Don't leave home without your sense of HumourA poll was recently taken in Britain to determine who drivers hate the most among themselves. The result was that all drivers hate each other, and passengers think the driver is always crazy.
There is nothing new about these findings. This is the way it has always been in every country around the world. I just don’t know what it is that happens every time a person sits behind the wheel, but we all seem to undergo some kind of metamorphosis. We see kind and gentle accountants suddenly change into raging lunatics, capable of the most shocking road rage.
The words that come out of the mouths of demure ladies when they get cut off makes the hair on my back stand on edge. This subject is just crying out for study by some institution with the means and ability to get to the bottom of the mystery.
In the results of the study of ten groups, the ranking was as follows:
Tenth Place: Drivers with Caravans on holiday. They are looking at the scenery and taking their time. That just drives the rest of us up the wall.
Ninth place: Foreign Lorry Drivers. They don’t bloody well know where they are going, and they take up so much space. The perfect nuisance when you’re trying to get home for dinner.
Eighth place: Flipping taxis and mini-cab drivers. These people should all show bumper stickers that say “As a matter of fact, I do own the road!”
Seventh place: School run moms. When school is out traffic flows freely. Why do they have to drive such tanks to pick up the kids. I saw a mother in a Hummer. That is a war vehicle. They say it’s for self-defence.
Sixth place: Bleeding Sunday drivers. Having spent the entire week doing battle with traffic, why would someone say on Sunday, “come on, let’s go for a drive in the country?” During the week they drive like Lewis Hamilton. Sundays, they are Mr. Snail. Grrrr!
Fifth place: Mr White Van Man. You don’t actually have to be white to belong to this group. I don´t know whether they are as bad as, or worse than cab drivers, but honestly, there should be a law.
Fourth place: I don’t understand why those stereos –on-wheels should be in this list at all. I think it’s really cool to have a top sound system in my car. What would be the point if you can’t enjoy it too?
Third place. Mr. Show-off. His intention is simply one thing: to charm the pants off the girls. As a young man I thought it was only fair that having bought my super cool car, if a young woman accepted a ride she should expect to come across. (What the hell was I thinking?)
Second place: Courtesy. In England little road courtesies are commonly practised, but people who are at the receiving end must remember to acknowledge their appreciation. In Spain road courtesy doesn’t exist, so no problema!
First place: God, how we hate those damned Boy Racers. Never mind that we were all young once and offended everybody else on the road. Now I’m seventy and I just do not appreciate getting cut up by someone my own son’s age. Oh dear! He is my own son.
Happy motoring everyone! Don’t forget to smile!
Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael
