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Sunday, December 8, 2013

On the Lighter Side

A really cool Lay-z-Boy Reclining chair

In the eyes of the police there is no such thing as a funny drunk driving story. The police leave their sense of humour at home, so don't try and make them laugh. However, provided no-one has been hurt, you sometimes just have to laugh.

In China, the boss took his employees out to dinner. Afterwards, they all realised they were too drunk to drive and the boss didn´t want to leave his car downtown. He only lived 3 miles from the restaurant, so they asked a policeman what to do. He said that as long as the engine was not turned on the car could be pushed. That is what they did, with the boss sitting behind the wheel. No problem!

In England, a very drunk dad took his daughter's Barbie electric car down his drive and onto the street when the police happened to be passing. They booked him for drunk driving, and when asked to plead, he replied I am a total twit!

A woman who held a very responsible job found herself driving home after having consumed far too much to drink. The 9-1-1 operator received a call about a woman driving while swerving and evidently drunk. What colour of car is it? It's a maroon Chevy, came back the reply. Are you sure the person is drunk? Yes, because I am that person. Wonder whether she got fired or promoted?

Many years ago in my native Bermuda, a real character of a man who owned horses, but who was a real serious drinker lost his license because of multiple DUI convictions. When next seen he was drunk on his horse, so he was charged with operating a vehicle whiled impaired. He said, why don't you charge the horse too, he's drunk as well.
Lawyers spent hours of the court's time arguing whether a horse is a vehicle!

The Lay-Z-Boy recliner pictured above is an amazing chair. It is fillted with an on-board stero system, a cup holder, and a magazine rack. It is also fitted with wheels, a lawnmower engine, a steering column, a clutch and brakes.

It was while the owner was driving home from the bar that he slammed into a parked car that the  trouble began. Now, it has been auctioned off by the police department for $3,700, which they keep. Now they are lying in wait for the guy who bought it,  because they know he won't be able to resist taking her for a spin.

Sometimes, you just gotta laugh!

Copyright (c) 2013  Eugene Carmichael