Honda's Goldwing! More Than a Motorcycle!

• Published May 20th, 2007
• 
  There is something about the Honda Goldwing that turns heads. The first time I came upon one a group of nuns were gathered round it praising it to Heaven. Especially if its a cherry red colour. Not such a long time ago I took a round the British isles tour on a ‘Wing, riding solo, simply going where fancy directed me. My experiences on just that trip alone could fill a book. The thing is that this is not so much a motorcycle as it is a lifestyle. To begin with it is so luxurious that people who just don’t understand will likely ask, “ why not just get a car?” Here are some stats:
  
  - This is a motorcycle that runs on a 1500cc engine, and the newer models run on 2000cc.
  - The engine is a six-cylinder, dual-carbs, five gears, including overdrive, plus reverse. The reverse gear works off the starter motor and is used when it is necessary to roll the bike backwards up an incline. No matter how slight, it simply is not possible to push the bike because of its weight.
  - Standing still on its own it weighs some 850 pounds before adding 66 pounds of luggage and a full tank of petrol. Then with rider and passenger we begin to get into some serious weight. The perpetual worry is that of having the bike fall over, or having to stop on steep hills.
  - It is made for long-range touring, and to this end it is absolutely superb. It is possible to hitch a purpose-made trailer that folds out into a very intimate double bed tent, together with space underneath to carry pots and pans and all sorts. You can even attach a small refrigerator that runs off the cigarette lighter.
  - It has a superb sound system. From the cd/radio deck you can play your favourites on quadrasonic sound, two speakers in the front and two behind for the passenger.
  - Communication between passenger and rider is through helmet - to – helmet intercom, as well a CB system allows talk between riders of the group.
  - For cold weather riding, which most ‘Wing owners do not do, there is the facility to plug into the electrics your thermal underwear. Like wearing your electric blanket. The latest innovations are heated handle grips, and heated back rests with six points independent controls for passenger and rider. It also has a/con in the sense that it is possible to channel warm air from the engine on to legs and feet.

It had to happen eventually. Now, engineers have added air-bag protection in the case of frontal collision. Next, they will have to add-on as standard a tissue dispenser to wipe away the tears should the bike get hurt in an accident.

I was formerly a member of The Goldwing Owners Club of Great Britain, and the Goldwing Road Riders Association of America. Specifically I rode with Essex Wings and gathered many life-long lasting memories. What a great club! Notice I say “Club” and not gang. Oh no! These were gentlemen and gentle ladies, one and all. Law-abiding and courteous, and very experienced riders. It was quite enough to go for a run and to feel the power of our combined numbers.

We got our kicks from doing positive things like riding for charity, or taking someone very special for a ride to fulfill a wish.

Group riding has the effect on those on the roadside to stop what they are doing just for an instant to watch in awe. The young boy who just can’t wait to grow up; the elderly gentleman with the look on his face of “ah, if only…”, and the young girls whose eyes take on that certain twinkle. On Saturdays we often rode past churches where the wedding party was just coming down the steps. Many a bridegroom got himself into trouble by looking just a tad too wistful.

One of my more fond memories related to the day I rode into Oxford and parked the bike to go shopping. When I came back there was a throng closely inspecting everything about it. After allowing a few minutes to pass I proudly stepped through the group and opened the top box, took out my helmet and placed the key in the ignition. Everyone stepped back while taking an intense interest in my every move.

“SHOWTIME!” I turned the key and pressed the start button and people held their ears expecting a great varoom! What they got was the whisper quiet hum of a fine Swiss watch. Then I put it in reverse gear as mouths fell open and rested on chests. This scene, I thought, needs something. I happened to have on the sound system Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. “Oh, why not?” So to the strains of that lovely and stirring music I rode into the sunset, which were I not careful might have been the bushes, so carried away was I.

Enough of this reminiscence, where’s the nearest dealership?

Death on the roads? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Please don´t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you.

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Alcohol Poisoning!

Published May 13th, 2007

I have already written two columns on the evils of drinking too much alcohol, including trying to drive while impaired by even a little drink. I decided to look further into the subject of binge drinking, as being a particular threat to our children’s wellbeing. I know, they don’t like it when we call them our “children” but we parents will eternally think of them as such. Even when they are married and have children of their own.

My wife and I have one son. How old is he? Depends on who you ask. His mother probably thinks he’s twelve, and always will be. I think he’s sixteen, at least that’s what it says on his birth certificate. And if you ask him he thinks he’s thirty-three. Our challenge is to help keep him safe.

What is Alcohol Poisoning?

The world famous Mayo Clinic of the United States defines Alcohol Poisoning as a serious and sometimes deadly consequence of binge drinking of alcohol, otherwise known as ethanol.

I think that it may be commonly associated here in Spain with young people who congregate to hold illegal bottle parties. At these happenings some very serious drinking takes place as participants intentionally get hammered, po-faced, wrecked, and messed-up. Then, the next day they can be found saying “The Liar’s Prayer”. Dear God! If you will only let me live I promise never to do this again. (Untill next Saturday.) Usually this is said while hugging the toilet.

Why do we do such stupid things to ourselves deliberately? We know that the next day it’s really going to hurt. We’re probably going to make a fool of ourselves on the night. We may even do something that lands us in legal trouble. Then we get to say, “but I was drunk, yer honour! Like that made it better.

Now lest you think I was always an altar boy, I have had my fair share of shameful episodes, including the night I was helping my buddy to celebrate his birthday. We were drinking the French drink, Pernod. I finally awoke the next day inside my car, into the blazing sun in my yard. The key to the ignition was still turned to the on position, but my battery had completely run down. I can’t even begin to describe how my mouth tasted, just that I was so thirsty. Pernod makes you want to drink lots of water, and with every drink of water you seem to get drunk all over again. I was probably legally drunk for a week.

That was the last time I came anywhere near to being over the limit. I was surely suffering from the effects of alcohol poison in my system. Mainly I was terrified that I may have killed someone without even being aware as the car did suffer a bashing; and when it turned out that I had not harmed anyone, I was simply ashamed of myself.

There can be a funny side to drunkenness. Dudley Moore made his drunk famous in “Arthur”. Here’s what’s not so funny: The World Health Organisation has reported that more than 55,000 people between the ages of 15-29 die each year within Europe as a direct result of excessive alcohol, whether in accidents, suicides, murders, or alcohol poisoning.

England and Wales report that some 33,000 lives are lost annually from this preventable cause; and Scotland are concerned because girls outnumber the boys who are brought into the Accident and Emergency due to too much alcohol.

In Ireland the cost to every man, woman, and child from alcohol abuse amounts to 600 euros annually. The country with the greatest problem of all is Russia. Recently President Putin highlighted the seriousness of his country’s dilemma by acknowledging that each year approximately 42,000 people are killed or disabled directly by binge drinking.

What makes these figures hard to accept is that drinking in moderation is usually a social pastime, something we do for pleasant effect. The most devastating affect is in the college and university dormitories of the world where young people are sent to gain further education. For parents to have to come collect their dead student because he or she died from ignorance of the deadly effect of taking too much of a “good” thing is particularly ironic.

So, my only advice is, know your limits and stick by them. And one more thing: go to the internet and look up “alcohol poisoning” and learn to recognize it in your friends, and what to do in such cases. That information could actually save your own life, if you share it with a friend.

The Undertaker’s Cocktail : DRINK, DRUGS, DRIVE



Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

The Telephone Call in the Still Small Hours of the Morning!

Published May 6th, 2007

Candidly, I write this column in solidarity with all you parents of teenaged children who are growing up in the permissive society of Spain, or for that matter anywhere in Europe. Just in case you thought that you were alone in trying to cope with a lifestyle where your children expect to go out late at night, and to stay out until 10am the next day, let me assure you that you are not alone. All throughout the land there are dim lights turned on in solitary rooms as anxious parents wait up, unable to sleep.

My generation were expected to be in the house by no later than 11 o’clock at night. Later than that and don’t bother coming home, ever again. I always felt hard done by, as did all my mates as we were certain that all the action started after eleven. And it did, because the next day you got a blow-by-blow account from the older guys. (I'm sure they made up half of it.)

We felt that our fathers, and especially our mothers were too hard on us. They did not allow us any freedom, and they did not trust us any further than they could see us. Of course they were right, but we didn’t appreciate it at the time. We were sixteen and fully grown men, or so we thought.

What we did not understand was that we had to survive the growing-up process. We are like the turtles, in that not all who break through their shells and make it to the surface of the sand get to make it to the water. Of the ones who make it to the water, not all make it across the ocean, and of those that do, not all the females will make it back to the beach to lay new eggs. Relate this to the world of people and it becomes clear that one only gets to celebrate one’s seventieth birthday as a result of a lot of very good luck, a guardian angel who works overtime, and by making a lot of good decisions. Teenagers don’t always make good and sound decisions that are in their own best interests.

The permissive society makes it very hard for both parent and child, and a permissive society with rising expectations is worse. It is difficult for the parent who tries to keep their child under strict control, and it is also very hard for the child’s social stature among their peers. The child who is overly-protected is treated as a geek and teased unmercifully. Yet, it’s wrong that young people are free to roam the streets all night. Should something dire happen to your son or daughter in the wee small hours, and you are not expecting them home until 10am, how will you know that something is amiss?

Recently, one parent received a call from the emergency ward of a hospital to say that his son had been brought in by ambulance, having been found in an intoxicated and collapsed state. Following a urine test it was determined that the intoxication and poisoning was due to alcohol only. Following a stomach pump and several hours on a drip father and son were allowed to go home. If you must receive such a call, this is as good as it gets. However, having said that, acute alcohol poisoning can and does kill.

This tale does, however, have a kicker. The child’s wallet had been lost or stolen, and he lay for several hours, firstly in a car park in the open air with cars driving around, and later, he lay in that hospital bed as a “Patient Unknown” person. Were this a different circumstance and he had died, how would his parents have found him? By calling the hospital and giving his name, and asking whether he had been admitted would most likely have brought forth the response, “no one here by that name.”

On one Saturday night in Valencia at a bottle party, fourteen young people ended up in emergency as a result of being attacked and stabbed by a roving gang of neo-nazis. I wonder how and when their parents were informed.

So, here’s a suggestion to all you worried parents: If your son or daughter insists on being out till the very early hours of the morning, it will help if they would carry some form of alternative identification with your contact details. Normally all our ID is in our wallets. Once that is gone, unless we have a friend to give our details we become anonymous. Perhaps something as simple as a wristband or pendant, or for the boys the army-style “dog tags” would do. If you are in Torrevieja there is a static market that borders the parking lot at the port. Look for stall 126, and Michael, a very helpful young man will engrave your name and home telephone number on such identification.

It perhaps does not bear thinking about, but I’m certain that there are statistics that tell of the number of people who get taken to emergency as unknown patients, and worse, as corpses every day in the large cities of Europe. At least here in Spain we all normally have some form of identification with us. Apparently, the average person will have at least two forms of picture ID, a driving license and resident’s card. It’s sobering to think that in the U.K. most people walk around every day without one single piece of required ID.

Parents! Do you know where your children are tonight?

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael