There is Nothing quite like a Jaguar!

A Jaguar XK120

I am a Jaguar Enthusiast, so naturally I am a member of The Jaguar Enthusiast Club. I really do not know whether other brands bring out the love in the same way that Jaguar does. I own a Volvo, and a Seat, and I owned a Chrysler, but none of those brands had anything going for them as does the Jaguar.

I do believe that MGB have a strong following where members get together for racing and touring, but even that does not stand up to the passion that Jaguars drive in their members. I consider myself out on the periphy of the club, both geographically and psychologically, mainly because I am not located near to the Spanish club. However, back in England, and even here in Spain where our club is quite young, the pride that members take in their cars frightens me.

They do the usual sorts of things by getting together for runs and lunch, but perhaps the thing about Jaguar is that there are so many different types and classes of the name. For instance, the E-Type was one of the most popular models, but I personally never got a feel for it. During the height of its popularity, to have been seen in an E-Type with the top down was the bee's knees. Even today, among the classics it stands very proud, except that it still doesn't appeal to me.

Back in the U.K., I owned an XJ120 convertible, British Racing Green, which is the two-seater model with a long front end. This is the car in which I was mistaken to be Lenny Henry. It was a wonderful car that made me feel as though I was a Somebody. When I returned to Bermuda I had to sell it for a mere pittance, but anyone you still has one in fairly good condition can ask something reasonably substantial.

The trouble with Jaguar is that there are so many models in circulation it is really a confusing thing to be able to keep oneself  fully informed. As an example, the model I own is an XJ6, 3.2 litre Sovereign, and that is possibly the exact same thing as a Daimler. The XJ series were made in the 6, 8 and 12 cyclinder models. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to own a 12-cyclinder model with today's petrol prices.

I think it might be interesting to make a study of just how many models there are under the Jaguar heading. I will do that and return in the near future with my findings. Meanwhile, I must admit that being the only black man in Spain to drive a Jaguar is a lot of fun. Whenever I drive up I am greeted with an expletive, which just gives me the giggles.

Come on guys, its just a car!

Copyright (c)  2012  Eugene Carmichael

Dopey Things people do while driving!

There is nothing quite as riveting as two very nice boobs.

But, with these coming your way, you really have to concentrate on what you are supposed to be doing!

I have seen this before, (not the above), but the other day a man passed me driving with a cigarette stuck between two fingers of the hand that was holding the steering wheel. This is a very common thing to do among smokers, and I know many of you will question me with a, so what? It just seems like a risky thing because if you have a sudden turn to make the cigarette will probably go flying, right in your lap. I know it looks cool, but anything to do with cigarettes while driving is, well, frankly dopey.

Take the example of the man who was lighting his cigarette from the car's lighter. You have to divert your gaze for at least a couple of seconds, otherwise you light your nose. During those precious seconds the man was headed for a head-on collision with me, on a corner. Another coat of paint between us and we would not have made it. I was not amused!

I drove behind a young guy who was so preoccupied with his hair that he was constantly looking in the mirror while tossing it this way and that.

I got hit from behind because a family car allowed their small daughter to roam around without being strapped in. I had come to a stop when the mother driver realised, and slammed on her brakes. Needless to say the little girl was slammed into the windscreen, which must have been really glued in well. Fortunately, it resulted in just a little bump to me because my car is automatic and my foot came off the brake pedal and off I went.

It amazes me the things that people do that will lead to the hospital, or worse, but yet they do these things quite deliberately. Things like read a book with one hand, and smoke with the other while driving at speed. Even on a straight road you still need to maintain control. I don't even like to look at the radio while changing channels. I agree that driving long distances along straight roads is uber boring, but you really are taking your life in your hands, or rather her hands or mouth, to choose that time to play sex games. If it all goes wrong it will end in tears, lots of tears.

The worst are the ones who are sex exhibitionists who do it for the show. Some time ago, while driving along a two lane highway in the same direction, a car pulled alongside me and matched my speed. The lady passenger had her top off revealing two wonderful breasts, and the male driver was massaging them and looking over at me. I must admit it gave me a woody, but how the hell is anybody supposed to concentrate with all that going on?

Copyright (c) 2012  Eugene Carmichael

On Motoring with a Right Hand Drive Car in Spain

The Steering wheel is on the Right-Hand side.
How big a problem is that in Europe?

This is a subject that we tend to take for granted, but in reality it can be a life or death experience with no error for mistakes.

I own both forms of cars, and sometimes I change from one to the other in the same day. To complicate matters, the Jag, with the steering wheel on the right side, is an automatic. When I drive the Jag, apart from the fact that it is my classic car, which means I drive it as though it were made of eggshells, I am always on high alert.

Frankly, none of us who drive along National roads, or any road with two-way traffic, should overtake the vehicle in front for silly reasons, such as he is moving too slow. The big crashes almost always occur along such stretches as it places two opposing vehicles in the same lane. A head-on collision will most likely produce death. Why that doesn't seem to cross the minds of people who do such things, I really don't know.

When the steering wheel is on the right-hand side, to overtake is considered a suicidal move. I normally hold back and accept the speed of the vehicle in front of me, the exception being if it is a tractor. In such cases I can only make the move if we are making a right hand turn that exposes the whole of the road ahead to reveal that there is nothing coming my way.

This is an example of what can go wrong if the driver decides to poke himself out into the oncoming lane without knowing for sure that nothing is coming his way: One such driver was stuck in a lane of traffic that had stopped. He had his wife sitting in the front passenger seat, and behind her was a visitor from England. Suddenly, the driver pulled out and was hit by a bus carrying school children.  The man's wife and visitor were both killed instantly. His car was slammed and turned around, and the bus was pulled to the left and drove one of the cars in the lane through the barrier and down an embankment, whereupon the bus fell on the car.

The driver of the car was killed, and his pregant girlfriend was seriously injured. On board the bus, one student, who was sitting in the back seat, was propelled the length of the bus and out through the windscreen. She had to be taken by air ambulance to hospital. Several of the other children were also injured, which in turn set off panic by a mass of parents and family members. 

What would be the appropriate form of punishment for such a person? (It's not good enough to assume that what he did must haunt him everyday!)

There are a number of other things that range between being dangerous and a nuisance. Dangerous is misjudging where you have the car placed, especially when you are accustomed to personally being near to oncoming  traffic. Secondly, toll booths are a real pain, and added to that is the fact that the car is an automatic, and if I forget and try to change gears I would move the lever from "drive" to "neutral", if it would move while I'm in motion, and from there to REVERSE. I don't know whether there is a safety control mechanism, but I am not going to experiement.

Other than these sorts of things, motoring with a car with the steering wheel on the right is a perfectly normal thing to do. However, it does make you the odd man out, but, when the car is a Jag, people can understand why I might not have wanted to leave it behind in England.

Between you and me, I actually purchased it here in Spain, but that's our secret!

Copyright (c) 2012   Eugene Carmichael