Blog Archive

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Cars that Drive Themselves






Cars Move On

On the occasion of turning fifty I wrote a two-page column that I entitled “The First Fifty years.” That was twenty-one years ago. In that piece I looked back over my fifty years, including warts and all and declared that so far was so good. I was a father and a grandfather, so I was happy. And then, in a flight of pure fancy I stuck my neck out and tried to envisage what life might grow to be like in the next fifty years.

A couple of my political suggestions have come to be fact, and while I tried to be broad based some of my thoughts might turn out to have been a little wild. However, one of my wildest thoughts to do with driving is now actually a fact: the motorcar that drives without a human, along a normal road.

In a spectacular experiment over a three-month period, (but fifteen years in preparation) a group formed between an Italian company called Vislab and the University of Parma, set four driverless Piaggio Porter minivans on a successful path between Italy, through Belgrade, in Eastern Europe, and through Russia and China, to the city of Shanghai on the Eastern shore of China, a journey of some 15,000 kilometres. I am frankly surprised that this feat of engineering has not been met with the same enthusiasm from the media as the Moon Landing, as it signifies a breakthrough of that importance.

What I saw in my vision was a solution to the mayhem that is caused by entrusting the driving to humans. I reasoned the only solution is to have cars drive themselves along pre-planned paths to the supermarket of your choice; or the bank, or to work, etc. I did not envisage that it would be possible to do this over a distance of 15,000 kilometres. I especially did not see that this could be achieved without using one drop of gasoline or diesel. Yes, this was done by using electric cars!

Each minivan was equipped with six laser scanners, seven cameras; GPS, and on-board computers. On their roofs there were installed solar panels for the recharging of batteries, although the panels were not adequate, so a companion generator truck kept batteries topped up.

The first hurdle the team encountered was that almost all countries have written within their laws that it is unlawful to operate a vehicle along the highways without a driver. Now, what do you suppose made lawmakers include that one on the books? Provided that an actual person was sat behind the wheel, permissions were given for the experiment to proceed.

The trip was deliberately designed to test the cars with the extremes of heat and cold, dry and wet, wind and snow, and pedestrians. As with normal driving, there are some conditions that will defeat all moving things, and the robotics didn’t very much like heavy rain and blinding snow. Neither do I, so I can emphasize. However, the director of the project, Alberto Broggi, seems to be very satisfied that the software ran exceptionally well, and the hardware was spot-on. They have identified the weak points and will rollout new versions when they mount the second test in 2012.

This is such an exciting project, the future technological developments arising from it are hard to anticipate. To have had four vehicles drive 15,000kilometres each, that’s 60,000 kilometres without major incident, and without a human controlling the car is mind blowing. The only accident came when a journalist accidentally disabled a function that made the car drive gently into a wall.

The only fine came when a policeman would not believe that the experiment had the official blessing of his government. This was because the cars were in a pedestrian only zone being tested among pedestrian traffic. When he discovered that the vehicles were driving themselves he wanted to write a sanction that was double that of what it might otherwise have been.

See what I mean about how man can pretty much screw up just about everything?

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Nude while Driving


Nude while Driving - No actual pictures available. Pity that!


You have to wonder what people are thinking when they are found operating a vehicle while improperly dressed, or engaged in improper activities. True, amorous couples get up to all sorts of things while in transit. Just ask any taxi driver. Recently a man was found to be committing masturbation while driving through the city of Valencia during the day. I’m sure that was part of a bet.

Lately, the police came across a man who was riding pillion on a bike while completely nude. Judging by his reaction he was under the influence of drink, but that does not excuse his behaviour, it just makes it worse. How drunk does one have to be to strip off all your clothes and go out in public?

At this moment I'm thinking about all those people who do strip off all their clothes and go out in public, completely sober to register some form of protest or another, but that, as "they" say is another story.


The police stopped him and tried to get a straight answer, but he was violent and abusive to the point of being funny. The police played their part in the comedy by asking for his identity. You get no prizes for guessing what he used for his id card.

Sometimes the best comedy is no farther away than your daily paper.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Dangerously Stupid People



Dangerously Stupid People


There are entirely too many dangerously stupid people behind the wheels of cars and trucks on the roads of Spain. I mean people who are not just reckless for the sake of being reckless, but people who are so stupid that they don’t realise that they are so.

I don’t know what nationality these people are but these are some of their driving habits:
- They drive from side roads onto main roads by only stopping when they are far enough out into the road to see whether anything is coming or not. I encountered one of them a short time ago. The man was entering the main road from between two buildings that completely blocked his view. By the time this idiot could actually see half of his car was protruding into the street. We did not have a crash because I was aware of the exit and of the habits of some of these drivers, and only because the other side of the road was free of traffic that allowed me the space to anticipate the thing that happened. Otherwise I would have crashed broadside into the lunatic. He looked at me as though I was invading his space.
- They drive through stop signs as though they do not exist. It seems that they assume that the sign does not pertain to them. However, even worse, I have come to realise that many of the old time Spanish drivers are completely unaware of what the sign means. They never took a theory exam, and stop is not a Spanish word, so they could argue that they do not know its meaning, although they could reasonably guess by the shape of the sign and its position.
- People who park their vehicles on opposite sides of a narrow road next to an exit. They simply have no consideration for anybody as the person exiting the side road cannot see if there is any traffic, and the cross traffic is forced into a single lane, so the set-up is complete for a crash.
- People who drive their vehicles along the autopista while chatting away at less than sixty kph. Sixty is the legal minimum speed, but even that will bring vehicles from behind travelling at 120 kph dangerously quickly upon them. Meanwhile these dopey people are smoking and talking as though they were at home in their living rooms.
- So many people think that just because they are situated in the far left lane it should not be a problem if they want to go off to the right, and proceed to cross over five lanes of traffic without a care in the world. This is the manoeuvre that absolutely takes my breath away and should win first prize in the dumb and dumber sweepstakes.

The only thing that is of any comfort is that they will soon be gone, killed in action. The bad news is that they will likely take someone else with them. We can only hope that the second person will be another Dangerously stupid Person.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Stereos on Wheels




Stereos on Wheels

Who do we hate the most? We hate the guy driving his stereo on wheels as he comes into our space, and he is blasting his sound system, particularly his mega bass. The system cost him many thousands of euros, so he wants to share his sound with everybody he can.

He is grooving on the latest track from his favourite artist and he is absolutely certain that you will appreciate even a short sound bite.

Wrong!

There is not much that beats loud sounds that interrupt our relative peace and quiet to royally piss off most people. Firstly, he is the only one to fully appreciate the full sound. For those of us on the sidewalk we get the bass. We may even get the high notes, and we have to put the rest together in our minds, if we know the song.

One such terrorist from the neighbourhood decided that he wanted all his neighbours in their condos to hear his concert. He waited until evening time when people were having their meal. He opened all the doors of his car, including the boot, and he pumped up the volume that shook people’s plates on the table.

There was much shaking of fists and yelling from the balconies, which he took as “Go man, go!” He couldn’t actually hear what they were saying as the music was blaring. Finally the police were called in and they heard for themselves, and said something like “ Ostraa! That’s bloody loud.” They approached the car and turned the damn thing off and wrote the guy a ticket for deliberately disturbing the peace.

He went to court and was surprised to get a royal ticking off from the judge about respecting the reasonable rights of his neighbours to peace and quiet. He was then given his punishment: a fine of 2,400 euros, and he was advised that the judge had the latitude to vary the fine between 600 euros and 6,000 euros. If he should ever appear before the courts again for a similar offence it would be easy to guess what the fine would be.

Believe it or not, this happened in Valencia, the noise capital of Spain.

Anybody want to buy a secondhand sound system? It’s really good!

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Devils Own Roads




Danger awaits along The Devils Own Roads

There are a number of roadways that were designed by the devil himself, simply for the purpose of bringing drivers to grief. They exist all over Spain, and probably in other countries as well, but the road authorities will not admit to their existence, because then the public will demand that the problems that they present be corrected.

What a bloody shame that to sue the bastards would be an exercise in futility. Imagine that, to be cavalier as you wish without any real possibility of redress.

I recently wrote about car crashes along straight roads, and I put it down to inattention, but I have found out the hard way that there can be another culprit: there are all those roads that are narrow and that lack a barrier. Vehicles find themselves come to ruin because when two vehicles are passing, it is very likely that if your judgement is just a little bit off and you drift too far to the right you will simply fall off the freaking road.

You cannot have any real idea of where you are, and all it takes is for the front right hand side wheel to slip off the tarmac and in the ditch you go. This happened to my son along a strip of road that claims at least one unlucky vehicle a week, according to the personnel at the nearby service station and the recovery vehicle driver.

The farm owner showed up to survey the latest “damage” to his rusty and ripped fence. He said that the government wants to buy a strip of his garden to widen the road, but he doesn’t want to sell. I suppose the situation will persist until someone is killed, and probably even beyond, as this situation should have been rectified long ago. However, no-one will make the necessary move to make a compulsory purchase.

In reality, these types of road systems are ancient and were made to serve horse and cart traffic, or at best they served Seat 600 toy cars. However, today all manner of traffic can be expected, including the very large buses and trucks. It is just a matter of time before a bus will meet a truck and they will both fall off the road into the ditch.

Such roads as these are best avoided at all costs, even if a long detour is involved. To travel along them may incurr a cost too great to bear.

Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael