The Funeral Car

A Big Scene


In spite of the fact that the spelling of Funeral begins with FUN, this is not a car to have fun in. Although, you can be sure that there are some young ladies that could tell us a tale or two about their early sexual experiences and the funeral hearse. Personally I would rather not hear them. I come upon this topic because we are all thinking along the lines of the death of Michael Jackson. I find myself trying to visualize what sort of final farewell is being planned. If it will be big, it will be way over the top. Even a State funeral fit for a president would be eclipsed, so in reality it should be private.

But MJ was a public person, and a show person, and this is Show Business, so I think it should be Mega-Big. This is a man who worked so hard to entertain us that his final journey should be no less an event.

So, bring on the stretch limousines for the Hollywood and music glitterati, the chauffered big wheel 4x4s for the politicians and their wives. The Hummers for the rap artists, the Cadillacs and Town cars and top of the line marques, and make it one event that no one will ever forget.

The one big question still to be answered is will “The Beast” remain parked where it is, or will it make the journey as well with its very famous passengers.

Only time will tell!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Formula One Mess and Mystery

It's a Messy Mystery

Topic “A” in the world of driving must surely be the impending split of F1 racing teams into one group that want to spend as much money as they can and wish, and the other team that wants a cap on spending budgets.

The economic crisis is affecting just about everyone in the world except, apparently Ferrari. We now have two entities, FOTA and FIA. Bernie Ecclestone, the Commercial Rights Holder heads FIA the original sponsors of Formula 1 Racing, and under their leadership Formula Racing has become what it is today. However, being sensitive to the effects that the slowdown in car sales are having on motor companies, and with the survival of the sport in mind, FIA have tried to negotiate with the teams a cap on spending.

The problem with implementing such a noble idea is that long-term participants have built up a huge infrastructure to back their cars, and to now cut spending would mean cutting that infrastructure. That’s not an easy thing to do. In the world of high cost, high stakes sports the question is perhaps simply can you afford to play the game or not. If you have to ask what will it cost, then you perhaps shouldn’t be in it. Those companies that can no longer afford the outlay have simply opted out.

At the moment eight teams have lined up on Ferrari’s side, and only five have confirmed to stay with the FIA. The FOTA have said that after 2012 they will mount their own racing series, but that remains to be seen.

Of particular interest is the fact that certain countries have entered into the incredible expense of constructing racing circuits especially for F1, and then those venues have been dropped in favour of newcomers. This would appear to be especially harsh to me.

The mystery element enters when we take a look at what is happening on the track. There was a time when race results were predictable. We knew from one year to the next that Michael Schumacher would win in his Ferrari. However, since his retirement a magical thing has happened. The world championship is anyone’s game and there is no way of telling beforehand what will happen. However, that may be in question.

During Michael Schumacher’s days F1 suffered a fall-off in interest as he was such a powerful force together with his car. That was only natural, and for a time tennis was affected by the same thing as the Williams sisters dominated, and over in golf Tiger Woods was unbeatable. Now, however, one year we are seeing one man winning race after race to become world champion, and the next year he disappears off the radar. He is the official defending champion, but he completes his races way back in the pack.

This year we have Jenson Button who can do no wrong. I really must ask myself what is going on with “The Curious case of Jenson Button.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist that, but it does help to underscore my case. I am asking myself whether there could be some kind of manipulation as to the results in the interest of keeping the sport alive. I could certainly understand the motivation, however, it would be dishonest, and if fans come to suspect that race results are fixed then interest will evaporate like smoke into thin air.

FOTA is a new organisation whose initials stand for “Formula One Teams Association.” Their objective is “To promote the development of Formula One and enhance its worldwide image and reputation.”

FIA is the “Federation Internationale de l’Automobile.” As the name implies it is a huge organisation based in Paris, France whose remit is the welfare and well-being of the automotive public at large, as well as concentrating on Formula One racing.

Formula One has descended into both mess and mystery and bears watching carefully. We certainly have not heard the last from this sport, and that’s for certain.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Making the Points

Don't Miss the Points


The Spanish DGT has announced that in celebration of the three-year anniversary of the points system, those drivers who have not lost any points will actually be given two more points. At the end of the next three year period those drivers who have not lost any points over the six-year period will then be given an extra point bringing the total to fifteen, the maximum available.

That’s a good thing and very encouraging as drivers here in Spain worry more about losing points than they seem to worry about losing their lives. A curious thing that, but the statistics did reflect the potential loss of points by bringing down the death rate when all else failed.

While this is a positive development the story on the other hand is about a great many drivers who have lost all twelve of their points, and they lost additional points that they never had, some having lost twenty points in all. That is quite astonishing and speaks to the hardcore bad driver. There are some people who should not hold a driving permit as they are a menace to everyone else.

The giving of additional points is not without its irony as the people who have held their points intact seemingly don’t actually need more as presumably they’ll protect those as well. The people who need additional points are the ones who have lost all their original issue. However, points are not tradeable, and I hope they never will be as the last thing that we need is to keep the bad guys on the road.

Drive safely, keep a watch for cyclists, and guard your points.


Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

One dead Motorcyclist a Day

May, 2009 was notable for the fact that in Spain a motorcyclist a day lost his life on the roads. This is a striking fact that should have the alarm bells ringing in earnest. These were young men on their way to one place or another when they collided with death itself. Presumably there are as many reasons why these things happened as there are cases, but the bottom line is that we are losing tomorrow’s leaders for reasons that are all preventable.

Unfortunately the first image that comes to mind is that of the careless and reckless rider who crashes his motorcycle into a wall or huge truck at top speed. It’s a shame when even that happens. I was young once and I seem to remember that I did not always think through my next move before I took action, so we have to remember that simply being young is a hazard in itself.

This is no time for recriminations. We would do well to remember that every lost son leaves behind people who find that they loved him more than they knew. For parents who have to bury their sons because they crashed their motorcycle is very hard to accept. If our country is at war and we lose our son in battle that is still very difficult to live with. At least his life would have been cut short in the noble execution of his duty.

What needs to happen in order to stop these losses from occurring?

Firstly, as a bike rider it needs to be recognised that the rider has no real protection at all. Consequently we should try and avoid all surprises. To do that we have to keep our eyes on the road ahead as well as trying to anticipate what may come from the sides.

Secondly, appropriate speed under all conditions is vital. Riding too fast is the number one cause of spills. The speed limit that is posted along a stretch of road may be fine under normal conditions. Such conditions that involved dry, clean streets and a fluid flow of traffic would be fine. However, if it is raining and at night that same stretch requires a reduction in speed.

The urge to “show off” is something that is reserved for guys, and it will always be our downfall. Give a young guy an audience and he will want to draw attention to himself. Maybe he hopes that the pretty girl will be drawn to his skill and derring-do and she will become his. The dopey thing is that even if she does consent to perch her cute hot pants bum on his bike, he will still do silly things in an attempt to continue to impress her. The shame is that all he has to do to truly impress her is to get her back home safely. So, avoid the temptation to Grand Stand if you want to live another day.

Drivers are asked to be vigilant for cyclists. The problem is that so often they are hard to spot in the midst of so much environmental clutter. Cyclist are therefore urged to “Be Seen to be Safe!” What this means is that they should wear a reflective jacket over their clothes. The difference is amazing to see how drivers will give motorcyclists a much wider berth if they are so dressed. This is because the excuse is taken away that the driver just didn’t see the bike coming. Just one glimpse of a reflective jacket means that probably it is being worn by a person, so take care!

Nowhere is it written that by simply going to work, or to the movies or to the supermarket you are running a 99% risk of meeting your death. However, if you are coming home from the bar on your bike after having consumed several alcoholic drinks, the chances are more than likely that will be your last ride.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael