Driving, Bermuda

" And now, for something completely different", as the Monty Python crew would say. I would like to talk about Driving in the U.K. and Driving, USA; and Driving through Europe, but how about driving in a mini-state? I have chosen my native Bermuda, and a picture of one of our more unusual visitors along the South Shore, with the all-important Bermuda Lighthouse in the background. As soon as I can find the credit for this superb photo I will post it.

Firstly, Bermuda was originally discovered by the Spanish explorer, Juan de Bermudez, from Cartegena. Spain relinqushed its interest in the little rock in the middle of the Atlantic, and about 100 years later it was re-discovered by the British. It still remains a British possesion, or to be more politically correct, it is a British Overseas Territory. It is one of her territories where she didn't have to dispossess the natives, since there were no people living there at the time. (Or so the history books tell us.)

It is located in the North Atlantic, about 650 miles (1,046 kilometres) off the coast of North Carolina. Its relevance to mini-driving is that the island is only 20.7 miles long, (that's 35 kilometres). It can be walked in one day.

There are 65,000 souls clinging to this wee small rock surrounded by all that ocean, and that figure has remained remarkably static over many years. Some say that every time a baby is born a man leaves. We think that's a joke, but maybe not. Our historic mix is one of African, British, Caribbean, Portuguese, and Native Americans. We don't have nearly enough Spanish, so my friend Pepe is on his way.

Driving in Bermuda would remind you a lot of driving in the U.K. We drive on the left, and all our roads resemble English country lanes. American tourists arriving at Bermuda's International airport usually get real quiet when they realise that the driver is on the wrong side of the road. Eventually, when someone finds their voice it is to ask, "so when do we get to the main drag?" As one comedian put it, "I've seen king-sized beds wider than those roads."

True, our roads are winding, hilly and narrow. We reached what one politician said was saturation point about 20 years ago, but we keep adding more vehicles as everybody wants their wheels. Bermuda is only one of a handful of countries that nearly found a political solution to overcrowding on the road. In 1946, when the enabling legislation (reluctantly) gave the green light to private ownership of cars, it limited the ownership to one per family household. (We have four cars here in Spain, although one is a looker-after while the owners are away, which is most of the time.) So, in Bermuda, you may be from a household of ten people there can only be one car among you.

It worked for many years to keep the number of cars in check, but then came prosperity and young people got good paying jobs and wanted both a car and an apartment. So now we have too many cars and too many houses. Ah well! It seemed like a good idea at the time.

On the plus side, when you visit, you will not be able to rent a car. We concluded many years ago that to rent cars to American visitors, who are accostumed to driving on the right would likely lead to more calamities than we could endure. So, it's mopeds for all.

One tourist who had been out riding all day was finally stopped by the police. "Sir, do you realize you wife fell off the back of your bike sometime ago?" "Oh! Thank God for that", he said. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

Now here's the kicker to this entire tale. The maximum speed limit anywhere on the island is 20 miles per hour, and usually it is prohibited to overtake. (That's 35 kilometres per hour.) I have a friend, Juan, who when he is driving at 35 km/h thinks that he is stopped, and parked!

According to an article published by the only daily newspaper on the island, The Royal Gazette, the police and the Bermuda Road Safety Council are frustrated in their attempts to get people to slow down. Everybody seems to feel that they are in a hurry with places to go, people to see, and things to do. I'm sure that half the time we could just as easy e-mail. Unfortunately, failure to take road conditions seriously ends too often in loss of life. The toll tends to be around unlucky number 13 per year of those killed, often in single vehicle collisions with trees and poles.

Given that Spain suffers more than 3,000 deaths per year, thirteen may not sound like a lot, but I think those affect a great more people, per capita because of the island's smallness.

I hope one day you will visit Bermuda. Please say Hello! to Gene Steede as he welcomes you at the airport by singing you a calypso. Everytime I go back I am struck by the beautiful clear waters, the coral reefs, the verdant green lushness of the vegetation, and the cleanliness. You will meet people who are genuinely glad to see you, and be sure to say a hearty HI! to Johnnie Barnes as he hails you first thing in the morning on your way in to the city of Hamilton. He will most probably tell you that he loves you, and he will mean it. He said to one struggling lady tourist on her moped, "Lady, I love You!" She called back, "Say What!"

Motorcyclist, everywhere! Wear a lime-green "Gerry Jacket" day and night. Be Seen to be Safe!

What Drivers and Riders Accept

I am writing this from my home in the Mountains of Pedralba, a village outside Valencia City, and it is a very cold day. That makes this activity just perfect.

We arrived here from my native Bermuda towards the end of 1999. We must surely be the only immigrants who did not come to Spain for the sun, sand, and the sea, but we will take the sangrias. Bermuda has all those things in good measure, but it is a very small island, only 35 kilometres long and 3 kilometres wide. Like most things precious it comes in a small package.

I decided to give myself a 60th birthday and take early retirement to go in search of adventure, challenge and change. For my family and myself this has been just the tonic.

On the way in from Valencia airport I concluded that what Spain really needed, right there and then were safer roads, and that if I ever got the opportunity to make a small contribution I would not hesitate. In my own way I have been doing my bit, including the writing of a regular column on Spanish Motoring that has been published by the largest publisher of English language newspapers, The Costa Blanca News Group.

So, here we are, seven plus years later. My wife, Lorna, who is from Cornwall, South West England is a fluent speaker of both Castillian and Valenciano Spanish. So much so that many consider her to be native born. Our son, Nathaniel, who was nine when we arrived was holding his own in the language department after six months. I am the problem, but even I am able to travel anywhere in the country and do business without too many costly mistakes.

I have to give praise to our friends, Pepe and Amparo and thier son, Juan, and daughter, Carolina, for without them we would have had to invent someone like them to help us get settled. We chose an area where Spanish only was spoken because we came to Spain.

Spanish roads were really bad when we arrived. The types of behaviour seen on the roads were more suitable for the bullring, but to be honest, things have improved. They could hardly have gotten any worse. We had people darting each and everywhere without total disreagrd for lane discipline. Traffic signs were mere suggestions, especially "Stop" signs. To put it mildly, I was simply horrified. Now I often help newcomers to adjust to the so-called system here, which is still a lot of organised chaos.

So, driving in Spain carries some risks that are somewhat unique because many of your fellow drivers are actually frustrated bull fighters. These young men think nothing of standing still while a mad bull charges at full speed with one thing on its mind. "I'm going to stick it to that little fella!" Having said that, modern driving has many shared risks, and we who take to the road tacitly or openly accept those risks. Here are some of them:

- We know that our road systems are overcrowded and getting worse every day;
- Many of us are incompetent, confused, purchased our license, we are careless and distracted, drunk, on drugs, stupid, or all of the above;
- Sooner or later someone will bump into us, and when they do we can only hope that it will be gently;
- That sooner or later we ourselves will likely bump into someone else. This is not mandatory, however, so be careful out there. A collision is not the same thing as an accident.

For those of you who have to switch from the left side of the road to the right when visiting Europe or North America, there is an easy to remember failproof mantra. "The right side is the right side." Also, if your left elbow, that's the one with the watch normally, is pointing at the center of the road, you're probably doing it correctly. If, however, it is pointing at a hedge alongside, you have to make a correction and you have to be very quick about it.

"Death on the Roads! It doesn't have to end that Way."