The Metaphysics of Motoring

Published Sunday, June 24, 2007

How Sweet it is!

This term was made famous by Jackie Gleason, the comedian in his role as Ralph Kramden, of “The Honeymooners” TV series fame. It came to my mind when a really great client of mine sent me the following unsolicited testimony with the words, “You may do with it as you please.”

Her very kind words made not only my day, but my entire year, so I am very pleased to share with you. As though I needed an excuse, I hold this testimony up as an example of the result of doing a job to the best of one’s ability, although in most cases clients don’t take the time to put their thoughts down on paper.

I am greatly encouraged by my super-client’s comments. I fear that many of the cashiers in our household-name supermarkets will never hear such approving words regarding their performances. For them we need a rudeness award. But don’t get me started on that!

As you read on, I Thank the lovely Jackie for her praise and I am happy to have been of assistance. I wish her many years of happy and safe motoring. Here in its entirety is her e-mail:


“Eugene and The Metaphysics Of Motoring


“Eugene Carmichael, is a highly experienced driver with over 50 years experience of driving including advanced police and emergency driving training. He also obtained his Spanish driving license by passing the Spanish system of examination.

“No matter how experienced a driver may be it can be daunting driving in a new country especially if a person has come from an urban environment in northern Europe where a car is seldom used. Such would be the case for London residents.

“Yes, one can and should take additional lessons in the new country if one feels and knows it to be necessary but what happens next, when one feels back in the swing of driving, yet there is an apprehension about local driving conditions and an initial language barrier?

“Eugene is the man! He helps his clients banish their fears, real or imaginary by helping them to appraise their skills and develop new ones where appropriate. Eugene is fully supportive of the new stricter driving code in Spain and is committed to road safety.

“Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy which investigates the first principles of nature and thought. It is natural to move and mankind, ever inventive, has for centuries devised methods of moving from A to B, hence the motorcar. Travelling / moving involves a thought process and it is the thought process which shapes our skills as motorists, given that we are physically and mentally competent to drive.

“Eugene has a marvellous ability to help one internalize safe and competent strategies for driving. He is kind and considerate but firm where necessary; his services are helpful for women, who without being sexist, sometimes do not know how, or have forgotten to care for their vehicle, for example oil levels and tyre pressures. Yes, this can be managed by a garage, but it’s best to know the basics oneself.

“Eugene’s tuition is complete from the basic care of your vehicle to the revision and addition of good driving skills and practice. As motorists we have an obligation to ourselves and other road users to use our best endeavours for safety and competence on the roads. Eugene is a mine of information, but the most important aspect is his sound coaching skills. Eugene has helped many people literally from square one, people who have passed their driving test but for many reasons have not felt confident to drive in Spain.

“Eugene is above all a really decent chap with a tremendously worthwhile mission. It could be that all that is needed is a couple of hours of instruction , or it could be that a detailed programme of instruction is needed by the motorist. You will have to make the decision yourself, but making the decision to seek help and advice is a positive step towards safety. A driver no matter how skilled, who has for one reason or another become nervous can be a risk to themselves and to others.

“Yes it’s true that a lot of bad drivers are not nervous or even aware of their incompetence but what happens when you meet them on the road. On one of my coaching sessions a motorist overtook me on a dual carriage way by crossing a solid white line; another pulled almost half way out into the road from a side turning! Fear does not help in these situations, strategic defensive driving does. Eugene also has a corrective eye for drivers with bad habits and will check you out for this.. He is a really nice man who is easy to get along with and inspires confidence.”
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My caution to new arrivals, particularly from the U.K. where you have been driving on the left is to take the greatest care not to make the fatal mistake of driving on the left here on the Continent. Always, before setting off, check that your left elbow, that’s the one that’s part of the arm you most likely wear your watch on, is pointing at the middle of the road. If it is pointing at the wall next to you, you have to take corrective action quickly and safely. You may also wish to use as your mantra the sentence: “The Right side is The Right Side!” In the U.K. the right side is the wrong side.

Driving round a roundabout the wrong way may be a bit more difficult to do, but be mindful that here the flow is counter-clockwise. Some very determined people have got it wrong. To do so could ruin your entire day.

Motorcyclists! Wear a reflective green “Gerry Jacket” by day and night. Be Seen to be Safe!

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Young Motorists

Published June 17, 2007

My son is now in his sixteenth year. At age fourteen he obtained his moped license (over my personal objections) because at that time the law allowed the minimum age of entry at fourteen. That law was put in place when Spain was a much different place and the pace of life was much slower and gentler. The law has recognised the danger in allowing people onto the roads at such an early age, so the minimum age is now sixteen.

I pointed out to my son that riding a moped outside of urban areas, (outside of town) carries an especially dangerous risk. Because the moped is engineered to travel at no more than 45 kph riders find themselves riding along the extreme righthand edge of the road. Consequently, impatient vehicle drivers tend to ignore them and push right past often resulting in the moped rider being pushed right off the road.

In some areas moped riders are allowed to use Autovias as there does not exist any other reasonable road for them. The autovia allows for cars and motorcycles to travel at speeds up to 120 kph. So, the moped rider must use the breakdown lane to stay out of the way of speeding cars and trucks. But what happens when the cycle rider wants to go straight on but has to cross an exit or an acceleration lane for vehicles entering the autovia? The potential here is unacceptably high that the cyclist may well be killed by some impatient imbecile, of whom there are far too many on our roads.

When I realised that my son would get his license anyway I at least looked around for a school that would give proper training to him to build the twin skills of bike handling and coping with other road users. There is the world - class racing track at Cheste near us where we thought that such instruction might be available, but no, it simply does not exist.

I did convince my son to wait until he turned sixteen so that he would be able to ride a motorcycle with an engine of 125 cc. A moped of 49cc is insufficiently powered to get its riders out of trouble. It can only get him into trouble by being so slow moving. At least, with 125 cc the rider can get up to the maximum speed of 120 kph, and therefore he can occupy his place in the lane. Here, he now needs to be visible to car drivers, therefore he should follow the example of the police and wear a lime-green reflective jacket, by day as well as by night. Of course, with the additional power the rider can get himself into trouble by riding too fast. But that is something he can control, and what’s more, only he can do so.

It is my intention to train my son thoroughly in defensive riding. He will have the benefit of more than 50 years of my experience. I have been trained to high-priority standards so that when he begins his riding experience he will be well prepared for almost any eventuality. All very well for my son, but what about your son or daughter? I hope the following tips will be of help:
- Does your bike have a side stand that you have to swing down to park. If it does, what happens when you want to ride off? Do you have to remember to flip the stand up again, because if you do, the first (and probably only) time that you forget you will almost surely be killed, or at least suffer severe harm. What would happen if you set off with the stand in the down position, is when you lean to the left the stand will dig into the ground and throw you off like a bucking horse. Other traffic will probably finish you off.

Recommendation: Unless the side stand automatically swings into the up position when you take the weight off it, have it removed as it is a death trap. Please note that some motorcycles have a failsafe mechanism fitted so that if you try to set off with the side stand in the down position, when you put the bike into gear the engine will cut out.

- As part of the visibility factor your bike’s headlight should remain on by day and by night. However, you cannot rely on this to make you as fully visible because if you are coming towards a car driver from out of a background where there are lots of lights, your one little light blends in and could be a street light to the driver. Again, this is where a reflective vest would increase your chances of not being hit by a car that wants to turn left across your path. The sight of a lime-green vest means “human being present”. The situation of your visibility at night is worse from the rear because you only have one tiny little red light to indicate your presence, and even that could be mistaken for a roadside marker. Wear the vest. “Be Seen to be Safe.”
- When applying the brakes on your bike it is very important to apply both the rear brakes and the front brakes together. This gives your bike stability when stopping, but of course, too much pressure of the front brakes and you go flying. Unfortunately, most cycles don’t have their own version of ABS, (anti-lock Braking System), which is a shame.
- When riding with a passenger there seems to be a universal need to show off to give your passenger the thrill of speed while threading between cars. If you really want to impress your passenger, get him or her home safely. That will impress them for all time.
- Wear appropriate bike attire, starting with a good helmet. Also, a good leather jacket, worn both summer and winter acts as a second skin so that if you do go down the leather will save you ugly and painful road rash. Remember that asphalt contains ground glass. Girls, I love to see you ride by wearing the skimpiest of clothes, but I would rather forego that pleasure to know that you are properly protected. Some say that they don’t want to mess up their hair by wearing a helmet. Well, reflect on this: if you get taken to hospital with head injuries your hair gets shaved off!

“Be Seen to Be Safe!” Ride carefully and responsibly. You are too vulnerable otherwise.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

What A Crying Shame!

Published Sunday, june 10th, 2007
As reported by newspaper, The Sun’s headline read, “ 3 killed at 125mph”. They were reporting on the tragedy of three young people, 30 years and under who lost their lives in one blinding flash while being conveyed in a top of the line BMW M3 convertible at apparently such a horrendous speed that upon impact with a palm tree the car actually exploded. This occurred at the La Zenia roundabout along the N-332 on the Costa Orihuela, Alicante Provence.

As this is an opinion column I feel compelled to weigh in with my two cents worth. But, this is not going to be a judgemental piece about young people out partying because their families have quite enough to deal with already without someone, such as myself, who didn’t even know any of the three or their families making critical comments. After all, I’m not so old that I don’t remember that I was young once. However, I am reminded that one only gets to be my age if you have a whole lot of luck and a very active guardian angel.

Rather than getting bogged down with the obvious, I would like to give you my impression of how I felt on hearing this news: Firstly, I became aware of what had happened through the Spanish nightly news, which included some rather graphic footage of the crash scene. I could not take in what I was seeing. Later, the Costa Levante News produced the print version of the story, which I have read and re-read many times. The first time I read it completely through, and subsequently I have analysed selected parts and dwelt on them.

One sentence stated “The impact was so great that the car’s engine was hurled 200 YARDS from the wreckage.”

If The Sun and The Costa Levante have their measurements correct, we can make a comparison with the following to get a better idea of just how far the engine was thrown. The width of an American College football field is 160 yards, and the length is 360 yards.

The regulation soccer field length is 130 yards, and the width is 100 yards.

This means that the emergency services would have passed the engine on the way to the scene. If it was in plain sight they would likely have exclaimed, “ What’s that?”

Another sentence stated that the car “ smashed into a palm tree at 125 mph and exploded into pieces.” Using a converter I found on the internet to convert mph to km/h we see that 125 mph is 201.16 km/h. I then proceeded to find something to measure that with, so I looked up the current land speed record held by a road going car, which led me to the strangest discovery. It seems that a young man named Mike Newman, in an effort to raise awareness of the problems of blindness, (as well as raising funds) set the record on October 11th, 2005 at Evington Aerodrome, near York, England, in a BMW M5, by travelling at 178.5 mph, while blindfolded. His previous record was 144. mph, and that is only 19 mph more than 125 mph. If indeed that car was travelling at 125mph, that will surely be the record for the N-332.

Incidentally, I also have a new found respect for palm trees.

I have long held an opinion that a manufacturer who makes a road-going car that can greatly exceed the maximum speed limit is not acting responsibly. In Germany there is no limit on the autobahn, but elsewhere in the civilized world the maximum is 120 km/h. So, why do we have cars in Spain that can top 200 km/h? It is not an isolated case that someone drove a car at such a speed. I have written before of very rich people who have been seen driving along the motorway at top speed in their top-of-the line sports cars. They seem to have been completely oblivious to the fact that they would very quickly catch up with unsuspecting traffic ahead.

Most loss of life on the roads doesn’t involve such dramatically high speed, but death is death. This incident comes on top of so many others we might be tempted to say that we have become numb. That is not the way I feel. Each tragedy weighs upon my psyche. Because my wife and I are parents of a teenaged son I always think of what must it have been like for the parents to have received the initial news, and how do they cope on a day-to-day basis. I think of my own mortality and wonder if it might all end in a flash for me. Most of us think and assume that it will not, but why not? Yes, we can control our own behaviour, but we cannot control the behaviour of others.

Former American President, Bill Clinton was famous for saying that he felt the pain of those who suffered around him. I feel the pain of the three families and their friends. Their loss did not have to be, and that must surely make it worse. It’s one thing to have a family member involved in a high-risk endeavour and to lose them through that, such as was the case of the space shuttle Columbia that disintegrated upon re-entry into earth’s atmosphere. The three families concerned simply lost their loved ones to a fun night out.

Finally, a police spokesman made the understatement for the year as he said, “it’s a miracle nobody else was injured as there was wreckage all over the road. The car exploded on impact.” That particular roundabout is usually very busy with people even waiting at the impact site for the bus. The fact that it happened at 6am saved many other peoples’ lives.

So, to Emily Scourfield, 24; Jonathan Grafton, 27; and Brian Hill, 30, Rest In Peace.



. Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

MG Car Club BCV8 Championship

Published June 3, 2007

I have stumbled upon a select group of men and women who are having entirely too much fun, and almost in secret. They are MG enthusiasts who have formed themselves into an eclectic club to enjoy themselves by indulging their classic cars in racing competitions.

Of course, I am utterly fascinated by Formula One racing. I am always awed by the presence of that much money, but I just can’t get my head around such an elite class, being as it is so far removed from my own reality. I drive a Volvo and have a mortgage, for goodness sake!

But the MG is another matter. It is a thing of my past, something that I grew up with in my midst. I never actually owned one myself, but a very good friend did and I have fond memories of cruising with the top down. On one such (rare) sunny day we drove out to a small airfield just north of London to where June had her Aeronca two-seater plane located. She had invited me to lunch at a French restaurant, but she didn’t tell me that it would be in Paris. But, I digress.

Of course, the Holland MG competitions take place mainly in Holland, but also in Belgium, Germany, and Luxembourg. England has the largest MG centres, and the greatest concentration of MG owners and members with thousands racing on the great circuits at Brands Hatch, Oulton Park, Mallory Park, and Silverstone, to name but a few. Included among the notables are Rown Atkinson, (Mr. Bean) who races his Aston Martin.

Races might include in the line-up any or all of the following: MGA, MGB, MGB GT, MGB GT V8, or the odd MGC. Most of the cars entered into competition were manufactured many years ago, some going back to the sixties, so, in every sense of the word these are classics that are lovingly restored and maintained. So the one thing you will likely not see much of is the NASCAR-type pile-ups that make for so much excitement. These will be gentlemen racers who want to win, but who try not to get too chummy on the track

Jan de Jonge is from Holland, and he competes in both Holland and England. Driver’s Seat caught up with Jan at his family’s home in Valencia to seek a first-hand view of this sport from a driver’s / owner’s viewpoint.

“ Racing of this type is non-professional, but is done by serious hobbyists. I have two cars, an MGA Coupe that I use for European competitions, and an MGB GTV8 that I use for racing in England.

“Speaking now about the competitions held in England, there are different classes as follows: A-class is standard; B-class are those roadsters that have been modified for racing; C-class are specifically designed for racing with V8, 3.9 litre controlled engines; and the class in which I race, D-class, that use Rover engines of a maximum 4.0 litres that are highly tuned. I have had my engine at 7,200 rpm producing 324 bhp.

“I have been racing since 1981 and I usually finish in the top three places. I have had my share of first-place finishes, but my pride and joy is having finished in the 1999 season, second overall. That involved a lot of hard work and a great deal of good luck to finish in that position after fourteen races. Weekends are taken up with practice on Saturdays and races on Sundays. A full race programme will consist of about nine races during the afternoon, usually by make of car, involving about 30-35 cars at the start of each race. So you get the MGs, the Porsches, the Ferraris, etc. in their individual team races. Very occasionally we get to race in a mixed card where all the different classes and marques compete, but this is just for fun.

“I consider Brands Hatch my home track, but it does involve moving by road my car with trailer from my home in Holland, which is just about my greatest recurring expense. Otherwise, the car is so well made that generally, maintenance is minimal and do-able between my colleague and myself.

Some quick FAQs:

- Top speed attained by Jan on the track in Holland was 260 km/h.
- C and D-class racers use slick-type (without grooves) tyres that need to be carefully assessed after four races. Where money is no object these would be changed at a cost of about 2,000 euros a set. However, with reasonably careful handling, these can be made to last the season. Jan uses eleven-inch surface tyres. Classes A and B are not allowed to use this type, instead they are restricted to commercially normal tyres.
- Attention to detail is important. Tyre inflation could be the difference between winning and second place. To do this even the temperature of the track must be measured. A hotter surface and you need to add air. A cooler track and you need to reduce air pressure. Getting it right is all down to skill and judgement.
- Safety standards are very high, and include a padded cockpit; a roll-cage; special six-point safety belt; and sophisticated fire control system to particularly protect the driver.

“I did crash once while racing at Croft, Scotland. At the time I was driving a C-class when a fellow driver and I got ourselves entangled and I went to the wall. That resulted in the write-off of the car, although much was salvageable, but that’s an experience I would not like to repeat, ever. As testimony to the safety of the car I walked away uninjured, but a little sore.

“Racing is an activity that demands your absolute concentration. There are so many things to be aware of all at once that your every nerve is engaged and your adrenaline is pumping at maximum level. With experience, and knowledge of your car much of what you are engaged in seems like second nature, but all it would take is a lapse of concentration for just a nano-second and things could go horribly wrong. Much like driving in Valencia, you might say.

“My sport, racing the MGB GTV8 is second to none, however, even professional commentators seem to believe that names like Ferrari and Porsche are ahead of us in prestige, when in many cases our cars are actually faster. We will just have to continue to do what we do best. In the meanwhile, we do have fun!

Driver’s Seat wishes Jan all the best in his endeavours!

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

A Formula One Racing Primer

Published: May 27th, 2007

If Formula One racing is to take place in Valencia for the 2008 season, far more Valencianos will be affected than by the America’s Cup, which is, after all out on the water. Racing in the streets of Valencia will be hard to ignore as it will be in our faces, and it will be loud. It will also be very exciting and that means that many of you who live in the South of Spain will no doubt make the trip for the event. So, unless you are already an aficianado, perhaps it would be a good thing for the rest of us if we all got to know a little about this new event that will galvanize our city, if it happens.

I visited the Wikipedia Encyclopedia on-line at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formula_One to gather some facts and figures for us to use as background.

Formula One racing is quite simply the highest form of racing of this kind. The “Formula” is a set of rules that are applied to this class of race. Formula One rules are not quite the same as the rules for Formula Three. As a driver you are at the top of your sport if you are in the starting line-up of the 22 cars in a Formula One race.

Formula One Racing, usually abbreviated as F1, and also known as Grand Prix racing, is said to be the most expensive sport of all. However, when considering the mega-money spent by the America’s Cup teams that seems difficult to believe. We can say for sure that F1 is among the top five in the costliest sports. Budgets are a closely kept secret, but estimates put the figures at between $60 million to $400 million per team for a season’s racing. Such astronomical cost of the competition has caused 28 teams to withdraw since 1990.

F1 racing is regulated by the Federation Internationale de’ Automobile (FIA), which has its headquarters at Place de la Concorde, Paris. The famous face that is most familiar in association with F1 is that of Bernie Ecclstone.

The formalization of the sport began in 1946 with the standardization of rules under the FIA, and interest in the emerging genre grew slowly but steadily throughout the 50,s, 60s, and 70,s. From 1981 the sport came into its own with an explosion of interest, drawing unto itself a multitude of participants and would-be investors.

There soon came about a separation of the boys from the men due to rapidly rising costs. Cars that were built privately were soon outclassed by those built by established motor manufacturers to the extent that today, virtually all racing cars are built by name factories in their special divisions.

As part of the shake-out there are four giants that dominate the sport. They are Teams McLaren, Williams, Renault, and of course Ferrari, who have survived from the start. Since 1984 the world championships have been won by one of these four exclusively. However, for the 2006 season there were eleven teams competing.

During the early 2000 years public interest fell off due to the predictability of the outcome. Michael Schumacher in the Ferrari was unbeatable. During his 15 year racing career, Schumacher won a total of 91 Grand Prix titles. In the 2004 season, he won 13 of the 18 races. Overall, he won a total of seven World Championships, and was undisputed Champion for 1,800 successive days.

Racing is for two titles: The Driver’s Championship, and The Constructor’s Championship. Schumacher won seven Driver’s, and Ferrari has won fourteen Constructor’s championships. Fernando Alonso ended Schumacher’s reign by winning the 2005 Championship and that led to the retirement of one of the greatest drivers who has left an imposing record to beat.

A race covers 305 kilometres and can last not longer than two hours, but usually is over within ninety minutes. Only the first eight finishers of the twenty-two starters receive points on a 10-8-6-5-4-3-2-1 basis. First place gains 10 points, second place 8, and third place 6, and so on. These points count toward the end of season result. Rules are somewhat complex, but broadly speaking a participant is allowed two stops for change of tyres and two for fuel during a race.

Currently, engines are standardised at 2.4 litres and V8 cylinder configuration producing 740 bhp and 20,000 rpm. (revolutions per minute). Attainable speeds of 350 km/h have been reached on track, but Honda, in an off-track experiment adhering to FIA rules reached 415 km/h. The fuel that is used is similar to that which is commercially available, although it smells more like aviation fuel.

Also, just so you know, what seems like a fireball from the rear of the car is not from the exhaust, but is in fact a light that is evidence that the traction control is working to keep the car from fishtailing.

Another particularly interesting factoid is that normally, an F1 course runs clockwise, but the course at Cheste runs counter-clockwise. This means that extreme stress will be placed upon drivers by the high G-forces present when they are cornering in mostly left-hand bends, and those G-forces will pull driver’s heads in the opposite direction than normal.

The primary consideration of the FIA in their rule book is that of safety. There were two deaths of drivers while behind the wheel in 1994, but since then there have not been any further such incidents, although two track marshals somehow got themselves killed.

During February there was F1 practising at the track in Cheste. I visited there in the company of a Dutch racing car driver, Jan de Jonge and his family, as they were interested to see how the Dutch team Spyker were getting along. You will immediately recognize the Spyker car as it is a brilliant Orange colour. Jan proved to be a valuable guide, and in a subsequent column we will be talking with him about racing as seen “From the Driver’s Seat.”

Always practice caution when driving. Remember, Care will get you There!

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Honda's Goldwing! More Than a Motorcycle!

• Published May 20th, 2007
• 
  There is something about the Honda Goldwing that turns heads. The first time I came upon one a group of nuns were gathered round it praising it to Heaven. Especially if its a cherry red colour. Not such a long time ago I took a round the British isles tour on a ‘Wing, riding solo, simply going where fancy directed me. My experiences on just that trip alone could fill a book. The thing is that this is not so much a motorcycle as it is a lifestyle. To begin with it is so luxurious that people who just don’t understand will likely ask, “ why not just get a car?” Here are some stats:
  
  - This is a motorcycle that runs on a 1500cc engine, and the newer models run on 2000cc.
  - The engine is a six-cylinder, dual-carbs, five gears, including overdrive, plus reverse. The reverse gear works off the starter motor and is used when it is necessary to roll the bike backwards up an incline. No matter how slight, it simply is not possible to push the bike because of its weight.
  - Standing still on its own it weighs some 850 pounds before adding 66 pounds of luggage and a full tank of petrol. Then with rider and passenger we begin to get into some serious weight. The perpetual worry is that of having the bike fall over, or having to stop on steep hills.
  - It is made for long-range touring, and to this end it is absolutely superb. It is possible to hitch a purpose-made trailer that folds out into a very intimate double bed tent, together with space underneath to carry pots and pans and all sorts. You can even attach a small refrigerator that runs off the cigarette lighter.
  - It has a superb sound system. From the cd/radio deck you can play your favourites on quadrasonic sound, two speakers in the front and two behind for the passenger.
  - Communication between passenger and rider is through helmet - to – helmet intercom, as well a CB system allows talk between riders of the group.
  - For cold weather riding, which most ‘Wing owners do not do, there is the facility to plug into the electrics your thermal underwear. Like wearing your electric blanket. The latest innovations are heated handle grips, and heated back rests with six points independent controls for passenger and rider. It also has a/con in the sense that it is possible to channel warm air from the engine on to legs and feet.

It had to happen eventually. Now, engineers have added air-bag protection in the case of frontal collision. Next, they will have to add-on as standard a tissue dispenser to wipe away the tears should the bike get hurt in an accident.

I was formerly a member of The Goldwing Owners Club of Great Britain, and the Goldwing Road Riders Association of America. Specifically I rode with Essex Wings and gathered many life-long lasting memories. What a great club! Notice I say “Club” and not gang. Oh no! These were gentlemen and gentle ladies, one and all. Law-abiding and courteous, and very experienced riders. It was quite enough to go for a run and to feel the power of our combined numbers.

We got our kicks from doing positive things like riding for charity, or taking someone very special for a ride to fulfill a wish.

Group riding has the effect on those on the roadside to stop what they are doing just for an instant to watch in awe. The young boy who just can’t wait to grow up; the elderly gentleman with the look on his face of “ah, if only…”, and the young girls whose eyes take on that certain twinkle. On Saturdays we often rode past churches where the wedding party was just coming down the steps. Many a bridegroom got himself into trouble by looking just a tad too wistful.

One of my more fond memories related to the day I rode into Oxford and parked the bike to go shopping. When I came back there was a throng closely inspecting everything about it. After allowing a few minutes to pass I proudly stepped through the group and opened the top box, took out my helmet and placed the key in the ignition. Everyone stepped back while taking an intense interest in my every move.

“SHOWTIME!” I turned the key and pressed the start button and people held their ears expecting a great varoom! What they got was the whisper quiet hum of a fine Swiss watch. Then I put it in reverse gear as mouths fell open and rested on chests. This scene, I thought, needs something. I happened to have on the sound system Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. “Oh, why not?” So to the strains of that lovely and stirring music I rode into the sunset, which were I not careful might have been the bushes, so carried away was I.

Enough of this reminiscence, where’s the nearest dealership?

Death on the roads? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Please don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Alcohol Poisoning!

Published May 13th, 2007

I have already written two columns on the evils of drinking too much alcohol, including trying to drive while impaired by even a little drink. I decided to look further into the subject of binge drinking, as being a particular threat to our children’s wellbeing. I know, they don’t like it when we call them our “children” but we parents will eternally think of them as such. Even when they are married and have children of their own.

My wife and I have one son. How old is he? Depends on who you ask. His mother probably thinks he’s twelve, and always will be. I think he’s sixteen, at least that’s what it says on his birth certificate. And if you ask him he thinks he’s thirty-three. Our challenge is to help keep him safe.

What is Alcohol Poisoning?

The world famous Mayo Clinic of the United States defines Alcohol Poisoning as a serious and sometimes deadly consequence of binge drinking of alcohol, otherwise known as ethanol.

I think that it may be commonly associated here in Spain with young people who congregate to hold illegal bottle parties. At these happenings some very serious drinking takes place as participants intentionally get hammered, po-faced, wrecked, and messed-up. Then, the next day they can be found saying “The Liar’s Prayer”. Dear God! If you will only let me live I promise never to do this again. (Untill next Saturday.) Usually this is said while hugging the toilet.

Why do we do such stupid things to ourselves deliberately? We know that the next day it’s really going to hurt. We’re probably going to make a fool of ourselves on the night. We may even do something that lands us in legal trouble. Then we get to say, “but I was drunk, yer honour! Like that made it better.

Now lest you think I was always an altar boy, I have had my fair share of shameful episodes, including the night I was helping my buddy to celebrate his birthday. We were drinking the French drink, Pernod. I finally awoke the next day inside my car, into the blazing sun in my yard. The key to the ignition was still turned to the on position, but my battery had completely run down. I can’t even begin to describe how my mouth tasted, just that I was so thirsty. Pernod makes you want to drink lots of water, and with every drink of water you seem to get drunk all over again. I was probably legally drunk for a week.

That was the last time I came anywhere near to being over the limit. I was surely suffering from the effects of alcohol poison in my system. Mainly I was terrified that I may have killed someone without even being aware as the car did suffer a bashing; and when it turned out that I had not harmed anyone, I was simply ashamed of myself.

There can be a funny side to drunkenness. Dudley Moore made his drunk famous in “Arthur”. Here’s what’s not so funny: The World Health Organisation has reported that more than 55,000 people between the ages of 15-29 die each year within Europe as a direct result of excessive alcohol, whether in accidents, suicides, murders, or alcohol poisoning.

England and Wales report that some 33,000 lives are lost annually from this preventable cause; and Scotland are concerned because girls outnumber the boys who are brought into the Accident and Emergency due to too much alcohol.

In Ireland the cost to every man, woman, and child from alcohol abuse amounts to 600 euros annually. The country with the greatest problem of all is Russia. Recently President Putin highlighted the seriousness of his country’s dilemma by acknowledging that each year approximately 42,000 people are killed or disabled directly by binge drinking.

What makes these figures hard to accept is that drinking in moderation is usually a social pastime, something we do for pleasant effect. The most devastating affect is in the college and university dormitories of the world where young people are sent to gain further education. For parents to have to come collect their dead student because he or she died from ignorance of the deadly effect of taking too much of a “good” thing is particularly ironic.

So, my only advice is, know your limits and stick by them. And one more thing: go to the internet and look up “alcohol poisoning” and learn to recognize it in your friends, and what to do in such cases. That information could actually save your own life, if you share it with a friend.

The Undertaker’s Cocktail : DRINK, DRUGS, DRIVE



Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

The Telephone Call in the Still Small Hours of the Morning!

Published May 6th, 2007

Candidly, I write this column in solidarity with all you parents of teenaged children who are growing up in the permissive society of Spain, or for that matter anywhere in Europe. Just in case you thought that you were alone in trying to cope with a lifestyle where your children expect to go out late at night, and to stay out until 10am the next day, let me assure you that you are not alone. All throughout the land there are dim lights turned on in solitary rooms as anxious parents wait up, unable to sleep.

My generation were expected to be in the house by no later than 11 o’clock at night. Later than that and don’t bother coming home, ever again. I always felt hard done by, as did all my mates as we were certain that all the action started after eleven. And it did, because the next day you got a blow-by-blow account from the older guys. (I'm sure they made up half of it.)

We felt that our fathers, and especially our mothers were too hard on us. They did not allow us any freedom, and they did not trust us any further than they could see us. Of course they were right, but we didn’t appreciate it at the time. We were sixteen and fully grown men, or so we thought.

What we did not understand was that we had to survive the growing-up process. We are like the turtles, in that not all who break through their shells and make it to the surface of the sand get to make it to the water. Of the ones who make it to the water, not all make it across the ocean, and of those that do, not all the females will make it back to the beach to lay new eggs. Relate this to the world of people and it becomes clear that one only gets to celebrate one’s seventieth birthday as a result of a lot of very good luck, a guardian angel who works overtime, and by making a lot of good decisions. Teenagers don’t always make good and sound decisions that are in their own best interests.

The permissive society makes it very hard for both parent and child, and a permissive society with rising expectations is worse. It is difficult for the parent who tries to keep their child under strict control, and it is also very hard for the child’s social stature among their peers. The child who is overly-protected is treated as a geek and teased unmercifully. Yet, it’s wrong that young people are free to roam the streets all night. Should something dire happen to your son or daughter in the wee small hours, and you are not expecting them home until 10am, how will you know that something is amiss?

Recently, one parent received a call from the emergency ward of a hospital to say that his son had been brought in by ambulance, having been found in an intoxicated and collapsed state. Following a urine test it was determined that the intoxication and poisoning was due to alcohol only. Following a stomach pump and several hours on a drip father and son were allowed to go home. If you must receive such a call, this is as good as it gets. However, having said that, acute alcohol poisoning can and does kill.

This tale does, however, have a kicker. The child’s wallet had been lost or stolen, and he lay for several hours, firstly in a car park in the open air with cars driving around, and later, he lay in that hospital bed as a “Patient Unknown” person. Were this a different circumstance and he had died, how would his parents have found him? By calling the hospital and giving his name, and asking whether he had been admitted would most likely have brought forth the response, “no one here by that name.”

On one Saturday night in Valencia at a bottle party, fourteen young people ended up in emergency as a result of being attacked and stabbed by a roving gang of neo-nazis. I wonder how and when their parents were informed.

So, here’s a suggestion to all you worried parents: If your son or daughter insists on being out till the very early hours of the morning, it will help if they would carry some form of alternative identification with your contact details. Normally all our ID is in our wallets. Once that is gone, unless we have a friend to give our details we become anonymous. Perhaps something as simple as a wristband or pendant, or for the boys the army-style “dog tags” would do. If you are in Torrevieja there is a static market that borders the parking lot at the port. Look for stall 126, and Michael, a very helpful young man will engrave your name and home telephone number on such identification.

It perhaps does not bear thinking about, but I’m certain that there are statistics that tell of the number of people who get taken to emergency as unknown patients, and worse, as corpses every day in the large cities of Europe. At least here in Spain we all normally have some form of identification with us. Apparently, the average person will have at least two forms of picture ID, a driving license and resident’s card. It’s sobering to think that in the U.K. most people walk around every day without one single piece of required ID.

Parents! Do you know where your children are tonight?

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

El Botellón (Bring Your Own Bottle Party)

Published April 29th, 2007
Some things are the same the entire world over for young people. They need the company of friends to hang out with and to experiment and swap stories. If I were here in Spain during my early years I would have been subjected to the Franco regime. That probably would not have been an awful lot of fun for me. Having said that, my upbringing was somewhat conservative. It was idyllic, being on a semi-tropical island, but it was a quiet and a very safe period in my life.

Fast forward to today’s Spain and compare with the years prior to 1975, the year of the death of Generalissimo Franco, “El Caudillo”. Young people were subject to strict curfew, and courtships were conducted in the home with “la abuela”, the grandmother, sat over in the corner to keep things from getting too hot.

Now, we have young girls leaving home at 1 am to go to the disco, where they will remain, supposedly until 7am, without supervision. These clubs open at such an ungodly hour, some of them seven days a week. Who on earth are their customers? Some will be night workers who finish work in restaurants around midnight as bartenders, waiters and chefs, etc. What about all those other patrons, who are they, these night people?. As most of us sleep there is a whole other world pulsating and throbbing to its own timetable and routine.

The country finds itself in the grip of a new phenomenon that is partly driven by young people who simply want to get together and party, but it is also fuelled by a determined streak of civil disobedience. The street and park bottle party is outlawed, therefore it is exactly the thing today’s youth want to do. As my son puts it, “if we can’t do something that we would really like to do, then we want to do it even more, to the point of obsession.”

The main problem with the Bring Your Own Bottle party is few of the participants have a plan of what to do after the party. The idea is to meet up in some location with a large enough space to park lots of cars, then open up the boots and those become instant bars. The car’s all have to have pumped-up super sound systems and that leads to competing mini discos.

Just outside Valencia city in the area of Paterna, is Herón City, a large sprawling leisure centre. The car park has been hijacked by the Botellón every Saturday night where serious drinking to “get-wasted” goes on. The law forbids holding these bottle parties in the street, but as the car park is private property the police are prevented from going in and breaking it up in the absence of complaints. Perhaps they do not even have the will to do so as it would probably mean a riot would break out and the police would have to hurt a lot of otherwise good-natured kids in the process.

The management of Herón City are faced with a difficult decision: On the one hand they make no money from such events. In fact the mess is left for them to clean up. However, these kids do most probably patronize the movie theatres and bars and restaurants when they are not doing the Saturday night thing, so the management seem to be prepared to turn a blind eye.

I have a great concern as to what happens when it’s all over. Presumably the car owner moves from the boot of the car to the driver’s seat, and in a full state of intoxication he or she drives home. Perhaps they think that they have put the car on auto-pilot and that will keep them, and everyone else safe. Well, it doesn’t work like that!

I can only hope that there are police checkpoints to test for alcohol levels as those young people are leaving the private space and entering the public road. I may be Scrooge-like in hoping that cars and licenses get taken away from offenders who have to then attend driver’s re-education classes, but one sure way to pump up the death rate on our roads is to ignore what is going on and let the kids have their fatal fun. They can still have their Botellón on Herón City property if that is allowed, they simply have to arrange for someone to drive who is sober enough to do so.

If I were young again I confess that the scene would have great appeal. I most probably would be a regular, and I probably would have the biggest, baddest sound system on the lot. But I also hope that I would have the commonsense not to drink myself, or if I did that I had a geeky non-drinking mate with a drivers license who I could trust to get me and my car home without a scratch.

That’s if I were young again. Instead I have a Volvo and a mortgage and I’m in bed before the bewitching hour lest I turn into a pumpkin.

Drive, Drink, Drugs, equals Suicide

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Driving, USA

Published April 22nd, 2007

The attitude of the Americans towards the car is unlike that of any other country in the world. Life is driving! Driving is life! Distances are so vast that to be able to get anywhere you need a car. Of course, there is public transport, but Americans, as has been said many times before, have a love affair with the car.

There was a time when it was fashionable to change your car every year, and still, there are people and companies who would rather lease than buy outright just so they can change the car after a year.

Being a relatively young country, America was able to shape the country to suit modern times. There, the car is king. Cities are built with the car in mind. Here in Europe, the car is an after thought. Here we have to thread our way through narrow lanes that were not designed for motorised traffic, and certainly not of the volume and size required by modern day usage.

There, streets are wide, with flyovers and freeways and spaghetti junctions. For the average European going to the USA for the first time, it really is good common sense to gather as much information beforehand about driving in that country. That rule is good for any country, but particularly so for the United States.

The first thing to know is that American society is the most litigious in the world. There you get sued for just about anything and everything, and this is particularly so in the world of motoring. Anything that goes wrong is not without blame. There are no genuine accidents, someone is at fault and can be sued. There are such things as nuisance suits, where someone will bring a frivolous action that will probably cost at least $5,000 to make it go away. For many people and their lawyers, this is an art form.

Suggestion number One!

You are driving your rental car when you come to a place, such as a sports arena,
where an event has just ended and the street is crowded with people. Do you continue driving at a snail’s pace, or do you stop the car and get out. A cautious American would stop the car, get out from behind the wheel, and if alone he would lock the doors. That way no one can bring a suit alleging that they had been hit by the moving car. There are people who would hold out their arm, or to really push up the price of the settlement they would even let you drive over their foot so that your moving car touches them or leaves evidence on their shoe. (That’s a major settlement, or as some people put it, “it’s payday!”) Otherwise, in “he said-he said” cases it will cost money to simply make the nuisance go away.

Caution number Two:

America is one of the most insular countries in the world. Countless Americans are born and die there without ever stepping foot outside its borders, or even without considering the news from other countries. There are people who think that the Far East is New York. If you fly to a destination that is not one of the main gateways beware when renting a car. I had the experience of flying to a small airport in Virginia that doesn’t see a lot of foreign tourists, so when renting me a car they assumed that I would have my own car insurance in America that covered the car hire. Off I went driving around in a car for which I was completely uninsured. Fortunately the next day, before setting out I reviewed the paperwork and that’s when I realised the mistake. It was twenty-four hours later, more than enough time for me to have become bankrupt.

So, it’s best to hire from companies that regularly serve foreign visitors, and check and double – check the paperwork before leaving the hire company. Ask questions. Lots and lots of questions.

Caution Number Three:

This is appropriate for any country, especially here in Spain, but car theft must always be uppermost in our minds. When you leave your car parked, it would be a good thing to have a reasonable chance of finding it where you left it when you return. To increase the odds of that happening a good steering wheel lock could make all the difference. Car theft is an activity that ideally, from the viewpoint of the thief, should take less than sixty seconds. A car with a good additional lock on the steering wheel that’s hard to defeat will usually be left alone. The driver is not cooperating so the thief picks a car and a more cooperative owner.

Suggestion: Have your own lock to use to safeguard the hire car. Losing your car from outside your own home is inconvenient enough. If you’re thousands of kilometres away the problem is that much worse.

There are useful books on the subject of Driving in America, or Driving in the USA that presumably can be purchased on-line. The chances that your motoring holiday in America will be successful are greatly enhanced by the more knowledge you have. For instance, America is made up of separate States that almost function as Europe does with its separate countries. Not everything is uniform throughout, so if you are going to hire your car in New York and drive to California and leave it there, you need to have a pretty good idea of what you are likely going to encounter over the ten States involved. This includes not only the geography but also the different laws and customs.

Finally, it almost goes without saying that you need a good and reliable partner to help you out of those tough jams that seems to be waiting around every corner. The partner I have in mind is the AAA (Automoblie Association of America).

We will return to this subject at some time in the future, but for now, Good Luck!

Motorcyclist!

Wear a lime-green reflective jacket, both day and night. “Be seen to be Safe!”

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Cyclists are Motorists Too

Published April 15th, 2007

The highway code states that cycles, auto cycles and motorcycles are more fragile, vulnerable and less visible due to their size. I also add that riders do not have any protection for their bodies, except a good set of leathers in the case of motorcyclists. Consequently a collision with a car/truck tends to assure catastrophic injuries. So, what are the rules when encountering someone on a two-wheeled vehicle?

Bicycles:

Firstly, when overtaking a cyclist of whatever description outside of town limits, they must be given a width separation of at least 1.50 meters. This normally would require a passing car or truck to completely cross over into the next lane.

This group deserves extra special consideration. They are particularly unstable, slow, and can get lost in the jumble of traffic. Their riders often squeeze along the inside of traffic queues making the opening of a passenger door somewhat subject to surprise. Bicycles are used for main transport, casual genteel exercise, and for intense racing, which is a serious national sport throughout Europe.

If we all cast our minds back we probably have a fond memory of learning to ride ourselves, or if we can’t remember back that far, we probably had a hand in helping our children and grandchildren to ride for the first time on their own. For this reason we need to be ever careful when driving through neighbourhoods, especially our own, to be aware that someone’s child may be just around the next corner on the wrong side of the road proceeding the wrong way on a one-way street.

Out in the country there are the week-end riding clubs to be concerned about. This is supposed to be a healthy form of recreation/sport. Clubs routinely cover a couple hundred kilometres over the weekend and usually ride in large groups in very colourful suits. Alas, there have been one too many cyclists to have lost their lives, or who are suffering debilitating injuries because a car approached from behind from around a corner at 100 km/h, which was the legal speed only to find a cyclists right there in his face practically standing still even though travelling at 20km/h.

More authorities are providing purpose built cycle paths, particularly in the more popular destinations, but motorists should remember to be vigilant for this very welcome type of road user.

Motorcycles:

This class of transport covers anything from 50 c.c. all the way to the Honda Goldwing 2000, a particular favourite of mine. But, this is also a class that car/truck drivers love to hate, even if we car drivers are part-time motorcyclists ourselves. The reason tends to be that riding a motorcycle appeals to the outlaw in us. Something about the fresh air in one’s face and one’s hair flying in the breeze. I know, there’s a helmet law. It’s interesting to see young people riding around with their helmets hung over their arm. Evidently they read the law to say that they must not operate a motorcycle without a helmet. (Doesn’t say you have to actually wear it on your head. Or does it?).

But youthful exuberance and testosterone, and the need to be noticed can be a nuisance or deadly cocktail. We see them dodging in and out among the cages (cars), sometimes with a terrified passenger hanging on for dear life as the rider tries to impress. He could really impress us all by a show of careful, safe riding. Alas, we don’t think like that when we are indestructible.

Mopeds

I have saved this group for last because this is where most of us entered the world of motorised transport. In a spectacular form of roads mismanagement that exists in many countries the system provides our sons and daughters with a permit to ride at a very early age, but there is virtually no real preparation for these young people to deal with traffic. Sure they may indeed be able to control the bike, but as to what to expect from other road users they haven’t a clue.

We see them riding along the autovia on the inside of the hard shoulder, but there are exits and entrances to cross and cars travelling at 120km/h to dodge.

Parents, when your child goes out under these conditions and returns home safely, hug them and be grateful. Meanwhile, what is needed in every major city are specialist training centres for our little lambs so that they do not go to the slaughter. It would also be extremely useful for motorcyclists to always wear a reflective "Gerry Jacket" vest, both day or night. This way, others will more likely see them coming.

Death on the roads? It does not have to end like that!
Don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Don't Panic! Yet!

Published April 8th, 2007

It was a Friday evening and I had collected my wife from her workplace in a town north of Valencia city. We were joining the A-7 for the trip to our home located twenty minutes inland of the city. Our son was returning home from a skiing trip the next day so we were looking forward to seeing him. The A-7 is always heavily travelled by trucks, but at that particular moment traffic was especially dense. Suddenly there opened a gap in the flow of trucks that allowed me to get on the motorway without causing danger to anyone, and so I did.

Once in the flow I was able to pull out into the left hand lane of the two-lane highway to get up to my legal speed of 120km/h. I had reached that speed when suddenly, and without any warning my engine simply quit. There we were surrounded by traffic, a long line of trucks on my right, cars and vans in front and behind us, all moving along at 120km/h, and we had been turned into a glider. Ever wonder what could have been the cause of those massive pile-ups that involve so much death and destruction on a highway with traffic all going in one direction?

What I did next would make the difference between life and death for ourselves and probably a lot of other people as well. What I didn’t do was panic. In fact I have never had such clarity of thought, not before or since the incident. Had I not got it exactly right I would not be here to recount this story.

It took seemingly an eternity for me to realize what was happening and to assess the situation as my mind could not accept that the car’s engine had shut down of its own accord, and in such a dangerous place. But there we were in the fast lane surrounded by all that traffic and we had to get across the inside traffic flow and onto the hard shoulder breakdown lane.

First step, activate the hazard flashers. The effect of that was all the traffic behind me immediately fell back. Secondly, indicate that we urgently needed to get to the right hand lane, and thirdly, sound the horn to be sure we had everybody’s attention.

I didn’t have to worry about the traffic in my lane ahead of us. They went on their way. I did have to work with the line of trucks to our right. There was a very long truck to our immediate right blocking our crossover. By sounding the horn I had got his attention and we made eye contact. Go! Go! Go! I signed. This man, who is the hero of this piece asked no questions. He simply sounded his great claxon and poured on the power.

And trucks ahead of him got the message and did the same thing. It seemed to take ages, but slowly he began to pull away from us.

We were losing momentum, but the fact that this was a flat stretch helped. As he inched ahead of us I began to pull across behind him, and as he saw this he did something that was a lifesaving move. He pulled sharply to the left to exchange lanes with us. This almost was our undoing as the suction effect of the great truck nearly pulled us into the rear, but I reacted quickly enough by softly braking to hold back. That opened up a huge hole for us. Now we could see what was ahead and we could pick a place to stop safely, which we did. What a hero that guy was!

As the gallery of traffic from behind who had witnessed the drama caught up and passed us there was much tooting of horns as in, “well done, and thank’s for not making problems for us!”

That’s when I completely went to pieces.

The natural instinct is to panic when something of this type happens, but the fact is, when we are in control of a vehicle, large or small, we are not allowed the luxury of panicking.

Death on the road? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Please don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Big Boys Toys

Published April 1st, 2007

There are a number of fully grown men who rise every working day with a smile on their faces, and they leave their homes in the dark in great expectation, eager to get back to work. They are those men who spend each day working with, or perhaps playing with is more appropriate, some of the seriously mega-trucks and machinery there is. These men are road builders, dam builders, and constructors of major buildings.

It’s difficult to get anything more than a grunt from one of those guys when one talks of job satisfaction and enjoyment. That is the real giveaway. They don’t want to admit that they are so happy in their work that they would happily pay the company to come to work, if that were economically sensible.

Ever give a thought as to what went into the making of that smooth ribbon of road that is such a joy to drive on? Probably not! Why should you, there are so many other things vying for your attention. As I write this there is so much road works in progress throughout Spain, I decided to take a day to go out and take stock of what it takes to put down a super highway.

Firstly, it is one of the dirtiest jobs a man could ever love. There’s white dust, light brown dust, dark brown and red dust It’s everywhere and is a constant. The first piece of indispensable equipment is the water tanker whose job it is to drive over the site constantly spraying a fine mist of water in a vain effort to keep dust to a minimum. This is as much for the workmen as it is for the general public.

Currently, the CV-35, otherwise known as the Autopista de Ademuz is undergoing some major work. Essentially what is being done is to add another lane to the existing two lanes each direction that go from Valencia City out to Lliria and beyond. The road will by-pass Casinos and eventually link up with the A-3 Madrid - Valencia road. Along the way, a new hospital is being built to serve Lliria and the region. Also rumoured will be a leisure centre that will boast, among other facilities an indoor ski slope to operate all year round.

Once all the preliminary work has been done, such as deciding where the new road will go, and future needs factored in, then the heavy earth moving equipment moves in. I pity those people who find the road moving closer to their road front homes. The array of equipment involved is quite astonishing, as is the skill on show to properly handle each piece. This may be a bit monotonous, but you will no doubt be surprised by the list of equipment: Bulldozers, scrapers, rippers and trenchers, backhoe loaders, crawler tractors, ditchers, multi-terrain loaders, Hydraulic excavators, forest machines, Cold planers, Pipe layers, graders and levellers, skid steer loaders, track loaders, Bobcats, underground mining equipment for through-mountain passes, wheel dozers, wheel excavators, pile drivers, concrete delivery trucks, compactors and tamping equipment, soil stabilizers, articulated trucks of ten, sixteen and twenty wheelers, bucket lifts, asphalt paving equipment, just to name a few, and, my favourite, the off-road giant dumpster trucks. Oh! What I would give to be able to wheel one of those things around all day.

Most of the equipment I have noted is made by Caterpillar, and their largest model 797 Off -Highway super truck is so huge that if I parked my Volvo saloon car alongside one of its wheels, the top of my car would not even reach half the height of the wheel. Its maximum capacity transports 327 metric tons of earth at one time. I have no idea what to compare that with except to imagine an army of men with buckets as far as the eye could see to do the equivalent.

As a child I played with toy equipment of this nature. I spent so many enjoyable hours either on my own, or better yet with a friend as we made little roads and cleared spaces for this or that. I think that the best that we as males can do is grow into a grown-up version of our childhood playthings, if we are lucky. If the truth be told, that’s why we so hope for our children to give us grand children. Then, we get to play with trains and giant dumpster trucks again without being thought senile.

Please don’t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

The Mindset of the Spanish Road

The mindset of a particular country’s road system is shaped from traditions, customs, culture, social integration, and the general outlook of the citizenry as to who they think they are. For instance, in the United States this changes from State to State, the extreme being Los Angeles where there exists an unrequited love affair between owners and their cars. But Los Angeles went through a period when to offend another driver would be responded to by shots fired on the highway. (Too many movies!). Conversely, driving in England still involves extending road courtesy. However, English roads also report some of the worst cases of road rage. The least little thing is likely to send a perfectly normal man off like a rocket. (It´s usually the men.)

I suppose the transition of other E.U. nationals to Spain need not be quite as dramatic as those of us who are accustomed to driving on the left. A good time to regularise the situation, so that all of Europe drives on the right would probably be when the U.K. finally swops the Pound for the Euro. I am convinced it is possible to do this after a suitable period of notice and education. The whole country could simply come to a halt at say, 2 a.m. the day of the change to daylight saving time, and all together very carefully switch from left to right. Imagine!

For a newcomer to Spain’s roads it is essential to know that here impatience is king. Virtually no one is prepared to wait and give the driver trying to complete a manoeuvre the time to do so. If you are a nano-second too slow in getting going once the light turns green, expect the horns to blow. Don’t take it personally; it’s just the way it is. Perhaps it’s all that 150 proof caffeine in the coffee.

If you overtake but don’t pull back in to the right quickly enough we will pass you on the right. Always be sure that it is safe to pull into the right hand lane.

The speed limit on the Autopista seems to be the limit of how fast our car can go. I have seen grown men who are probably someone’s husband, grandfather, great-grandfather, etc. driving their high-powered car at 250 km/h down the left lane, and are genuinely surprised to catch up with traffic circulating at 120km/h. At that point they are flashing their lights and blowing their horns demanding everybody else should get out of their way. When are these people going to grow up? Probably never, because they’ll be dead.

Spain, like the rest of the world condemns driving while under the influence of drink or drugs. However, here you can fill up with gas and take a drink at the conveniently located bar on the forecourt at many service stations. Talk about mixed signs.

The custom of signalling to each other our intentions has not yet quite caught on here. Especially at roundabouts where we all have to play the guessing game. Just like Russian Roulette.

Stop signs and traffic lights seem to be mere suggestions. The light could be as red as it can get and still we continue on. Meanwhile, the pedestrian light turns red on the cross-street and vehicles start forward. Broadside collisions occur with monotonous regularity to nobody’s surprise. (Please note I refuse to call these accidents).

We don’t like to go through the whole cycle of correcting our mistakes, so if we realise we are taking the wrong exit we are very likely to make a sudden swing back to the left to rejoin the road. On the other hand if we are passing our exit we may abruptly swing right to suddenly join other vehicles on the exit road. “Sorry, coming through”, seems to be the order of the day.

Mothers out for a stroll seem to think nothing of suddenly pushing the stroller into the path of oncoming traffic. There have inevitably been collisions resulting in the death of the infant. Here’s my suggestion: when crossing the road turn the stroller around so that you pull it rather than push it. If everybody would follow this simple suggestion we would never have to ever hear about another incident of this sort that upsets everyone.

Road management also falls under my spotlight. Road works is an ongoing thing as the country upgrades its system. However, where the old road is allowed to stay in place as a secondary road the old signs need to be reviewed and changed accordingly. Have you ever been along a road approaching a junction where the speed signs advise 70-60-50-40-70? And this just as you reach the roundabout.

But some things cross over from country to country. I was surprised to find here in Spain motorcyclists dipping in and out between the cars and creating their own lanes, just like in London and my own country of Bermuda. And then there are those car drivers who simply must pass everybody, one car at a time only to end up at the same set of traffic lights with all the cars they passed. Kind of makes you want to get out of your car, knock on his window to ask ,“What in heaven’s name was that all about?”

Finally, in a country where we have young men who like to test their macho spirit by facing down charging bulls, it is inevitable that some of that spirit crosses over from the bullring to the street. Being young in charge of all that testosterone and a car is a dynamite formula in any country, but when we have young men as fearless as there are in this country, perhaps we should be afraid. Perhaps we should be very afraid!

Death on the roads? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Please don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

The Will of the People

“How about one for the road?”
“Sure, everybody does it! Why Not?”

Everybody drinks wine or beer with their meal. Why not me? At vacation time everybody packs the entire family in the car and takes to the road for long journeys. Sure, as the driver he drives a little too fast, but everybody does it. Why not him? The menu del dia includes a bottle of wine, or a bottle of beer. It’s free, why not drink it? Everybody overtakes everybody else at the first possible moment even if it is not absolutely safe to do so because of the need to be in front. We all do it! It’s simply the custom.

In brief these are some of the outlines of Spain’s problems on the roads. We really should not be surprised that our death toll is as appalling as it is. What else should we expect? It’s custom that we start the day very early in the morning with a coffee and brandy. Then at the mid-morning break we see workmen who are engaged in working at heights on buildings having a litre bottle of beer with their bocadillio. No wonder they fall off the damn building.

Then there is the afore-mentioned wine or beer with lunch. Late afternoon brings a cortado (a short, very thick coffee with a slug of scotch), and at night we need a little something to help us relax as well. We do all this and we drive entirely too fast.

This is the Will of the People as it presently stands. We are accepting of the high death rate and we are seemingly even happy to help keep the numbers high.

Over the Easter period in 2005 the country recorded 105 deaths. Authorities in 2006 engaged in a campaign which I think was intended to raise awareness in an effort to experience a significant fall in the numbers, but at times I wondered. Many people received calls from the Department of Traffic asking whether they intended driving over Easter, and if so, did they intend to die. It was almost like saying “come on, we can do better than last year. Get out there and let's get those number up!” Of course that’s not what the authorities meant but they must be discouraged to see the end result turn out to be 108 in 2006. Obviously a lot of people must have interpreted the message as “Try Harder” to die.

So how can The Will of the People make a difference to this distressing situation? For the answer to that question look no further than our next door neighbour, France. In 2002 France took up the challenge of turning around the carnage on their roads, and they did this by getting on board the cooperation of the people. Road users had to be convinced that only they were responsible for the way that things were, and that their behaviour was simply unacceptable. They had to see that irresponsible action on their part had consequences. In certain cases they had to have their faces rubbed in the consequences of their own acts. Part of the Easter statistics involved a young boy of 18, driving the family car (without a license) and he allegedly killed five people through an action that he took. One of those killed was his mother. Of course he can hardly avoid facing that, but he also needs to be brought face-to-face with the grieving of the other four families and their life sentence of loss. He must never be allowed to put that all behind him. Instead, I personally think that the only way in which he can do penitence is to become a leading advocate for safe driving.

Five years from now I want to attend one of his without-fee lectures and I want him to explain to me how that event, for which he is entirely responsible has affected his life. And I want to see him impress upon his audience that no-one else can do the driving for them. It all depends upon their will to be good motorists.

French motorists accepted that it was time to change their ways. Like Spain alcohol is cheap and readily available there, and it had been an integral part of the French custom to drink and drive too fast. But five years on and French deaths from road accidents have dropped by a whopping 32%. If Spain can achieve that during 2007 the country would not have to attend 1,056 funerals. There would be 1,056 fewer reasons for grief. That many people will live their lives and contribute to their families and their communities. And all those young people that we lose represent lost potential. Among them how many would have actually changed the world in some earth shattering way for the good? We’ll never know. What we do know is that they didn’t have to die on the roads. It is not written anywhere that it’s the law that 3,300 people have to die on Spain’s roads this year. It’s just that we choose to make it that way.

So! It’s a matter of Will Power and Won’t Power “I will help to change the bad statistics and I won’t become a part of the bad numbers”. Here’s what you can personally do to make a positive difference:

Step One! Choose to live by surviving your driving experience, and do it for those who love and need you.

Step Two! Exercise the discipline and patience necessary to avoid overtaking on two-way road systems. Take my word for it, this will be very difficult, but it does get better over time. Let the others pass if they want to. Set the example and your reward will be when you see others following your lead.

Step Three! When you go out in the evening as a couple, whomever will be responsible for driving home stays sober. This will really test you, but the one time that you get pulled over and breathalysed and are found to be 0.00 you will become a believer.

My personal testimony is that I regard my license as so important that I won’t even have that one drink, because I know that it will tell me it’s perfectly alright to have another. I now have friends who would not give me a drink if I beg them if they know I’m driving, and there are those who are starting to follow my example.

I do admit however, it is difficult to stay on the straight and narrow, but I do like myself a whole lot better now than when I had to put the car on automatic pilot to get me home. When it’s the Will of the People anything we set our collective minds to can be achieved.

Cyclists of all sorts, and pedestrians using roads without sidewalks, day and night, please wear a lime-green reflective vest. “Be Seen to be Safe!”

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Women Drivers

As I sat in the insurance office giving my particulars in applying for insurance cover, the lady clerk said to me, “women drivers are considered to be superior drivers in Spain. They don´t cause insurance companies many problems so they get a much better rate than men”. She could not suppress a hint of a smile when she said this, or could it have even been pride?

I didn´t think too much about it at the time but it soon became clear to me where that was coming from. Principally, it’s not that women are such superior technical drivers, it’s just that men, especially young men are so incredibly deliberately bad. Except for the young girls who want to be as bad as the boys. They are super dangerous as they have something extra to prove.

Saddam Hussein didn´t even have anything in his deadly arsenal as the maxi deadly combination of testosterone and gasoline. So, our sons grown up and become eighteen, and we give them a key to a car or motorcycle and off they go, saying “I´ll be good Mom and Dad, honest I will!” The only thing that we can do that would be worse would be to give them the keys to a tank and set them free.

So, what are the most serious differences between men and women drivers in Spain that lead Spanish insurers to make such a distinction? It’s not that one sex insists on talking on the mobile while driving and the other doesn’t. It cannot even be said that women talk more than men. One of my best friends, a man insists on long conversations on the mobile. He also never stops talking to his passengers, even those in the rear seats. He even turns his head as far to the back to try to look his passengers in the face. He seems to think he’s at home in his living room.

While following a car recently the male driver was evidently involved in an animated conversation on his mobile. He held the phone to his ear with his left hand, and with his right hand he was making constant wild gestures. Even to today I have no idea how he was controlling the steering wheel.

I think that the single greatest difference can be summed up in one word: Machismo! That nutty drive that makes a man go stand in front of a raging bull that is intent on killing him. When he takes that same mind-set onto the road he becomes a serious liability to us all. Women simply don’t do that. Oh sure, I have seen girls mix in the crowd that tease a bull, but sensibly they tend to stay toward the rear.

Women drivers are generally not as aggressive as men. They can be assertive, as one must be, otherwise other traffic will drive all over you, but that’s different. That’s being constructively assertive. It’s us men who are likely to be the culprits who do things out of simple impatience. We overtake along dangerously inadequate stretches of road, and in the face of on-coming traffic. We are more likely to be the ones to drive while impaired through drink. Booze tells us that of course we can have another drink. The last one was just fine, so one for the road will be no problem.

It is booze that makes some of us think that we can sing, so under the influence we think that we can do anything. Women become over the limit faster than men. Consider this: if a woman weighs between 50 to 60 kilograms, and she takes one beer or glass of wine on an empty stomach, one hour later, when the effects of the alcohol is at its most potent, she will likely register 0.5 grams of alcohol per litre of blood. If she has held her Spanish license less than two years she will be over the limit of 0.3 grams of alcohol per litre of blood.

Although women are often found to be driving under the influence, their behaviour while impaired tends to be nearly more subdued than men. It still is dangerous, but a woman who realises she is impaired will likely take to driving very slowly, as though stepping on eggshells. A man, on the other hand turns into a Michael Schumacher out on the race-track.

I have come across several incidents of road rage, but I have yet to observe one that involved two women. Men tend to take the slightest thing as some kind of challenge to our manhood.

It simply is not true to say that women cannot read maps. My wife is a superior map reader. She is afflicted however, with one problem. She has two lefts. She will read the map the correct way up, and she will say take the next left turn. As I do so she yells “what are you doing?” I´m taking the next left like you said. Indicating right she says it’ over there. I am personally impossible at reading maps in a moving car. I cannot read any written material except the signs and the billboards without getting motion sickness.

One thing that a woman will do that a man will never be caught doing is to adjust her makeup while stopped at a red light. Now that we will not do!

Death on the Roads? It does not have to end like that!

Don´t overtake on two-way roads systems. Save your life for the ones who love you.

Accidents: How they happen-How to prevent Them (Part B)

In my last column I described how I had avoided the grief and anguish that would have arisen from some potential accidents because of the use of anticipation. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of developing one’s radar by scanning the road ahead for “red flags” and taking appropriate action. A simple example: while driving my car along the autovia I came upon a young person riding a moped up ahead. He was riding within the breakdown lane at a maximum 45 km/h. I’m driving at 120 km/h. He is approaching my exit lane. If he crosses over the exit just as I turn off there will be a death on the road.

Solution: I begin to slow so that he can cross the exit before I get to it, and I do this even if I have to use my hazard flashers to hold back the traffic behind me. In doing so I am avoiding the accident at all costs without the possibility of causing another, and I also keep in mind that the rider is someone’s son or daughter and I do my part for them to arrive home safely. No excuses! No tears!

So let’s look at some other examples of what would have been:

(1) On several occasions, I have had the priority on roundabouts when approaching cars have entered the circle without giving way to me. Fortunately, I always watch for this as older residents sometimes still think that if they are approaching me from my right, they have priority. (Normal rules of the road in Spain state that it is this traffic that has priority unless otherwise advised.) At roundabouts the rule is reversed. There are signs at all traffic circles advising entering traffic to give way to traffic within the circle, but sometimes that fails to register. So I have saved myself at least three broadside collisions by avoiding the accident at all costs. All that I did was look for the tell-tale signs that the side approaching car was going to stop. That is indicated to me by the front dipping as the brakes are applied. No dip, he's not going to stop, so I have to hold back. Again, anticipation.

(2) When travelling through residential neighbourhoods I anticipate there will be children playing in the streets and riding their bikes. Cross streets are especially dangerous, not only because of cars that come cruising through without stopping at their stop signs, but also children generally have no road sense. One day I was crossing through streets where I had priority. I was stopping at every crossing when suddenly a boy appeared directly in front of me on his bike, and right behind him came another. Thankfully I was virtually stopped at the time. Had I not been the boys would surely have suffered injury. Probably not too serious, but I sure would not have wanted to have heard the anguish of their parents. (In Spanish!)

(3) Now, here are some “accidents” that occurred that simply need not have:

(a) During the past five years I have come upon so many cars turned over in the ditch along an absolutely straight road as to cause me to look into how these happen. I got lucky one night as I was the first person on the scene of one that had happened just outside the city limits of Torrevieja. As I am legally required to stop to give assistance I did. Thankfully there were no apparent injuries but police and ambulance attended. While we were waiting I asked the driver, a young Spaniard, what had happened. He replied as follows and confirmed my suspicions:

He had a companion to whom he had turned his head to the right to ask her a question, and the next thing he knew the world turned upside down.

The act of turning one’s head beyond a certain point has the effect of turning the opposite hand that is holding the steering wheel in the direction that one is looking. Maybe only slightly, but too often that is all that is needed.

Moral of the story: keep your eyes on the road while talking to passengers. Resist the urge to look ‘em in the eye.

Recently, while driving the N-332 ( a notorious National road), I was keeping an eye on the car immediately ahead of me as well as looking forward when I saw a situation developing that was sure to be a collision in the making. I immediately turned on my hazards and slowed, this time keeping a keen eye on the car behind to be sure he got the message. The three cars ahead were not so lucky as they ended up as part of a domino effect.

So this was about staying alert to not only what’s happening in the immediate area but also avoiding surprises ahead.

So, it will be seen that the key to avoidance of collisions is anticipation and staying alert. The ability to think ahead forms a great part of the science of driving.

Death on the roads? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael