother leave. To my utter surprise she came over to me to ask whether I had enjoyed it. I was so tongue-tied I‘m sure she didn’t understand a word I said.

I next bought a Ford Capri that was just lovely. It confirmed in me a fan for Ford cars, even though I never bought another. I would actually love to own a Ford Mondeo, but perhaps at a later date. The Capri gave me the same sort of prestige I had enjoyed with the Jag, as I was living yet again in Bermuda. I drove it for years and years, and when the time came to write it off, you might have thought I had lost a family member. In a way, of course, I had.

My next car was a VW Scirocco, a real prize that I bought from a man who sold it for reasons unknown, because it was sexed up and looked fabulous. It had oversize tyres, was shiny black, with tinted windows. The inside was like a space ship with all sorts of add-ons, and the sound system was to die for. In reality, it was a super stereo system on wheels. I drove it until I left Bermuda when I gave it to my brother. Unfortunately he was unable to keep it up and it died a natural death.

We came to Spain and bought a Fiat station wagon, that for me, was very down to earth. We made good use of its space, but in the end it developed a hiccup that no-one was able to rectify. It was therefore just left to sit. When I went back to it to start the engine and try and deliver some large refuse to the dump, it ran perfectly. All it needed was a vacation. However, because of its advanced age we sent it to the home for senior cars, and in its place I bought a Chrysler seven-seater people carrier. This is an American car that had such a wonderful roar, but some thugs decided it was much too nice a car for me to drive, so they stole it and set it alight.

In place of the Chrysler I bought a Volvo 850. This is my everyday workhorse and a really fine piece of engineering. I just love the car, although it developed a habit of trying to kill me by simply ceasing to run without warning. When I called on the Volvo experts to fix it they had no idea what was wrong with it, and instructed that I was to remove it from their garage. Stupid bastards! In other words I was to take it away and dump it.

I demanded from Volvo, Sweden that they find me some real help. They instructed the main concession for Spain to talk to the garage, and they came back to me, suitably chastened to ask that I let them take another look. It’s fixed now, and the problem was so simple. A change of the main fuses cleared that up. Gradually, I found that I was spending a lot of time in the garage with it as a number of parts needed to be changed due to its age, so when the opportunity of a lifetime came along, I was ready.

One of NATO’s VIP cars was put up for sale. It was a Jaguar Sovereign that had been treated like a mascot, and no-one had ever got in that car, with the exception of mechanics, of course, with dirty shoes. It sits outside my house now as my classic car that gets driven once a week, if the weather is good.

It was a silly thing to do, I grant you that, but at my age I may never get the chance to do anything quite as silly again. Here’s to life!!!!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Motorcycles

Very Cool Motorcycles


I have ridden motorcycles all of my life, and now that I am 72 it may be time to give up this love affair, but I am still mounting them and riding on. My favourite experience over more than 55 years just simply has to be the time I spent on The Honda Goldwing, but frankly, that has come to be a bike too heavy for me these days.

I reflect on the ease, when I was much younger, with which I rode hard and fast, sometimes with others, but often as a solo rider. It all started with a moped and the movie “The Wild One” with Marlon Brandon. That galvanised several bike groups into being, but in defence I have to say that our main menace was on the road. Once we got to where we were going we were a perfectly decent bunch of guys.

Fortunately, all the young guys that I rode with survived our passage of growth to go on to bigger and better things. In my case that included touring Europe over about three months on a BSA 500. What a wonderful bike that was. Very durable, because it took two of us around England, Scotland and Wales. Holland, Belgium, France, Spain, Portugal, Gibraltar, Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. I have the most fond memories of that epic (for me) adventure, and don’t regret a moment of it.

Various motorcycles came in between the BSA and the Goldwing, but with the ‘Wing I had attained the ultimate riding experience. Now, don’t get me wrong, if I had my choice I would have one Harley and one Goldwing. They are each representative of different biking lifestyles.

If you ever ride a ‘Wing you will get the same question many times: “Why don’t you just get a car?” I can understand where the question comes from, especially as the ride is quiet and comfortable, with music and mobile phone access and Communicator helmets, but you are outside the box of a car, and that makes all the difference. Even nuns turn their heads to look at this bike.

I have never seen a Goldwing that has crashed, and I hope I never do. That would be one sad sight. The bike is so heavy that riders always worry about dropping it. There is a technique for lifting it on one’s own, should you have the strength, but you never want to have to put it in practice.

On the down side, riding bikes is a dangerous activity, and always has been. However, when you are young and indestructible the risks are not recognised, or even thought about. As you grow older you start thinking that I might fall and break a hip, or something. I’ve got a mortgage, for crying out loud! Recently I had a small accident that broke my leg. I’m back walking and functioning more or less normally, but I am carrying two long screws in the leg that reminds me of the incident that came at a time in my life when it was difficult to recover.

But, I still love motorcycles, and I do ride whenever it makes sense. So, if you see a cool looking senior citizen gliding on by, that’s me. Be kind and give me a thumbs up! Please!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Home Again

No Place like Home

After a road trip of 2, 400 kilometres, we are home again, safe and sound. As I stated in the first of this series, I would not normally take to the roads during peak driving times when everybody and his brother are out and touring, but because we have a friend who now lives in France, we took the risk. However, our timing was such that we allowed all of the madding crowd to go ahead of us, and we came home after they did, leaving us with normal traffic.

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit with our friend. Before she moved she was always near at hand, but now that she lives in another country we realise what a truly wonderful person she is, and we miss her dearly.

We were together on the day of the Royal Wedding, and it was so nice to see that people all over the world joined in with street parties and celebrations all of their own. The curious thing was that I think it was both a wedding and homage to William’s mother who was taken from us far too soon.

Diana’s funeral brought out a side of the great British public that no-one knew they were capable of, and after all these years they still care. By giving our love and best wishes and unqualified support to her oldest son, we somehow were able to express our continuing admiration to Lady Di, Queen of Hearts.

We left our friend on Saturday to drive back to Valencia, and although with two of us driving we could have made the trip in about twelve hours, we took two days by driving through places of interest. From the area of Poitiers we headed south to Pau, in France, a charming little town that sits at the base of the Pyrenees Mountains. We took our time and followed National roads all the way, being very careful to obey traffic signs and speed limits, because the police were very much in evidence.

After a comfortable night, we continued on our journey that took us through and over the mountains, along some of the most pleasant, and challenging roads one could ask for. When it came time to cross the border we did so on the inside of a tunnel that was 8.9 kilometres long. It was our intention to spend the night in Alcañiz, a busy little town with a grand Parador in Spain. Spending the night there was a lovely experience and a fitting last night away from home.

From Alcañiz we simply headed for Valencia, and home. It had been a wonderful way to spend the Easter holiday. We were able to do so without serious incident, and our choice of route was both interesting and informative. On the way to our destination in France we spent about twenty-five euros in tolls. On the way back, we spent zero on tolls, but it really is a shame about the fine of 100 euros I picked up by finally getting caught by radar.

Ah well!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

On the Road Again

On the Road Again with a visit to Cognac Country

With apologies to Willie Nelson, we continued our trip to France, having stopped to celebrate Good Friday with the good people of Zaragoza. Driving was relatively good because of the absence of overcrowding on the road, and for this reason there is not a lot to discuss about the drive itself, except to say that the further north we travelled the greener the scenery became.

This is because in this part of the country the rains come with more frequency, and in this regard they are the lucky ones. The river Ebro flows freely generating an excess of water that the south want to buy. Because of politics, the North won’t sell the water for reasons that even they don’t understand. It’s just part of the stupidity of men.

We carried on into France, and the only complaint I have is the robbery that is carried out by each little community taking tolls from travellers. I’m sure that the practice is excessive, and at one time it was the highwaymen who robbed the traveller. These days it is the authorities who carry out the ritual.

We spent the night in a rest stop in the town of Bordeaux that was pleasant enough. It is an important French town with many typical government buildings that are architectural works of art. However, we were anxious to reach our destination to visit with our friend in a little town called Couhé. I want to describe this little paradise in greater detail once I have had the opportunity to get to know it well.

We did a little day trip once we arrived and had a chance to settle down. France is wine country, or to be more exact grape country, and you find yourself in the midst of all of the well-known household names, such as the afore-mentioned Bordeaux, Chateaunauf, Champagne, Sauvignon, Beaujolais, and Cognac, to name a few. It was to Cognac that we took our day trip to visit the home of famous brandies, or to be more precise, Cognacs. Apparently anyone can make a brandy, but not a Cognac. There is only one Cognac district for many good reasons.

We paid a very pleasing visit to the home of the cathedral of fine Cognac, Remy Martin, a fine drink that I have been an aficianado of for over 50 years. We were given a well-presented tour by a young American in Cognac Country, a lovely exchange student named Laura. I was so impressed by her manner and cordiality that I promised her I would tell you that you would do well to include a visit to her establishment in your plans. The entrance charge is well worth it.

For me, a confirmed Cognac drinker, this was the equivalent of a visit to the fountain and the source. The visit takes two hours and includes a good description of the manufacturing process, and, of course, a sampling session. Whether it is V.S.O.P. or the XO line, for me Cognac is the best. When it comes to deciding which brand is at the top it may be a case of who has the best public relations, however, I have tried most of the well-known brands and I love them all.

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Good Friday

Road Trip - Good Friday in Zaragoza

It’s Easter, 2011, and we are doing something I thought we would never do. We have set out on a road trip to visit a friend who has moved from Spain to France, and the only time we can find to make a visit is during the Easter school break. Normally, when all the world, and his brothers and sisters take to the road I stay at home. That is because over holiday times like these there is usually a spike in deaths on the road. As a compromise we gave them all a head start and we waited until Good Friday to set out. Good move, as the roads were practically empty.

We left Valencia on the way to Zaragoza as a first stage, with a stop in Teruel for coffee and to stretch our legs. We arrived at noonday when the drums broke their Good Friday silence in a roar. The tradition is for drummers to commemorate the Crucifixion and burial of Christ starting at noon. It also made for a very nice welcome to us. In all, there were about 50 drummers, and that for us was quite impressive. Little did we know!

We carried on our travels arriving in Zaragoza about 3pm, and we found our hotel easily because it was situated on the Plaza Pilar, one of the main centres with a massive open space, fronted on one side by the great Basilica and church, and on the other by hotels and restaurants. At the moment that we arrived there was one of the Brotherhoods on parade with drums and wearing the pointy-headed costumes that is normal for Semana Santa festivities.

After a nice lunch we wondered around for a little while, and very rapidly it was time for the great processions commemorating the burial of Christ. This is done by parading Christ in various stages of the taking down from the cross, to the final depiction being Mary, the Mother of Christ being depicted in all her pain and sorrow.

We had read somewhere that this would involve a total of about 10,000 drummers, but we assumed that to be a typo. There were many Brotherhoods participating, each one from a different church, and consisting of about 200 drummers in each group, some of them were very little children whose drums were bigger than they were. The processions went on for about three hours and were very colourful, so I suppose that in the end there were about 10,000 drummers. The noise was deafening and was not to be ignored.

I’m not a very religious person, but I did have empathy with the believers on that day. One point of interest was that we had asked a policeman about the route of the parade beforehand, and whether the procession would pass our hotel. He said that they never passed that way, however; the parade has finished about an hour ago and we are now back at our hotel. Probably most of the groups are not yet prepared to call it a day, so they are parading around and around the plaza in front of our hotel.

That’s all well and good, but when are these people going to go home?

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Letting the Train take the Strain

Fabulous Train Views

I do love to ride the train. I’m sure that’s because I very rarely do, so when the opportunity comes around I’m like a kid. However, I like my train rides to be long distance non-stop affairs that give me time to sink into the start, to go to sleep during the middle part, and to really feel the experience of going somewhere with never before- seen passing scenery. The magic begins when at precisely the announced hour and minute the train very quietly leaves the station. No blaring horn or “All Aboard” to jolt my senses, just a nice and quiet leaving. If you other people are late, tough shit. We’re on our way. For the first little while I am wide awake and fully conscious of everything that is sliding past, but little by little my eyes start to cloud over to the sound of the click-clack, and the gentle swaying of the coaches. I don’t even see it coming, my eyes just close and my head goes down to my chest, and I pray that I’m not snoring too loud, or God forbid, I’m not drooling. I can report that some of the most enjoyable sleeps I have ever had were on trains. My most notable train ride was from Montreal, Canada straight through to Banff Springs, Alberta, Canada. The railways don’t do this anymore, you have to take several different connecting trains, but back then we simply got on one end, and got off in Banff. If you understand that I come from a country that is exactly 35 kilometres long, and Canada is more than 3,500 miles across, then you get the idea of how exciting this was for me. Through cities and towns and farmland, and beautiful mountains we went, but it was the plains, endless vistas of land with just wheat or other crops, and completely flat land that totally hypnotized me. I have never seen such open spaces, even though I have visited the U.S. Obviously the land mass is equal, but I have always found myself within built-up areas in the U.S. Only in Canada have I ventured that far outside civilization. I was taking pictures of the plains when a Canadian asked me, “What the hell are you taking pictures of?” We had sleeping accommodation that was very small that encouraged intimacy. On the first night I went to sleep naked with my head against the interior wall. I awoke in the early morning when I realized that we were not moving. In fact, we were stopped alongside another train, and passengers from that train were cueing up to see my flaccid penis. I never made that mistake again. You can never know where the train will stop. I have such a fascination with trains that I will write future blogs on the subject, but I just wanted to say that I have recently completed a fairly straightforward journey between Valencia City and Alicante terminal. I did this using the Euromed, a very comfortable train, even travelling in tourist class. What was particularly fascinating about this journey is that I have also driven the distance, and trying to figure exactly where I was on the train in relation to the road system was difficult to track at all times. Trying to get my bearings from station names when we were zipping past at 200 kph was impossible. I think I have finally figured out the approximate route, but trying to do so added a bit of intrigue. A new experience has just been added between Valencia and Madrid with the AVE service, a super-fast train that covers the distance in one and a half hours, whereas with other services it takes between three to four hours. Many people have been taking a day outing, just for the hell of it. I must join in the fun of Valencia-Madrid-Valencia in one day. More train stuff to come in the near future. Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Driving Tests Cheats

People shouldn't cheat, but they do.

I noticed through an article in the newspaper that the cheats are at it again in the never-ending quest to get the all-important Spanish Driving licence. Having driven all of my adult life I came to Spain only to discover that I had to start from scratch, in Spanish, to study for my Spanish licence. Since I had no skill in the language it was the greatest challenge of my life, but given that I could not live in this country without driving, failure was not an option. Along the way I discovered that not only did you have to know the rules of the road intimately, but you also had to know how the test was administered.

Basically, it was not user friendly at all, to the extent that I concluded that its purpose was to make the applicant fail. Assuming that this was true, one possible reason might have been to try and hold back the tsunami of new would-be drivers and their cars that would add to the already over-crowded streets. My driving school didn’t want to take me on as a client because I did not have a command of Spanish, so it was deemed an impossible task. But I passed the theory on the first try, which is something that most Spanish people don’t do, and I passed the driving practical exam on the first go as well. However, I had been driving for fifty years, although that could have gone against me as bad habits become entrenched by then. Once I had my permit I set about offering a service to other English-speaking people because I had got into the heads of the examiners and I was able to go through the various practice tests papers to point out the traps.

There would be many groups of two questions that essentially asked the very same question, but because of how the question was stated the applicant was set up to answer one correctly and the other incorrectly. I grew to respect the skill of the people who set the questions, but I certainly did not respect the fact that the public were being treated in such a manner. The effect was to penalize perfectly innocent people. So, I understood when those on the inside started working with those on the outside to make money from those who were willing to pay. But sharp-eyed law enforcement types who probably expect this sort of thing took their time until they knew exactly how the scams were being worked, then they busted everybody. The toll was really impressive, and big names went down together with the clients who lost their licences and had to wait for a long time before they could start all over again. The publicity was great and one would have thought that the message was clear. However, a new form of the scam has unfolded with people buying their driving permits. The temptation must be great when in order to obtain your driving permit involves jumping so many hurdles.

However, I have retired from the business of assisting people because the volume of applicants who wanted my service simply didn’t warrant me providing it. The conventional advice when buying a house is, first, find a good lawyer to represent your interests. Most people ignore that because it adds a cost. When they get in trouble, then they seek a really good lawyer to help them, although often it is too late. In my case I suggested a person speak to me first before doing anything else about getting a licence. Far too few took that advice, and paid the price for it. It’s a shame really, but that’s life here in Spain. Try to grin and bear it!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael