Caution! New Year Ahead!

Clear road ahead on the CV-2014

If on January First, 2014 we have survived the roads of Valencia for another full year, we should congratulate ourselves and take a moment to smell the rose of survival. Far too many people needlessly died this past year while simply trying to go from a to z. It didn't have to happen that way. If we survived, our luck held for us and we did nothing to tempt fate.

The good news is that the annual death toll on the roads continues to fall, and hopefully the final figures for 2013 will show an even bigger drop. Of course we will all reach the end of our lives one of these days. That's natural, however, it does not have to be in a car crash, especially one where people who had nothing to do with the incident are killed as well. As long as we continue to remember that our car is not our living room, and that we don't have to answer the phone immediately when it rings we increase our chances of seeing another year off, followed by a brand new one.

The world has become a very interesting place especially because of the pace of change. It makes living to see what's coming next worthwhile. Personally I would like to live to see my 100th birthday just so I don't miss anything really important.

I want to wish all of my fellow drivers a new year without motorig problems of any significance. Perhaps the new year will bring a new car for you, the car of your dreams that will take you to new places to do new things. You just have to stay healthy and alive to realise these possibilities, so drive carefully. Remember that the life you may save may be yours, or mine.


Happy Motoring, 2014!

Copyright (c) 2013   Eugene Carmichael

A New Day is Dawning for the World of Driving

Two Ferraris crash. What could possible have caused that?

Driver error would be my guess! That coupled with excessive speed could lead to such an event. I apologise to the drivers if I am wrong but these are really expensive cars, and they are very tempting to drive fast. The fact is that driver error is generally the root cause. I have been reading an opinion by Josh Grasmick, a contributing editor to "Technology Profits Confidential that really resonates with me because my thoughts have been growing along the very lines that if we cannot trust individuals to drive with care, then that responsibility should be taken away from us.

We are living in the age of technology where problems such as this one is within our grasp to resolve. Scientists and engineers have already developed the prototype of flying car, and the driverless car is already here even though we might have driven behind one without knowing. So, why not place more effort behind bringing the technology to the masses? Well, our governments might not want to do so because the high death rates on the road does constitute a form of culling of the species. That sound trite?

The world's population now stands at a bit over seven billion, and by 2050 it is pedicted to rise by 50%. That would be unsustainable, but in the absence of some horrific war that would wipe large chunks of people off the face of the earth, how else do we effect control? Let's face it, any attempt at deliberate birth control will not be polictically acceptable, but if people do insist in treating our cars as our living rooms we will continue to kill ourselves and others.

Once in a while we are treated to film footage from the police helicopter showing what people get up to while driving along the highway. The worst thing has evolved to be driving with a smartphone in hand. I thought a smartphone required a smart person to operate it, but there is nothing at all that is smart about even talking to someone on a hands-free system. I found that I was so distracted that I was missing just too much that was important for me to know.

For my money the sooner hands-free driving comes into being, the better. That would be just about right in terms of timing because I must admit that I no longer enjoy the actual task of driving. I'm happy to get in the car and go when I'm ready, but actual driving has become a real chore.

Can I please retire?

Copyright (c) 2013   Eugene Carmichael 

On the Lighter Side

A really cool Lay-z-Boy Reclining chair

In the eyes of the police there is no such thing as a funny drunk driving story. The police leave their sense of humour at home, so don't try and make them laugh. However, provided no-one has been hurt, you sometimes just have to laugh.

In China, the boss took his employees out to dinner. Afterwards, they all realised they were too drunk to drive and the boss didn´t want to leave his car downtown. He only lived 3 miles from the restaurant, so they asked a policeman what to do. He said that as long as the engine was not turned on the car could be pushed. That is what they did, with the boss sitting behind the wheel. No problem!

In England, a very drunk dad took his daughter's Barbie electric car down his drive and onto the street when the police happened to be passing. They booked him for drunk driving, and when asked to plead, he replied I am a total twit!

A woman who held a very responsible job found herself driving home after having consumed far too much to drink. The 9-1-1 operator received a call about a woman driving while swerving and evidently drunk. What colour of car is it? It's a maroon Chevy, came back the reply. Are you sure the person is drunk? Yes, because I am that person. Wonder whether she got fired or promoted?

Many years ago in my native Bermuda, a real character of a man who owned horses, but who was a real serious drinker lost his license because of multiple DUI convictions. When next seen he was drunk on his horse, so he was charged with operating a vehicle whiled impaired. He said, why don't you charge the horse too, he's drunk as well.
Lawyers spent hours of the court's time arguing whether a horse is a vehicle!

The Lay-Z-Boy recliner pictured above is an amazing chair. It is fillted with an on-board stero system, a cup holder, and a magazine rack. It is also fitted with wheels, a lawnmower engine, a steering column, a clutch and brakes.

It was while the owner was driving home from the bar that he slammed into a parked car that the  trouble began. Now, it has been auctioned off by the police department for $3,700, which they keep. Now they are lying in wait for the guy who bought it,  because they know he won't be able to resist taking her for a spin.

Sometimes, you just gotta laugh!

Copyright (c) 2013  Eugene Carmichael

It's a car! It's a bed!

Congratulations if you ever made love in one of these!

I was talking to a friend about all the cars I have owned over the years and that set me to thinking about the first car I owned, a Ford Prefect, cream colour, bought secondhand from a U.S. Navy officer. I loved that car, and everything about it. I treated it like the most valuable piece of art.

As I drove it around and about I felt that all eyes were on me, and I was King of the Road. I think that every young man wishes for his car to act as a chick magnet. It never occurs to us that the girl is in love with our car, we're just the driver. I wanted to talk a little about the most important aspect of owning a car when you are young and the uses to which we put it.

Sooner or later, (mostly sooner) a young man tries his best to be seen by the girls in the hope that one will find him, or his car attractive, and perhaps he will get to take her for a ride and spend some quality time together.

Let's face it he has sex on his mind, and so does she, or at least something like what he has in mind. But, did the designers of the car ever consider that might be a principal use?  I think frankly, they did, and still do. In fact that may have been the main consideration that led to the front wheel drive. No longer do we have that annoying middle bump that was so hard on my shins.

The times we would take a girl for a drive and fully expect her to "come across" because it was the natural thing to do.  We never had a thought for how the girl felt. I guess the fact that she willingly got in the car with the driver must have meant that she was in the mood to at least fool around a little. However, things had definately gone way too far when the guy would make her get out and walk if she didn't "put out."

Some of the boys who did that went on to grow up and become politicians or bankers, so I guess I can rest my case and say no more. In my own defence I never did do that. In fact I can say, with head held high that I took disappointment fairly well, and in fact my life's mantra is that "Life will hand me disappointments from time to time, whether I am ready or not. I must simply learn to accept them with more grace."

There never has been a lot of room in the cab of the car for making serious love. Some of today's cars have folding seats that leave useful floor space, especially the seven seaters, but will a young person be seen behind the wheel of such a car.

I'm now a 74 year young guy who can still remember with some fondness those early days. The things we got up to in our youth, but amazingly I never broke any laws, although there are some fathers  I would not have liked to have come face to face with.

I have to wonder whether anybody uses their car as a bedroom these days. With motels and Inns that are not shy about making it clear that couples are more than welcome to stop in for a not so quickie, the use of a car might be real tacky.

Times change leaving us with some really pleasent memories and a scrapped car that would have a lot to talk about. It's just as well that cars can't write books.

Copyright (c)  2013   Eugene Carmichael