On Wednesday, 26th November, 2008 a student driver went to the Realistic Driving school in Petrer, Alicante Province, Spain to have a driving lesson. He had already done the exercises whereby he had learnt the co-ordination things about clutch and brake and accelerator. Today was going to take things up a notch, for today he would go out on the road for the first time.
To say that our young eighteen-year old was excited was an understatement, but he was a fast learner and he took in the counsel of his instructor well. He had been told that there are only two types of actual accidents. They are (a) when a wild animal plunges into the path of an oncoming vehicle and they collide, that is deemed an accident because the animal cannot be blamed. The second type occurs when a driver is overcome by a major sneeze. We cannot sneeze with our eyes open, and a sneeze has a mind of its own. We don’t have to have an actual cold in order for this to happen, so very often these things come to us out of the blue.
Everything else has a fault attached to it. Someone did something that they ought not to have done, or they didn’t do as they were supposed to do. Possibly the collision occurred as a result of bad road engineering or faulty design of the vehicle itself. Examine the circumstances of collisions, large and small and you will be able to lay the blame on someone. In the United States that someone gets to be sued.
After preparing properly the instructor said something else that is very important: he said that in driving, if we can anticipate that something will, or could happen, when it does we can be ready for it to the best of our ability. This day would not tax our young student very much as they would only drive around the block so that he got a feel for being in a real life situation.
They left the driving school parking lot, turned right and proceeded to the traffic lights at the junction. When it was possible they turned right onto the main road and proceeded to pass Cam Bank. At the bank, a bit of excitement was taking place that our student driver was unaware of. Two would-be armed robbers were in the bank. Their names were Mr. Dumb, and his accomplice; Mr. Dumber. Mr. Dumb had been in the process of trying to get the manager to open up the safe, but in spite of taking a beating he refused to do so.
In the process the alarm was sent and the bank became surrounded by police. Mr. Dumb decided that things were not going at all as planned, and so he decided to make a run for it and he came out blazing, wounding four people. He ran into the street in front of the approaching student driver and he fell, promptly got up and pointed his pistol at the police who took him down in a hail of bullets that crossed just in front of the car’s windscreen. It would have been much simpler had he simply dropped his pistol and raised his hands.
The student driver slowed, then he remembered that he had an accelerator and pressed down hard. The car gave out a great cloud of smoke and leapt forward and he was gone. Reportedly he didn’t stop until the car ran out of fuel, somewhere near Madrid.
He apologised to the instructor for getting so rattled as he understood that he failed to anticipate that happening. He thought that for Realistic Driving to go to such lengths was incredibly good training, and that if he decided to continue to drive he would have to get tougher and more accepting of what was normal. Perhaps, he said, he might just leave the driving to his mother and father.
Meanwhile, back at the bank Dumber thought that he needed to be someplace else so in order to get out he would use the multitude of hostages under his command. “Now listen up, you lot. We’re all going to move to the door and you will surround me as we go outside.” Problem: the maximum number of people who could pass through the door at one time was two. He was pretty sure that if he allowed the hostages to go ahead of him they would bolt, so he would go first with a hostage and the others would follow.
As he passed through the door some smart ass locked it and everybody scattered.
“Mi carga en la leche!” he swore. “OK friend, it’s you and me.” But as they moved forward the hostage tripped him and fell to the ground leaving Dumber fully exposed. So, did he drop his pistol and reach for the sky? No, he did not. He thought of himself as Butch Cassiday and started shooting and that was met with a predictable response. He was not immediately killed, but instead he was taken off to hospital suffering from too much lead in his system.
Of course I have made up certain aspects of this story, however there was an actual daylight robbery attempt and the bandits were shot by the police in front of a passing driving school car.
I would just love to hear the driver’s actual impression.
Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael
