Motoring Miscellany

The Road Hog in a Porsche!

A group of us stood round admiring the deep blue Porsche sports convertible when the owner, a man of about 55, came up and pushed his way past us, got into the car, turned the key and over revved the engine, and with a great squeal of tyres he burnt rubber, leaving behind a cloud of foul smelling acrid smoke, as he fishtailed out of the area, causing other motorists to take evasive action.

He could only travel about 75 metres before he had to stop due to cross traffic. Without waiting for a clear opportunity he barged into the stream of passing traffic and crossed into the passing lane and burnt rubber again.

We were all gobsmacked. This was behaviour from a man who was old enough to know better. Sure, he was quite obviously wealthy, and he evidently wanted to impress us. That he did, but the impression that we got was not one I would recommend. He fails to understand that a punk in a Porsche is still a punk, and a lout in a Lexus is still a lout. A moron in a Mercedes is, well, just sad.

Is this your day?


On one of my journeys from Valencia to Torrevieja, a distance of over three hundred kilometres, two cars merged from the right with my lane of traffic. One went ahead of me, and the other came in behind, and for close to one hundred kilometres we were a convoy.

The car behind me made me very nervous, but I soon began to take notice of the one ahead of me because the driver was a good example of prudent driving habits. In other words, that driver was a good motorist. So was the driver behind me, but he still made me nervous.

The driver in front maintained a good speed, was careful and courteous, always defaulted to the right-hand lane after we passed slower moving vehicles, such as trucks. This was permitted as we were travelling along a dual-carriageway in one-way flow of traffic. I could tell that the driver employed anticipation, and I felt safe in following the example being set.

That car came to the place of their choosing to exit the motorway, and as I drew parallel I stole a glance, as you do, to see whether a man or woman was driving. The driver was a woman.

The car behind was still making me nervous, not that he was doing anything particularly wrong. There were two men, one driver and the other his passenger, and we continued along for about another thirty minutes until I stopped off at a rest stop.

They continued on, and as they drew alongside me I could see that they had another passenger, although I couldn’t make out whether male or female. That’s because the lid was fastened down on the coffin.

I suspect having a hearse following along behind would make anyone nervous. You might even think, “ Man, this is not my day!” Pray that they are not thinking, “According to our records, it is. Whenever you’re ready, we’re here for you!”

Gotcha!

I know from first-hand experience the feeling of getting caught after having been warned. Trust me, you feel really daft. You have to take signs like “Speed controlled by Radar”, and “No Parking” seriously.

Recently, in the town of Lliria, just off the main Ayuntamiento plaza the roads narrow considerably. There is a no parking sign, and just under that on the same pole, there is a graphic to show what will happen if you do park there. The sign shows a grua picking up a car ready to carry it off to the impound centre.

As I was passing on foot, sure enough there was an actual grua picking up the car that had been parked right under the sign. I stayed around to watch, hoping for the owner to come back so as to enjoy the drama when he realised what was happening. Unfortunately he did not show, and equally as unfortunate I did not have my camera at the time. That would have been one of those priceless photos that could have gone round the world.

Along the AP-7 there are several stretches of road where the speed is limited to 100 km/h, but along this particular stretch we are warned that our speed is being monitored by radar as the road branches off to the left. Fortunately for me I was cruising behind a lorry that was travelling at under a hundred, and I chose not to overtake. There was the radar, and just around the corner was the queue of traffic awaiting their speeding tickets.

The thing is, when we come upon a directive like that, we must be certain to have already reduced our speed to that mandated. It is usually not enough just to take our foot off the accelerator; we also have to apply our brakes. Especially along areas of road works it is important to cooperate with the slow-down signs as there are men working, and they are absolutely relying on drivers to watch out for their welfare.

Road Improvements!

I must not let this opportunity pass without giving praise to the Administration for the work that they are doing to improve the CV-35, and in particular the addition of the new CV-50 that cuts across from the CV-35 to connect with the Madrid road.

It is a really great stretch of road that will eventually circumvent Villamarchante and Cheste. It will also cross and connect with the Pedralba road, and will make redundant the need to pass through Villamarchante and Riba-roja. The reduction on those secondary roads should then be very noticeable, while making the drive from Pedralba and surrounding towns quite quick into Valencia city. Hurrah!

Motorist! Please take extra care with motorcyclists!

Copyright (c) 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Motoring Security (I)

As though there was not enough to concentrate on with the every day dangers of the road, there are other perils awaiting us in the evil minds of the highwaymen who seek to relieve us of our possessions. Added to that there are a number of things to keep in mind as simple precautions to avoid having one’s day spoilt.

By simply taking the moment to buckle up we increase our chances of surviving the day in the event of a collision by a significant percent. The late, Princess Di gave her very life to make that point. The least that we can do is to heed her final warning.

It’s not just us as adults. When I see parents driving along with their children moving about the car I absolutely cringe. All that it would take is an incident where the driver has to brake sharply to avoid a crash, and while the crash may be avoided the consequences to anything or anybody not held in place by a seatbelt or other restraint could be catastrophic.

The drill before setting your car in motion should be to ask yourself whether everything in the car will stop at the same as the car does, particularly in an emergency.

- Will you, and all of your passengers stop with the car, or will one or more continue moving forward when all else had stopped?
- Will your pet stop with the car, or will the poor thing be flung out the window to the absolute horror of everyone else in the car?
- Will your shopping stop, or will the car suddenly become filled with flying objects that might well kill?

Consider for a moment what actually happens when you bring your car to a screeching halt: If the vehicle is moving at only 5 kilometres per hour and you press down hard on the brake, if you had an item, such as an umbrella sitting on the area behind the rear seats, it might amaze you how far it would travel, and the force with which it would be propelled.

Now consider what would happen if you have all sorts of shopping sat on the rear seats, and you have to brake very hard to stop while driving at 80 km/h. What a mess with broken bottles, probably a smashed windscreen as stuff goes flying through it. Got eggs and milk? Doesn’t bear thinking about, does it? Place the groceries in the boot.

As for your child that is not properly strapped in, the child would, at 80 to 120 km/h take on the force of an object weighing about 3,000 kilos and would sail out into space with the impact of falling at least three stories. I emphasize properly strapped in, because if not the force can actually pull or push the wearer right out through the harness, if not being worn as designed.

Pets should never be allowed to freely roam around the car. They have no sense of what is involved and could cause your death just because they want to climb in your lap at a crucial moment. They too become flying missiles if not properly restrained. That means they should be carried behind a secure net. To restrain them by attaching their lead to their collar and the other end tied to an anchor point in the car could result in a broken neck for the animal.

Passengers in the rear seats that were not wearing their seat belts have been known to have killed the driver and or passenger in the front seats who were wearing theirs. It is therefore expressly in the interest of the driver to make sure that everyone is properly buckled up.

You are advised not to leave packages of any description in the car. That will be one less reason for the opportunistic thief to break into your car. He cannot know that the package he sees only contains your soiled laundry.

When carrying a handbag or briefcase, it is normal to place the item on the front passenger seat. There it sits as temptation to a would-be thief who waits for you at the traffic lights. To discourage him simply thread your seatbelt through the strap of the bag. This will restrain the bag, and he will see that you are not co-operating with him.

When travelling on a long journey of more than two hours you will need to stop and rest. There are organised rest stops where one can use the facilities, and get something to eat and drink. What they don’t usually do is provide security for your vehicle. It may be better to avoid these stops in favour of a simple petrol station if you are travelling alone.

Otherwise, if there are two or more adults it is much more secure that at least one adult stay with the car. There may be organised criminals waiting for you. They may break into your car there and then, or they may simply let most of the air from a tyre, only to follow you and to alert you that you have a soft tyre. When you pull over they will distract you while robbing you of your valuables.

If you ever return to your car that you left in the commercial centre car park and you notice that there is a piece of paper taped to your rear window, it is best not to remove it immediately, but rather to drive away until you reach a well populated place. Then stop your car, turn the engine off, lock the door, and then remove the piece of paper.

Normally, you only notice the paper when you have started the car, and when you step out to remove it two men will suddenly appear and jump into your car that has the motor running, and they will drive off with everything that you had, leaving you with a piece of paper in your hand. If they have a sense of humour they will have written on it “Sucker!”

Be road Smart! Don’t be a Victim. Use Common Sense.

Copyright (c) 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Roundabouts, Rotondas.

Continuing on from Part A of this topic, I was thinking wouldn’t it be nice if we signalled our intentions to our fellow travellers, especially when using roundabouts. It is very rare to be advised by the car that is coming round the circle that they are going to cross our path. You’d think they would do so in the interests of self-preservation, but no, we just have to assume that is what they will do. The problem with assuming is that like the roll of the dice we will mostly get it wrong.

The next time you use a roundabout first make certain you signal your intention, but also take a quick little check to record the number of times you are given a signal. It just seems to run against the grain to do so. I have no answer other than to keep hammering home the dual messages of “enter the roundabout in the left lane unless taking the first exit, and indicate your intention”.

I considered putting in a couple of graphics to show the point I am trying to make, but there is no real substitute for going to see for oneself the organised pandemonium. It gets worse at the hybrid roundabouts that have the main road running straight through the middle. These are neither one thing nor the other, and should be approached with the greatest of caution. I have no idea what these engineers had in mind. Whatever it was, it does not work too well. For one thing, other than the through traffic, all other vehicles tend to gather in the holding areas on the side streets awaiting their green lights where mass confusion reigns.

Imagine a situation where the car in the far right wants to cross over two or more lanes to get to the far left, and a car on the far left wants to do the vice-versa. Now, multiply by a factor of dozens. Welcome to the intersection from hell.

This topic is so complicated that the greater in-depth I go the law of diminishing returns begins to apply. So, I will end here with this summary: (a) if roundabouts confuse you, go and observe for yourself. You will instantly see who is doing it correctly and how.
(b): Try it as suggested above, you’ll like it, because when done with care and skill it really is a thing of beauty. Just be careful and execute it slowly.

Death on the roads? It doesn’t have to end like that!
Stay safe! Drive safely!

Copyright (c) 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Is it Service, or is it Something Else?

Having a vehicle means having to have it serviced, and that means inter-acting with the service providers. That term covers many sins, from filling up with gas, petrol, or fuel (whatever you might like to call it) at the “service station” to a full-scale overhaul at the taller, (garage) it ultimately means trouble.

I’m dating myself by saying that I do remember the good ole days when you pulled in to fill ‘er up and you got your windshield washed, your tyre pressure checked, and there was also a mechanic on duty. Have a flat? No problem, “we fix ‘em while you wait.” These days, generally it’s self-service, or as it will be indicated in Spanish, “auto-service”. That sign at a car service station is more than a little confusing. You could be waiting a long time for the attendant to come out.

Even if you are a lady with fingernails, if you drive a car there are some things you are just going to have to be able to do. Even the traditional act of chivalry whereby you could depend on a man to stop and change your flat for you is fast disappearing. Men are just as likely to pass you by muttering, “sorry lady, I am in a hurry!” My suggestion ladies, get your tyres ultra-sealed so that you never have to worry about a puncture.

I am pleasantly surprised whenever there is an attendant on duty. Ever notice how controlling they are about you sticking the hose in the car. It’s because they are paranoid. If the boss sees that customers are quite prepared to fill up their own cars then that guy’s job is surely in danger. And then there is the question of those latex gloves: who uses those? Probably the ladies with nails and nail polish, I suppose. I personally wouldn’t be seen using them. It might call my manhood into question.

I have only driven into one service station where the attendant, a beautiful young woman, (am I being sexist? Sorry!) started the process of filling up my tank, then walked off to the front of my car with a small bucket and actually cleaned my windscreen. Now, you should know that I am a fanatic about having a clean windscreen at all times, so I got the greatest pleasure out of that. Who does that anymore? The only place I know of is the ZARCAR service station in the Poligono Industrial La Cala in Finestrat, quite close to the printing presses of the Costa Blanca News Group. And yes, they do have the loveliest young women working there which is another plus for us guys. (There, I’ve said it and I’m not really sorry! )

As to finding a good and satisfactory mechanic who actually understands your car, they are like gold dust. Much like finding the perfect bartender, they are to die for. Quite naturally one’s experience will be varied, but I do believe that it can be said that there seems to be one common thread amongst mechanics here in Spain: at least in my experience I have found there to be a reluctance to help me beyond my requested work. At no time have I had a garage suggest to me that I really should have the timing belt checked. No one has asked me, when was the last time the airbag was replaced? Oh yes, especially in older models with airbags, if you need the thing you will really need it, rather like a parachute. That’s no time to be testing it. There doesn’t seem to be any guidelines about this, but to have peace of mind ask your authorized concessionaire about possible tests for your model of car.

If there is a British garage near you no doubt you will be encouraged to work with them. At least the language problem disappears. Well, maybe! I took my car to a mechanic who is a Scot, and I swear I understand Manolo from Barcelona much better. Clearly, dealing with a British garage is not necessarily a panacea as even in the U.K. there will be good ones and the not-so- good. I personally had an experience where I was not very happy at all. Perhaps it was a one-off situation so I won’t whinge on about it. I just never went back.

I don’t want to leave this topic without touching on the preventative maintenance topic. It cannot be over-stressed that regularly scheduled maintenance appointments should be kept. At least twice a year for most ordinary driving, the car should have the oil changed, together with the oil and air filters, and a general check of other things such as brake pads, fluid levels for brakes, power steering, belt tensioning, particularly the timing belt; spark plugs, and a host of other check points, and a report prepared. This is the process that keeps your car in the best condition so that you can rely on it when you need it.

I admit that we can get a bit lazy about the care and maintenance of our vehicle, but look at it like this: if we were still riding horses and we failed to do our due diligence we might have a very long walk indeed!

Please don’t overtake on two-way road systems. Save your life for those who love you!

Copyright (c) 2008 Eugene Carmichael