Blog Archive

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Believe it or Not!


Believe it or Not-Souped up Wheelchairs


Some drivers recently got the shock of their lives when an elderly, one-armed, no-legged man in a wheelchair overtook them on the main carriageway in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on the 28th May, 2010. His actual speed was not known but estimates put it at more than 80 kph. The man had taken the idea of an electric powered wheelchair and substituted a gasoline-powered motor on to it, and had souped that up so that it would propel him along at very fast speeds. He had made it a three-wheeler with handlebars to control the direction and bicycle-type brakes. The acceleration was provided by the same type of mechanism as a motorcycle.

He was stopped and charged by police for driving a motorized vehicle of an unknown type without permission. He said that he only wanted to try out his new invention.

This is what can happen when you are badly disabled and confined to your wheelchair all hours of the day. You become bored out of your mind and sometimes you might be tempted to engage in suicidal activities.

I tried to look up this particular man’s adventures on line, and to my absolute amazement I found that he is not the only person to tinker with his wheelchair. A guy named Jeff has got his electric chair to get up to 30 mph. He was giving a demonstration on the very quiet street where he lived in the suburbs, but didn’t stop at the stop sign.

On December 4, 2007, a 54 year-old man was fined $618 for violating the speed limit twice in his wheelchair by travelling at 41 mph. Police confiscated his wheelchair.

In Brighton, England, on April 4, 1952 a man was fined for speeding at 41 mph. His fine was One Pound. The police said that they had been getting too many complaints about speeding invalid chairs. After all, the speed limit in those days for wheelchairs was 20mph. That's right. Twenty miles per hour!

England actually has laws on its books to cover such transport. Wheelchairs are Class III vehicles, and the speed limit these days for them on public highways is 8 mph, and 4 mph on footpaths.

It should not come as a surprise to learn that wheelchairs are adapted to meet all sorts of challenges for the handicapped. In the USA the Federal Drug and Administration have approved wheelchairs that can traverse steps, both up and down, and even to lift the occupant into a standing position. The machine is called the iBot and costs about $30,000.

Then there are those people with spirit who, upon finding themselves sentenced to a life in a wheelchair, find the courage to have a life as normal as possible. Such people might be veterans of war, who could spend their days feeling sorry for themselves, but instead take on the challenge with gusto.

We see them engaging in very rough contact sports, such as basketball where they wheel around the court and slam into one another; or they engage in straight races. They drive their specially adapted cars, and they shop on their own, and they keep house and maintain personal relationships.

I will not say that I salute such people because I cannot say that there is a right way or a wrong way to deal with one’s own disability. To each his own; however, if it works for you then all well and good.

There is one class of mobility wheelchair user who needs to be mentioned, and that is the person who has a very heavy chip on their shoulder. They are likely to slam into pedestrians standing in their way, inflicting serious pain upon the ankles of the unwary with the footplates, in a fit of jealously because the pedestrian has two good legs and feet and didn’t get out of the way.

There is no pain and suffering that you can put such a person through that could possibly be worse than what they are already suffering. If there is such a person anywhere in your proximity be sure to give them a very wide berth, keep a close eye on them and give them a lot of respect, and love, if you can.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Being Different


Being Different --Driving on the Left

Within Europe, Britain is the odd man out. And that country is doggedly determined to remain an island unto itself. Particularly in two areas its difference with the Continent is extreme. Driving on the left presents an unnecessarily dangerous difference, and Britain drags its colonies or former colonies into the same situation. People lose their lives over the confusion this creates, but the authorities seem to have their heads up their collective Asses over this.

The other thing is the fact that Britain retains the Pound as its currency while all of Europe uses the single currency Euro. When the Euro was launched I heard a story that Britain decided against joining in the move as it expected that the euro would collapse in the fullness of time. That may yet turn out to be the truth. But getting back to this business of driving on the left, while almost the entire rest of the world drives on the right it something that simply must be addressed.

Taking a stiff upper lip while insisting, “We British are Different” is simply not good enough, especially when some British drivers go to America or come to the Continent and drive straight into oncoming traffic.

Is it even possible to change at this point in time? I suggest that it is, as it has been done elsewhere. I grant that for some time British drivers would have to be tremendously careful. Also, the legacy of right-hand drive vehicles would take a long time to phase out, especially given the fact that many British owners keep their cars forever.

What a shame things were not uniformed at the start. To have the situation having carried on until the mess we are in today is a great shame. However, I do not really expect to see such a change. It was enough of a challenge to get the British to change over weights and measures. That is still not complete; as is the fact that here in Spain we are still pricing things in Pesetas.

We humans are such creatures of habit!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Masturbator


Where is his other Hand?

I agree that this is a shocking title for a column, but it is justified. A man was discovered to be masturbating while driving his van around Valencia city during daylight hours. Well, now we know what to credit driving customs to in Valencia, and probably throughout all of Spain.We are not surprised because it seems that we (men) are all a bunch of wankers at the wheel.

I feel like being funny about this, or at least sarcastic, because driving skills and attention to safety on our roads are in short supply. It’s true to say that conditions have been improving a great deal, especially judging by the falling death rates. That is reason for pride, but the idiots are still with us. There is no lane discipline; most people seem to think that signalling is illegal, and very few people seem to have a clear idea of what they are doing on roundabouts.

Add to all of that is the fact that so many people insist on driving while drunk. There is also the cowboys who think nothing of cutting off three or more lines of traffic to go off to the right or left, or they overtake the cars in front only to exit the highway having caused everyone to brake.

So it should not be much of a surprise that one of the wankers has been booked for driving while failing to pay due care and attention.

However, it would be hypocritical of the public at large to laugh at this dopey guy from a sense of superiority, as though we would never do anything like that. The fact is that as young drivers we have got up to all sorts of things while driving. We also got up to even more things while parked. That’s all a part of our love affair with (and in) our cars. However, it’s a very poor sap who gets caught playing with himself while driving through the city during daylight hours.

I can only assume that there was a bet in place. Nobody would be that stupid without money involved.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 9, 2010

More Driving Misery


Just what we need: More Driving Misery

As we all know by now the police have their marching orders to hand out denuncias (tickets) in greater volume in order to bring in money for the town treasury. This they should do by all means (legally, I hope) possible.

The one weakness of all who drive on Spanish roads is to take heed of those speed signs that require us to reduce our speeds. I am willing to bet that if there are two drivers in all of Spain who follow these instructions to the letter, then they are the only two, and that they are seen as a real nuisances. In fact, the way that traffic signs are set out, in most cases they are not even intended to be adhered to exactly. The driver would have to practically stand on the brakes in order to slow as rapidly as required.

However, be warned! Especially in road work zones, hidden radar machines are being employed to record speeds, and the problem here is that generally speaking if your speed is 50% greater than the speed indicated the fine will be at least 200 euros, plus points lost from your driving permit.

The lower numbers are the most difficult ones, because if the speed mandated is 40 and you are travelling at 61, your offence is grave, and worse still when the limit is 20 and you are travelling at 41.

We will have to learn driving discipline like stopping and remaining stationary for a red light even though there is no-one crossing the street. I hope you will take this as fair warning and be aware.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Your Car Personality


Show me your car and I will show you your Car Personality

The car or motorbike that we buy reflects our personality as much as the clothes we wear. I have often considered this, but little did I know that great studies have been done to determine who buys what type and make and colour of motorised transport. You and I are completely unaware of the knowledge that the car salesman already has about us before we walk into the showroom. Today I would like to focus solely on colours:

CarInsurance.com reports in their article, “What your car says about your personality” that the choice of colour of your car broadcasts your personality very loudly, whether you realise it or not. My favourite colour is blue, a calming colour, and when it’s properties are described it reflects who I am perfectly. I am someone who likes to think I am a steady person ;who thinks things through before acting. I’m an accountant, so I am supposed to be a blue person. However, having had the option of buying a blue car I decided against it because blue is not who I am as a driver.

I chose instead a Burgundy colour for my Volvo 850. Good Heavens! Burgundy? It doesn’t even show up on the list of car colours. For my second car, a Jaguar XK Sovereign my choice colour is black. That is very interesting, because it suggests that I am an aggressive, possibly dangerous driver, (I'm definitely not!) and a great and competent conductor. A shiny black car with tinted windows also suggests menacing power and mystery.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that secret government agencies are always depicted as driving large black shiny 4x4 vehicles. They are definitely trying to tell us something. But, black is good to give an impression of seriousness.

I once hired a rental car that was small and bright yellow. I had so much fun with that. It really did something for my driving mood. I felt like I was driving around in a yellow canary and I almost felt like singing. Supposedly people who would deliberately buy this colour are generally happy individuals with a light attitude towards life. I say more power to them.

Silver is a curious colour on a car. It seemed the world suddenly went wild for silver, and some of the drivers are said to be somewhat snooty. However, in my view that colour only works if it is highly polished. In that state I am drawn towards it and I give the driver credit for being cool, but, when the shine dulls and it becomes scratched, dented and dirty there is nothing worse.

British Racing Green as a colour does work for me, but not on every make of car. A long while ago I owned a green Jaguar XK120 convertible that I was so very proud of. It was a lovely classic car that I was never sure whether it was the colour or the car that gave me the greatest pleasure. Recently I owned a Chrysler Voyager seven-seater mini-van that had tinted windows. The problem was that I had to keep it clean and shiny because it was in the league of a black car of similar design.

It was such a good-looking car some cretin stole it and set it ablaze. I suppose jealousy had something to do with that.

There are lots of other colours, some of which are shades like pink (for a girl), cream, orange, etc, but two colours stand out and grab for the attention. One is white, which works really well on a large Rolls Royce or Bentley. When we see one of those coming our way it usually suggests someone of wealth and importance, such as a rock star or captain of industry. This is a Statement Car that announces the owner as a person not to be ignored. The Pope drives around in his white PopeMobile I suppose to display a sign of purity and cleanliness, but that would not necessarily be true of all owners of white cars.

The other colour is bright Candy Red. The colour of Ferreri says it all. This tells us that this is flash, hot, very fast, very powerful, and very, very expensive. If you have to ask “How Much?” then you simply are not in the league to own one.

The most rare colour on the street is brown. If you think brown, you should be thinking UPS. Who would drive a brown car? Ithink I would want to follow such a person around to observe what kind of personality would want a brown car. They would probably want a brown Lada.

My Goodness Gracious Me!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael