Where is his other Hand?
I agree that this is a shocking title for a column, but it is justified. A man was discovered to be masturbating while driving his van around Valencia city during daylight hours. Well, now we know what to credit driving customs to in Valencia, and probably throughout all of Spain.We are not surprised because it seems that we (men) are all a bunch of wankers at the wheel.
I feel like being funny about this, or at least sarcastic, because driving skills and attention to safety on our roads are in short supply. It’s true to say that conditions have been improving a great deal, especially judging by the falling death rates. That is reason for pride, but the idiots are still with us. There is no lane discipline; most people seem to think that signalling is illegal, and very few people seem to have a clear idea of what they are doing on roundabouts.
Add to all of that is the fact that so many people insist on driving while drunk. There is also the cowboys who think nothing of cutting off three or more lines of traffic to go off to the right or left, or they overtake the cars in front only to exit the highway having caused everyone to brake.
So it should not be much of a surprise that one of the wankers has been booked for driving while failing to pay due care and attention.
However, it would be hypocritical of the public at large to laugh at this dopey guy from a sense of superiority, as though we would never do anything like that. The fact is that as young drivers we have got up to all sorts of things while driving. We also got up to even more things while parked. That’s all a part of our love affair with (and in) our cars. However, it’s a very poor sap who gets caught playing with himself while driving through the city during daylight hours.
I can only assume that there was a bet in place. Nobody would be that stupid without money involved.
Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael
I agree that this is a shocking title for a column, but it is justified. A man was discovered to be masturbating while driving his van around Valencia city during daylight hours. Well, now we know what to credit driving customs to in Valencia, and probably throughout all of Spain.We are not surprised because it seems that we (men) are all a bunch of wankers at the wheel.
I feel like being funny about this, or at least sarcastic, because driving skills and attention to safety on our roads are in short supply. It’s true to say that conditions have been improving a great deal, especially judging by the falling death rates. That is reason for pride, but the idiots are still with us. There is no lane discipline; most people seem to think that signalling is illegal, and very few people seem to have a clear idea of what they are doing on roundabouts.
Add to all of that is the fact that so many people insist on driving while drunk. There is also the cowboys who think nothing of cutting off three or more lines of traffic to go off to the right or left, or they overtake the cars in front only to exit the highway having caused everyone to brake.
So it should not be much of a surprise that one of the wankers has been booked for driving while failing to pay due care and attention.
However, it would be hypocritical of the public at large to laugh at this dopey guy from a sense of superiority, as though we would never do anything like that. The fact is that as young drivers we have got up to all sorts of things while driving. We also got up to even more things while parked. That’s all a part of our love affair with (and in) our cars. However, it’s a very poor sap who gets caught playing with himself while driving through the city during daylight hours.
I can only assume that there was a bet in place. Nobody would be that stupid without money involved.
Copyright © 2010 Eugene Carmichael
