Car Marketing

Why make a car that is capable of reaching speeds of 275 km/h? Where you going to get up to such speeds driving normally?

Why make a car with a sunroof? On a bright and sunny day when you roll back the top you start to bake. After five minutes you no longer can take it so you close it again. Why?

Why make a convertible car where the whole top comes off. When the top is on and the car is parked it is also locked. With the top off,  the car is open to the world, and if it should rain while you are in a building that will be an authentic disaster. Why do we do these things?

It's all about marketing!

We keep talking about how fast the car can go from 0-60. This is important when you are trying to enter the motorway and you need to get ahead of the lorry that is thundering down on you. Then you need acceleration and it's great fun to both the car driver and the trucker to see you get ahead and be reduced to a mere dot on the horizon in 2.5 seconds. However, to do that you have to have a clear road ahead and you will be breaking the speed laws.

Otherwise, the legal limit remains at 120 km/h, so why do we need twice as much capacity? The answer is, we don't. The trouble is that some drivers who have excrement where their brains are supposed to be do try and reach such speeds along roads that are being used by other traffic. These are drivers trying to commit suicide.

The only real use I find for my sunroof is that I can park the car and leave the roof in the flipped up position which allows the heat that would normally build in the car to escape. Other than that, if I want the wind to flow through the car while moving I can simply open the window panes on the doors while staying cool.

There was a time when the idea of the convertible was very attractive. That was before we actually owned such a car and discovered for ourselves all the many problems that come along with driving around with the top down. The idea lost favour to the extent that these days you have to be someone who just wants to be different by owning one. That's fine!

While we are on the subject of marketing it's worth a look at the 4X4 phenomena. I'm willing to bet that 99.999% of all 4X4 vehicles have never been anywhere near such appropriate terrain. Most are such sparkling and delightful cars that we even hate to drive through puddles in the street, let alone the mud of the off-road territory. However, the thing they are best at is giving defense against other lesser machines, especially when carrying children, which is probably why so many mothers on the school run drive them.

Strange then that nothing is said in the marketing for these vehicles about their efficacy in protecting the vulnerable occupants. That would actually be marketing that made good sense. No matter, the mothers figured it out for themselves, which gives new meaning to, "Mother knows Best!"

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

The man without a Brain

This week I suffered at the hands of a man who has excrement where his brain is supposed to be.

We were driving along a three lane one-way system. I was in the middle lane overtaking the car on my right as he was preparing to exit when a car passed me to my left, only to immediately slow down and cut across myself and the car next to me, because he too wanted to use the exit. Both I and the other driver had to touch our brakes because of that jerk.

As I passed him I could see that he was about 45, wearing a white shirt and tie, looking smug and calm as though he had not just done the unforgivable. He knew he wanted to exit the highway, so why did he not simply get in lane to make the move by joining the line of cars that were exiting. No, he had to overtake those cars and undertake a dangerous move that put him a few cars ahead.

Bastard!

He was driving an Audi, and I suppose he holds a post that involves responsibility. On the road he is a complete lunatic, and I think that Karma will catch up with him one day, making him just another statistic. I only hope that he doesn't take someone innocent with him.

When it does happen I will not waste any sympathy on him. The way I felt at the time I would have gladly permanently hastened his exit from the roads.

I should not let people like that get to me. I can only wish for the day when all humans will not have the option to drive.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Motoring Clubs

I have been focusing on the unexplained need to form and join a club if you own a car or motorbike. Within the United Kingdom there are thousands of clubs, of which I have been a member of two.

I have been a member of Essex Goldwings Club, and during my time with the club I thoroughly enjoyed trips out when 500 thundering bikes would go on a run. Normally we would have police escorts to manage such a large group, which could have been a lot worse because there a thousands of Goldwing enthusiasts about.

Now, I no longer have the bike, which became too heavy for me. I now drive a Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign which is one of the classics of the Jaguar line. For those people who live within a reasonable radius of their club's head office they have built a complete life-style around their cars. We see them often pictured at a stop for lunch. Everybody always looks so happy.

What is the psychology involved in forming car clubs? In the U.K. there are classic car clubs that involve many brands; and then there are specific brand name clubs where owners celebrate the quality workmanship that has gone into their beloved machine. These machines, whether motorcycles or cars or trucks are the genius of other people, but we find ourselves tenderly caressing them with great pride.  All we have to do is just watch a person when they are cleaning their vehicle and we will see how lovingly and protectively we go about the task at hand.

I often say that we men should treat our women with even a percentage of the tender loving care we reserve for our automobiles and we would be well appreciated. Its as though when we buy a particular brand of car we become a member of that tribe. I certainly think that some Volvo drivers let the side down. They are few in number, and that's a good thing because I expect a certain decorum from my fellow Volvo drivers.

In thinking about this I see that communities build together in many ways. People buy and wear apparel that is made by this or that designer. In doing so we often try to set ourselves apart and above  the ordinary consumer. When I say that I am a member of the Jaguar Enthusiast Club, am I suggesting that I am above the Ford Owners Club of America; or do I feel the next level to reach is that of member of the Maserati Member's Circle?

I'm sure that some of this is inspired, and even funded by commercial interests. After all, group activity drives brand loyalty, and that brings in even more buyers and members, but on the whole it does seem to be a thing in general that we need to belong.

Perhaps I'm overthinking the subject. No-one else seems to be guilty of doing that. They just belong and are happy that they do.

I'll let you know when I enter the Maserati circle.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael

Beware the driver at the red light

The philosophy of anticipation really does pay off when driving. Being focused not only means alert to what the other driver is doing, but also to what he may do unexpectedly. This has saved my bacon on so many occasions that I am really thankful to have learnt this lesson long ago.

At crossroads with traffic lights, there is in addition to the lights a Stop sign on a pole, and a painted stop sign on the road. In case of a failure on the part of the lights, which take precedent over all, except a policeman in charge of directing traffic, then the stop sign on the pole should be adhered to.

Should the lights have failed to work; and in case the stop sign on a pole not be there because somebody knocked it down, then the painted sign on the road is the last authority.

If you sat through the Rules of the Spanish Road you would have learnt that. The problem is that not everybody driving in Spain today took an exam, including those who are driving without a permit. Therefore, at such a junction they may become confused, as did a man who was at the head of the line at a red light. When the light turned to green he moved off, then promptly stopped when he reached the stop sign on the pole.

That sort of thing really makes one clinch one's buttocks because you are just not expecting it. Fortunately, I had to shift into gear when he apparently had an automatic, so he stopped just as I started. I hit my horn hard, followed by a chorus behind me that led him to spin his wheels hard as he took off.

I'm sure this type of thing only happens once in a while, but because no-one expects it the potential for causing a real mess is great. As long as every driver is focused and patient the probability of a crash is lessened, but that depends on every driver doing his bit.

As for the super cautious driver, this is a classic case of causing a problem by being overly cautious.

Copyright (c) 2016
Eugene Carmichael