Vanity Plates

Where's the Humour?

The problem with vanity plates is that most motorists want to give a funny mesage but the DMLV in every country of the world has no sense of humour.

Here in Spain we don't do Vanity plates, so it's not a problem, except by error. We have four numbers followed by up to three letters. By converting to English we can make all sorts of meanings from letters that begin with F. There are actually cars driving around with the letters FU, and nobody even blinks, except the British and Americans. In fact. English swear words in Spain have no meaning or offence at all. Spanish swear words don't offend even British Nuns, although we hear them on television news and talk shows.

I have seen the letters HA, as in Ha! My own letters are ES, as in the letters used to express España.

I think in countries that allow it, probably the most overused or abused theme is sex. "IM2SEXY" or "ILVSEX" or "SEX4ME" are high on the list of wishful thinking.

What made me think of this was I found myself behind a car with the plate that read, "HMM", as in Hmm!

I would pay for that one.

Copyright (c) 2014  Eugene Carmichael

There is nothing so sad as a sunken car

To find this when you come back to the parking lot must be the nightmare of all nightmares for drivers.

My country is just waking up to the aftermath of extensive damage caused by Hurrican Gonzalo, a category four hurricane. With so much to take in at once, the combination of damage to the house, the garden, the estate road, and the car must be overwhelming. Of course, there are those people who own both a car and a boat, especially a luxury boat. The human psyche is not designed to cope with that type of tragedy.

Some of us just get so carried away with our cars. For instance, I belong to a motoring society that goes well over the topic by being super car proud. We drive our classics, but only on sunny days. We take them home and we wash them, then we carefully park them in the garage, and then we cover them.

If our cars were actual women, having received such loving attention from us, of course they would want to have sex with us. The motorcycle lot are no better. I was once a member of a Goldwing club and the pampering our bikes got was just silly.

So, we lavish such attention on our cars and bikes only to either be involved in a crash, or worse, to have a deluge occur resulting in submersion.

My pride and joy is a clasic Jaguar XJ6 Sovereign that is in showroom condition. I was told when I bought it that no one had ever sat in that car with dirty shoes, not even the mechanic. What must it be like to come back to the car and find it full of mud. My cream coloured seats and mats destroyed forever. I truly do believe that I would simply turn and walk away. Like a disappointed lover on finding the love of my life had been with another man. She's damaged and dirty. I shall retire to my cave and have a good cry.

I sincerely hope that not too many people lost their cars, and their sanity  in this manner during the Bermuda hurricane.


Copyright (c) 2014  Eugene Carmichael

The loss of Jan de Jonge

The Last Hurrah!

Jan de Jonge considered me to be his friend, and I considered that to be a great honour. A couple of years ago I wrote about Jan and his hobby of racing MGB cars, of which he had seven  at the same time. Jan was a jeweller by professon, but he absolutely had a passion for MGB's. He was a member of the MGB racing community, and in that he was in good company. One of those against whom he raced was none other than Mr. Bean, a.k.a. as Rowan Atkinson.

Jan took early retirement a few years ago to enjoy life away from the stress of his profession, which appears to us laymen as being a gentle art, but which  I am assured can be a real headache. His days were kept busy, either preparing to race, or racing at home or abroad, including in England. When he was not doing that, he was working with his friend, Robert in rebuilding MGB's that were the worse for wear. The car pictured above was the last one that he rebuilt and finished just ahead of his demise. It is truly a gem!

Jan knew sometime ago that he was seriously ill. He underwent treatment that weakened his physical self, but not his spirit. Oh, he had his good days and his bad ones, but on balance he never lost his sense of humour. He lived in Holland, and to amuse himself he bought two cars recently, because he could not decide between them. He bought the James Bond brand, an Aston Martin, and he also bought a new model Jaguar. How on earth do you choose each time you leave the house between those two, I just don't know.

In early August my wife told me that we were going to be going on a  journey. I never ask where, or how, or why. However, for some time I had been thinking that I really must make the trip to Holland. Without consulting me, or not having any connection to Jan's illness, my wife had chosen a trip to Amsterdam. So, it was a complete surprise to me that I ended up at Jan's house, surrounded by all my Dutch friends, and I also got some one-on-one time with Jan.

Even more surprising was that he and his wife had decided to visit their holiday home that is next door to ours here in Valencia. They arived on the Thursday and we followed on the Friday. More quiet time was enjoyed between us over several days. We talked about death as not being a permanent state; and that our personal energy, accumulated knowledge, our talents, and even our personality are all recyclable, and are passed on to the new generation. In that regard we were here before, we are here now, and when we step through death's door we step into the next adventure. We are living eteranl life in the best way there is. Our lives are a serial story.

Three weeks later, after leaving Valencia, Jan passed away in his sleep, unafraid, peacefully, and I think, comfortable in the journey he was about to take.

He was one of those persons who made a lasting impression upon everyone he met. He was just such a pleasent man who never needed to raise his voice, and in his going he has left a surprising void where we did not expect.

"Jan, it was my great pleasure in getting to know you. I truly enjoyed the time we spent in each other's company. I'm very sorry you had to take your leave so early, but I feel certain we will recognize each other in the next life that you have already started. There is no point in me wishing that you Rest In Peace, because I know you will keep busy doing something that you love in your new body.

I do join with your family and all your friends in missing you!"

Copyright (c) 2014  Eugene Carmichael